Through the Vortex
by Bane's Desire
Summary: Yaoi... Caught up in an experiment gone wrong, Duo loses everything that comprised his world. He finds himself living another man's life in a strange and every surprising world. See author's notes on page one.
1. Default Chapter

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire**

Warnings: yaoi. Okay, let's have some fun! This is an after-the-war, non-alternative, alternative universe fic, and yes, I'm following through on my promise of a 1x2 fic, though it might not seem like it for awhile, and Duo will find himself in sexual situations with others. I enjoy reading stories where the pilots end up in another dimension. Unfortunately, many of those stories were dropped by their authors before they finished, so I decided to try my hand at it and let my imagination go where it wanted. As an added warning, during the writing of Duo's tale, the movie Junior came on and I thought, why the hell not? So, with those warnings stated, let's begin.

**Chapter 1 - A Very Bad Day**

I can recall with absolute clarity the day that my life changed forever, and it's as if it happened just moments ago instead of the six plus months that have passed since then. The day was 22 March 200AC. I don't remember if the sun was shining or if it was a cloudy day, but I do recall that my mood was gloomy. It was my lunch hour and I decided that my hair needed a trim. To be honest, I think I was seeking out the sympathetic ear I always got when I visited the hair salon situated across the street from Preventers' headquarters.

The sound of the bells above the business's door was cheery, a complete contrast to my glum mood. I was greeted by the smell of hair products and the sight of Linda Taylor, owner and head stylist of the popular Up and Adam hair salon that catered to men. I estimated Linda to be in her late forties and her slight drawl easily identified her as coming from the American southern states. She wore her long, glossy black hair, streaked here and there with strands of white, up on top of her head, with loose curls springing from it that softened the sharper angles of her face. She typically wore quite a bit of make up and I remember that she'd painted her lips a soft pink color that day to match her smock and blouse underneath. She always wore a smock so I could only guess that she had a moderate figure, not thin but neither was she overweight. That day she was bent over, sweeping up a multi-colored pile of hair from off the floor and into a rather wide dust pan as I entered her business. Lifting her head at the sound of the bells, her eyes lit up and she smiled broadly as she watched me walk through her door.

"Well hello there, stranger. Time for your bi-yearly trim?" she teased, giving me a friendly wink. She'd often told me I was one of her favorite customers but I was pretty sure she said that to all the good-looking guys that sat in her chair. Still, her easy manner made me feel as if I were special to her.

I managed to send her a smile in return, but even I could tell it was tight and forced. "I'm fine, Linda. How's business shaping up?"

She waved away my poor joke, and I could tell by the tilt of her head and the look she was giving me that she sensed that something was off. She paused to study me, probably taking in the dark circles that were under my bloodshot eyes and noting that I wasn't my usual chipper self. Yet instead of grilling me she simply said, "Come here, darlin'." She pointed to the chair in her station, indicating that I should sit down. "Looks like we need a little heart to heart." She pulled the gray cotton drape over my Preventer shirt and fastened it underneath my thick braid.

Reaching for the bottom of the long tail of hair, she quickly unwound the elastic band and began to unravel my braid of cinnamon-colored hair that ran down my back. I heard her sigh with longing as she combed her fingers through it. "I know I've said it before, but this hair really is the envy of most women. Same as usual?" she asked, getting down to business before the real conversation began.

"Six inches," I told her, causing her hands to stop moving. She looked over my head to meet my eyes in the mirror.

"You sure? That'll bring it up to belt level."

"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied glumly.

Pulling a brush out of her drawer, the middle aged woman began to brush my long tresses, wavy from being put into the braid after I washed it the night before. "All right. Out with it," she said in an affectionately demanding way. "What's troubling you, the job or your fella?"

It never ceased to amaze me how well she had me pegged. Maybe she was just talented in reading moody men. I debated whether or not I should tell her my problems but I knew that some part of me led me there that day, needing to talk to someone. Because I'd chosen an early lunch hour I found myself in the unique position of being the only customer in the shop. Looking at my reflection, I caught a glimpse of just how unhappy I appeared. I did need to talk to someone, and Linda had always proven to be discrete. "Just between us, right?"

"You have my word," she answered solemnly.

"Then to answer your question, how about both of them are a pain in the ass at the moment. My job and my lover."

Linda continued to brush my hair and got out a spray bottle and began to wet the lower half. "Go on," she urged.

Just then, a younger woman came into the salon from a back room, and my eyes darted to her. "Jennie," Linda addressed the other in a casual manner. "Why don't you take a break? Mr. Maxwell washes his hair at home so I won't be needing you."

The twenty-something girl with spiked, magenta-colored hair and enough metal piercings on her face to make anyone question her sanity grabbed up a pack of cigarettes and gave a wave of her hand as she bolted out the front door of the shop, the bells ringing in her wake.

Once the door shut, Linda's eyes met mine in the mirror once again. "Okay, spill."

As she finished spraying my hair, I let out the deep sigh I'd been holding in while reining in my anger and frustration that had been building for a couple of weeks. "I hate my job, Linda. I'm sick and tired of dealing with the scum of the Earth and colonies. I just... I don't know." I resisted the urge to comb my fingers through my hair, something I did out of habit when I was flustered. "I just want to quit pretending that I'm making a difference and forget I'm part of this race. It makes me sick to know how much pain we people cause others just because of a need for money or power." I was disgusted.

The woman didn't know all that much about me, but she'd gathered from our past conversations that I'd been in the past two wars and that my job reminded me too much of those bad experiences.

Instead of giving me the lecture that I would probably get from my close friends, that I could make a difference by helping stop those people who hurt others, Linda simply asked, "Then why don't you quit; find something you do like?" She lifted sections of my hair by layers, drawing most of the mass up into a clip and fastened it to the top of my head.

"Heero loves it there. He honestly feels like he's making a difference while keeping up his skills."

"How are you and Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome doing?" Linda pried a little deeper. A minimal shrug was my answer. "Not so good?" she guessed. She then picked up her comb and scissors and proceeded to cut my hair, and with her attention elsewhere I felt more comfortable in spilling my troubles out to her.

"We joined Preventers together, you know? He came to L-2 shortly after the Barton incident and asked me to start a new life with him, working as partners for peace with the Preventers and sharing much more than an apartment."

Linda was looking over my shoulder, studying me in the mirror. I met my own eyes there and could see the pain I felt in them as plain as the nose on my face. I closed them, not wanting to see my own misery so clearly visible. "Damn," I swore softly, "but I'd loved him for so long that when he asked, I'd have gladly gone to Alaska, lived in a hand built igloo and fished for my dinner from a hole in the ice if he'd asked me to."

With the snip of the scissors, long thin chunks of hair began to fall to the floor. Linda didn't look up from her work as she guessed, "But something's changed recently, hasn't it?"

She let loose the hair from on top of my head and sectioned another part, then clipped the remainder back up.

"Yeah, things have changed," I answered, my voice sounded subdued even though my heart was aching. "It's not that I don't love him anymore, because I do, probably more than ever. But after what's happened, I'm not sure what to do. I can't sleep, can't eat or focus my thoughts or attention either. I'm falling apart, Linda, and I just can't keep going on like this. I feel like my life's imploding, and it's affecting everything I do. I... I think I need to quit my job, and then maybe I can concentrate on I should do about my relationship with Heero."

"You haven't told him about this, have you? That you hate your job?"

I shook my head. "His job means everything to him, probably even more than I do. I think if I were to quit it would probably be the end of us." I sought her eyes out in the mirror, my own looked sad and desperate. "I can't bear to lose him any more than I already have."

The scissors paused again. "And how have you lost him?" she asked. "The two of you seemed devoted to each other for the past... what? Two years?"

"Yeah," I answered, feeling low. "You know he's partnered at work with our friend, Trowa, right?"

"Yes, I remember Mr. Barton's cowlick very well." Linda grinned with the memory of the tall and slim auburn-haired young man in question.

"He's the life partner of my best friend, Quatre Winner."

"The rich guy, right?"

"Yeah," I replied. "About a month ago, Quat called me and asked if I knew where Trowa was. I didn't. Then he asked if I knew where Heero was. Of course I knew, Heero does laundry every Tuesday night, and while the clothes go through the machines, he stops in and visits with Mr. Katsumori on the first floor of our building. He's been doing that for the last six months, just after the old Japanese guy moved in. Then Quatre asked me about his Thursday nights and I told him that Heero was taking a community college night course on Japanese History that night. Of course, I was confident of my answer because I had complete trust in Heero, and then my best friend dropped the bomb." I looked into Linda's green eyes in the mirror and saw that I had her complete attention. "He said Trowa had been going out every Tuesday and Thursday night for the past two months. When Quat ask him where he was going, Trowa told him he was just out walking, that he need some time and space to think. That didn't explain the smell of cigarette smoke that clung to Trowa's clothing when he got home, even though his breath was free of the taste of tobacco. Quatre said he could tell something was bothering Trowa and that he'd been acting different since his accident at the circus last yearand thathe'd beenoverly secretive. Whenever he pushed Trowa to tell him what was wrong, he evaded answering. Quat told me he suspected Heero and Trowa were seeing each other behind our backs, that both of them missing on the same nights and time was too much of a coincidence not to be suspect."

"No way," Linda gasped, eyes wide with disbelief.

"I didn't believe it either and told Quatre to have a little faith in Trowa. Those two were meant for each other, two sides of the same coin. But you know," my eyes met the older woman's and the ache in my heart increased as I said, "he was right. His suspicions became my own as I started to take a more careful look at where Heero was going on those nights. I made point of having a little drop-in visit with Mr. Katsumori. The old guy said that Heero did drop by regularly for a short visit, and with a little questioning he told me that the visits usually lasted ten minutes, not the two and a half hours that Heero was usually gone. I became more suspicious than ever after that and called the college. I found out that there wasn't a Japanese History class on Thursday nights. He lied to me," I said, feeling crushed all over again. "I tried to think of how long it had been since he said he'd been taking a class and figured it had been about two months, the same amount of time that Trowa had been stepping out in the evenings. I don't have any tangible proof other than that, but I think Quatre's right, that my lover and his are cheating on us."

"I'm so sorry," Linda said, her sympathy for me could clearly be seen in her watery eyes. She turned away and refocused her attention on finishing the last section of my hair.

"Heero knows something's up," I told her, needing to get it all off my chest. "He's been watching me and says he's concerned about my lack of sleep and appetite. He's asked me to tell him what's wrong, but I just can't bring myself to confront him." I closed my eyes, suddenly so very weary of it all. "I can't sleep, I'm distracted at work and making mistakes. At home, I keep losing things, burning meals and I just want to sleep all the time. It seems that when I'm not sleeping, Heero and I are arguing."

"You need to tell him what you suspect and get it all out in the open," Linda advised, looking at me from the mirror. "You might even find that you're assumptions are wrong."

I shook my head at her suggestion. "I can't. I can't take the chance that he'll walk out and leave me."

"Then talk to someone before you fall apart."

I gave her an indignant glare. "I'm stronger than that. I don't fall apart. Well, not completely, anyway."

She rolled her eyes, basically saying, yeah right.

"You don't get it, Lin, Heero is the strongest person I know, physically and emotionally. His picture could be tacked alongside the word fortitude in the dictionary. He doesn't put up with fools or weakness, so I can't fall apart. Yet as hard as I try not to, I'm crumbling right before his eyes. I think it's only a matter of time before he boots me out, especially with all our fighting lately, but I just can't let go until that happens."

Apparently my personal advisor/hair dresser didn't know what to say to that, so she concentrated on cutting the last section of hair and then combed out the ends. "I still say you could be wrong," she said in a no-nonsense tone. "He could have a reasonable explanation for his absence."

"And the lying? He knows I have a thing about lying and, as far as I know, he's never done it before. He's covering up the fact that he's meeting Trowa. What other explanation could there be?"

Several moments passed where neither of us spoke and only the steady ticking of the clock on the wall was heard in the shop. Linda stood back to examine her work and nodded her head. "So you're just going to suck it up and be a martyr?" That was the last thing I expected her to say and I couldn't help but give a dark chuckle in reply.

"Yeah, it's one of the things I do best."

But before she could tell me what a shit-head I was being, a large deafening explosion ripped through the air and the building rocked violently, knocking the Linda to the floor. I shot out of the chair and pulled her to her feet, then hastily placed fifty credits in her hand before running out the door, leaving it open behind me.

"Be careful," Linda shouted after me as I ran towards the street. I stopped to take a quick look around and I saw large numbers of people spilling out of businesses and shops in large numbers. Traffic had come to a sudden halt with drivers and passengers jumping out onto the street to join everyone else in looking up into the sky at the large plume of black smoke that was coming from the northwest side of the city where most of the industrial businesses were located. Running as fast as I could, past the growing numbers of dazed and worried civilians, I finally made it to the front door of the Preventers' building. Because people were coming out of their offices and the elevator to see what all the commotion was about, I took the stairs, two and three at a time all the way up to the fourteenth floor. I was flushed and panting as I reached my office and saw Wufei Chang, my partner, on the phone.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked, a bit breathless and sweaty from the rapid climb.

Putting his hand over the mouthpiece, the uniformed Chinese man answered. "There's been an explosion at the Leavesly Laboratory," he explained, his ear still to the phone. "We don't know exactly what the experiment was that went wrong but there are numerous 911 reports of a strange phenomenon over the site, a swirling cloud coming out of the ruined roof of the lab. We need to get out there. Heero and Trowa are in route; their ETA is ten minutes."

"If the chopper is on the roof, we can take it and beat 'em there," I suggested while bringing my loose hair forward to braid it.

Wufei passed the idea along to whomever was on the other end of the phone line, and during the conversation I realized he was talking to Director Une. "We'll report back on our arrival," he told her, then hung up the phone. Grabbing his cell phone and wallet from off the top of his desk, the dark hair and eyed man gave me a nod. "Let's go. Who pilots?"

"Me, of course," I snorted, then gave him a cocky grin as we left the office. "After all, Heero says I'm the best at piloting."

Wufei rolled his eyes at that comment and the two of us began the jog from our office to the stairwell, where we quickly climbed the remaining three flights of stairs to the heliport on the roof where the Preventers' helicopter awaited us.

Continued soon


	2. 2 The Anomaly

Through the Vortex

Bane's Desire

Part 2 - The Anomaly

It took seven minutes for us to make the trip across town, flying over city buildings and jammed-up roadways. As we drew near our destination, the scene of the bomb blast and disturbance became more clear.

"What the hell is that?" I yelled over the loud sound the chopper's rotors made, my eyes widening at the odd phenomenon before us. Not only was the building we were approaching half gone, presumably destroyed by the explosion we'd felt earlier, but there was also some kind of swirling cloud hovering over the site of the destruction.

"Land this bucket of bolts and I'll be able to find out," Wufei shouted over the din, sounding as grumpy as he usually did on stressful assignments. At a glance I could see he was as apprehensive as I was about getting close to that... thing, swirling like an albino tornado in front of us. The bottom tip of it hovered over the point where the roof had once been, and from there it widened as it rose up into the sky and disappeared into the upper atmosphere. We both knew it was going be up to us to get as close as possible to that thing because investigating shit like this was a part of our job description.

Landing the helicopter while trying to keep it level was more difficult than I had anticipated, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. The surprisingly strong wind, that I figured could only have come from the whirling cloud, buffeted the chopper and had us tilting dangerously several times before I got the runners flat on the heliport belonging to Leavesly Laboratory. I cut the power and hopped out of the cockpit and immediately the hair over my forehead began flying wildly around my face from the strong wind that wasn't entirely caused by the slowing rotors. I grabbed up my whipping braid and ran after Wufei who was making a dash for the main building, roughly a hundred yards from the landing pad.

Once we reached the front doors of the nearly-destroyed building, we paused to look at each other, silently expressing that we had each other's backs, no matter what. We'd been partners for the two years I'd been at Preventers, and frankly, Wufei was the best part of the job. It meant everything to me to know that I wasn't alone when I jumped into a dangerous situation, and sometimes not even knowing what I was getting into... just like that day.

We entered the building only to find the wind was blowing as wildly inside as it had been around the helicopter, and there was a definite pull, like a suction towards the right hallway. I took a quick glance at the few employees that ran past us and out of the building, carrying boxes that appeared to be filled with computer discs and files. I scanned the large foyer to see a small, tightly-clustered group of older men dressed in rumpled white lab coats, their clothing and hair flapping violently against their bodies. They appeared to be having a heated exchange with their arms gesturing wildly as they struggled to make their point and stay in place as the wind whipped around them, turning the interior of the partially destroyed building into a wind tunnel. Together my partner and I approached them, and as a group they turned to us with grim expressions shadowing their faces.

"What's happened here?" I shouted above the high-pitched whistling noise the wind made as it rushed through the halls and made speaking difficult.

One of the men extended his hand to me, and upon taking it, he pulled me close to his face so I could hear him speak. "I'm Dr. Robert Granger," he shouted. His gray hair was beating wildly around his rather large forehead while his eyes were covered and protected by his thick-rimmed glasses, which he held on his substantial nose with his other hand. "We were testing a newly-developed prototype of an energy renewal device that employs nuclear isotopes within a circulating coil converter to build, store and regenerate energy, at least in theory. Today was our first trial run. There was an unexpected power loop that occurred during the first five minutes of the test and it caused an explosion. We lost three researchers in the blast."

"And the white cloud?" I shouted, knowing Wufei was plastered against my side taking in all that the man was saying as the wind continued to pull at us, our dress shoes slipping on the linoleum floor.

"The explosion created an energized vortex," he shouted back. "It's powered by the converter and is currently sucking everything into it that isn't bolted down, and its pull seems to be increasing in strength. We have to stop it before it becomes even more destructive."

"Any ideas?" Wufei shouted in my ear, though his question was directed to the scientist. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he was as irritated as I was with trying to keep my balance, hear the man over the rush of wind and think of a solution.

"There's an emergency cut-off switch on the wall of the room in which the test took place. It will shut off the converter and hopefully eliminate the vortex. Three of our men tried to get to it and were injured. We barely got them out of the room before the vortex's pull almost sucked them in."

I turned to Wufei and we exchanged a knowing look. "I'll go in, you're my backup," I told him, shoving my braid down the back of my shirt while giving him a look that told him I would not be arguing with him about it. Wufei had Sally and a baby daughter to go home to, and as this was Thursday, I only had an empty apartment waiting for me, where doubts and fears would plague me while I waited the three hours for my lover to return from..., well, from who knew where. It was a no brainer that I should be the one to take the risk that day.

Looking back at Dr. Granger, I shouted above the whistling wind, "Show us the way."

The nod the older man gave me was somewhat reluctant, yet he turned and began moving as quickly as he could down the corridor the wind was rushing down, cautious that it and the unusual pull didn't sweep him off his feet as he led us down the hall toward the destroyed room.

By the time we reached the jagged opening in the wall, I'd concluded that the door had either been blasted off in the initial explosion or sucked into the room as the door frame and surrounding wall were missing completely, leaving a sharp, jagged edge in the metal-cored wall, a barrier that had obviously been built with the intention to protect the building's inhabitants from an experiment gone wrong. The pull of the wind was even stronger now, and we were grasping at the wall with our open hands, trying to maintain our positions.

My hands were sweaty on the wall's surface as I inched towards the edge of the wall opening. Once in place, I looked around the sharp metal edge and my eyes widened with disbelief at the sight before me. The opposite wall from where I stood was gone, completely. The commercial buildings in the distance were clearly visible. Pieces of debris were skittering across the floor, pulled into the room from other parts of the building and sucked up off the floor and into the swirling white cloud above. Having viewed it from outside and above the building, I decided that seeing the vortex from below was a whole different experience. Gazing up into the vortex was like looking into the eye of a cosmic hurricane; it seemed hollow and calm in the middle while the spinning wall of white cloud matter and emitted random and brilliant sparks of energy or maybe light that made it look like one of those pictures of a super nova in a distant galaxy. I found the unnatural whirlpool beautiful as well as terrifying to look upon.

Feeling a tug on my arm, I turned my head, with no little effort against the wind, to meet my partner's dark, concerned eyes. I forced myself to move back from the wall's opening to let Wufei take my place so that he could see for himself what I was now thinking of as a vortex of light. While he was getting an eyeful, I turned to shout at the doctor, close behind us and plastered against the wall. "Where's the switch?"

The man's eyes were wide and fearful as he struggled to keep the thick-rimmed bifocals on his face. "Back wall, right corner," he yelled back, then freed one finger off the wall to point in the direction he meant, which was behind me and inside the gaping hole in the wall.

"Shit!" I muttered, knowing no one could hear me. I inched closer to my partner, gripping the wall as hard as I could. After switching places with him again, I leaned my head into the room to glimpse the box I needed to reach. I judged it to be a good twenty feet from the other side of the wall's opening, probably thirty feet in all. Moving back, I pulled hair out of my eyes and mouth as I tried to think of a way to get to the damn thing without being sucked into that giant maw. Glancing over the doctor's shoulder, my eyes fixed on the regulation emergency fire box that was bolted to the wall across the hall, about fifteen feet behind us. I could see the fire hose coiled up inside the box and decided it was better than anything else around.

I left Wufei gawking at the churning apparition and ran to the box, pulled it open and unwrapped the hose. I estimated it might be about the right length and, taking the end with the nozzle, I wrapped it around my waist and tied it off. Knowing it was the best I could do with what I had at hand, I went back to my partner. Wufei turned around at my touch on his shoulder and his eyes widened almost comically when he took in the hose, its position on my body, and realized my intention.

"No!" he shouted decisively, his face sten with determination.

"We've got no choice," I yelled back. "Just watch this end and I'll be okay. I promise."

Then without further discussion, I launched myself over my friend and into the destroyed laboratory. I was immediately assaulted by the fierce suction of the vortex's well. Using all my strength, I found myself leaning forward at a forty-five degree angle, fighting the vortex's pull as I began my struggle towards my goal. Concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other seemed to work at first. I imagined that moving against the forceful pull and wind of the vortex had to be similar to walking in a level four or five force hurricane... without the rain. My progress was painstakingly slow. I shifted my eyes over to a large box on the floor, thinking it was likely the cause of the trouble. It was silver, metal and about the size of a coffin. I remember making a face at that grim comparison. The box was lidless and the mouth of the vortex hovered about ten feet above its location on the floor. Thick power cords, secured to the floor by large metal clamps, ran around the edge of the room to an empty table, probably where the motor or whatever they were trying to power up had been placed. I could only guess it had been sucked up into the vortex. That table was also bolted to the floor and I figured I could head for it, rest a moment and then continue on to the not too distant shut-off switch on the wall.

I have no idea how much time had passed as I fought against the wind and constant pull to make it the fifteen feet from the wall's opening to the table. But when I finally clasped hold of the table's edge, I was covered in sweat and my legs were trembling from exhaustion. Thankfully, there were only five or six feet separating the top edge of the table from the box on the wall. I decided that after I shut the damn thing off I was going home to have a hot bath and a long nap.

My fingers struggled to keep hold of the metal table, grasping and losing their hold each time I thought them secure. As I continued to struggle, I heard a voice above the rush of the wind. I looked over my shoulder and through my wildly whipping hair to see Heero with Trowa peering over his shoulder, both of them watching me from the other side of the jagged opening in the wall. Heero was gesturing to the hose and motioning for me to return to safety.

I shook my head; I hadn't come this far for nothing. I was only a few feet away from my goal and I wasn't about to stop until I finished the job. I ignored everyone and set my sights on the metal rectangular box on the wall, focusing my full attention on that as my goal even as my fingers slipped once again.

I tried to move along the table only to be frustrated when I lost ground and slid back. The pull of the vortex seemed to become stronger and suddenly my feet slipped out from underneath me and were lifted from off the floor. I knew a moment of absolute fear as my hands became the only contact I had with something solid. I panicked further as they slipped down the table's edge. As a last attempt to save myself, I grasped the far-end leg of the table and wrapped my arms around it and held on for dear life. My muscles became strained and I closed my eyes as my shoes were sucked off my feet, followed by my socks. The pockets of my pants and shirt that had anything in them began to tear and were eventually sucked up into the maw along with the pockets' contents.

I knew at this point that there was no way I was going to make it to the cut-off switch. I could barely hang onto the table's leg and my fingers, hands and arms were growing weaker by the moment. I felt a tug at my waist and looked up to see Heero pulling at the other end of the hose with Wufei and Trowa at his back, bracing him. I cried out as my arms, then my hands and finally my fingers lost their purchase on the table and I was flung through the air, up towards the open vortex, greedy in its attempt to try and claim me. With my lover and friends holding the other end of the hose, I was literally flying at my end of it, just like a kite in a strong wind.

The wind caused by the vortex was so strong at this point that I could hardly catch my breath. Feeling frantic and fatalistic about my chances of survival, I used the last bit of energy I had to tilt my chin up and open my eyes to gaze at my lover and friends only to see the hose tethering me was being worn away by the sharp edges of the ruined metal wall. The expression on my would-be rescuers' faces showed pure determination and fear as they struggled valiantly at their end of the hose, but it was the look of absolute horror and grief on Heero's face that was embedded in my mind the moment the hose was rent apart.

Any problems Heero and I had been experiencing disappeared in an instant. For in that microscopic moment in time, before I was sucked into the greedy maw, I realized I was probably looking at him for the last time. "Love you," I yelled in gut-wrenching desperation, but I doubt he heard me as I was sucked up into the vortex, lost in the white cloud and howling wind with the hose snaking behind me and Heero's anguished cry following after.

TBC

Author's notes. To answer a few questions, yes, I will finish this story, it's already done - in rough-draft form. I'm guessing there are about 20 chapters, give or take a few. And Pia, this might start out a bit heavy, but it lightens up as Duo discovers how to survive in rather unusual circumstances. Thanks to Azreal.


	3. 3 Spinning Death

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 3 - Spinning Death**

From the moment I was sucked up into the bottom end of the vortex, I was flung into a tight spin and experienced the highest G-force I'd ever felt before. I kept my eyes squeezed tightly shut while tightening my stomach, leg and arm muscles in an effort to keep the blood in my body from rushing to my brain. My back felt as if it were pressed against something that wasn't quite solid but nevertheless held me in place. When the tight spinning and pressure had eased off a bit, I thought it might be was safe enough to open my eyes, and so I did... with caution. Blinking, I quickly found that the heavy wind still circulating inside the white tunnel made it impossible to open my eyelids fully, and it was unbelievably cold, like winter at the North Pole.

Surprised at still being alive, it took me a moment to get over that fact before I remembered to assess myself and my surroundings. First off, I was having difficulty breathing and gasping for air; this strange environment seemed to have a limited amount of oxygen contained within the white circulating walls. My arms were spread out from my shoulders, positioned at two and ten o'clock while my feet were likewise caught in a similar position, locked in place by the centrifugal force. Oddly, being pinned like that got me to thinking of a ride I'd seen once at a carnival, where some poor smucks spent their hard-earned money for the privilege of standing against a circular wall that spun around as it was lifted and tilted in various directions, fixing the riders to its walls. I distinctly recalled one particular teenage boy that day who chose to climb aboard that demented carnival ride. He looked like an average kid, around twelve or so, except for the fact that as I watched him, his face contorted and he turned colors, first growing deathly pale and then turning a peculiar shade of pink just before he puked all over himself. Holy shit, what a mess he made, and not only on himself. His apparently considerable lunch and numerous snacks spewed out from his mouth and splattered all over the other people who had been unfortunate enough to have gotten on that ride with him. As I was spinning around and around, pinned to the inside walls of the vortex, I knew exactly how that unfortunate kid felt as my own stomach clenched and I had to vigorously fight to keep my breakfast from coming up to flag a good afternoon.

Between the nauseousness, the bone-numbing cold and vertigo caused by the relentless spinning, I knew I was only moments from passing out. I was pretty damn miserable, and my pearly whites were clattering together so violently that I thought I was going to shatter them. I remember thinking about how bad my luck was and wondering if there was any possibility of my surviving. After all, I was pretty sure I was the only person in history to have been sucked up into the middle of a white, energy-generated tornado and survived... so far. As the bile crawled its way up my oesophagus again, I was grateful for the wind that was still swirling around me. Reminded again of the boy on the ride at the carnival, I could only hope that if I threw up, it would at least carry the vomit away from me. But with the way my luck had gone that day, it probably would come around again and hit me in the face. With that thought as incentive, I managed to swallow the wretched tasting bile back down once again while I continued to struggle for each breath and to remain conscious.

Objects big and small, probably sucked up from the lab, were also caught in the swirling whirlwind and flew around me, some of them battering against my near-frozen body and tore at what remained of my clothing. I felt an instinctive need to curl up in a ball to protect my head and stomach and seek some warmth, but the centrifugal force made it impossible for me to move anything but my eyes. I forced myself to keep them halfway open, wanting to observe the cause of my imminent death and thinking that it was... beautiful. The icy cold, white storm cloud with sparks of light blinking randomly within the walls that entrapped me reminded me of pictures I'd seen of swirling, spiral galaxies located in deep space and far beyond man's reach. Despite my fear and acceptance of my inevitable demise, I was in awe of the anomaly that would bring it about.

Darkness closed in from the edge of my vision, and my lungs fought for any air that might be trapped in that whirling space with me. I realized it was probably not the lack of oxygen that was suffocating me, but my being spun around in a gravity well at a high rate of velocity my lungs and internal organs were probably being compressed and about to collapse. What a way to go, I thought grimly.

I was struck hard by some small but solid object near my left temple and damn, I saw stars. A warm trickle of blood streaked across my face and I had no choice but to ignore it as my hands were still pinned down. My vision blurred and narrowed further as I edged towards unconsciousness.

I was just about to give into the need to pass out when I caught a glimpse of something, a flash of color that didn't belong in that white spinning tunnel any more than I did. Curiosity alone urged me to stay conscious, to reopen my eyes and focus on what it was that I'd seen. Having managed that feat, I wasn't sure I could believe my half-opened eyes. Opposite me, I saw... me, or rather my reflection. Yet the other me wore near shredded, purple clothing that barely covered the pale, exposed body. I realized that it was the color of those rags that had caught my eye, and I figured the other's clothing had probably been shredded by the vortex just like my Preventers uniform had been torn apart.

The other me seemed to be plastered against the invisible wall of the vortex, too; his arms and legs were stretched out to the side like mine. That position brought to my mind a vision of Trowa, on that damn spinning wheel at the circus that he let himself be tied to while Catherine threw her knives at him. And people think being a gundam pilot took guts.

I realized, muzzily, gasping for air that wasn't there, that there was another difference in my reflection. On that face pinched with cold, there was the look of abject terror in those wide eyes that stared back at me. I certainly didn't feel that same terror at that moment, just an overwhelming need to give in and close my eyes. As I slowly slid closer to that strong demand, it was those panicked eyes, the same shape and shade as my own, that became the last image I had from inside the vortex as my vision narrowed to a pinprick and I finally succumbed to unconsciousness.

It was the muffled sound of voices that disturbed my slumber and roused my dormant senses, though what those voices were saying was beyond my understanding at that point. I forced myself to concentrate for a moment, trying to make sense of what was going on. Had I actually survived my trip into the vortex? Did it spit me out somewhere nearby? I hoped so 'cause I didn't relish the idea of having to explain to some stranger what had just happened to me. All I wanted at that moment was for Heero to come and get me and take me home to my own bed.

"You mean to put him where?" I heard an affronted voice question.

"In the white block," another voice replied, sounding superior.

"I tell you, he is a purple. I saw the bands or rank when he came in, before that white spinner appeared in the preparation space."

A deep, losing-patience sigh was heard before the voice asked, "Then where have they gone?"

"I have no knowledge regarding that," the other said, exasperated by what seemed to be a puzzle. "Ponder it if you will that he would not be here unless he was purple in rank and if he was not a Chosen. Therefore, he is purple and should not be put in a white block. I have no knowledge of where that spinner came from or where it went, but would you dare to explain to his Chooser your putting her Chosen into a lesser facility?"

The argument faded into unintelligible sounds as did my awareness of it. I only knew in that moment that I hurt all over. My body had been battered and my head ached abominably, so much so that I gave into the encroaching darkness willingly, ignoring any other outside stimuli.

The next time I woke up it was because someone was shaking my very sore shoulder. "Stop it," I growled, irritated. My voice was thick and groggy in my ears.

"Wake up, Chosen," a male voice said in a gentle, coaxing manner. In the back of my mind I thought the voice was familiar, though the tone seemed off. The shaking of my shoulder began again.

"I said bugger off. What the hell do you want?" I snarled, getting angry at whoever it was that was disturbing my sleep.

The hand was removed and there was a moment of silence that followed. I remained still, aware that my body was throbbing in several areas and ached everywhere else.

"Chosen Duwan," the voice, tentative now, spoke again. "You must awaken so that we may assess your damage."

"Name's Duo," I answered, annoyed by the interruption of my sleep, the questions, pain and the mispronunciation of my name.

There was a sound of some movement to my left, then a female voice spoke with an air of authority. "You will open your eyes, Chosen Duwan, and cooperate or risk gaining a mark of penalty."

My eyelids felt like they were filled with lead, and though it took a considerable amount of effort, I obeyed the command, curious as to who had the guts to order a top-level Preventer agent and former gundam pilot around. Not even Director Une did that with any amount of confidence that her order was going to be obeyed. As my eyes slowly blinked open, I saw two blurry shapes standing next to the bed I was resting on. The more I blinked the clearer my vision got, and slowly the blonde hair separated from the red clothing. I smiled with relief as I recognized Dr. Sally Poe. She was one of the few medical people I trusted. I knew that if she was my doctor, I was in very capable and trustworthy hands.

"How the hell did I get out of that one?" I asked in a thick, surprisingly weak voice, not quite believing that I'd survived being sucked into the vortex.

A gasp brought my eyes to the person standing next to the good doctor. I was surprised to see Wufei there, dressed in a muted-red colored scrub, his black hair was loose and sheeting straight down to... his chin. I was shocked by the sudden change in his physical appearance, but more relieved by his presence than I could say. "Hey, Wufei. When the hell did you cut your hair? Damn, how long have I been out of it?"

My partner's eyes widened and he actually looked stunned by my questions. I was becoming more confused with each passing moment, wondering what the hell was going on. "Chosen, you will speak respectfully while in the presence of Mistra Sallah," he told me, completely serious and looking a bit nervous at Sally, standing next to him.

Flummoxed, I looked to Sally for an explanation. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I am not certain," Sally replied with a frown, her eyes studying me. "You were in your last stage of preparation for insertion when the life tech reported a that a mysterious swirling cloud appeared over your head. He stated that he watched it, terrified at the unusual sight and fearful for your safety, when suddenly you were drawn up into it. The life tech recounted that the suction of the phenomenon was considerable and that he clung to the open door's opening to keep from joining you. He waited there and observed the storm cloud expectorate you out again. The center's workers came immediately and stated that they found you unconscious, your body was dangerously chilled, your garments appeared strange and that your bands were gone. What brought about these changes while you were within the strange storm, Chosen?"

"What?" I asked, blinking at the good doctor, feeling horribly confused and not knowing what the hell Sally was talking about. I certainly didn't help matters that my head was throbbing painfully. I brought up a hand to pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to think. "Where was I before the cloud sucked me up?"

"Within the medicinal center to receive the last of your heramones before insertion. The results of the exam I performed while you were under slumber's influence concur that something happened to you while you were in the white spinner. I regret to say that all previous preparation for insertion has been for naught. Do you have any remembrance as to what has happened to your bands?"

I recall rubbing my forehead as my headache seemed to increase with my confusion. "I have no idea what the hell it is you just said," I complained, feeling irritable at her jumbled words. "Do you have something for this headache or not?"

"Wudon. Please prepare two zibits of painadul?"

My eyes opened at that and I looked to my black-haired friend and witnessed him obediently turning away to comply with Sally's order, as if he were a nurse or something. "Wudon?" I asked, and despite the overwhelming fatigue I was experiencing and the aching of my head and body, I couldn't help the laughter that burst out of me. "Wu-don?" I found the pet name Sally had given my partner and her husband hysterical. I was never going to let him live this one down.

"Chosen, contain yourself," Sally snapped sharply. Her complete lack of humor was like a splash of water in my face, sobering me somewhat - though I couldn't stop the twitching of my lips as Wufei's nickname was repeated in my mind. Then it dawned on me that Sally had addressed me again by that strange name. "What's with the chosen bit?" I asked.

Sally's frown deepened. "Please address the last thing you recall before awakening."

I closed my eyes and related the last hour of what I remembered. "I was getting my hair cut when I felt the explosion at Leavesly Labs. I caught up with Wufei at the office and we took the helicopter to the site of the explosion. One of the researchers there told us that an experiment for a new energy source had gone wrong and there was some kind of cloud-like, energized vortex created by a new-fangled nuclear converter. There was a power switch in the destroyed lab that needed to be flipped off, so I opted to do the deed and was subsequently sucked up into the white vortex."

I stopped my recounting of events as Wufei approached us carrying a small, silver cylinder-type object, about the size of a fountain pen. He promptly handed it to Sally who took it from him without a word, then turned to me. "Continue."

"Well, there's not much to say after that. I found myself inside of something similar to a giant vacuum. It spun around, was completely white and sparkling inside and it was hard to breath with my lungs being compressed by the centrifugal force. I think I finally passed out from the lack of oxygen." I looked up at the two dressed in red, surprised to see the confusion I was feeling now taking hold in their eyes. "How'd I get out of there anyway? Did Heero get to the switch or something?"

It was easy to see that Sally wasn't happy. "What is your name and rank color?" she demanded.

I sensed that something was wrong... off somehow. "Come on, Sal, what's going on?"

"Answer me." Her tone was stern, and it was easy to see she was back in commando mode, which was kind of scary. I decided to humor her.

"I'm Duo Maxwell, an agent for the Preventers Organization. Badge number 000220."

"Preventers?" Wufei asked as if he was trying the name out on his tongue for the first time.

"What the hell is going on here?" I demanded, becoming even more alarmed by the weirdness of the conversation.

Sally reached down and grabbed my forearm, then pressed the tubular object Wufei had handed her against my wrist. I felt a small, sudden pressure against my skin and pulled my arm away when she stepped back. "That med will ease your head pain and your mind as well as give you rest," she said in a detached, clinical manner. I could feel the medication moving up my arm and it was the strangest sensation to follow the drug as it moved through my system. Then suddenly, my limbs felt heavy and boneless. The pain I'd had was completely gone and I felt good all over, really really good.

"Thzza new drug?" I asked, slurring my words together as my tongue ceased to work along with my brain.

"No, it is a standard med for calming."

"Don't need no calming. Wherez 'ero? Wanna go home." I felt my eyelids drooping and felt almost to the point of not caring about anything anymore.

"I know not anyone named Eero," Sally said, her voice fading. "Your Chooser has been alerted as to what has happened and of your condition. She is coming posthaste, as her duties allow. Your caretaker, however, is anxiously waiting to see you."

"Choooozer? Caretaker?" I was a bit behind the conversation, but somehow managed to get my one-word questions out. I looked to the dark-haired blur next to the doctor. "Juz 'ero. Bring 'ero ere, Wu." Then the drug in my system took over and I exited that strange, confusing la-la land into a dreamless sleep.

**Continued soon**


	4. 4 Understanding Falls Like a Brick

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 4 - Understanding Falls Like a Brick**

"Duwan." There was yet another voice trying to coax me out of my drug-induced sleep, and this time it was a feminine one and, once again, familiar. I remember trying to wake up, but just couldn't seem to manage the simple task of opening my eyes. "Wake up, Duwan." After a Herculean effort, I managed to blink my eyelids open and was rewarded by seeing Hilde's pixie-like face, framed by her short black hair, hovering over me. Her smile was soft as she gazed down on me with obvious fondness. "You have been through a frightening ordeal," she said with a great deal of sympathy. "Tell me how you feel." Sweet Hilde, I thought. She's a great friend.

"Like I'm on the biggest dope trip you could ever imagine, Hil," I answered, still feeling woozy. "What are ya doing dirtside? Thought you said you were too busy to come down and visit 'til Christmas." I was silently hoping she hadn't hocked something important in order to fly down from L-2 to visit my sorry ass. It was damn expensive flying on shuttles to or from the colonies.

Her cool hand stroked my cheek. "I'm your Chooser, Duwan. Who else would be here to take you to my abode?"

I blinked up at her as I realized that my trippy nightmare was ongoing. Taking a good look at her, I noticed that, like Sally, Hilde was dressed in an all red outfit, looking something like Wufei's traditional dress clothes. She wore a long tunic and loose pants that I thought looked pretty good on her slender figure except for the fact that it was a darker shade of red than what looked good against her pale skin and it made her chest look flat. It was nothing that one of those Wonder Bras I'd seen advertised couldn't fix, I mused to myself at the time, feeling rather dopey. I was finding it difficult at the time to center my wandering thoughts, to bring them back to figuring out what in the blazes was going on. "You say you're my chooser? What have you chosen me for?"

Hilde's smile faded and a look of concern flashed in her eyes that suddenly looked more purple than blue. Funny, I never noticed that before. "Sallah disclosed to me you had been injured and were confused. Are you expressing now that you have no remembrance of being my Chosen?"

"Like I asked before, Hil, what the hell is a Chosen? It better not be what I'm beginning to think it is because the only person choosing me is Heero and dammit, where the hell is he?" I became increasing agitated by the confusing situation.

I was startled speechless when my face was grabbed roughly in a vice-like grip between the hands of that petite woman. She brought her face within inches of my own and in a steely voice Hilde sternly said, "I do not know what was done to you, Duwan, but believe my words when I say that you are my Chosen. Though your bonds have somehow been removed from your body during your... misadventure, it does not signify that your contract has been made null or that you are allowed to be disrespectful to me or any one of the red or blue ranks. Do you comprehend my speaking?"

Despite the grip on my jaw I managed to nod my head. With an exasperated sigh, Hilde removed her bruising fingers from my aching face. I looked up at her while rubbing my sore jaw to see a disapproving expression on her smooth, flawless face, a look that seemed so out of character for my good friend. "Honest, Hilde," I said in my most sincere voice. "I don't know what's going on here. Everyone keeps speaking weird and using names I'm unfamiliar with and acting strange."

"My name is not Hilde or Hil," the black-haired woman snapped. "I am your Chooser, Mistra Hildah."

"Hildah?" I moved my fingers from my jaw to rub my aching temple with my fingertips. "When did you change your name?"

"I have not changed it, Duwan. You are obviously having some difficulty remembering yourself, your rank and mine."

I tried to straighten out the mush swirling around in my mind for a moment before speaking. "Am I really awake or just having some sort of weird nightmare?"

"I assure you that you are fully cognizant and behaving in a most unreasonable manner."

That old bastard fear began creeping up on me again as my confusion mounted. "Where's Heero? Why isn't he here?"

"Heero? " the petite woman asked, looking puzzled. "Do you mean Herron? Relna's Chosen?"

Now that was too much of a coincidence to be anything but weird, and suddenly my temper bristled at the images the title Chosen brought to mind when associated with Heero and Relena. I'll be damned before I let my lover within a ten foot radius of his former stalker if she thinks she's chosen him for anything other than being the friend she'd agreed to be. Damn, I was pretty sure we'd dealt with the "Relena problem" after the war and that it was an over and done deal. At least I thought it was... until that moment.

Throwing back the blankets, I moved to get off the bed and stood up, determined to get out of that room and find Heero. I'd somehow pushed aside my suspicions regarding Heero and Trowa, and focused instead on Relena, thinking that if she'd been keeping him from coming to me in the hospital, she had just earned herself more trouble than she'd bargained for. I was so caught up in my need to seek out Heero that I'd forgotten about all the damage that had been done to my body while in the vortex. The moment my feet hit the floor the purplish walls of the room began to spin. Reacting instinctively, I reached out to grab for anything to steady myself with as my knees threatened to buckle. I found myself clinging to Hilde... or rather Hildah's body for support.

"What are you doing?" she snapped at me, alarmed, her arms struggling to support my near dead-weight body.

"If Heero won't come to me, then I'll go to him," I gasped as the room spun wildly around me. I quickly closed my eyes. "Dammit," I ground out. "It's bad enough that he's fooling around with Trowa, but I'll make him eat shit before I'll let little Ms. I-Can't-Get-A-Friggin'-Clue Peacecraft get her hooks into him. I'm not going through all of the crap drama she pulled last time."

"Duwan!" The woman holding me shouted at me in a stern, reprimanding tone... right in my ear. "You now have one mark against you for this unseemly behavior. If you continue to ignore your training, taking advantage of your bands having been removed, then you will be severely punished when I have them re-applied next cycle."

"Bands? What the hell is that?" I snapped back, falling to my knees and carrying the petite woman with me. "Can someone please tell me what's going on here 'cause I haven't got a clue." I suppose all the confusion, the physical and emotional trauma from being in the vortex was getting the best of me because I'd definitely lost my cool. My head began to ache something fierce again and the room was still spinning, almost as fast as it had inside of the power generated vortex I'd been in earlier. I remember desperately clutching the upper arms of the woman who was bent over and trying to hold onto me. I buried my face into the sweet-smelling red cloth of her jacket as the dizziness threatened to overtake me.

"Sallah!" Hilde's voice called out in alarm for the doctor, and a moment later gentle hands lifted my aching body and carefully placed me back in bed. I kept my eyes closed, still feeling the room spinning and keeping half an ear to Hilde, or rather Hilda's voice, as she conversed in low, concerned tones with Sally. I was so confused, not understanding what was going on and why everyone was acting so weird. A moment later I came to the conclusion that whatever the two women were saying to each other, it wasn't worth the pain and effort it was taking to try and follow their whispered, strangely spoken conversation.

I felt a soft, cool hand come to rest on my forehead and then another joined with it to massage my throbbing temples. I inched my eyes open to see Wufei above me, his eyes pinched with worry.

Relief swept through me in seeing my partner still there. Everything was going to be alright, I told myself, now that Wufei was on the scene. "Thanks, Wufei. That feels good, man," I told him, grateful for his soothing touch.

"I am known as Wudon, not Wufei. Why do you repeatedly refer to me in such a way?" the Asian young man asked with genuine curiosity.

"This is a pretty elaborate joke being played at my expense, Wu," I said wearily. "Am I even in the hospital in Sanq? I don't recognize the decor, but who the hell would paint the wall in a graduated purple other than Relena?"

"Purple is your rank," the other replied. "And being Purple, you are naturally placed in this section of the urgent care unit. You are presently not in a place called Sanq and I have never heard of such a place before. Is Sanq an urban center, land boundary or establishment?"

I frowned as I tried to follow what he was saying, distracted by the persistent pounding in my head that felt similar to a full section of drums in a large marching band, all playing in unison. "Well if I'm not in Sanq, where am I?"

"You are within the perimeters of Sangor and in the higher-ranked medicinal center where you have come for your medicinal assessment, preparatory to insertion."

At that point, my head was spinning. I couldn't make heads nor tails of what he was talking about, but I was beginning to believe that something drastic had happened to me in the vortex. It seemed as if these people knew me... but as someone else. I apparently fit into this strange place... but not as Duo Maxwell. Even the words, that had been spoken to me by the familiar-looking people that I'd come into contact with since waking up, were similar to the words I knew yet they were somewhat unfamiliar in their usage.

Still confused, I looked up to the man standing next to me, and focused on my former war buddy and current Preventer partner. I realized, after a few moments, that there was something decidedly different about him. Not only was his hair shorter than I'd ever seen it, cut to the jaw line, but it was loose and fell like an ironed curtain from the part that began at the left side of his forehead. I realized suddenly that there was a lack of the familiar intensity that I'd always observed Wufei's eyes and that the famous glaring frown that could rattle just about anyone who wasn't a close friend was missing. Studying him more closely, I saw even more changes in him that rattled me to the core. I don't know why I hadn't seen it before, but his skin was pale, not the usual caramel color that denoted his ancestry, nor were his eyes slanted or as dark as I knew them to be. Instead of the darkest of browns, they were definitely a softer shade of that color, with flecks of amber in the iris. "You're not my partner Wufei, are you?" My heart was beating wildly in my chest as the reality of my situation came into focus.

"We are acquaintances," he answered, looking slightly apologetic, "but my only familiar and allegiance is to Mistra Sallah."

Not knowing what else to think or say about the situation, I closed my eyes and tried to get a grip. "Oh, God," I whispered, not knowing who else I could appeal to. "What continent are we on?" I asked, needing to gather more information.

"Continent?"

"Land mass." I opened my eyes again. "Are we even on a planet? You know, the thing that circles the sun."

He looked at me in confusion for a moment before understanding lit up his eyes. "We are on the satellite, Erith. Our ruling boundary on Erith is called Uranth and Sangor is where we abide and it is the center of leadership."

"And my name?"

"Duwan, Chosen of Hildah."

"Oh God," I moaned again, squeezing my eyes tightly shut to block out the reality of this nightmare. I curled up into a miserable and aching ball, clutching my braid in my hands as I began to rock myself, trying to come to terms with the fact that the vortex had somehow transported me to a place that was either a mirror of Earth or a different dimension. All that I had known and everyone I cared about was gone. I was now a stranger in a very strange land, one that I obviously didn't comprehend.

I felt the familiar pressure on my wrist of the painless injection Sallah had given me before, and I welcomed the drug, hoping it would sweep through me quickly and take me into blessed oblivion. My wish was promptly granted.

TBC


	5. 5 And Behind Door Number Three

Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 5 - And Behind Curtain Number Three

My cheek was being gently stroked as if I were a treasured, pampered pet, and the soothing sensation slowly brought me out of my drugged-induced sleep. I immediately recalled the events that had occurred just before I was drugged and I decided that I really didn't want to open my eyes. I'll admit, I was scared about having to face the new reality that was going to be my life from then on. As the petting of my face continued, I realized I couldn't avoid it forever, and if my full bladder was any indicator, not even another five minutes would pass before I had to face reality. I was more or less forced by that bulging, complaining organ into deciding that I might as well get on with it, and the sooner the better.

I slowly opened my eyes and blinked at the blurred person above me, who paused in petting my face. The dark hair and sharp oval face came more into focus with each passing moment. Then, just as my vision cleared, it became blurred again, but this time with tears when I realized exactly who it was that was gazing down on me. "Heero," I whispered, and with aching, irritatingly heavy arms I reached up and clasped hold of my lover, bringing him down to my chest and holding tightly to him. "I was having a horrible nightmare," I told him in a shaky voice, my eyes closed tightly.

Heero whispered back while returning my embrace, "I was told of your unfortunate misadventure at the medicinal center and was called to offer comfort. You are secure and I am present. Everything will be well as soon as you heal and come to yourself again."

My eyelids snapped opened, and looking over Heero's shoulder my eyes swept across the room. I didn't recognize it or see anything familiar. The walls were an oddly tinted white shade, almost a very pale purple, and there was a large, single window where I could see blue-white clouds scudding across a pale yellow sky, reminding me that I wasn't in the world I was familiar with anymore. I forced myself away from that thought for a moment to bring my focus back to the room, to the furniture. It was ultra modern, sharp angles and stiff looking, not my style at all and done in varying shades of... purple. Ugh!

"Where am I?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Heero pulled himself up from off my chest and looked down on me, frowning with concern. "In your resting space," he answered in a matter of fact tone.

"Is it a private room in the..." I had to pause a moment in order to recall the name of the place where I'd awaken to Wufei, Sally and Hilde's doubles. "Medicinal center?" I guessed.

"No," Heero replied, gazing at me cautiously. "This is your resting space in Chooser Hidah's abode."

"Shit," I moaned and closed my eyes against further proof that I was out of my league, off my planet and going out of my mind.

"Wudon spoke of your speech, that it was odd and seemed foul. You must restrict your tongue and temper your vileness, Duwan, or face another mark."

I opened my eyes again to see him frowning down on me, disapproval in his eyes. Now that I was really focusing on him I could see those eyes weren't quite the deep-blue shade that I'd often lost myself in, the ones that had made me fall in love with a teenage soldier. Also, like Wudon, this man's skin was lighter in color than Heero's and there were no small frown lines around his eyes that I used to kiss away. He looked younger and... soft. Even with the apparent differences, this person appeared so much like Heero that I had to look very hard to assure myself that he wasn't my lover. Seeing him dressed in a completely dark purple getup further convinced me further of that fact.

"You're not Heero."

"You know full well that my name is Herron," the other man told me, sounding and looking rather put out with me. "What is this gambit that you are entertaining?"

I couldn't answer him as the enormity of my situation hit me once again. I turned my head away instead and buried my face into the pillow. It was unbelievably painful to realize that I really was completely removed from all that had been familiar to me: my job, even though I hated it, my friends, home and most of all, Heero. I wondered if everyone back home would think I was dead? Maybe I was and this was some sort of afterlife, my purgatory. But I knew I wasn't dead because I felt so wretched. I didn't think it was possible to feel so bewildered or be in so much pain and grieving the loss of my former life if I were in that permanent state of rest. My heart was heavy and although I tried not to, I was unable to resist the need to give into my grief for all that I'd lost, for Heero and my friends. I broke down, crumbled like a stale cookie, and although I didn't make a sound, I hadn't cried like that in a long, long time. I was devastated, having lost everyone dear to me the moment I was sucked up into the swirling vortex. It was as much a physical pain as it was emotional, and it hurt more than I had ever dreamed possible.

I felt a comforting hand rubbing my back, trying to console me, but I would have none of it. The person behind me wasn't who I needed him to be, he wasn't Heero, only a stranger that sort of looked like him.

"Duwan, what troubles you so?" Herron asked softly, clearly puzzled by my behavior. "Sallah expresses to Relna that you appeared confounded, that you had been taken up into an unknown apparition that looked like a spinner storm and that your bands had been mysteriously removed." Then Herron's voice softened even more as his consoling continued. "Cast aside your concerns, Duwan, Mistra Hildah still chooses you. Your contract is still intact. She even had your bands replaced before you were brought to your resting space."

That got my attention. I lifted my face from the pillow, roughly wiping at the evidence of my grief, sniffed, and then turned my red eyes to look at the other man. "Bands?"

He look confused at my question for a moment, then pointed to his right, bare upper arm where I saw two tattoos, each one an inch wide line encircling his biceps. The upper stripe was blue, the lower one purple. I then followed his hand as it moved upward to his neck, where he motioned to a quarter inch metal choker that looked like burnished copper, wrapped around his neck and resting lightly on center of his collar bone.

I realized than that there had been a persistent stinging on my upper right arm from the moment I woke up but I'd ignored it because my body ached just about everywhere. I'd also been just a bit distracted in seeing Heero, or rather the person I thought was Heero. I looked down at myself for the first time since waking to see that I was wearing clothing similar to Herron's. It was sleeveless, purple, and felt softer than silk against my skin. On my arm there were two stripes identical to Herron's in size and placement, but the colors differed slightly. The upper band was red and the lower one purple. My hand flew to my neck, confirming the fact that I also wore a near-weightless but solid metal band there, like Herron's. I customarily wore only my cross on a slender silver chain around my neck, but it had never been as close to my throat as the band I found there. My searching fingers confirmed that my cross was gone, my only physical memory of Maxwell Church, and I could only guess that I'd lost it while spinning inside the vortex. Another loss I've suffered because of the vortex. The metal band, barely registering against the skin on my neck, was a poor substitute for my cross, and it felt too close and strangely constricting, though I think that was more of an emotional reaction than physical discomfort.

"What do they mean?" I asked Herron, feeling numb with loss and a little breathless by everything that was happening.

"That you are a Chosen." He pointed to the purple stripe on his arm. "This denotes my rank as Purple." His finger then moved up to the blue band. "This signifies the rank of my Chooser. I am Chosen by Mistra Relna, a Blue. You are Chosen by Mistra Hildah, a Red."

"Tell me about the ranks." I figured I needed to learn as much as I could about this world if I was going to have to live in it. I've always had to learn quickly in order to fit in, to adjust my way of living and thinking as the necessity of surviving came into play. I decided this situation was no different.

Herron reached out and with gentle fingers brushed back some of the loose hair that had fallen over my shoulder. "You are not yourself, are you?" he asked gently.

I shook my head, feeling lost and alone. "I don't know, Herron. I feel so strange." I didn't know if I should tell anyone in that foreign world that I didn't belong there or if I should just try and bluff my way through this new life. It seemed to me that Duwan had a pretty cushy life, at least that was my first impression. I had this gut feeling that it would be better to play at being Duwan, using the excuse of the known accident for my loss of memory, my obvious confusion, and if there were any noticeable differences between me and my counterpart. I decide to keep up the pretense that I was Duwan until I gained more information and viewed my options.

Arms, not as strong as those I was used to, gathered me up and held me against a chest less muscled than Heero's. But damn, Herron smelled good even though the scent was different from my Heero. He smelled like musk and spring thrown together. "Have no fear, Duwan," the other man whispered into my ear. "All will be right once again. You experienced a terrible fright but in a cycle or two all will be righted. After your mind settles, Mistra Hildah intends for you to start your heramones again; your contract will remain intact."

I shamelessly clung to Herron as if he were my lover. I desperately needed something to anchor myself to and, at that moment, he filled that role. I wished harder than I'd ever wished for anything before that all that I was experiencing was just a dream, a very vivid and twisted one, and that I would wake up in a hospital in Sanq with a really good story to tell. But the dream just wouldn't go away, and I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to face the fact that I was an alien in this strange world.

"Herron?"

The voice that came from the doorway was unmistakable and it set me on edge immediately. It was Relena, or rather, Relna. I looked over Herron's shoulder to see her standing just outside the open door, silhouetted by the brighter light in the hallway. She was a vision in blond hair that fell in loose curls to her waist, dressed in a gossamer, royal-blue dress that seemed to kiss her skin from her pale, visible shoulders down to her wrists and ankles. Herron's reaction to her voice was immediate. He disentangled himself from my arms and quickly stood to face his Chooser and bowed his head to her in what I gathered was a sign of respect.

"Are you prepared to take your leave?" she asked in a soft, melodic voice.

"As you desire," Herron returned, politely accommodating.

I sat there with my eyes bugging out of my head. This was coming a bit too close to the nightmares I'd had during the war. Sure, I'd dreamt about death and the horrors of my youth back then, but what I feared the most during that time was Relena's pursuit of Heero and how he wouldn't completely put her off, saying she seemed important enough to the cause of peace for him to keep her happy in her fantasy world of the two of them being a couple.

"Don't go," I said to him in an embarrassingly needy voice before I could stop myself. As both of them looked at me in a peculiar way, I belatedly reminded myself that this wasn't Heero and the woman standing in the doorway wasn't Relena. Even so, I was reluctant to let him go. I felt strongly that Herron was my strongest link so far in understanding this world. He'd revealed more of this foreign place to me in the few minutes we'd spent together than what I'd learned the first few times I'd awakened in the hospital, or rather, medicinal center.

"Duwan." Relena's twin addressed me with a genuine look of concern on her face. "Are you well and more yourself?"

I paused to consider my answer, knowing that I needed to justify my confusion. I looked squarely into her eyes and said truthfully, "I'm feeling a bit lost, Relna."

"Herron?" Relena's double then looked questioningly at her Chosen. Herron's head rose from its bowed position. "Forgive him, Chosen," he rushed to say. "He doesn't remember us or anything of his life."

"Then his behavior is excusable. Hildah is concerned that he may need retraining, which is a pity since he was about to acquire the insertion."

For some reason her statement or some parts of it seemed to upset the other man. I watched Herron, puzzled to see him bow once again, but this time deeper and from the waist. "If you would allow me, I would instruct Duwan myself rather than put him through the full retraining again. He's very fragile at the moment, my Mistra."

There was a moment's pause as the young woman considered her Chosen and his request. She slowly turned her eyes to meet mine as I pushed myself up to a sitting position on the bed. Her gaze was startlingly intense and made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. She didn't deign to address me again, instead she turned her full attention back to Herron. "Your concern is admirable, Herron. Knowing Duwan is your chosen familiar, I will grant your request and speak to his Chooser to see what we can arrange, but I believe that his caregiver may be more functional in this matter. Now, enough," she said with a tone of finality concerning the last subject. "Take your leave now as Naylor is requesting your attention. You may return another cycle to visit Duwan and give instruction as required. Say your departing words and then meet me at the main portal."

With that said, Relna turned and left the room, her gossamer blue dress gently flowing behind her like a fairy-tale princess. Herron straightened from his long-sustained bow and moved back to me, immediately taking me in his arms again. He wasn't Heero, but he certainly knew how to give comfort and I was feeling vulnerable enough to soak up as much of it as I could.

"You are fortunate that Mistra Relna is very fond of me, that she grants me this request," Herron whispered softly into my ear. "I would do much to keep you from going through the training again. I have to depart now, but my return will be made as soon as possible, in tu or tre cycles." I clung to him for a moment longer, having no idea how long tu or tre cycles was. I was afraid to let him disappear into the unknown. "Duwan," he said my name more firmly. "I really must depart. We can not risk Relna's displeasure." It was odd to hear a hint of fear in that familiar voice. Heero didn't fear very much, and I'd never seen the Relena in my world do anything to intentionally hurt anyone, much less Heero. She may have been persistent in chasing him down during the war and sometimes a pest, but I truly believe that she'd never intentionally caused harm to another person. I had to wonder what it was that Relna had done to make Herron afraid of her displeasure or this training he was trying to keep me from.

He forcefully loosened my grip from around his waist, and I quickly settled my needy hands in my lap. "All right," I said, sounding as defeated as I felt. "Just hurry back." Before he left the edge of the bed, Herron swooped down and captured my lips, delivering an open mouth kiss that I eagerly accepted, mostly out of habit. His mouth was familiar and the touch was something I desperately needed.

When he pulled back, Herron said something that I'd never anticipated. "You smell of body heat and taste of medicinal substances. Cleanse yourself." I was a bit embarrassed, but that had to be the most unromantic parting line I'd ever heard. I watched as he straightened and smoothed his purple getup, then turned and walked briskly out of the room without casting a single look back at me.

I sat on my bed feeling a bit stunned. Slowly, I turned my head to take in the unfamiliar room that I was told was mine. The purplish walls were a soft contrast to the darker, colorful furnishings. "What is it with purple?" I asked myself out loud. Sure, I was told I was purple in rank, though I had no idea at the time what that meant, but did I have to wear the damn feminine color and live with it, too? My eyes went to a large scenic painting on the wall and I studied it for a moment. The colors depicting the landscape were all wrong. I hoped it was merely an artist's interpretation, displaying their artistic slant rather than depicting actual life, because the yellow sky, blue grass, green lake in the distance and trees of orange, yellow and other colors of which I'd never seen the likes of, were too odd to be real. Yet somehow I knew that if I looked out the window, those were the colors I'd see. Feeling out of place and time, I could only wonder how I was going to pull off being Duwan, a chosen - whatever the hell that was - and not Duo Maxwell, a former street kid and gundam pilot, thrown into this world by a freak accident. I had a sinking feeling that this was going to be a lot more difficult than I could ever imagine.

TBC

**Author's note to reviewers**: Thanks to those who have taken the time to review. To answer some questions:

_ahanchan_: I've toyed with the idea of writing Heero's POV from the other side of the vortex, but if I do write it, it won't be posted until this story is finished. I don't want to give away what's going to happen.

_Pia_: Straight? Not really... just wait.

_Anon & Sylishkiller_: Confused? We'll so is Duo, in his own world as well as his life in Erith. As this story is told from his POV, you're supposed to be as confused as he is and you'll find out about this new world as he discovers it. He's not going to figure it all out, but what he does discover is going to surprise the socks off of him.


	6. 6 Skip To My Loo

**Author's note**: I asked, and the answers I got (most of them anyway) said that Mueller was blond and Walker was the brunet. If I'm wrong, just picture the right guy with bleached hair.

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 6 - Skip to My Loo**

Unsettled by my interaction with Heeron and Relna, not to mention the strange, fragmented things I'd learned so far about this foreign world I'd been thrown into, I felt the urge to do something, to put myself into action and figure out what I was going to do. First, I decided, I had to figure out this place called Erith. So I began with what was available: myself and the room I was in.

I looked down to study what I was wearing, realizing that it was some sort of nightshirt. The long, loose and almost weightless garment was sleeveless, and I decided it was probably styled that way in order to display my arm bands. I felt the fabric, rubbing it between my fingertips, and was amazed at its softness. I dropped it after a moment and brought my hand up to touch the area around my neck, discovering my lone garment had a round, collarless neckline that was cut an inch below the metallic band that encircled my throat. The fabric was purple, a deep violet shade, and my nose wrinkled with distaste. I just don't wear purple, not ever, considering it too effeminate. I consoled myself with the fact that at least it was somewhat modest as it fell to my knees, covering the fact that I was wearing nothing underneath. Though I'd never worn anything like it in my life, it certainly wasn't something I'd ever pick out for myself, I decided it was unbelievably comfortable.

My gaze returned to my slightly stinging arm, to the two tattoo bands that were now a permanent part of my body. Okay, I recalled that I was a Purple, whatever that meant, and the person whose place I had taken had some sort of contract with Mistra Hildah, who was a Red. I really didn't completely understand all that I'd been told by Sallah, Wudon, Hildah or Herron, but I was determined to figure this place out.

What did the different colors mean?

It was obvious that color identification was important in this society and that it was essential for me to understand exactly what the role of each color was as well as what my role as a purple entailed. Even though I understood pretty much what was being said, our language being similar, the people here spoke differently and it added to my confusion. Yet, somehow, my obvious confusion, lack of knowledge of my circumstances, the removal of the bands and even my acting strange hadn't revealed me as an impostor, nor had those differences terminated the agreement of the contract with Hildah, from what I could tell anyway. I could only figure that I must closely resemble Duwan.

From what I'd gathered, I was Hilde's double's Chosen. Did that mean I was her lover, her servant, or her all around, good-looking house-boy boot licker? Frustrating as it was not knowing what was going on, all my guessing wasn't going to tell me anything. I figured I'd just have to wait for the answers to all my questions until Herron came back. I wondered if a cycle meant an hour, a day, week or month. I didn't have much choice other than to find things out as they happened. I just needed to stay sharp and try to memorize everything I could.

I thought about getting out of bed to begin learning more about the strange world I'd been dropped into, but my aching body protested at the slightest movement, the tattoos on my arm stung and the thing around my neck was bugging the crap out of me. I carefully eased myself back down on the very comfortable bed and pillow, pulled the blankets up to my chin and closed my eyes.

Once I was settled, I tried to take a deep calming breath through my nose as Wufei had often instructed me to do when I was stressed. I realized on my first lung full that even the air of this world was different. It smelled clean and surprisingly sweet. There was a definite absence of the smell of auto exhaust or factory fumes. Of course, that could be because I was indoors and the air was filtered, but I have a pretty good sense of smell and I really didn't sense any odor that was familiar with living in a city. I forced myself to relax and took my time in filling my lungs with the unpolluted air again, enjoying it and letting it calm me.

"Chosen Duwan?"

My eyes snapped open to the sound of the unfamiliar voice and to see a brightening of the lights in the room. A handsome, blond man that I figured was slightly older than me stepped into the room with a tray laden with what looked like food and drink. "Who are you?" I asked, grunting as I forced myself back into a sitting position.

The man looked startled for a moment and his steps faltered before he proceeded to the bed. I quickly took in his appearance, noting that he was taller than me by at least four inches. He wore a pale lavender, well... outfit is the only word I could come up with to describe what he was wearing. It consisted of a sleeveless, loose-fitting tunic that looked to be made up of the same soft material that my nightshirt had been crafted from. Beneath it he wore matching, loose-fitting pants. On his right upper arm there was a tattoo similar to my own purple stripe, but he lacked an upper stripe of color. I noticed too that the color of his clothing was definitely a lighter shade than mine. After I studied it for a moment, it was easy to see his arm tattoo matched his clothing perfectly, and that the color of my purple band matched my nightshirt. I wondered what _that_ meant. I desperately hoped it didn't mean that I'd have to wear the color purple for the rest of my life. If that was the case, I was pretty sure I had died and was permanently stuck in one of those rings of hell I'd once read about.

"I am Mueller," the blond man answered my question with a worried expression on his face. "Mistra Hildah sent sustenance and instructed that you consume all that you desire in order to regain your strength." The tray was set down on the table next to my bed and then the man's blue eyes rose to meet my own. I saw honest worry and concern in them. "Are you sound in mind and body?" he asked in a quiet voice, then quickly added, "I was informed by the medicinal center's workers as to what happened to you after I left you in the treatment space." He bowed his head deeply before continuing. "I ask your forgiveness for not being by your side when you had need of me, Chosen. I was also kept from your presence while Mistra Sallah assessed your damage, but I faithfully remained outside your resting space all the while, worried for your well being."

"Thanks for caring," I answered the stranger, keeping a wary eye on him. "I'm not so sure about how I feel," I continued. "I'm sore just about everywhere and I don't remember anything. Not who I am, where I am or what's going on here."

"Even me? You have no memory of me, your caregiver?" There was a trace of hurt in the man's voice and I wondered what he was to me, or rather to the person I'd replaced. A caregiver?

"Yeah, even you." I gave him my best look of apology and it seemed to soften his being hurt by my forgetting him. I looked down to study the tray and the variety of food. Honestly, I'd never seen anything like it before. Most of it looked like some sort of fruits and vegetables and maybe a few nuts thrown in, but I couldn't be sure. I was almost certain that there was no meat on that tray. Did that mean everyone here was a vegetarian and that I would be forced to eat like a rabbit? At that thought, I dropped down into a lower level of one of those rings of hell. Damn, to not have another juicy cheese hamburger, topped with all my favorite dressings, was almost more than I could bear.

From out of the corner of my eye I saw the other man bring a fancy stool from out of the corner of the room and set it down next to my bed. He sat on it, then reached out to draw the tray on the table closer to him. Curious, I watched as his soft-looking, long-tapered fingers moved to the platter of food and picked up a round disk that looked like some kind of flat bread. He tore off a piece of it and then used it to pick up a small portion of bright orange food that I thought was fruit. He then shocked the hell out of me when he brought it up to my mouth.

"What the hell?" I asked, drawing away from his hand. Mueller's eyes widened with alarm. "What are you doing?" I demanded.

"Serving you," he answered, appearing confused by my response.

"I can feed myself," I told him firmly. "I'm not a damn invalid."

"Duwan," the other man looked nervously behind his back as if he were fearful of someone overhearing our conversation. He lowered his voice to a whisper as he continued. "Have you perfectly forgotten your training as well? The Chosen, especially in the stages of preparation, are to be taken care of in every way. I've offered you your sustenance since you came to Mistra Hilda's abode. You must follow your training and comply with your contract or you will be punished." He lowered his voice further and added in a tone of fear, "Maybe even made a White."

Half of what he said didn't make any sense, but I knew somehow that it was important. The way he spoke of being made a White made it sound as if it was the worst thing that could happen to me. The blond man looked at me as if he really cared about what might happen to me, or rather Duwan, so I decided to be honest with him, at least as much as I dared to at that point.

"Listen, Mueller. You seem like a nice enough guy, but honestly, I don't understand any of this."

"Please," the man said looking anxious. "I am Purple. My contract is with Mistra Hildah and I'm subordinate to her and all Red and Blue and I do as I am told, just as you and all other Purples must. Do not ask me to violate my contract by not fulfilling my tasks. I have not been chosen yet and I need this placement. I was selected by Mistra Hildah and agreed to be your caretaker, to see to all your needs in your place as a Chosen. It is my honor and obligation to serve you as well as Mistra Hildah."

"You have to feed me?" I asked, not wanting to get him into trouble, but neither did I want to be treated like a helpless baby. Mueller nodded enthusiastically. "What else?"

"I fulfill your physical needs by feeding you sustenance, cleansing your body and preparing you for each cycle. I make certain your living space is properly maintained as well as your apparel. I deliver you to your engagements and make sure your emotional and physical needs are satisfied."

With each word he spoke my eyes widened with disbelief, and I'm pretty sure the horror I felt at his job description showed on my face. "Physical?" My voice actually hitched up a notch, like a prepubescent teenager. "We don't have sex do we?"

It was then the other man's expression mirrored my own. He hastily stood and stumbled back and away from the bed, bowing at the waist with his hands folded behind his back. "No!" he answered firmly. "I have contracted with Mistra Hildah to be your caretaker. As an Unchosen in our ranks it is required of me to serve Blue, Red and Purple in whatever task that I'm required to perform. To become intimately familiar with you, as your caretaker, would be a breach of the trust placed on me and would cause me to be stripped of my Purple, to become a White." He had that tone of horror in his voice again in speaking of that color rank. Then urgently, he pleaded, "Please, let me serve you your sustenance while it is still fresh."

Looking at the man bent in half, I tried to absorb the information he'd been giving me. I felt like I was just on the outside edge of understanding something fundamental about the world in which I was now living. I needed more information and decided that if Mueller was a permanent fixture in my life as my caregiver, then he was the man who was going to give it to me.

"Tell you what," I said, coming to a decision and watching as he straightened to face me once again. "I'll let you feed me if you'll tell me about the colors and what they mean. What's their purpose?"

The blond man frowned with obvious confusion, probably caused by my asking for information about something that was so fundamental to the people living on Erith. It was obvious by his dumbfounded expression that I needed to explain things to him. "As you know, something happened to me in the medicinal center," I began, wondering how I could possibly tell him what had happened to me without him checking me into a mental institution, if they had those kinds of places. I decided to be vague about my switch with Duwan until I could gage what his reaction might be. "I was sucked up into a... a swirling storm that was the result of an experiment. When I woke up, I found myself in the medicinal center, knowing nothing of this place or the people living here."

"I was told by Mistra Hildah your bands had been removed and that the heramones in your body were negated. Have you truly forgotten yourself and every thing pertaining to Erith?"

I quick nod my head answered to his question.

He gave me a returning nod and a slight smile. "I will speak to you of all the things that you desire and will instruct you on what you need to comprehend as I serve you your sustenance."

Long after the plate of strange yet delicious food had been consumed, Mueller sat on the service stool and answered my questions. The information session ended suddenly when a beeping sound came from the metal band on his wrist and it brought the blond promptly to his feet.

"We must bathe you for Mistra Hildah will arrive in one unit. She desires for you to present yourself soon after her arrival so she can be assured that you are well."

Because I was feeling a bit grimy, the thought of a bath was pretty enticing. "Sure, just show me the way," I said, brightening at the prospect of a good long soak in a tub of hot water to ease all of my aches and pains.

Mueller pulled back the blankets and took my elbow and help me as I eased my aching body out of the bed. Once I stood alongside the bed, gasping and wincing at the pain, he released my elbow and took my hand in his own cool and soft one. I didn't know what was going on, but I didn't like anyone being so presumptuous. I tried to wrench my hand out of his grasp. "Hey, what gives?" I asked as his hold on me held firmly.

"This is how it is done," he said simply.

"You have to hold my hand?" The idea seemed preposterous.

"Yes. I guide your steps to where you need to go, always. Come after me."

I had little choice but to follow behind him, wearing my sleeveless nightshirt and nothing else but a frown. I wondered and worried at the time just how hands-on this guy planned on getting with me. As we walked, I noticed I also wore thin metal ankle bracelets, one around each ankle. I supposed they were some form of identification like the collar and bands on my arms were, so I didn't bother asking about them. I just figured they went along with being a Chosen. Then looking down at Mueller's bare feet, I saw that he wore the metal ankle bracelets also, so I guessed that maybe they were just some kind of jewelry the people of Erith wore.

We entered a bright yellow tiled room that I figured was a bathroom, though it looked different than anything I was used to. It was empty, just a large, square box lined with tiles. The floor was surprisingly warm under my bare feet. Once the door slid silently shut behind us, Muller turned his head and gazed on a flat, rectangular and brushed-metallic plate and it beeped in response. The plate slid open to reveal a control panel. Though the man hadn't batted an eyelash, I noted several unrecognizable symbols lite up on a small gray screen, corresponding to small beeping sounds. At the sound of movement, I turned my head to see the floor shift and begin to split apart with the opening doors disappearing underneath the floor, revealing a large sunken bathtub big enough for several people. Immediately, water began flowing from small slits set around the white, porcelain-like sides, reminding me of Niagara Falls. Another series of beeps were heard and a portion of the wall to my left slid open, revealing a smaller, identically tiled room with something inside that looked oddly like a toilet.

"Do you need to eliminate your waste?" Mueller asked as casually as if he were asking me about the weather.

"Um, yeah," I answered, then noticed that there was a lack of a door and that my companion didn't look like he was going anywhere. "I've got a bit of a shy bladder. Do you mind?"

"Mind what?" The blond's head canted to the side in a pose of curiosity.

"Do you mind leaving the room so I can... you know, go?"

"I always stay with you, as stated in my contract," Mueller stated blandly, much to my frustration.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Now I was getting angry. Sure, it wasn't the guy's fault, but who the hell wrote his contract saying he had to stay with me while I used the facilities? What a crappy job! "If you tell me you plan on wiping my butt, I'm gonna clock you one," I warned, not kidding.

Maybe the other fellow wasn't as dense as I thought he was because he merely blinked at my tone of voice and put up his hands, seemingly ready to explain something. "Violence is forbidden and my cleansing of your posterior is unnecessary. If you will sit on the washaway and eliminate your waste, all you need to do is tell me and the chair will take care of any remaining residue and cleansing."

That got my curiosity up and running, replacing my indignation. I cautiously stepped into the little room, tiled ceiling to floor with the same yellow squares as the main bathing room. The seat that I thought of as a toilet seat was made from a brushed metal material, constructed in an odd shape from what I was used to. I quickly understood from its design and placement that I was to straddle it. The front end was curved up slightly - probably to catch an errant stream of urine - and the back was slightly wider and tilted up. It reminded me of some weird kind of metal saddle. The top, which was definitely meant for sitting on, was rounded for comfort. I hitched up my nightshirt, just enough to sit, and straddled the thing. I immediately noticed two things: the toilet seat was warm and the water within the bowl began to swirl.

Looking over my shoulder, I noticed Mueller behind me, watching me from a distance. "Turn around, man, and give me some privacy," I snapped, almost feeling bad about it when the blond jumped to do as I asked.

It was difficult to do what needed to be done with the other man present. Even living with Heero I'd always used the toilet in private. It was one of my quirks, I suppose. Despite Mueller's close presence, need took over shyness and I relieved myself and finished as quickly as I could. With a curious glance, I looked around for the toilet paper. Not seeing any, I hesitantly called out to the other man. "Hey, Mueller. Where's the toilet paper?"

"Are you asking to cleanse yourself?" the other man asked, looking confused.

"Ah... yeah."

"Push the placard to the right of you." I was glad to see the other man wasn't standing there watching me but was focused on setting some odd-shaped bottles around the large bathtub filling with water. I looked to my right to see the outline of a circle within the square tiles. I pushed it, expecting a roll of toilet paper to pop out of some hidden compartment. Instead, the front and back of the toilet seat shifted and actually seemed to stretch as it closed around my lower body. An instant after it stopped, a spray of warm water softly shot up from the bottom of the basin. I almost jumped off the seat at the unexpected method of cleansing, but the portion of the seat that had conformed to me, keeping the water spray contained, kept me from doing anything other than waiting for it to stop. After a moment, the water stopped abruptly and a warm burst of air dried the area just cleaned. It was the most unusual sensation I've ever felt. I remember thinking that this system would be a great way to save millions of trees from being turned into toilet paper. Maybe, if I ever got back to my world, I would invent something similar to it, and I'd make a fortune and probably win a Nobel Peace Prize for singlehandedly saving the environment by eliminating the need for toilet paper. As the seat retracted, all I could say to express my thoughts about it was, "Cool."

No sooner had I stepped away from the waste elimination unit, or the washaway, as Mueller labeled it, my hand was taken and I was led to the sunken bathtub. The blond man began to take off my nightshirt, and when I protested, trying valiantly to push it back down and cover myself, he reminded me that it was in his contract to dress and undress me and to see to my physical needs by cleansing me.

"All right," I told him, aggravated. "Just don't look. This is pretty weird for me."

"It's not like you've got anything that I haven't witnessed before," Mueller said with a slight annoying grin on his face that stayed there until his face disappeared when he pulled the garment over my head. I heard his startled gasp and tuned my head to see a look of revulsion on his face.

"Wh... what has befallen your body?" he asked. "These markings were not apparent before and you have... body hair."

I blinked at that last statement. "Yeah, well... what about it?" And to myself I added, doesn't everyone? I then realized that he was probably reacting to the deep bruises I'd gotten within the vortex. But then he ran his fingertips over a few of the scars on my shoulders and arms that I'd gotten when I was young, living on the streets and during the war. I flinched at his touch; those scars were personal. "Did being caught up in the strange storm do this to you?"

I shrugged and shied away from his questing fingers. "I guess you could say that." I wasn't sure what kind of explanation to give him, realizing the truth would probably sound... ludicrous. I mean, who would believe me if I told them I was sucked into their reality from another world, replacing one of their own people? That thought led me to another, startling a new line of thought. If I was here, replacing Duwan, then where was he? Was he on Earth in my place, with my lover and friends? If he was, I wondered how long it would take them to figure out what had happened, that the apparently spoiled and pampered Duwan was not me. I chuckled to myself thinking about how the guys would react to my counterpart. Well, maybe Duwan was a nice guy, I told myself, giving the fella the benefit of a doubt. He was probably malleable, obedient, maybe even eager to please. Then a dark thought struck me that maybe Heero and the guys might like Duwan better than me. Wouldn't that be a kick in the shorts.

A finger tracing the scar I'd gotten on a Preventers' assignment brought me back from my troubled thoughts. Without thinking I said, "It's a scar made by a bullet hole, from my job," I explained to him. Mueller looked up at me in response to words that were obviously foreign to him. "Never mind." I waved him off.

"Mistra Hildah will be displeased," Mueller said, frowning deeply as he gazed at my imperfect body.

"I'll explain them to her, all right?" At least I hope I can, I said to myself. I could see my caregiver was worried by his furrowed eyebrows and the slight crease between his eyes. No doubt the pampered, cosseted Duwan had a perfect, unblemished body, I thought jealously. I just hoped I could come up with a good reason to explain my old scars on my not-so-perfect body. I thought I could blame just about everything on the vortex, which, honestly, seemed to be the only viable explanation to the differences between me and Duwan.

My hand was taken again and I was led to the edge of the sunken tub. Mueller looked once more at the panel on the wall, and after another beep sounded, the gushing flow of water stopped abruptly.

Beneath the water's surface I could see there were three tiled steps. I was led to step down them and instructed to sit on the bottom one, bringing the water up to an inch from the top of my shoulders. The water covering my body was very warm, just the way I liked it, yet its texture against my skin was slightly different than what I associated with bath water, it was softer somehow, maybe even a bit oily.

I took a moment to close my eyes and enjoy the comforting warmth surrounding my aching body. I had plenty to worry and stress about, but at the moment I just wanted to relax and forget that I was in a strange world where I didn't know the rules yet. Damn, I wondered how I ever got myself into these things. I could almost hear Heero's voice speaking to me, with a hint of affection in his voice and a crooked grin on his face. "Only you could manage this, baka."

TBC


	7. 7 Rub a dub dub, two men in a tub

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Deisre  
Part 7 - Rub a Dub Dub, Two Men in a Tub**

My moment of bliss, spent thoroughly enjoying the hot water in the enormous sunken bathtub, came to an abrupt end when a pair of bare legs settled against my upper arms. I whipped my head around and was shocked to find Mueller sitting on the step behind me... completely naked. "What the hell is this?" I yelled, flinging myself away from him and into the opposite end of the mini pool. I turned around, purposely staying under the water in a crouched position with my eyes narrowed and pinned on the man sitting unabashedly naked on the second step, the water lapping at his trim and pale skinned waist.

"I am attempting to bathe you," Mueller answered, once again looking confused by my behavior. "My task will be difficult to accomplish with you over there."

"Listen," I began, out of patience. "I'm a grown man and I know how to take a damn bath all by myself."

The blond just blinked at me, apparently not comprehending. "I have bathed you daily since your arrival eight turns ago. Why would you not trust me to cleanse your body now?"

I covered my face with my hands and vigorously rubbed at it, trying to wake myself up from the persistent nightmare that never seemed to end. Where were those damn ruby slippers when you needed them? I asked myself, remembering something from an ancient movie about clicking the heels of ruby shoes in order to go home. And believe me, I really did want to go home, to Heero, to the familiar and to my friends.

Reluctantly opening my eyes I could see the other man holding his hand out to me. "Come, Duwan," he beckoned, endlessly patient. "You are once again discomposed and I am at a loss to fully understand why that is so. Let me cleanse your hair. It always makes you feel more at ease and joyful."

The offer to have someone wash my hair just happens to be one of my weaknesses, and with the way my body ached I realized it would be the sensible thing to do in accepting the offer, especially in light of the growing itch that had begun on my scalp that reminded me how dirty it and my hair was. Besides, who knew what I picked up in the vortex? Keeping as much of myself under the water as possible, I moved back towards the naked man, averting my eyes as I approached my original place on the lower stair. I quickly turned and sat down again, resigning myself to having someone other than me or Heero grooming my hair. I silently scolded myself for giving in so easily, but rationalized my capitulation to the fact that I was just too sore and wrung out emotionally to do a proper job of washing the mass of hair myself.

Mueller proved to have a gentle almost magical touch and I found myself hard pressed to keep my eyes open as warm shampoo was gently worked into my scalp. It smelled of something exotic and floral, and the enticing scent filled the air around us. In order to stay alert to my surroundings and not cause a scene by unintentionally dozing off under the gentle administrations, I began to talk. I figured that with the way my luck was going I'd probably nod off and fall backwards, causing my weary head to fall between the legs of the naked guy behind me. How embarrassing would that be?

"All right, let's see if I've got this right," I began, my eyes closing. I intended to restate everything I'd learned from my caretaker as he'd fed me my meal earlier, reinforcing it in my mind. "There are six color levels in the order of Erith, each one having different tasks to perform."

"That is correct," Mueller said, massaging my scalp in a damn wonderful way.

"The top level is Blue, and those within that color are highborn. Blue governs Erith. One can only become Blue by having been born to it and by being female. Next comes Red," I continued. "This color serves Blue in a supporting role as Blue governs Erith, right?"

"Your words confuse me, Duwan, but yes, I believe you are saying the meaning correctly."

Sadly, I perfectly understood his confusion. He wasn't the only one confused. I was struggling to understand just what he meant most of the time but, somehow, I found that the more he talked the easier it was getting to figure it out. I continued on with my understanding of Red, starting where I left off. "Red is comprised of both males and females. It is the highest color rank a male citizen can attain."

"Ci-ta-zen?" Mueller slowly parroted the word back to me. "I believe you intended to say civvie," the other man corrected me while his gentle fingers combed through my hair working out any knotted strands they came upon, and believe me, they came upon plenty. Still, it felt heavenly to have someone's fingers in my hair and massaging my scalp. I pretty much melted under his soothing touch. A spray of warm water began to shower down on my head and I tilted my chin up to keep the soap from getting into my eyes.

"Purple," I continued, "are the color rank from which the Chosen are selected. Their purpose is to serve those of Blue and Red who require and contract their services. Those Purple not selected to be a Chosen serve not only the upper colors, but also those within Purple who have been selected and... contracted."

"Correct."

"I still don't think I get it," I confessed to the man behind me, then yawned. Even though I'd had plenty of sleep already, I felt sleepy from the combination of warm water and the head massage. "Blue, Red and Purple represent the three upper colors of your society. The other half, considered the lower colors, are Yellow, Green and White. The Green have the white collar jobs while Yellow and White do the manual labor, the blue color work."

"What was that?" Mueller's fingers stopped moving. "I believe you have misspoken. Green do not perform as White, and White and Yellow do not lead as Blues."

I had to think about what he'd just said for a couple of long moments before I realized that, of course, he didn't know the earth terms for white and blue collar workers. I tilted my head back further to look up into his face. "By white collar I mean people who work in offices, they own businesses. Yellow, as you explained to me, are those who do the grunt work, the manual labor."

"Ah," the blond said, giving a nod of his head that he understood, but the dazed look in his eyes showed me that he really didn't.

"Now Whites," I continued with my understanding of the colors, "being the lowest of colors, are frowned upon and have very few rights."

"No... entitlements," Mueller nodded, and I guessed that I was the word they used here.

"They do the lowest, most demeaning work on Erith and in Sangor. Whites are entirely dependent on the upper colors' mercy and charity for their food and shelter."

Mueller interrupted me again to add, "Whites are reputedly lazy and corruptive, but they can become productive civvies by being utilized by Yellow or Green. They have no opportunity to rise in color nor to return to their former color. Whites are either born within that color rank or they are those civvies of the upper colors that choose to break the Order of Erith or their contracts. Those oath breakers have their true colors stripped from them and they become White."

"Poor bastards," I muttered darkly. "If this society doesn't believe they have any worth, they'll probably live to fulfill that fate. Either that or rise up and rebel."

Ignoring my statement, the blond man continued. "You needn't chafe over the Whites, Duwan, for you have no occasion to come into contact with them. The upper colors interact primarily with each other, though Yellow and Green serve us also. We, as Purple, are cared for by our Choosers and Contractors, and we serve only our superiors or those of our own color, not the lower three."

"Why?" I asked, still not grasping this type of caste system.

"Because we are Chosen and potential Chosen."

"But what exactly does that mean?"

The man behind me sighed, but remained patient as he answered me. "Mistra Hildah's occupation is that of being a Seeker. Do you recall this?"

I shook my head, being perfectly honest.

"She locates and matches Choosers with potential Chosen. As an illustration, I remind you of Mistra Relna, a Highborn Blue. She enlisted Mistra Hildah's services and provided her with a list of attributes she desired in a Chosen. After searching Purples' registry for suitable candidates, our Mistra selected three from which Mistra Relna met and then chose Herron. Together, they will produce offspring of which the females will become Blue when they are born and the male progeny will become a dark Purple and await the day he will become a Chosen."

"This is what I don't understand," I told him. I just couldn't wrap my mind around everything I was being told. "Could you explain to me why the females are given royal status and the males become Purple? And where do the Reds come from again?"

"Our society is Matriarchal, ruled solely by Blue, females all," Mueller replied, speaking slowly. "Red males are the progeny of a Blue and Red creating a male child together without a Chosen's seedlings involved. When Reds contract with Purple, the female progeny of that union become Red, the males Purple."

My mind was spinning trying to figure out that bit of information, but I think I got it, kind of. I glanced back at him only to have Mueller focus more intently on what he was doing, washing my hair. I got an odd feeling just then that he was leaving something out of his explanation. Then again it could just be the way he explained it that had me feeling a bit lost. I decided to go on to the next subject. "So women rule this world entirely? How did that happen?" I wasn't against women in power, but the fact that only women could rule seemed odd. Frankly, this whole system seem unbelievably strange to me. I really didn't have anything to compare it to other than reading about the caste system in the ancient Central American societies and in parts of old India.

"Almost four centonese ago, the highborn males were the predominant rulers of Erith, each autonomous of each other. Their differing ruling systems were constantly out of harmony with each other and brought about conflict and violent confrontations in order to solve their differences. These confrontations resulted in ending the lives of millions of Erithians. As the conflicts raged they escalated towards the total annihilation of all peoples of Erith. The females, who had been left behind to keep stable their abodes, took over the ruling occupations left behind by their warring males. Soon they rose within the governing bodies of their individual sectors and those older males, unable to battle and having been left behind as caretakers of the order and whose ways and thoughts followed those of their progenitors, were either killed outright or under questionable circumstances. Their female counterparts, their mates, birth givers and female offspring, came into power. They collaborated with females in other sectors and together they brought about an end to the deadly fighting. They set their ambitions towards reconfiguring our civilization into the Primary System that we have today. Since the majority of the male population perished in the fighting, the females re-ordered our society in such a way that they could govern the masses in an orderly fashion. The ranks of color were conceived and the surviving population of Erith was assigned into three colors: Blue for the reigning leaders of Erith and their progeny; Red, their auxiliary aids; and Yellow, the workers that produced all the material needs for Erith's civvies. Purple and Green came about much later as Erith changed and needs unfolded with Whites appearing after that as groups of dissenters and contract breakers were revealed."

"Did they eliminate all violent conflicts with this color system?" I asked, intrigued by the idea.

"Yes. Virtually no violent confrontations have occurred on Erith since that last great and destructive disagreement." Warm water was suddenly falling on the top of my head again and I turned slightly to see Mueller holding a hand unit that appeared to come out of the top edge of the tub. It pulsated streams of deliciously warm water and felt wonderful.

"So I'm a Purple, which means I'm the byproduct of a Purple and Red or a Blue and Purple?" I asked, my eyes closed as soap was rinsed from my hair and head.

"Your predecessors are a dark Red and mid-color Purple, giving you a higher shade of Purple than I."

"There's even a distinction of color within a color?"

"Did you not notice Herron's color is darker than yours, or that yours is darker than my own?" I had noticed it, but hadn't really thought about it. "Herron's color is darker in shade than ours because his progenitors were Blue and dark Purple. He comes from the sector of Japai and his darker Purple makes him an appropriate Chosen for Mistra Relna, a deep shade of Blue."

"So where are my parents?"

"Parents? Do you mean progenitors?"

"Ah, yeah, I guess so," I answered, bringing my fingertips up to my right temple and gingerly rubbing small circles on the tender area. The whole conversation was giving me a headache, trying to figure out the similar but different terms Muller was using.

"Once you are contracted as a Chosen you are no longer bound to your progenitors. You were raised a Purple and to be a Chosen. Being contracted as a Chosen you fulfill your true purpose, and your progenitors' obligation to you is fulfilled as well."

I had to chew on that for a few moments, and even as I did Mueller wrung out my hair and twisted it to rest on top of my head. If I understood him correctly, family ties were cut the moment a Purple contracted to become a Chosen. That just didn't seem right. I'd never had a family before, other than the gang on the streets of L2 and the kids at the orphanage

He continued speaking as soft cloth with a warm gel on it was pressed against my shoulder. "Mistra Hildah had word of you even before you were old enough to be presented for choosing. She did some preliminary research, finding you well-matched. And the init she saw your image, she knew you were to be her own Chosen. Her relations and good favor with Blue all but assured she would gain your attention before any other Reds or Blues were allowed to meet you or bid for your contract."

Some of what he was saying was very disturbing. "Are Purples slaves?" I was trying to figure out what my role was in this strange world.

"Slaves." The blond sounded confused and I jumped, slightly startled, as his hand, covered with the soaped cloth moved under the water to cross over my stomach. "Unpaid labor. Owned."

The blond's forehead wrinkled as he struggled to understand. Then his eyes widened with understanding. "No, not uncompensated nor possessed, but contracted," he said firmly, and still I couldn't figure out what the hell he meant. He stopped speaking for a while as he washed my back, hands and arms and then moved to the side of me in order to reach my legs. I can't even tell you how weird that was, having someone lift your legs and meticulously wash them. With my hands in my lap, providing some covering and protection, I grit my teeth together in order to not yell at him to stop, knowing he was only doing what he'd been contracted to do.

The water was now a small sea of foam and floating soap scum as he moved toward what I considered the untouchable regions of my body, at least for him. I abruptly grabbed the cloth from his encroaching hand and gave him a vicious glare. "Don't even think about it, buddy" I snarled in warning. Then turning slightly, I took care of the rest of my bath.

After I finished, he took my hand and stood, pulling me up with him. "Come, stand on the drying cloth and I will remove the water from off your body. And yes," he said firmly, anticipating my next question. "I have to do this. It is part of my contract to care for you in all ways."

I bit my lip again, embarrassed once more as Mueller used small squares of an extremely soft and absorbent material to pat the dampness from almost every inch of my skin. He then meticulously worked to dry my hair as I stood stark naked before him. I ground my teeth together, cursing the man's thoroughness and wondering if he was ever going to finish. Just as that thought came to me, he straightened and looked me in the eye as he took my hand. "Come," he told me.

I was led out of the bathing room, back into the bedroom. Mueller left me standing in the middle of the floor watching him as he moved towards a seemingly blank wall. As he approached it, a door I hadn't previously seen slid open and revealed a large closet. I groaned at seeing that the space was filled with clothing, all in the same purple color as my arm band. Mueller selected several items and then moved to open a drawer inside the alcove and pulled something out of it. He straightened and turned to me with a warm smile on his face, but said not a word as he set the clothing on the end of the bed. I blushed as the naked man walked towards me with a very small article of clothing in his hand and knelt in front of me. Thankfully he kept his eyes averted from my groin. I didn't know if I had the patience to deal with him staring at me.

"Lift your foot and we'll put on your supportive garment." He spread the so-called supportive garment open with his hands and held it in readiness.

In shock, I complied automatically and put my left foot into the circle, and then did the same the other. I stood rigid as he pulled it up my legs and set the minuscule piece of material in place.

Standing at my side, Mueller looked at my face, probably seeing my coloring had turned several shades of red that was darker than normal. "You are not pleased?" he asked.

"Real men don't wear thongs," I told him through gritted teeth.

"Are you referring to your support garment?" he asked innocently.

"Of course I am!" I snapped back. I hooked my thumb into the piece of cloth held up by two elastic strings that rested high on my hip and pulled it out. "This is a woman's undergarment," I told him indignantly.

"This garment is worn by both males and females, with allowances for their differences.

"Everyone wears this?" I swallowed nervously. If that was true, then I figured I was doomed to wear the damned uncomfortable underwear, with the piece of irritating material perpetually stuck firmly between my butt cheeks. How many rings of hell are there?

"Yes."

I groaned at his answer.

"I don't understand," Mueller said, perplexed once again. "You've always worn this type of garment without stating any dissatisfaction."

"We'll maybe the vortex changed me a lot more than you think it did," I snapped back.

The blond looked at me with an expression that became more and more alarmed with each passing moment. His eyes moved up and down my body and made me feel uncomfortable, considering my state of undress. "You are changed, more than just your outward appearance," he said thoughtfully.

"And more than you can imagine," I replied, but stopped short of going further, not knowing what the consequences would be if it was found out that I was from another world.

"Are you not Duwan," he said, dropping all pretense of being the dutiful servant.

I cleared my throat nervously and closely studied his face before deciding whether or not I should tell him the truth. I could deny it, of course, but he was evidently in close contact with me all the time. It was clear that I couldn't pull the wool over his eyes, especially in light of the fact that he'd already guessed that I wasn't Duwan. "I'm called Duo," I confessed quietly. "I think your Duwan and I traded places in the storm, as you call it. If I'm right, he's in my world, which is in another place and maybe even another time."

A look of deeper intelligence that I'd not seen before entered Mueller's eyes. I could see that he accepted my answer, which surprised me. He leaned forward to whisper into my ear, causing me to lean my body away from his close proximity in order to keep him from touching my exposed flesh.

"If what you say is true," he began, his voice very low, "then you must be a good pretender. Mistra Hildah expended a prestigious sum in order to make a contract with Duwan. If you are indeed his duplicate from another place and have traded lives with him, you will be expected to live up to his contract or your color will be stripped from you. You will become an outcast, a White. Do you fully understand what that means?"

I blinked at the sudden change in the man and at his warning. I knew from our earlier conversation that White was the bottom of this society, the outcasts. I'd been an outcast before on L2 and thought that I could survive it if I had to. Before I could answer, the blond continued.

"You will be without rank, without entitlements or protection. You will also find yourself at the lower end of White's hierarchy, at the mercy of the lowest of the low, a desperate and dishonorable people. You would be used and abused, neglected and discarded, mostly by those of the White bands who know little of compassion or decency."

His words shook me to the core. Having been at the lower dregs of L2's society as a child and miraculously escaping it, I vowed to never find myself in those circumstances again. If I understood Mueller right, to be stripped of my color in this world basically meant being sentenced to a life time of cruelty, ending only in a horrible death.

"Mistra Hildah was proud and exultant in securing Duwan as her Chosen, and he was well on his way to completing his contract to her. She has taken good care of him and will continue to do so for you. Should he return one day, if you exchange places once again, you would not want the responsibility for his being stripped of his color and set in a place where he would be unable to survive, would you?"

He stepped back to look at me and I answered with a shake of my head, trying to imagine the pampered person Duwan had to be with all the care that he'd been given. What would happen if he were placed in a purported cesspool of criminals, as the Whites were said to be? Then the rest of what Mueller had spoken of came rushing back to my mind.

What if we switched places again?

A flicker of hope lit in my heart. I knew that if I were in Heero's place and he'd disappeared on me, I'd do everything in my power to bring him back, even if we were having problems, even if I thought he was dead. I'd have the scientists recreate the failed experiment and figure out a way to bring him back. But then I wondered if my line of thinking was based on my desire to return home. If Heero was cheating on me, would this be an easy way to end our relationship so that he and Trowa could be together? I mentally shook my head at that. My last image of Heero, of his calling out my name with an anguished look on his face, made me think that he still cared deeply for me. I just hoped he would be able to tell the difference between Duwan and myself, that is if Duwan had taken my place as I had taken his.

"What's Duwan like?" I asked, curious about my counterpart.

Mueller's face softened and a gentle smile graced his lips, showing he had real affection for Duwan. "My Task is kind and thoughtful, compassionate in many ways though naive and indulged. He is duty bound even though he felt fearful of fulfilling the contract with Mistra HIldah."

"He was afraid of her?" I wondered.

"Mistra Hildah has been firm with Duwan. He was trained a Purple, but he balked at some of the demands put on him though he fully intends to fulfill his contract."

"Which is?" Finally, I was about to find out what this whole business was about.

"To aid Mistra Hildah in bringing her progeny to life and to continue the Red and Purple legacies."

I felt a lump in my throat the size of a bowling ball and I couldn't seem to swallow it. My voice came out a squawk when I managed to ask, "We're a couple? Are we married?"

"You're contracted," Mueller corrected me, frowning at my foreign words.

"Is there such a thing as marriage in your world?"

"I do not know that word," the blond replied.

"It's when two people are willingly and legally joined together by a priest or some kind of judge or justice of the peace and they live happily ever after." I knew my answer was pretty lame, but my mind was somewhat scrambled at that moment.

Mueller's frown deepened, no doubt trying to process what I was saying. "What you describe sounds like a contract to me. Mistra HIldah found and selected Duwan, offered him a contract with many rewards for his service and he agreed. The contract was witnessed by Relna and given her approval. Duwan then came here to live in Mistra Hildah's abode, under her care and protection. Duwan contracted to give her two progeny and you, or rather, Duwan, was in the process of taking the heramones to prepare for that time."

Whatever the other man had to say after that was pretty much lost on me. I was married to Hildah the Red in this world. I was supposed to have sex with the person who looked like my good female and very platonic friend and get her pregnant with two babies. Frankly, I was horrified by the idea. I'd never thought of Hilde as anything other than a friend, not to mention that I'd only had sex with Heero. I was stumped as to how in the hell I was going to be able to successfully pull off this contract. I put my hand to my head as the headache I'd had for a while intensified.

"You appear well-worn," Mueller said in a concerned tone of voice. "I will clothe you shortly before your appearance before Mistrah Hildah. Rest now while I straighten your resting and bathing space."

I closed my eyes, wishing more than anything that when I opened them I'd be back on Earth and in my life. As usual, my wishes weren't granted. Mueller led me by the hand to the bed and tucked me under the thick coverlet. The sheets felt soft and smooth against my skin. It was odd, I thought, to have someone being so solicitous of me, not that Heero didn't ever do that because he did, not usually to this extent. I laid there with disjointed thoughts bouncing around my head, feeling sleepy and more comfortable than I'd been since my arrival in Erith. I could hear the other man moving quietly about the room and after a while I slipped into a restless doze. The conversation I had with Mueller regarding Erith, the color ranks and Duwan's contract with Mistra Hildah repeated over and over in my mind, conjuring up all kinds of nightmares and kept me from having any kind of meaningful rest.

TBC

**Author's hint**. I hope that wasn't too confusing. Don't be fooled about Duo's assumptions about his relationship with Hildah - remember the posted pairings. Duo is still trying to guess at how things work on Erith and his relationship with Hildah is not quite what he imagines it to be.


	8. 8 Dinner and a Movie

**Bane's Desire  
Through the Vortex  
Part 8 - Dinner and a Movie**

I wasn't sure how long I'd been dozing before I became aware of the familiar sensation of my feet being gently massaged. "Ooh, Heero," I moaned. "That feels really good, don't stop."

"I am Mueller." A voice different from what I'd expected answered my request curtly and my memory came rushing back, reminding me where I was. I looked up from my pillow to see the blond man who was my so-called caretaker sitting on his stool while his fingers worked magic over my feet. He didn't look very happy about my mistake.

"Sorry," I apologized, even as I dealt with the disappointment of waking up and not finding that it was Heero rubbing my feet.

"Mistra Hildah has returned and is refreshing herself. You will meet with her shortly. If indeed you are not Duwan, then a tutorial is necessary for you to be successful in assuming his part."

"Okay," I answered with a grunt while removing my feet from Mueller's hands and forcing myself to sit up.

"Does that word express your permission?" he asked.

"Yeah, it does. Where do we begin?"

The blond nodded then began his instructions. I listened to his words, though a bit uncomfortable at being clothed in only a G-string under the blankets. I figured he'd seen me naked while he bathed me, so I got over it pretty fast. "Always address those of Blue and Red as Mistrah or Mistor," he began. "When greeting your Chooser or anyone of higher rank than yourself, step an arm's length from that higher born and bow your head for a moment to show respect. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I answered, then gingerly climbed out of the bed, dragging the purple sheet with me to cover my near naked state. I stood in front of Mueller, dressed in a pale lilac-colored tunic and pants, and performed the action he'd spoken of. "Like this?" I asked, bowing my head.

"Yes, very appealing," Mueller replied with a pleased smile. "If you seek a favor from those of a higher rank, you must bow from the waist. " I nodded my head that I was following him, and then he continued.

"If Mistra Hildah is seated, you must make your bow from a level lower than her position by kneeling. After you show your respect, you must wait for her to direct your next action. If she tells you that you are at liberty, you have permission to move about the room freely, sit where you may and converse with others. You must never approach those of a higher color rank than yourself, they must approach and speak to you first before any interaction can take place."

I nodded. I could do this.

"If she speaks with you and then dismisses you, you are to return to your resting space."

"I thought you said I wasn't a slave. It sure sounds like one to me," I said, unhappy that my place in Hildah's life seemed to be equal to that of a piece of furniture. "This doesn't sound like much of a marriage to me or a contract made in heaven," I grumbled.

Mueller looked confused, and I was beginning to wonder if it was his normal expression. "This is how we comport ourselves in Sangor," he said. "And Duwan was trained from his youth to behave properly, to accept his place as Purple and as a contracted Chosen."

"Was Duwan ever rebellious?" I asked, knowing I could and probably would be in the future. It was kind of inevitable for me to not conform when faced with strict rules and authority figures. I hoped that my double had at least some backbone. "Did he ever disobey?

Mueller suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Being contracted sometimes chaffed at Duwan's carefree persona. Standard methods of correction are applied if a Chosen or Contracted individual's behavior is less than acceptable." Mueller then reached out and touched the collar that fit snugly around my neck. "This is the band of correction. It is not pleasant. Duwan has been punished octa or more times since his arrival here. Mistra Hildah usually gives him tu warnings until it is applied as punishment. I understand you received un warning at the Center for your misbehavior."

"Octa?" I asked.

He held up his hands and wiggled eight fingers telling me that octa meant eight.

"All right. Um... is it very painful, this correction?" Better to be ready for anything, I thought.

"It is." Mueller's voice was quiet as he answered. He pointed to his own neck and a band of metal I could only assume was a duplicate to my own. "I was contracted by our Mistra to care for you, so I too wear the corrective band. I have not done anything to have caused myself to be corrected so I do not know for myself of the pain inflicted. I can relate to you that moisture leaked from Duwan's eyes, that he wept with considerable discomfort and that he was bed bound for a full cycle after he had been corrected. He has learned from past punishments to avoid distressing Mistra Hildah, even when his mood is dark and contrary."

Mueller suddenly broke off of what he was saying and looked at the silver band on his arm. "Our time is near an end. I must prepare you and present you to her," the blond said, then looked into my eyes with a meaningful look. "Be respectful, mind your speech and restrict your responses. Your words are strange as is your usage of them and will ultimately reveal you. If you must speak, limit what you say. Just do as your Chosen requests and you should fair well enough."

He then moved to the end of the bed, to the clothing that he'd set there earlier. He dressed me with an ease that comes from a great deal of practice. Duwan must have been my exact size as the deep violet clothing fit perfectly, the material the softest I've ever felt and clingy without being indecent. Unfortunately, the style was more feminine than I was comfortable with. At that point I could only guess that men and women dressed in a similar manner, for I was wearing a uni-sex, sleeveless tunic, much like that of the other people I'd met, that fell from my shoulders to the top of my thighs and was belted at the waist. The pants, made of the same light material and exact shade of color, felt more like pajama bottoms than clothing. In fact, the whole outfit smacked of... leisure wear, something so foreign to my sense of style not to mention my closet. The snug-fitting clothing was soft and unbelievably comfortable. It felt like satin but lighter in weight.

"Are the bands on our arms the reason we wear sleeveless shirts?" I asked.

"Yes," Mueller replied, pointing to his own right arm where he wore a solid, thin-striped purple band that encircled it. "Our bands tell others of our status."

I mentally cringed at the distinction of status, the separation of people by a band of color. But as I thought about it I realized that even in my world there were social classifications as well, though they weren't made obvious by tattoos but by many economic and social distinctions as well as other factors. I thought that maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge this system when my own world was plagued by wars and terrorists, greed and prejudice.

I turned my thoughts to Hildah and my upcoming meeting with her. I was guessing that we were more or less married, and that might just prove to be a bit of a problem. I looked up at Mueller, swallowed my nervousness and asked the question that was plaguing me. "Will I have to sleep with her? "

"Sleep with her?" Mueller asked, unsure of my wording. "She has her own quarters and this is your resting room,"

"Do I ever spend with night in either room with her? You know, become intimate?" I was trying to think of a simpler, roundabout way to find out what I needed to know.

"Not with Mistra Hildah," Mueller replied, looked shocked. Then that expression softened into one of humor and he chuckled, as if the idea of Mistra Hildah and I getting it on was highly amusing. Hum, then I wondered if there was someone else I shared a bed with.

"Someone else?" At least I knew from our earlier conversation that it wasn't Mueller.

"You are frequently granted a stay-over visit with one of your familiars. Mistra Hildah is considerably tolerant of granting you a bed guest when you express a desire to enjoy their company."

"Bed guest? Does that mean Duwan has a lover?"

Mueller's eyebrows came together in thought. "Familiars," he said, correcting my choice of words.

"Familiars?" I echoed his answer, then realized what that meant, that he was speaking in plurals. "You mean he has more than one?"

A beeping sound from the wristband Mueller wore ended the illuminating conversation.

"We have no time to properly arrange your hair. You will have to wear it down," Mueller said as he grabbed a brush out from a hidden drawer in the wall next to the bed and quickly dragged the bristles through my long hair. He deliberately pulled a third of my hair over each shoulder and left the last part to cover my back. I realized he was trying to hide my flawed body. When he was satisfied with the arrangement, he grabbed my hand and led me towards the door I hadn't been out of yet.

"Be mindful not to dally with your hair. Mistra Hildah does not approve of Duwan displaying such behavior of which he has previously been punished for."

I nodded that I understood as he led me down an unfamiliar hallway of a home that was now the place where I lived. Even as I took in my surroundings, my mind still lingered on the conversation about familiars.

I noted as we walked that the walls of the hallway were painted a deep Red with pictures artistically placed upon them. Some were of oddly colored landscapes and others depicted men and women posed and bare-ass naked. All of the pictures were framed in silver. The hallway was lit by sconces set between the pictures. They kind of looked like the underside of a woman's breast. With wide eyes I silently followed my caretaker through the home, wondering, and not for the first time, what the hell had I gotten myself into. I re-hashed the information I'd acquired that afternoon. I was married to Hildah, or the equivalent of marriage. I was contracted to help her get pregnant not once, but twice. Hell's bells! How was I going to do that when I'm gay and have no interest in having sex with a woman? It was bound to be obvious that I didn't know all that much about the female body, and, thinking along the lines of sex, who the hell were these bed guests? My familiars? I was guessing that Herron was probably one of Duwan's familiars just by the way he'd kissed me. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that.

At the end of the hall we turned the corner and I found myself looking at a large room that surprisingly deviated from the red theme of the hallway. The walls in that room were appealing, covered with a landscaped fresco of a beautiful countryside. The blue grass on the rolling hills, the bright purple and pink leaves of the trees and various colors of flowers gave the scene before me an unsettled feeling of wrongness. It was odd, those unnatural colors, but beautiful nonetheless. I dragged my eyes away from studying the fresco to note that there were two red lounging sofas and several circular side chairs in the room as well as various tables that were topped with vases filled with vibrant, oddly-colored flowers. In the room's corners were tall, leafy plants, but instead of being green they were blue, yellow and orange in color.

My friend Hilde's duplicate was lounging on one of the sofas that looked like a lazy chaise lounge. She sat up slightly at our entrance and I could see she was wearing something different from what I'd seen her in earlier. She wore a long, loose gown of deep red and my eyes widened with shock when I realized the material was transparent. Mueller led me around several tables and chairs to stand in front of her and I felt him give my hand a squeeze, signaling me to start acting. I knelt to bring myself under her line of sight and declined my head to her, purposely looking away from her naked body barely concealed under the sheer red material. Mueller released my hand, then stepped back, turned and promptly walked away. I immediately missed his presence and more than I thought possible.

"Duwan," Hildah's voice, so similar to Hilde's, called to me.

I looked up to her face to see a warm, caring smile greeting me.

"Come, join me." She moved from her comfortable position to lie down, then shifted back slightly to make room and patted the spot in front of her stomach.

Reluctantly, I moved forward. Mueller's warning was still fresh in my mind to do exactly as I was told. I sat on the edge of the sofa and stiffly moved to lay down in front of her, my back against her chest. The woman, so similar to Hilde in appearance yet was so unlike the girl I'd known for years, put her arm around me and held me firmly against her unbound, barely covered breasts.

"I was frightened for you, Duwan," she whispered in my ear, her warm breath ghosting across my cheek. "When I received word of you being taken up into a mysterious storm only to be spat out insensible and bandless, I feared the worst. How fortunate I am that you are here, where you belong. I am grateful."

I felt a soft and tender kiss placed upon my jaw, then felt the woman holding me stiffen. "You have husk on your chin," she declared in an unhappy tone. I watched as she lifted her right wrist, bearing a silver-looking bracelet, and a small pin-sized dot of light blinked before she lowered it again. A moment later, Mueller reappeared. He immediately knelt in the place I'd been moments before, his head bowed.

"Yes, Mistra Hildah," he said, remaining in his respectful pose.

"Duwan has husk on his face."

Mueller's head rose and his eyes widened at that information and I wondered at his look of surprise. Like every other man, I produced stubble on a daily basis, though mine usually took several days. I've endured constant teasing from my friends about my minimal amount of body hair and beard. They joke that because I have more than my fair share of hair growing on my head it must have somehow taken away my body's ability to grow it elsewhere. Frankly, their teasing is more like the pot calling the kettle black. Only Trowa had any decent amount of chest hair, and he not above boasting about it either.

"S..something must have occurred to his former s..s..tate in the storm, Mistra," the blond man stammered nervously. "Just as the bands and heramones disappeared. He's also no longer mindful of many things and has unexplained marks on his body as well. The storm appears to have returned Duwan back to a natural state."

"Sit up, Duwan," Hildah ordered firmly, her arms letting me go. I did as I was told and felt her moving from behind me as well. "Stand."

I did so and caught a glance of warning from Mueller to keep quiet as Hildah moved around me. I lowered my eyes to the ground to keep from blushing further at the sight of her naked body clearly displayed under the sheer red gown as she passed by my line of sight.

"Take off his apparel. I wish to see these marks," she ordered. I immediately stiffened with discomfort at the idea of being disrobed in front of her. Mueller reacted immediately while giving me yet another glance of warning to behave. I stood still as he began to remove my shirt and then lowered my pants. I didn't know if this world had any deity they followed, but I prayed for all I was worth that the flimsy excuse of an undergarment I wore would remain in place. Once my clothing was draped over the blond man's arm - thankfully my little triangle of cloth was still in place - I felt myself grow red with humiliation as the two people before me began to make a careful study of my entire body. They made a visual and vocal inventory of every imperfection on my skin, most of them the scars I'd garnered on the hellish streets of L-2 and during the war. I'd worn most of those scars as badges of honor and hadn't been ashamed of them until then, when they were viewed as serious flaws. There was not one inch of my uncovered body that was not inspected, and though I was mortified by the entire incident, I had the good sense to keep my objections to myself.

"Dress him." I don't know when I've been more grateful to hear two words spoken. Mueller again jumped to obey our mistrah. I kept my chin lowered, my eyes fixed on the floor as he prepared to put my soft shirt back on me, covering my imperfect body. I was too embarrassed to meet the eyes of the other two.

A delicate looking hand came to rest under my chin and, with a little pressure, raised it so that my eyes so that they gazed on those of the woman's, so alike in their size and shape as Hilde's. Standing so close to her, I could tell that Hildah was older than my colony-born friend and there was something altogether different in her steadfast and confident gaze than Hilde's. Also, her hair wasn't as dark as Hilde's and it was cut in a short style. The girl I knew had grown her hair out after the war, and when I'd last seen her, it was several inches past her shoulders. My face must have appeared troubled as I thought of Hilde just then, for a sympathetic expression crossed the pretty and absolutely flawless face in front of me.

"The fault of this is not your own, Duwan. Mueller will direct you to the Corrective Center next cycle and you will be returned to your stunningly beautiful self. Are you well otherwise?"

"As well as can be expected," I answered, feeling unsure of myself as Hildah had done an emotional 360 on me in a very short time. "My body aches and I'm... confused."

"Healer Sallah said as much to me," Hildah said and lowered her hand while her eyes continued to study my face. "She explained to me that you will regain yourself given appropriate time and that patience and leniency should be exercised in handling you." She stepped back and nodded to Mueller, giving him permission to proceed in dressing me. My caretaker moved forward with my shirt, and I assisted him in putting it back on. Under Hildah's watchful eyes, he offered me my pants, pulled them up my legs and fastening them around my waist.

Once I was completely dressed, Mueller stood back. Hildah's stepped forward and lifted her hand to touch my right arm and the new tattooed red band, set one inch above the purple one. I flinched at the possessive touch on the still sensitive skin. In a soft voice almost akin to a purr she said, "I requested your bands to be placed again while you were resting unaware. I know from the applications of your primary bands how you disliked the pain. Are you content with my decision?"

I knew that I was expected to answer to the affirmative, so I did, and realized I'd done the right thing when I saw her smile at me with delight. "Come, sit with me once more," she said as she sat back down on the reclining sofa. I did as I was told but my movements were stiff. With a wave of her hand, Mueller disappeared again, and then she turned her attention back to me, her hand resting high on my thigh. "Do you remember Mistra Sallah telling you about re-instituting your heramone therapy?"

I nodded, vaguely remembering those words though I didn't really comprehend their meaning.

"My seedlings are to be removed and harvested in a half turn and I do not want to re-establish another cycle for this. The lineup awaiting the procedure is extensive and we would have to go to the lowest point of it once again, meaning almost a deca and tu turns. After you have been brought into contract specifications at the Corrective Center, I will instruct Mueller to establish a visitation agenda to the Preparation Center. Your heramone buildup will be re-instituted then and our docket will be maintained."

I got most of what she said, but some of the main parts remained cloudy and questions kept piling up in my head. If I understood correctly, her seedlings were her eggs and they were to be taken out and inseminated with my sperm. I figured that I was probably being given some sort of injection to boost my sperm cell count. I began to feel better when it appeared that I wasn't expected to sleep with her after all. Considering I was only donating my sperm, I figured the Purple Chosens had to be the luckiest bastards on Erith. They lived in luxury, were treated like royalty, and all for the cost of some spilt sperm. Finally, I thought with wicked amusement, I landed someplace where I didn't have to fight tooth and nail for my existence. Maybe this place wasn't going to be so bad after all.

Hildah's hand came to rest on my cheek, her nose scrunching up - no doubt with distaste at my slight stubble. "You are most quiet this eve, Duwan, and not quite yourself. I trust you are able to view a presentation with me. Walker is preparing our repast and will serve it in here and we shall commence to spend a quiet eventide together so that you will be rested for your active cycle on the morrow."

She looked at me expectantly and I offered her a smile, not really knowing how to answer to what she'd just said. That seemed to be what she was looking for as she smiled in return. She then looked down at her bracelet and another gem lit up. A moment later another attractive, dark-haired young man, who was slender, taller and older than me entered the room. He was dressed in a deep shade of yellow and came to kneel before Hildah and bowed low from the waist and waited until she addressed him. He didn't have to wait long.

"We will have our repast presented here, Walker."

"As you desire, Mistra Hildah," the man answered, not looking up. "It will be presented promptly." The man then stood, turned and left in the direction from which he'd come. I assumed he was the chef.

"Let us recline and rest together once more," the woman said and moved to lounge on the divan once more. Once she was settled she opened her arms to me and I had no doubt what was expected. I sat and then stiffly lay down once again with my back to her nearly bare chest.

I didn't know where the control came from but it seemed that from out of nowhere she held a silver button-less remote in her hand. Several black engravings seemed to pop up on the surface of it and then a large screen slowly dropped down from the ceiling. The silver, flat surface blinked and then a blue screen with unfamiliar symbols in white appeared, separated by white-lined boxes.

"Do you have a preference for this eventide's presentation, Duwan?" she asked.

"No, I don't, Mistra Hildah," I answered, squinting at the screen to see if the strange symbols would become something more recognizable. They didn't.

"See here, one of our preferred choices," she stated happily. Another click on the remote and the beginning of what looked to be a movie began. Another string of unfamiliar symbols flashed on the screen that I assumed was the title and then a picturesque scene of blue rolling hills with large billowing blue and white clouds scudded across the sky. The camera panned down to show a body of placid and clear green water with two naked people frolicking in it. And then the playing ended and a love scene began. I wondered what kind of society this was where women ruled a caste-like society and comfortably lounged in see-through clothing, watched x-rated movies and had pictures of naked people on the walls. And here I'd thought Earth's society was risque.

Walker reappeared and silently set up a small table on the side of the sofa bed so that our viewing wouldn't be interrupted. I sat up to look at the unfamiliar food on the tray that was set down on the tabletop. A pleasant aroma came to my nostrils, as I surveyed the food, taking in its bright color. It was completely unrecognizable to me.

"It appears Walker is also pleased to have you returned safely, Duwan," Hildah said. "He has prepared your preferred sustenance. Our gratitude." Walker, standing next to the table with his eyes to the floor, blushed from the compliment, his cheeks blushing a pale pink. "If you will bring the solacing nectar, you may retire to your space until we have concluded our repast."

The dark-haired man bowed and left only to return a moment later with a clear glass bottle that was round at the bottom and had a long thin bottleneck that was at lest one and a half feet long. It was filled with a blue liquid that he poured into two glasses that were styled in a similar yet smaller manner. Setting the bottle down, Walker picked up the two glasses on the table and held them out, still not looking at us.

When Hildah didn't move I figured it was up to me to take them, so I did. I remembered once, when Heero and I were more or less forced into attending one of Relena's formal dinners, how everyone waited until Relena began her meal to begin eating their own. I guessed that might be the case here, but I didn't know. I thought it was better to err on the side of caution so I handed her the delicate,

odd-shaped glass and waited for her to taste her drink before I moved an inch. She took a small, slow sip from the narrow lip of her glass before I ventured to take a taste of my own. I was surprised to find the drink to be mild and sweet, unlike the pretentious wine labels Sanq provided at their formal meals. I had thought that because I wasn't a wine drinker that I just couldn't tell if Relena's liquor was good or not, but after tasting the blue nectar, I now knew what was good, for my taste buds told me so. In fact, it was probably the best damn drink I'd ever had. I quickly finished off my glass then set it down on the table, licking my lips to savor the lingering taste, and it was only then that I noticed that Walker, still standing in place, looked at me in horror and fear. Sensing I'd done something wrong, I glanced out of the side of my eye to Hildah. Her expression was one of disapproval and it was fixed on me.

"Our relaxing in the solitude of our abode does not give you leave to forget yourself, Duwan," she said in an admonishing tone of voice.

I blinked in my confusion, wondering what I'd done now. "Sorry," I said as contritely as I could muster. "What did I do?"

The lady sighed dramatically as if her patience was being greatly tested, then narrowed her eyes as she studied me. "You know well enough that the nectar is to be sipped sparingly with your repast. One small taste after each sampling."

Looking up to see Walker's continued worried expression, I remembered Mueller's advice to be careful and submissive.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I forgot. I must have seriously hit my head in the vortex."

"Vortex?" she asked.

"The thing... storm that sucked me into it."

"That's a good expression for it," she said thoughtfully. Then studying me once again, she nodded, coming to some decision. "Very well. I will overlook your breech of decorum. But with one mark on your correction band from the hospital, you would be well advised to act with utmost care. I will be very dissatisfied if you are unable to produce your progeny fluid because you were disobedient or willful." She paused to look at Walker and then dismissed him.

I gave a nod of my head, wondering at the words used to describe semen. What had she said? Progeny fluid? I had to force myself not to snicker. I decided to wait and take my cue from Hildah as to how their eating routine went, because I was pretty sure there was one. Her delicate fingers picked up a slender, silver pitchfork-type utensil that had only two long, thin prongs. I watched as she took a bite and smiled approvingly. She then took a small sip from her odd glass, then turned back to take another small bite of her food; and so the process of eating was made clear to me. I've never eaten a meal so painfully slow and, at least to me, it was ridiculously tedious. Having guessed that this was one of those rare times when I was allowed to feed myself, I picked up a matching tong and followed her example. I was pleasantly surprised at how fast I became full from eating so slowly. Maybe Quatre had been right all along when he told me eating slowly gave your stomach a chance to tell your brain you were full.

When at last it looked like we'd finished, Hildah set her glass down for the last time. She looked at her bracelet and Walker appeared a moment later. "Another excellent repast, Walker. You may unclutter and retire."

She waited until he gathered the dishes, came back for the table, then left the room before returning her attention back to me, making me shift nervously, wondering what she wanted now.

"Your company was lacking tonight, Duwan." She was obviously not pleased with me. "I will pardon you because of what Sallah prescribed, but I certainly hope you are not purposely vexing me."

"No, I'm not," I replied earnestly. I wondered how many times a day I would be apologizing for something I either did or didn't do. "I'm just not feeling myself," I added, which was certainly true.

"I am striving to be patient, but you are most assuredly trying me."

"I don't mean to," I replied, looking at her through the hair that draped over my eyes. I... just can't remember much and I make mistakes because of my ignorance."

"Truly?"

I nodded and wondered what would happen if she ever learned the real reason for my ignorance.

"If you have not returned to yourself upon your visit to the Life Center, I will request that Mistra Sallah examine you again. Now, let us finish watching our presentation."

Hildah reclined and motioned me back into place again. I tried not to flinch as she wrapped her arms around me and began to absently stroke my chest. The presentation, as she called it, was all sex and no story; it was tedious and boring as hell. I closed my eyes and lay unmoving in Hildah's arms as she pet me, much like a person would their pampered cat as she watched the screen in front and above us, and let my mind go over all that I had learned that day. Regardless of the fact that the people living in this place seemed similar in physical appearance to the people in my world, everything else was so alien and baffling. I wondered if I would ever completely understand this place called Erith, its people and ways.

**TBC**

**Author's note and request:** First off, thanks to all who take the time to review. You're wonderful. Thanks to Azreal for catching my errors in this tricky, other world fic. Speaking of which, my proofreader will be going on vacation in a couple of weeks. Is anyone out there (competent and confident in this area) interested in proofreading a chapter or two for me during the time she's gone?


	9. 9 The Correction Center

**Bane's Desire  
Through the Vortex  
Chapter 9 - The Correction Center**

Mueller woke me later that night and I muzzily realized I'd fallen asleep on the divan. Through bleary eyes I noticed the viewing screen Hildah and I had watched the odd movie on had been retracted and she was nowhere in sight. Still half asleep, I followed as he led me back to my room and undressed me completely before slipping a silky-soft nightshirt over my head. I was then guided to my bed and tucked under the thick, luxurious blankets. The man who was my caretaker stood over me for a moment, gazing down at me with a fond, soft smile. Mueller reached out and gave several affectionate and gentle pats to my head and told me I did very well at dinner. Too sleepy to complain about being treated like a child, I yawned and burrowed deeper into the blankets. Without another word Mueller left the room and the lights dimmed as the doors slid shut behind him.

I fell quickly into an easy slumber only to have my sleep disturbed sometime later by haunting dreams. I was back on earth and elated to see everything looking normal. The sun was shining high in the blue sky, the trees were green, people were walking around dressed in many different colors of clothing and the buildings all looked familiar. Taking in my surroundings, I was surprised to see my friends exiting a black limo, dressed in their Preventer dress uniforms. My heart raced with excitement at the sight of them and I couldn't wait to tell them I was back. I joined a group of people standing outside the church and watched the four moved together to enter the church. A large group of familiar-looking people gathered inside the chapel and, as I drew near, I could see that Heero and my friends were very upset. Heero's head was bent, his face obscured from my view. Trowa's arm was around my lover's shoulders as he spoke softly to him, and a wave of jealousy shot through me for reasons I couldn't remember. I was distracted by Quatre, who was brushing tears away from his red-rimmed eyes and pale face as he walked on Heero's other side. Wufei preceded them by a few steps, his back rigidly straight and his face devoid of expression, a sign that he was equally upset. It was only after they sat down on the front pew of the chapel and the organ music began that I realized that they were grieving and attending a casket-less funeral... held in my honor. My world crumbled and fell apart in that moment, and I felt overwhelmingly lost and oddly betrayed. Those who were the closest to me were grieving my loss and in the process of letting me go... and I wasn't even dead. I was suddenly next to my former comrades and I tried to talk to each of them, to comfort and then to scold. My frustration mounted when I realized that they couldn't see or hear me nor feel my touch. At the top of my lungs I screamed at them, hoping to somehow get the message across that I was alive and for them to not give up on me... but they ignored me, unaware of my presence.

The scene abruptly changed and the four of them were standing closely together in the familiar front foyer of the Preventer building, with Quatre and Trowa once again positioned on either side of Heero, as if lending him support. Wufei stood just behind my lover, guarding their backs. The small group stood still, silently gazing at something embedded into the wall. I peered over their shoulders for a closer look and saw a bronze plaque with my official Preventer picture on the left corner. The remainder of the space was imprinted with information stating my name, age and the date in which I'd been killed while in the line of duty. It was still dark when I woke up with a gasp of denial on my lips and the pillow under my head damp from my tears. I wet it a bit more before I finally managed to go back to sleep.

Despite the nightmare, I felt rested the next morning if not a bit depressed as a result of the dream. I figured it was probably a good thing that my mind had been preoccupied with my new environment. With all the differences Erith presented and the urgent need to learn Duwan's role as a Purple and a Chosen, I didn't have a lot of time to think about the guys back home, if they were missing me or, if my dream had any meaning, they believed I was dead.

Despite feeling down, I did feel a bit more accepting of my change in circumstance, especially in light of my successful encounter with Duwan's Chooser the night before. I was beginning to understand a bit more about this society but realized there was still a lot more I had learn if I was going to successfully pass myself off as Duwan. Thank the stars that Hildah believed my experience in the vortex had caused my confusion and the changes to my body, in comparison to Duwan's. Without that excuse I'd be hard put to explain my lack of understanding and scars. I was beginning to feel that, with Mueller's help, I just might be able to pull this off.

The now familiar blond man entered my room shortly after I awoke to serve me my 'rising repast', as he called it. While he fed me, he explained how my cycle (their word for day) was going to pass.

After I finished the meal, I was bathed and dressed appropriately, according to Mueller, for going out. The only difference I could see between that outfit and the clothing I'd worn since I woke up in Hildah's place was that the fabric was a bit heavier and not in anyway translucent as my in-abode clothing had sometimes been. Otherwise, the sleeveless style, matching pants and color remained the same as the other clothes in Duwan's closet, designed to be comfortable and to display my bands and rank.

Mueller brushed my hair until it was tangle free and then, despite my protests, he pulled it up into a solitary ponytail at the crown of my head with the bulk of it streaming down my back. He gave me an approving grin, took me by the hand and led me out of the apartment, which he referred to as "the abode".

By looking out the glass wall at the far left end of the hallway, I could see we were located at least several floors up in an apartment building. We immediately turned to the right and proceeded to a solid, metallic wall at the other end, and with each step I took my feet sunk into the red, ultra-plush carpet. I glanced at the luxurious, lighter-red sitting chairs, the dark wood, highly-glossed tables and the paintings and suggestive photos of nude men and women that dotted the walls and was reminded of Relena's re-built palace, minus the predominant red and the porn, of course.

Reaching the end of the hallway, Mueller stopped in front of a solid, metal wall, and an inlaid rectangle suddenly formed to his right, and popped out from the wall. It folded over and down to reveal a black-screened panel. On its flat, shiny surface, unrecognizable figures began to light up in red, and to me they kind of looked like Greek or Japanese writing, languages completely foreign to me. A series of other symbols followed in quick succession.

"What's it doing?" I asked, curious and looking from the black screen to my caretaker.

"Securing us a mobile tube to the Corrective Center," he told me in a matter-of-fact tone. The screen darkened, flipped up and withdrew back into the wall, then disappeared completely, and not even a seam in the wall could be detected by the natural eye. Mueller took a step back and proceeded to patiently wait, facing once more the seemingly blank wall with my hand still secured in his.

I was curious as to what the mobile tube was, and, lucky for me, I didn't have to wait long to find out. The wall in front of us shifted and the outline of two doors appeared. They silently parted to reveal a clear-walled, six by four-foot capsule containing two red-cushioned seats that faced each other. It was a sit-down elevator, the weirdest one I'd ever seen.

"Does it always carry only two people?" I asked, thinking that a two-seat transport wasn't very efficient.

Mueller looked at me as if I'd just asked the stupidest question he'd ever heard. "There is only you and I," he answered. He stepped forward, tugging on my hand, and led me into the clear-walled booth, then set me into my seat and belted me in. Frankly, I was insulted, feeling like an infant being put into a child seat, but I held back my objections as I reminded myself that his protective behavior towards me was just part of his job.

"What kind of elevator is this?" I asked as he took the seat opposite me.

"I don't know elevator. This is a civie conveyer."

As soon as his seatbelt buckle snapped into place, the double doors closed and instantly the sensation of being dropped at a fast rate of speed was felt. My stomach and heart both vied for position in my throat. "What the hell?" I cried out, fearing I was going to die when we hit the bottom of the elevator shaft.

"Calm yourself," Mueller said, looking anything but alarmed. "We are secure."

I felt rather foolish for overreacting, but a glance out of the clear sides of the mobile tube showed me that we were moving at an incredible rate of speed. Suddenly, the direction changed and I found myself resting on my back with Mueller positioned above me. I turned my head just in time to see the transporter's walls become more opaque and the outside scenery we were passing by was distorted. I could barely make out large objects that I figured were tall buildings. Even blurred, they seemed to be overly bright and shiny. I wanted to get a better look at them and was frustrated that I couldn't. "Why can't I see outside?"

"The barrier becomes hazed in order to limit our vision to our outside surroundings. This protects us from becoming ill from the rapid movement," Mueller replied calmly, in complete control.

"How is this powered?" I asked, my curiosity was running about as fast as the transport. "I don't hear a motor of any kind. It's almost like we're being shot through a vacuum of air."

"We are in a vacuity of air. The capsulette is guided by magnetics."

That made a lot of sense to me, and then I understood why there seemed to be a lack of smog in the air. What a fantastic way to eliminate the hazardous omissions from cars and trucks, I thought. As I readied another barrage of questions for Mueller, the capsule readjusted and our positions changed once again. I suddenly found myself above and looking down on the blond. We rode that way for several moments before we were brought to an upright position and the sides of the capsule cleared. I could see that we were coming to a stop - though it was so smooth I honestly couldn't feel it. I was dying to know how the civvie conveyer system worked and couldn't even imagine what the braking system would be like, effectively stopping a fast moving container without the occupants feeling it. Before I could begin asking, the lights above us blinked twice and Mueller immediately unfastened his restraints, stood from his seat and unfastened mine just as the doors slid open.

He promptly led me out of the capsule and my eyes grew wide with wonder as I took a good look around my new surroundings. We appeared to be in a large terminal or some kind of grand lobby that was filled with people dressed in varying shades of blue, red and purple, all walking with purpose in small groups of two to four.

"Where are we?" I asked as Mueller began walking, or rather, pulling me alongside him, his grasp on my hand almost pinching. His longer, brisk strides forced me to a near run in an attempt to keep up with him. I guessed we were behind schedule.

"The Corrective Center," he answered. "Last eventide I communicated to them that you needed immediate handling. Preparation is being made for your arrival. We must be prompt."

"What are they going to correct again?"

"Your unnatural markings as well as any other unsightly blemishes or growths that keep you from conforming to your contract with Mistra Hildah. After reparation, your body will once again be acceptable to the code of Purple and your contract."

"I don't get it," I told him frankly. "You told me, or at least I think you told me, that I'm to help Hildah in having a child by donating my sperm that will be introduced to her harvested eggs, right?"

Mueller's eyebrows pinched together as he tried to sort out what I'd just said. "I'm not sure I understand your meaning, but I believe you are correct," he answered, still walking with purposeful strides towards the end of the large, indoor chamber. I continued to lope after him.

"Then why is she so concerned about my body, my scars and facial hair if I don't have to have se... I mean, be intimate with her?"

That question stopped the other man mid-step. He turned to address me, his face grave. "You are contracted to a Red, Duwan. It is an honor and a privilege to wear the solid Red band on your arm. Many others, including myself, would gladly trade situations with you, but we have not been as fortunate to be chosen. Those of us who are not Chosen, become caretakers. It is your duty to fulfill the contract Duwan has with Mistra Hildah and to do so with the highest standards of Purple. Mistra Hildah has the first and last word concerning your care, appearance and decorum. Do not question it again or you will risk a second warning on your collar. I stated before that correction is a thing you do not desire."

Without any further words, Mueller moved ahead, nearly dragging me along behind him. We approached a pear-shaped doorway with the odd marks over the top edge that I'd decided was writing and probably identifying the place as being the Corrective Center. As we drew near, the doors parted and we walked into what looked like a reception area. The room's walls were covered in what looked like fabric, similar to satin and pale blue in color. We approached a tall, crescent-shaped desk and a smiling woman wearing a pale red jumpsuit, sitting on a tall chair. Mueller placed his hand on a raised pad and the woman, a placid, fairly attractive brunet, gazed down at a screen.

"We are prepared for Chosen Duwan," she said, smile firmly in place. "If you will, follow the purple guide to the appropriate correcting room."

Muller nodded, tugged at my hand again and led me to a wall on the right where a doorway appeared on our approach. The doors opened up and we stepped through. Along the right side of the corridor was a strip of what looked like purple Christmas lights embedded into the wall, blinking on and off in consecutive order, leading us down the hall. The stream of lights led to a room where, upon entering, we were greeted by yet another woman dressed in red. It came to me as I studied her that she had absolutely perfect skin; in fact, it was flawless. There were no wrinkles or creases on her face or neck and it was impossible to judge her age. There was also a sense of well being that radiated from her, like a bright aura depicting good health in both mind and body. I was surprised, though I hadn't been aware of it until that moment, that everyone I'd met up to that point had that same healthy look about them.

After taking a look at my right upper arm, she stepped forward. "Chosen Duwan, welcome." She then looked towards Mueller with an equally polite smile. "Caretaker, Mueller. Greetings to you also. We are prepared for a complete corrective session, but I will need to reexamine the Chosen to assess the extent of damage done to him during the accident you reported. Please unclothe him."

Thankfully, she turned and pointed to a curtained area and I sighed with relief in seeing that I wasn't going to be stripped in front of her. Mueller pulled me into the area where we found two red, cloth-covered chairs, a small table and a wall-length mirror. My caretaker stood me in front of the mirror and let go of my hand only to busy himself with undressing me and setting my carefully folded clothes on the table.

I looked into the mirror and through the slight opening in the curtain behind me to see more people entering the enclosed area. "Mueller?" I questioned nervously as he pulled my pants down, leaving me standing in only my poor excuse for underwear. Swallowing was suddenly very difficult.

"These technicians are proficient in their vocation, Duwan. This procedure they perform every unit so you need not worry about your care. You will let them examine you and proceed with the correction with no complaint. Have I been clear?" He gave me a look that warned me that I'd better do what I was told and then added. "I remind you, it is Mistra Hildah who wishes you to be at your prime."

I felt uneasy as the curtain was opened and the group of red-dressed people descended on my near-naked body. I grabbed hold of my braid and held tightly to it; a habit I'd picked up as a child when I was uncertain of my surroundings. I've always been a bit body shy, always on the skinny side until after the war when I began to have regular meals and workouts in a gym to build up my physique. One of the many lessons I'd learned while living on the streets of L2 was that you didn't show off your body. Doing so was generally viewed as advertising for any number of sexual activities, namely prostitution. I'd only willingly displayed my body to Heero, and that had been in the privacy of our apartment.

I found myself, for the second day in a row, standing almost naked and being inspected by strangers. My cheeks burned brightly with embarrassment as several workers dressed in red used their fingers to point out each supposed defect on my skin while another person marked the imperfections on a flat, black-surfaced notebook.

"Remove his support garment," one of the women instructed Mueller, but when his hands obediently moved towards the elastic straps at my hips, I slapped them away. "No way," I hissed.

Mueller frowned at me, but I refused to give in and simply stated, under my breath, "I don't have any scars under there." He looked nervously to the center's workers for their reaction.

"Leaving the support garment on is acceptable and in accordance to his contract," the woman who greeted us at the door said, having overheard our conversation. With that stated, everyone's attention returned back to my body.

"This is humiliating," I mumbled.

"Chosen Duwan," the dark-haired woman called my attention to her. "I am Selba. I understand that an odd, unexplainable accident has caused your body to revert to its natural state and that you have forgotten some of your preceding times." She raised a finger up to touch an old scar on my arm that had been caused by the graze of an OZ bullet, and a frown of disapproval came to her face. "You have acquired numerous unnatural markings since our last meeting."

"Yes," I replied, but left any explanation for said markings unspoken.

"Worry not for we will correct them," the woman said confidently. "Do you recall your first correction?"

I shook my head in answer to her question.

Giving me a reassuring smile, she continued. "You will presently be led to the heated space where your skin will be properly cleansed. The correction will begin after that preparation. If you will come with me, Chosen."

She took up my hand and I had no choice but to follow, feeling incredibly self-conscious as I passed by the other workers. Selba led me out of the room and a short distance down the hallway that had several copper doors that were glossy from being buffed to a reflective shine. I kept my eyes mostly to the floor, not wanting to see my nearly nude body amongst the clothed employees as they followed behind me. You'd think in a posh place like that they'd have given me a towel or a robe or something. Embarrassed by my near-naked state and stuck with an uncomfortable piece of fabric up my butt crack, I decided that whoever it was that invented the g-string should be shot a hundred times over.

Selba stopped at the second door from the end of the hallway and it opened automatically. I looked for the opening device but there wasn't any that I could see as I followed her through the open door. I found myself in a small eight by six foot room with shelves and cupboards lining the walls. From off one shelf she pulled out three deep red towels. I expected her to offer one to me, but instead, she set them down, and surprised me by unzipping her jumpsuit to reveal something equal to a one-piece bathing suit underneath.

Feeling a touch on my shoulder, I turned my head to see Mueller standing immediately behind me. "At this juncture I am required to leave you in Selba's care. I will promptly return for you when you have completed the correction."

"Can't you stay?" I asked, feeling unusually insecure and uncharacteristically needy.

"No," he answered, then smiled, trying to reassure me. "But I will return."

Selba nodded to my caretaker, dismissing him, and Mueller promptly left the room.

"We need to secure your hair and bands for protection against the heat and lotions," the woman began. I stood still, feeling uneasy, as hands from behind me took up my loose hair, coiled it around the band on top of my head that held my hair in it's ponytail and secured it with some kind of clip so that it was out of the way. A thick cap resembling a towel was set over the top of my head and secured by elastic around my hairline and over my ears. Selba then took the time to carefully place some type of cover over the metal bands around my neck and ankles. Opening a tube she'd gotten from off the shelf, she meticulously applied the thick, greasy-looking substance over my arm bands.

Inspecting the protective cap and coverings, the dark-haired woman smiled with approval. "Very good, let us proceed." She picked up the three towels, took my hand and faced the door that had been behind her. I searched the wall surrounding it, wondering what was triggering the opening mechanism. Again, it opened without any apparent movement on her part and I wondered what triggered it. I forgot all about it when a wave of hot air hit me full on, a warning as to what I was getting myself into. Selba led me into a wood paneled room with some sort of metal box set against the back wall, probably the heat source. In the center of the room was a wood slatted bench and I realized this was a dry sauna, not unlike those I'd seen in some of Quatre's houses. The Arabian craved the dry heat of the desert and a sauna such as this was like a home away from home for him. Somehow, the heat and thinking about taking saunas with Quatre helped me relax and give into the inevitable, whatever that was going to be. I just hoped the correcting business wouldn't hurt. From my observations, it didn't seem to me that this was a society that enjoyed pain. No sooner had that thought come into my head, it was immediately discarded when I reminded myself about the correction collar I wore and the warnings Mueller had given me about the device.

"You may recline or sit here," Selba said, and I noticed she'd already laid two of the large towels out on the bench. I sat down on them and folded my hands in my lap, not wanting to expose any more of myself than necessary.

As if reading my thoughts, the woman in charge smiled indulgently at me. "I will leave you here for a short period and return with refreshment to keep you hydrated and content. Do you wish to be alone or to have companionship?"

"Alone, please. But don't lock the door." Ever since Wufei and I had almost been snuffed out on the Alliance's Moon base, I hated being lock up in a windowless room.

She nodded in agreement then left the sweltering room.

I didn't know how long I'd been in there, but I knew that after only a few moments that I was sweating bullets. I'm not normally a person who sweats a lot but evidently the sauna was designed for just that purpose.

I was almost grateful when the wood-covered door opened some time later and Selba, still dressed in her bathing suit, entered with two containers and a hand towel draped over her forearm. She handed me one of the glass containers and I welcomed its coolness in my hand. There was a straw sticking out of the sealed top and I tentatively sipped at it, not knowing what to expect taste wise. I was pleasantly surprised to taste a fruity liquid that was very refreshing. It seemed the drinks in this world were all exceptional. I continued to drink the chilled, flavorful juice, letting it cool my body from the inside until the hollow slurping sound told me I was done.

"My gratitude," I said, handing the woman back the empty container. She exchanged the empty container for the other one in her hand.

"Sip this one more slowly," she told me with that damn smile still fixed on her face.

By the time I was half way done, I found myself feeling good, very, very good. I was aware that I was smiling and because I felt so loopy, it was probably a pretty goofy-looking grin. Usually, the only time I've felt like that was after drinking a bit too much alcohol on an empty stomach. Contrary to what most would believe, when I drink, I don't get loud, or angry and belligerent or even happy. It's rather embarrassing that when inebriated, the former God of Death reacts differently than my personality would predict. I've been told that after I have a few drinks, I simply begin smiling contentedly and then slowly fade to sleep. That's exactly how I felt after drinking the flavorful fruit drink. Some part of my mind told me I'd been drugged, but I just didn't care. My eyes closed and the lethargy deepened as gentle hands taking the drink from my lax hand. A moment later those hands eased my body down on the towel so that I was facing up. I felt my legs being lifted and stretched out over the towels.

"Just a few more inits and we will begin," Selba's soft-spoken, feminine voice that seemed so far away whispered in my ear. At that point, I'd lost all sense of time and reason. I felt so damn good that I was only vaguely aware of several sets of hands smoothing a cool, creamy lotion on my overheated skin. Their touch reminded me of a thorough, health-spa style massage. I thought of Heero then, and of the long body massages he used to give me, but even those pleasant memories drifted away from me as I slipped into a hazy state of numb pleasure.

I vaguely recall being turned over, but again, I couldn't have cared less. It was probably the drug, but I really didn't feel threatened as the touch I experienced had no sexual overtones that would make me sit up and fight off the drug-induced lethargy. There began a tingling sensation on the surface of my skin, like the sharp sting of aftershave applied right after shaving. Hot damn but it burned. I tried to protest as the sensation grew but I stumbled over my words of complaint, and then a straw and the delicious fruit juice was in my mouth once more. Swallowing was awkward while lying face down, but the cool juice was a welcome relief to my heated body, burning skin and parched throat.

I don't know how long I lay there before I realized the hands were gone. I was brought to a higher level of awareness when tepid water sluiced over my burning skin and numerous hands and towels vigorously rubbed my body. I was only minutely aware of being lifted and carried elsewhere, but there seemed to be no evil intent in that either, and I could vaguely hear soft, soothing voices murmuring reassurances to me that all was well.

The sense of heavy lassitude continued to dull my mind even as the burning and stinging sensation began again on varying points on my body as well as on my face and beneath my chin. Unable to muster enough strength to open my eyes, I tried to complain, but it took too much effort to accomplish such a normally simple task. After a while, another straw was put to my mouth and I concentrated only on sucking the sweet nectar into my mouth and swallowing it down my throat. I vaguely noted that the last drink tasted different from the others I'd been given. Shortly after I finished the drink, I began to come out of my pleasant and lethargic state to a clearer awareness of myself and my surroundings.

"Chosen Duwan, you are to wake up now." I recognized Selba's voice and tried to follow it to a more wakeful state.

"What happened?" I asked, feeling somewhat reluctant to wake up fully. With a dry mouth and a lingering, bitter taste on my tongue, I asked, "Did you drug me?"

"It is standard practice to assure our patrons are comfortable during the cleansing and correcting process. Without the mind and body relaxed it can be very uncomfortable."

I moved my hand from my side and brought it to my chest, noting as it journeyed that a towel had been draped over my hips. My skin tingled and under my fingers, it felt strangely and incredibly soft. I opened my eyes to see the dark haired woman leaning over me, smiling, of course. "You have done very well, Chosen Duwan. There was more damage than we expected, but the correction has been successful. Come, view your rejuvenated body."

"Rejuvenated?"

"Yes," she answered cheerfully, and I noticed that she was again fully dressed in her red jumper. "We've returned your body back to its pure state, one which is required of all Chosen. Mistra Hildah will be pleased once more."

A bit confused, I allowed the woman to help me sit up from the soft padded bench I found myself on. She continued to pull at my arm until I stood, then waited patiently by my side as I struggled for a moment to gain my balance.

"Movement of your limbs will perpetuate a more rapid recovery from the affects of the relaxing elixir."

I nodded and, like a good little lamb, followed where the woman led, not too surprised to find myself standing in front of a semi-circle of mirrors. My eyes focused on my reflection and instantly widened with disbelief as I took in the sight before me. That incredulous expression quickly changed to one of horror. The ensuing anguished scream that burst from me resounded through the establishment, and it was loud enough that I was pretty sure it carried all the way back to earth.

TBC

_Author's note and response_: Thanks to all who not only reviewed, but also offered to help while my proofreader is out of town. It's been taken care of. I really do appreciate your generous offers and response to my request. And to Halli, I really can't answer your question as it would give away too much of the ending (and I'm not even half way to that point). I wouldn't be much of a writer if you figured out the whole story (or if I gave it away) right off the bat. As for wanting to see a little Heero and Duo action, I'd like to see that, too. Unfortunately, Heero happens to be in another dimension at this point in the story. Not much I can do about that. If it helps, there's lime in the next chapter.


	10. 10 Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Chapter 10 - Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow  
Warning: If you didn't already know: m:m relationship, lime**

I was aware of the exact moment Mueller rushed into the building, knowing he'd received an urgent summons from the Corrective Center. The sudden shuffling and soft exclamations that came from outside the door I'd barricaded myself behind announced his presence as did the expressions of relief I saw through the small rectangular window set in the center of the door. Moments before, Selba had been trying to reason with me in soothing tones through the closed door, yet being in the middle of expressing my outrage I was having none of it. As the workers reacted to Mueller's return, Selba broke off her soothing words to announce his arrival. Everything fell silent and went still on the other side of the door giving way to an air of expectation, reminding me of the hushed moment when a theater's lights dim and the curtain rises to begin a performance.

"Duwan, give me entrance." Mueller's face was perfectly centered in the small window, looking like a framed portrait as he called to me through the door. As he was my lifeline in the weird and twisted world, I felt I had no choice but to respond. Wearing only the towel around my hips, covering my scanty underwear, I reluctantly approached the door and got as close to it as I could. The furniture that I'd piled up in front of it had effectively kept the center's workers out of the room and now kept him out as well. My caretaker's expression matched the worried and distraught faces of those hovering in the hallway around him. Guess I wasn't the only one who was upset.

"Let me speak with him alone," Mueller said to those around him. "As I related to you, he has endured a traumatic episode recently and it has cloaked his memory and unpredictable conduct is to be expected."

I could see Selba and her assistants nod in agreement though it was pretty damn clear to me that they didn't understand anything at all concerning my problem as they backed away from the door. Mueller turned to me once more with a determined look on his face. His voice was authoritative and firm when he said once more, "Give me entrance, Duwan."

I hesitated for only a brief moment before I gave in and began to take the furniture down. In a calmer voice Mueller began to try and sooth me while watching as I cleared the area in front of the door. "All will be well, Duwan. There is no need for you to upset yourself. I am here now and no one will cause you harm." Once the area was clear I stood back as the door was cautiously opened. "What is it that has you so troubled?" Mueller asked with concern as he stepped into the room and then closed the door behind him. He slowly and a bit warily approached me as I leveled my most deadly glare on him.

"What do you mean what's troubling me?" I snapped. "Look at me, isn't it obvious?"

The pale blue eyes blinked with confusion. He obviously had no idea why I was so peeved. His eyes then scanned my entire body before looking back at my stormy face. "It is clear that you are overwrought, Duwan. I deem it necessary to forgo our visit to Mistrah Sallah and deliver you back to the abode so that you may compose yourself."

_"Overwrought_! I've been made into a... a... freak. I think I have every reason to be overwrought. Look at me! Look what they did!"

"You appear as you should," my caretaker said calmly with a sage expression on his face. "You are now in physical conformity with all Chosen and are expected to maintain yourself as such throughout your contract."

Damn, I didn't know how I got myself into these kinds of predicaments, but I decided then and there that it was going to stop. "Bring me my damn clothes so I don't have everyone gawking at me," I snapped, feeling surly. Mueller turned with a disapproving frown and moved back to the closed door. He opened it a crack and spoke to the person standing in the hall for a moment. Several moments later he returned to me with my purple clothing in hand.

"Let me help you," he said, unfolding my clothing.

"Help me? _Help me_!" I shouted, feeling angrier than I'd been since my arrival on Erith. My eyes happened to glance at the small window in the door and I could see that we still had an audience. The expressions on the faces of the center's workers was of severe disapproval, aimed solely at me and most likely because of my behavior. I remembered the warning Mueller had given me earlier and so with great effort I reigned in my anger and tempered my need to throw a major tantrum that no one in the building would ever forget. Schooling my facial expression, I turned my back to the door so that our audience couldn't see me and lowered my voice. Looking at my caretaker from out of the corner of my eyes I asked through gritted teeth, "What the hell have you done? You've made me a freak and Selba says it's permanent. How the hell could you let them do _this_ to me?"

"I am uncertain as to what you are objecting to." Mueller said, looking innocent as his eyes scanned in my body once more. I figured that having my whole body bared, with the exception of my towel-covered hips, that it was obvious. My caretaker sounded dumbfounded as he added, "They took away all unsightly blemishes and your skin is now resplendent, smooth and sleek."

"I'm a freak!" I exclaimed hotly.

"You are very pleasing to the eye, Duwan," the other man interjected.

"They took off all my body hair except for where that shitty excuse for underwear covered. Look!" I raised my arm. "They even removed my armpit hair as well as the hair on my chest, arms and legs."

"You had no significant growth of hair on your chest or body.

"So I was slow to mature," I snapped back, throwing my hands up in the air as a sign of my frustration. "It was coming and now there's not a chance in hell of that ever happening. Men are supposed to have body hair, Mueller, and even though I didn't have a lot, it still marked me as a man. And look at my face." I slapped my right cheek with my open hand. "My beard is gone. I thought I was only going to get a shave after Hildah complained last night and now I find I'm permanently stuck with the skin of a prepubescent child. Do you know how long it took me to even begin shaving? You've emasculated me! Hell, they even shaped my eyebrows and now they look like a girl's. Dammit, Mueller, I'm a guy, not a girl. And guys have body hair and they don't pluck their eyebrows or shave the hair off of their arms and legs." I was working myself up into a rip-roaring fit when his next words stopped me.

"Not if they are Blue, Red or Purple." He looked straight into my eyes with a firmness I wasn't used to, yet spoke to me in voice as calm as could be. "As I have spoken before, we belong to the highest level of our society, the Privileged. Our lives are dictated by very specific edicts and expectations for performance. Blue rules Erith and maintains the non-conflict way of life we've basked in for over a centron. Red are the hands of Blue. They are the movers of this domain. They exert much effort on our behalf, spending long tireless units each cycle for Blue and for the betterment of the lesser orders of color. We are Purple. It is for us to follow our contracts with Blue and Red, supporting their roles in our own manner. Your corrective treatment today was in accordance to your contract to Mistrah Hildah and as a Purple. Your response to it is insulting to all those who comply with the wishes of Blue and Red out of honor and loyalty."

I tapped down on my anger, though I still couldn't quite come to terms with what had been done to me without my permission. "You're telling me that all males in the three upper levels have no body hair or beards?"

"Not only the males but the females also follow the standards, and many have all hair removed, except that which is on their heads. As you kept your support garment on, it signaled that you wished to keep the hair under it, and that is deemed acceptable. Duwan also made that choice."

My anger slowly leaked out of me when I figured there was no use venting any longer. What was done, was done. It couldn't be reversed even if I put a gun to Selba's head and demanded that every hair be glued back in place. I was a permanent pretty boy. Shit!

"Duwan." Mueller's voice softened with concern as he stepped a bit closer to me. "Have you truly viewed yourself? Come." Taking me by the hand, he led me back to the mirrors. "Your body is beautiful and strong," he said with a touch of pride as he looked over my shoulder and into the mirror at my reflection.

I let my eyes follow his line of sight to see the body reflected in the mirror. With only the skimpy towel wrapped around and accentuating my slim hips, I let my gaze lower to my bare legs, looking strangely smooth and sleek. The defining muscles formed by regular workouts and training at Preventers were no longer hidden by the faint brown fuzz that used to be there. My eyes rose to my chest, now as smooth as a baby's bottom. Like I'd told Mueller, I wasn't in any way hairy, but I'd had a few hairs that looked promising in trying to form a patch at the center of my chest. My gaze trailed down my flat stomach to note the line of hair was missing that had once begun just below my navel and had traveled down to the coarse patch of hair that I, thankfully, still had. I reminded myself that body builders often shaved most of their body for competitions, so it wouldn't be too freaky if I ever got back to my own world in this hairless state. The fact is, only Heero had ever seen me with all of my clothes off, and I wasn't one to go around flaunting my body anyway so no one but a lover would have to know. I sighed, realizing the lack of hair wasn't as disturbing as it had initially been. Still, it was going to take some getting used to. I wondered what Heero would have thought about this. No doubt he and the others would have laughed themselves sick at my expense. I pushed away the sadness that always accompanied thoughts of my lover and friends, determined to try and look at the bright side. I reminded myself that I'd hated shaving after the first couple of months and the novelty of it wore off; I should be grateful that I would ever again have to bother with that daily task. I held onto that thought as I looked to Mueller's expectant face in the mirror and offered him a slightly forced smile.

"Let me clothe you," he said, smiling back at me.

With the fire of my indignation cooling to dying embers, I let him put my clothes back on my hairless body without saying a word. Once that chore had been accomplished, my caretaker dutifully brushed my hair to a glossy shine, relaxing me even further, and pulled it into a pony tail at the top of my head.

"Could we try a braid?" I asked, hopeful. "You know, twisting my hair into arope."

"Weaving," Mueller interpreted, then nodded. "Duwan never cared for that mode of hair placement."

"I prefer it," I told him.

The man's hands began to re-work my hair, but didn't bother to take the ponytail down, so I ended up with a high-set braid. Next time I'd say something sooner and give instructions.

When he decided I was ready to be presented to public eyes, my caretaker led me by the hand out of the room where we were greeted by the wary eyes of the Corrective Center's workers.

"You have worked to perfection on Mistrah Hildah's Chosen, Mistrah Selba," Mueller said, bowing slightly to the woman. "Chosen Duwan extends his gratitude and acknowledges your superior skills. Please withdraw the amount agreed to from our Mistrah's private account on file. Gratitude to you all."

It seemed like a formal farewell, but I guessed it was expected from those who were Purple to those of higher colors. I bowed as well and I felt my hand squeezed in return, then found myself being pulled out of the room and then center's front doors.

The two of us walked silently through the grand lobby until we were at the door of the transport tube. My caretaker stood in front of the doors and, again, a panel opened and a black screen popped out just like it had at the apartment building. After the strange lettering appeared, Mueller turned to look at me with an expression of disappointment on his face, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry," I said, somewhat contrite for my earlier display of anger. "It just kind of took me by surprise. I guess I like to be told when someone's going to mess with my body. In my world, very few men shave their bodies, only their faces. It makes me feel less... male."

"Your genitals are intact, therefore you remain male." The blond's face was devoid of a smile, making me wary.

"Believe me, if they weren't intact, that whole clinic would have been filled with corpses," I replied flippantly.

The darkening of expression on Mueller's face was immediate. I hadn't imagined that he could look so formidable, his expression as intimidating as Heero's best glare... almost. I'd faced Heero's most deadly glares over the time we'd been together and always came out of the experience in one piece. Mueller, though he came close to Heero's glare, didn't phase me other than to get my attention. "Never are you to express yourself in such a vile, violent manner again, Duwan. Do you understand my meaning?"

I was a bit confused. "I was just kidding around. Really, Mueller, I didn't mean it."

"Such intentions, spoken in the presence of Blue or Red, will bring severe punishments upon you and reflect badly on Mistrah Hildah. It is thoughts like that which bring out the worst in us and such actions once nearly annihilated our people. I regret that I will have to inform our Mistrah about this infraction."

The doors to the tube opened and Mueller roughly pulled me in by my hand, still firmly clasped in his own and forcefully sat me in my seat. "Wait, Mueller. Listen, I'm sorry," I said, rushing to cover my ass. "In my world we say things that we don't mean and call it a joke. I was just fooling around. I wouldn't hurt anyone here unless they tried to hurt me first."

The blond remained silent, letting my excuses run off of him like water off a duck's back. I sat back and wondered what was going to happen next and scolded myself for not being more careful. Once our journey back to the abode commenced, I was too worried to take notice of anything that we passed by or the directions we turned this time. I was, however, acutely aware that the man who had tried to help and guide me in this strange world was extremely upset with me.

After he unbuckled my restraints and led me out of the tube and into the hallway of our building, I pulled on his hand to stop him. "Honestly, Mueller. I didn't mean any offense. I didn't know that what I said was wrong here. Can we just forget about it? I'll be more careful next time in choosing my words."

My caretaker's eyes narrowed as he looked at me, judging me. "If it is indeed true that you come here from another place, then you have to let go of what you knew before and adapt to our ways and quickly. Voicing or displaying any manner of violence by Purples or any color, for that matter, is forbidden. The punishment is severe for offenders."

"I didn't understand," I told him quietly, wondering how I was ever going to fit into such an anti-war and non-violent society that was so different from my world on so many levels. War and violence were the two main influences of my youth and I knew it was going to be hard to keep my mouth shut. I figured I was going to have to do what Heero had always admonished me, to think before speaking.

"I will consider not speaking of your violation," Mueller said, surprising me. "But I am certain the Corrective Center will have sent word of your unseemly behavior. You may not escape the consequences of your actions." He then began to walk and led me back to the abode.

"Do men in your world know of peace?" the blond asked me.

"I fought for peace," I told him. "But compared to your world, no, we don't know peace. There are a lot of good as well as evil people in my world, and those who hurt others without a second thought, and some who seek to destroy governments for their own gain. I had a job in an a peacekeeping organization that tried to fight those who would cause harm and destroy peace, but it seemed like an endless, losing battle. I was sick of working so hard and dealing with the worst of humanity. I gave up almost all pretense at having a normal life and receiving so little satisfaction from what I was doing."

"I do not understand," Mueller told me plainly as we reached the door to the abode, that opened swiftly before him. I didn't really know if he meant he didn't understand my words or my meaning.

We entered the abode together and as soon as the door slid shut behind us Mueller, he let go of my hand and turned to face me. "I will explain to Mistrah Hildah why we did not present ourselves at the Preparation Center, that you were upset at the Corrective Center and suggest that Sallah should come here if she desires you to receive your heramones. Go to your resting space and lie down. I will bring you some refreshment to ease your rest."

I did as I was told, not wanting to risk furthering his disappointment in me, though when I arrived at my room, I walked into my closed bedroom door. I rubbed my poor nose, and looked curiously at the unyielding surface. I'd expected it to open as it always had for Mueller, but it hadn't. Not knowing what else to do, I turned around and began to wander around the abode until I found him again. After explaining what had happened, he led me back to my resting space. Like magic, the door opened in front of him without any apparent movement on his part.

"How did you do that?" I asked, studying the area around the doorframe, perplexed by how it worked.

He turned to me, understanding lighting his eyes. "I had forgotten that you have not the talent."

"I've got lots of talent," I protested.

He shook his head, slightly amused. "No, I speak of a talent that many Erithians have, a trait that their progenitors' possess, the ability to envision and manipulate. As you are not Duwan, you do not possess the talent that was his own."

I chewed on that piece of information for a moment. "You mean psychokinesis?"

"Your words are strange," Mueller said, confused.

"It means that you move things with your mind," I said, defining the word for him.

The blond smiled. "Yes. I manipulate objects with thought. Now, go and rest," he ordered, dismissing me and my curiosity. He ushered me into my resting space then promptly left; our discussion had come to an abrupt end.

My mind was spinning with questions even before the doors to my room closed, but with Mueller gone, so there was no one to answer them. I wondered what I could do as I had no intention of following Mueller's suggestion that I sleep, especially in light of the fact I'd already slept for most of the day. That left me with time on my hands. I glanced around the room, once again struck by the lack of personal items, and then a thought came to me. I began a systematic search of every nook and cranny, beginning with the closet. My nose wrinkled with distaste in viewing all the purple within that goodly sized space. At least the clothing was soft and touchable, but man, did I miss my boxers, the color black and my jeans and T-shirts.

I finished going through the drawers inside the closet without finding anything of interest. There were no pictures on the walls or hidden away of family, friends, lovers or even keepsakes. I was struck by how Duwan's space was so opposite in comparison to my home back on Earth. The apartment I shared with Heero was filled with things we'd collected, objects that meant something to us as well as a multitude of pictures of the two of us, our friends and co-workers. Duwan didn't seem to have anything of that sort in his room. Then again, I wondered if that was just normal behavior in this society.

I moved my search to the bedside tables and then underneath the bed. Bingo! I spotted a small green box lodged up against the underside of the mattress. It was wedged in tightly, but I managed to wiggle it free. Sitting on the floor next to the bed, I began to study the nine by seven inch box that was fashioned from some kind of pale, smooth wood. There was no visible catch that held the box closed. I realized that it was some kind of a puzzle box, normally a difficult system to beat, if you didn't have the correct instructions. Since I'd always liked that kind of ancient security, I didn't have too much difficulty figuring how it opened. Once I cracked the puzzle and slid the lid open, I got my first glance at the contents inside. For some reason I was pleased to find my counterpart did indeed have a small hidden stash of mementoes. There was a purple seashell, a ring with glittering amethyst stones imbedded in the surface, a lock of dark brown hair, a black ribbon, several dried flowers and a couple of flat blue rocks. There were also several round, flat objects, which I was unable to identify or determine any use for, so I quickly set them aside. I couldn't imagine the significance of such ordinary things. A smile twitched at the corners of my mouth as I recalled my own stash of memories buried under a blanket and several thick photo albums in my bedroom closet. No doubt my little treasures would likewise baffle any stranger if they happened upon them.

I closed my eyes and in my mind I could picture my own nondescript gray metal box as it sat hidden in my closet. I mentally reached up and pulled it from off the shelf, unlocked it with my lock pick, then opened it and picked up each item within. The first to come out was the strip of black material from the mock priest outfit I'd worn during the first part of the war. It was a reminder to me of so many parts of my past. I knew from frequent touching that it was soft, faded and worn. Pinned to it was a cut-out square from Heero's green tank top that he favored on missions during the first war. A piece of Deathscythe that I'd picked up off the ground after my war buddy had been detonated was an important part of the collection. There were also carefully folded notes from Heero that he'd written to me from his hospital bed while he recovered from injuries during the second war. They were tender, hopeful messages in which he shyly expressed a desire for our relationship to grow into something more permanent. Newspaper clippings declaring an end to the war and the put down of Deikum Barton's attempted coup were cut out and put in envelopes, marking the end of one kind of life and the beginning of another. There were other small items in my box that had a lot of meaning behind them and that came from moments we'd shared together. I thought of my box and its memory-filled belongings with longing. I could only hope that one day I might be able to see and touch them all once again.

I closed Duwan's box and set it carefully back in its hiding place, thinking that the other man, maybe in my world, was checking out my closet, my treasure box, and was thinking about his own and wishing for the same things I did.

I was about to inspect the bathroom when Mueller entered the room, a tray of food in his hands. "You've had several communications while we were out," he told me as he set the tray on the bed. "Chosen Herron requests a visit with you after the last repast. Mistrah Hildah has consented on your behalf."

"You didn't tell her?" I asked, referring to my behavior at the center.

"She remains attending to her duties and will not be present until this eventide. She will not interrupt your time with Heeron to reprimand you. That will be done in private after he has returned to his own abode."

I had a lot of things going through my head just then, and most of them had to do with Herron's visit and the threat of some unknown punishment. I'm not by nature a patient man, and even as a kid I preferred my lectures or punishments to be done quickly, to get them over with so I could get on with life. It irked me that I had to wait to find out just how much trouble I was in. Then there was the matter of Heero's counterpart coming for a visit. Having seen him, I knew he was almost an exact image of my lover, in looks anyway, which brought a whole lot of turmoil of its own because of the problems I'd left unresolved behind me. I felt wary of another visit from his double because even though I'd been hurt by Heero's actions, I still loved him, and a part of me longed to be near a familiar-looking reminder of him and the life and happiness we once shared.

Mueller motioned for me to sit on the bed and the painstakingly slow and tedious task of feeding me began. It struck me suddenly that I didn't feel half as humiliated by the whole experience of being fed like a baby as I had the first time it was done. I guess time eases even that. As my caretaker fed me, he tutored me as to how I should greet Herron when he arrived, and that if I valued my position, I should not impart my real identity to him. Mueller explained that Herron was the Chosen of a Blue and he would be duty bound to tell Mistrah Relna of my deception if I should tell him and that I would suffer greatly from the consequences. I was convinced he was right.

After the meal, or repast, as they called it, Sallah showed up, assessed my condition and seemed pleased by my apparent progress. She gave me a painless, needle-less injection of what she called heramones and then excused herself, leaving as quickly as she'd arrived. I was then led to the bathroom to be bathed again in preparation for Herron's visit. It seemed that I was to spend a great deal of my time getting clean, which was funny because I rarely did anything to work up a sweat.

Mueller was his usual thorough self and took his time in making sure I was immaculately clean and had the scent he assured me was Duwan's favorite. Sniffing my skin, I detected a floral scent clinging to my skin, but it wasn't girly nor overpowering. I liked it. After he'd brushed out my hair, Mueller positioned me on a marked place on bathing room floor and suddenly the expected blast of air came flowing down on me from a spout that had lowered from the ceiling above. It was comfortably warm without being hot and was quick in drying my thick mass of hair. The blond man brushed my hair as it dried and, as it fell over my shoulder, I noticed it was a bit shorter than it had been that morning. It also had a glossy shine to it that almost seemed unnatural. When I questioned him about it, my caretaker said it had also been corrected at the center. They must have done it while I was out of it, because I didn't remember anyone touching my hair. I almost regretted having slept though everything, but I figured that if they gave me happy juice to make me unaware of what was happening, there had to be a good reason for it.

Feeling embarrassed, I questioned my clothing for the evening: a purple satin-like lounge set of low on the hip, boxer-type shorts and a loose, sleeveless robe that came together only at my waist. I looked at the mid-thigh length shorts, finding them comfortable and wondering if I could sneak them past Mueller and use them as underwear instead of the G-string thingy. Despite my misgivings, my caretaker told me the outfit was appropriate attire for my visit with Duwan's familiar. Appropriate was not a word I would have used.

Looking once more in the mirror that was hidden behind my bedroom wall, I had a hard time taking my eyes off of my long, lean and hairless legs. If it weren't for the muscular tone, I'd swear they were a woman's legs. I ran a hand up my arm and looked again at my hairless underarm, then dropped it, resigned to my lack-of-hair state. On close inspection, my face looked... perfect, no blemishes, no more unsightly hair, nothing but skin as smooth as a baby's bottom, not that I knew what that felt like but I figured it had to be soft. I remember how I'd looked forward to shaving for the first time and chuckled at the ignorance of youth. It was a novel experience at first, a true sign that I was becoming a man, which was funny because I never had the life of a normal kid. I'd grown up too fast on the streets and in a gundam, and yet overnight the hair on my body, shaving and getting laid were the outward signs that I had become a man.

After many mornings spent in front of the bathroom mirror using a razor and then an electric shaver on my little bit of stubble, I found that I didn't particularly like shaving, but I liked even less how I looked with hair on my face. What little facial hair I produced was patchy, uneven and looked weird. Like every guy, I tried to grow a mustache but people kept telling me I had something on my upper lip, so I gave up trying and just shaved it off.

I wondered for a moment what product they used to permanently get rid of all my body hair. If I ever returned to Earth and could take that back with me, I'd make a killing on the beauty aids market, producing a product that would appeal to both men and women. Considering the vanity of the majority of the human race, I'd be a friggin' zillionaire.

The faint sound of a chime was heard in the distance from my room. Herron had arrived and my squeaky clean palms began to sweat. I brought a thick portion of my loose hair forward to nervously fiddle with the silky strands and hide a bit of my exposed body.

Several moments later, Heero's double entered my room, led there by Mueller who lingered outside the door wearing this odd, smug and knowing smile on his face. I wondered at his expression as my visitor walked through the door, wearing apparel that was dark purple in color. I stood frozen in place, breath caught in my throat and gawked. My lover on Earth was roguishly handsome, his caramel-colored skin perfectly set off his dark brown hair and his deep blue eyes, that swirled with emotions he rarely let anyone but myself see, never failed to reel me in, hook, line and sinker. Heero wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for me. When his duplicate stepped into my room, I immediately noticed his perfect, hairless skin - lighter in color than Heero's - and his penetrating, lighter blue eyes that were focused solely on me, and a two hundred-watt smile that caused my heart to flutter. My nether regions reacted in opposition to my mind that tried in vain to point out that this sex god walking towards me wasn't Heero. My eyes traveled down to see his dark purple pants that were made of the same silky material as my own clothing, but his were more like long pajama bottoms, worn loose and low on his trim hips and nearly transparent. He, too, wore a robe-like shirt, also sheer, that exposed his chest completely; and what a lovely chest it was.

I swallowed hard, trying to think of a way to keep my libido in check. I had every intention of staying faithful to my lover despite the fact that I believed he'd cheated on me. Until we talked it out and agreed to a formal split, I would give myself only to him. Of course, we'd have to be in the same world for that talk to happen, and the chance of that happening was slim to none. I'd already decided that if I couldn't return to earth, then I'd wait a respectable amount of time to get over Heero before getting involved with anyone else. As this world's version of my man came to a stop in front of me, I found it impossible to take my eyes from his face. Herron's smile was soft yet dazzling and his eyes lacked the creases at their corners that my Heero had, lines garnered from concentrating and glaring more often than not. Yes, Herron was damn attractive and I really needed to keep him at arm's length.

"Duwan." He spoke my new name with obvious affection as he moved forward and embraced me, holding me a moment longer than I was comfortable with.

"Greetings, Herron," I answered and bowed my head just as Mueller taught me, respecting his higher rank. Unfortunately, in my nervous state, my voice came out low and husky, causing the other man's smile to widen with pleasure.

"You appear to be restored," Herron observed, his eyes running up and down my body. "Much more yourself."

"Glad you approve," I replied, wondering if it was the lack of hair on my face and body Herron was referring to.

"I have been at a loss without you." The other man's voice lowered also, sounding very sexy. I knew exactly how he had missed Duwan just by the intonation of that simple phrase, his lust-filled bedroom eyes and suggestive smile. I swallowed with difficulty, telling myself that this was not Heero, this was Duwan's Herron.

The door to my room slid open suddenly and I was never so happy to see anyone as I was to see my caretaker come back into the room. He carried a tray laden with an assortment of finger food, a small, clear decanter with yellow liquid in it and two ridiculous looking glasses that appeared to be a finger width in circumference and six inches tall. He set the tray on the bedside table and looked to me. I pleaded with my eyes for him not to leave me alone.

"Is there anything else you require before I depart?"

Herron answered for the both of us. "No, we need nothing more. You have our gratitude, Mueller. If you activate the scan we will be content for the remainder of the eventide."

It was a clear dismissal. Mueller bowed his head respectfully and left the room, the door closing behind him. Herron proved to be as quick and decisive as my own Heero for he was on me in an instant. My first instinct was to shove him away, but I hesitated as the lips on my own felt so familiar and the hands that quickly found their way under my simple clothing knew right where to touch me. My guilty conscience began to hammer at my head even as Herron's kiss and touch became more intimate. I managed to pull my mouth away from his and gasped for breath.

"Are you hungry?" I blurted out in a rush, definitely panicked.

"Yes," Herron answered as he began an assault on my neck while pulling at my skimpy shirt, baring my shoulder.

"I need a drink," I said and twisted myself out of his grasp and stumbled towards the bedside table where the refreshments were. I quickly poured the golden liquid from the slender necked bottle into the two small narrow glasses. As I said before, I've never cared for wine, but everything I'd imbibed on Erith had tasted wonderful, and that drink was no exception. Again, it had a ripe, fruity taste, but this elixir seemed more concentrated than those I'd tasted before. Forgetting the lesson on proper drinking etiquette Mistrah Hildah had taught me the night before, I tilted my head back and swallowed down the entire glass, probably equal to a quarter of a shot glass. As I licked the last drop off my lips, I put the glass down and turned to look at Herron and was surprised to see him looking at me with eyes wide with disbelief. I hiccuped, and grinned my apology. "Sorry, I was really thirsty."

"Duwan," Herron gasped. "Are you... unbalanced in your mind?"

"Probably. Why?" I answered, wondering about the question and what it was that I'd just gulped down. I was beginning to feel a little funny, not bad, just more... well, I didn't know what.

"You know well that the passion elixir is meant to be ingested in very small amounts to enhance pleasure. You have just taken tre times the proper dosage."

Passion elixir? "Oh boy," I muttered, realizing I was in a whole lot of trouble and feeling rather... stimulated. I looked down to my satin-like shorts to see them tenting in a very embarrassing manner, and with each passing moment my entire body begin to transform into one hairless lump of horny, yearning flesh. I felt as if my nerve endings were being stimulated and titillated from the inside out. In short, I was really, horribly turned on. With eyes wide and my mouth open, I was unable to move or speak as the feelings of need and desire grew within me from whatever the drug was that I'd ingested. I watched breathlessly as Herron moved beside me and poured himself a drink from the bottle and drank the same amount I had before he turned back to me, an intoxicating grin on his handsome face. He reached out and gently slipped his hand behind my neck and drew me forward until my face touched his exposed collar bone. His touch was light, but seemed to ignite some primal flame within my body. I closed my eyes as I tried to cope with the sensations of having erotically charged nerves sending lascivious messages to my brain and groin. My body was thrumming with need and burning with desire. "Touch me," I whispered in a shaky voice, desperately needing the other man's hands on my skin.

Herron acted so much like Heero had when we'd first gotten together, moving with quick efficiency in removing the clothing from off my trembling body. My need to be touched became almost unbearable that I could only stand in place, quivering while I was stripped and then I watched through a sexually-charged haze as he tore off his own clothing.

When at last Herron kissed me again, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. In that moment, I was convinced that whatever the drug was that I'd consumed, was a gift from the gods. I was ready to climax the moment Herron's naked and very soft body pressed up against my own, our hips and erections happily coming together.

"I'm not gonna last," I gasped when Herron's mouth separated from mine.

"Then come," Herron said in a voice deep with passion and the pupils of his eyes had grown enormous, a reaction from the elixir, I guessed. "With the amount of elixir consumed, we will be consorting until the next cycles light," Herron said with a wicked glint in the blue eyes that let me know we were going to have a very busy night and that the man holding me intended to enjoy every moment.

The other Chosen urgently pushed me onto the bed and manipulated both of our bodies until they were entwined in the center. I was shocked by the feelings coursing through me. My body was nearly aflame with the need to be touched by the other man and I had an inexplicable desire to be taken by him, a virtual stranger, who only looked like my lover. The fact that he wasn't my Heero didn't seem to be the problem I thought it would be before I'd taken the elixir.

After torturing my yearning flesh with his teasing kisses that slowly moved down my body, a wet, warm and practiced mouth engulfed me, and my highly sensitized body couldn't take the added stimuli. My mind and orgasm exploded into a breathtaking finale with my climax seeming to last longer than it ever had before. When I finally came to my senses, I was aware of soft lips and hands tracing my torso. With no little effort, I struggled to control my rapid breathing in order to calm my tripping heart. "That was... fantastic," I declared in an awed, breathless voice.

Herron's handsome face came up to my own and his lips delivered a nerve shattering kiss. I couldn't help but think that Herron's mouth and kisses tasted similar to Heero's. When he lifted his head again to smirk down at me, he said, "I think the eventide has begun in a most satisfactory way, but with the amount of elixir consumed, we will be engaged until the new cycle begins."

I was pretty sure I understood what he was saying, that engaged meant more sex, and sure enough, I felt my body beginning to respond as the tingling need in my groin was becoming intense once again. Damn, that was a quick recovery, I thought. I looked up into Herron's blue eyes as I felt my body and erection coming back to its needy state and asked, "How is this possible?"

"This is the result of your overindulgence, my center. Now it is my turn to release. Encircle your legs around my middle, Duwan. I desire to lie within your body." I watched as he leaned over me to reach the bedside table and the tray sitting on top of it. He dipped his fingers into a light blue cream, coating them with what I'd thought was pudding. When I saw exactly where that goo was headed, I knew my guess had been way off the mark.

TBC


	11. 11 Consequences

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Chapter 11 - Consequences**

I didn't know what time it was when I woke up the next morning, but it felt later than usual. Taking a deep breath, I realized that the bedding and I both reeked of sex, which triggered my mind into remembering the night before, then feeling of horror and guilt became my bed companions. How could I have done that? I recalled how the night began with my swallowing down the passion elixir which triggered the whole debauched evening. I had to be more careful with the drinks this world offered, I scolded myself. It was becoming apparent to me that each of the colorful and fruity drinks served to me had a specific purpose, and more than likely than not, they were laced with some type of drug that was completely acceptable and accessible to Erithian society. Assailed with guilt, I cautiously turned my head and opened my eyes to find that I was alone. I didn't know if I felt relieved or disappointed. I vaguely recalled hearing Herron's whispering voice telling me that he had to return to his own abode and resting space. There had been a parting kiss, a mumbled statement of gratitude and then I was left alone.

Rolling over to my stomach, I groaned as a result of the pain centered around my posterior. I didn't know what had been in the elixir I'd swallowed, but it had precipitated the best and the worst night of sex that I'd ever had. I couldn't tell you how many times I'd climaxed or the variety of position we'd employed during the night because everything was kind of a blur the morning after, but I was pretty damn sure I'd just set a new world record. My only consolation was that Herron had to be equally sore.

Despite the slight headache and fuzzy tongue, I was fairly coherent five minutes after waking up; the drug had apparently worn off. Bringing the palms of my hands to my face, I vigorously rubbed my cheeks, noting the lack of morning growth there, reminding me of all that had happened the day before and that I was becoming Duwan more and more each day. My heart sank further in realizing that with each change, with each acceptance of Duwan's life, I was moving farther away from Heero.

"Shit, Heero, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." I whispered miserably into the cool morning air, engulfed by guilt over what I'd done the night before, that I'd been unfaithful to him. Even though it appeared that Heero was probably never going to be a part of my life again, whether I made it out of this strange world and back to Earth or not, I was sickened by my betrayal. I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't feel guilty or even responsible for not having put up any form of resistance and giving myself so freely to the other man. There was no doubt in my mind that the passion elixir had been to blame for my abasement. The drug laced drink had pretty much stripped me of any ability to resist Herron and induced a desperate, insatiable need within me to touch and be touched. Even so, with my memory so fresh with the night's events, I couldn't believe how the elixir had caused my body to become aroused again after again and giving me a climax so powerful and overwhelming that it brought me to the point of almost passing out... several times. As I lay in that bed with the scents of the night before in my nostrils, I countered my guilt by recalling mine and Quatre's suspicions of Heero and Trowa seeing each other behind our backs. If Heero could do that to me, then I shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt for having the most erotic sexual experience with Heero's double while we were... what...dimensions apart?

Despite my attempts to justify my actions, guilt continued to weigh heavily on me. "Dammit, Heero." I suddenly and desperately ached for my lover, our home and the life that we had together. Grief overcame me, similar to the kind I'd felt when Solo had died and the orphanage was destroyed. Even though I'd deliberately tried to push it to the back of my mind, I knew I'd lost everything I'd ever known or loved, they were gone, forever beyond my reach. Turning my face into my pillow, I grieved once more for my lover and everything and everyone else I'd lost, and even though he was beyond hearing, I apologized to Heero over and over for my infidelity. The more rational part of my mind tried to tell me that I was being ridiculous, grieving like that. Heero wasn't dead, just out of reach and/or time, but I wasn't comforted by that thought. Even though he was very much alive, he was still missing from out of my life.

Just as I finished that bout of grief and homesickness, the door to my room slid opened and Mueller walked in carrying a tray of food and wearing a smile that dropped the moment he looked at my face. "Duwan, what has troubled you? Are you unwell?" He moved quickly to put the tray down and came to me, gently cradling my face in both of his hands to study my splotchy face and red-rimmed eyes.

"No, I'm not sick," I told him, sniffing and wiping at the wetness on my face, embarrassed by my show of emotions.

"Then why do you look pained? Your eyes are leaking."

I looked at him feeling utterly dejected. "I want to go home, Mueller. I don't belong here."

Mueller's expression turned from concern to sympathy. "You know that is improbable. It is to your own benefit to accept your life here, to fulfill the contract Duwan made with Mistra Hildah. You possess here a life of purpose, of contentment as one of the privileged Chosen, and you will continue to live well after the contract with our Mistrah has been fulfilled. This may all seem strange to you, but there is order in Erith's ways. As Purples we look to the future, yet take every cycle to enjoy our station and the gifts we give to and receive from those we serve. We enhance the lives of others, which is of great satisfaction. You have a better life here, I believe, than the world you left behind."

"But it was my world and my people," I said, feeling both sad and angry. Yet after a moment, I gave in to reality and admitted in a dispirited voice, "I know I can't go back. It would take another freak accident to produce the anomaly that brought me here. But I can't help missing my world even though I wasn't always happy there. I miss my lover, Mueller, and my friends." I looked up at him, feeling guilty for my actions the night before, and confessed. "I was unfaithful to him last night and, at the time, I didn't care. That passion elixir you gave us took over my body and will, allowing me to do what I said I wouldn't."

"Then blame the elixir," he told me with an expression filled with understanding. "Know that Herron is Duwan's center." He placed his hand over his heart to let me know that "center" meant some deep emotional attachment, perhaps even love. "And I believe those sentiments are returned. I would ask you not to strain that connection unless he is repugnant to you, for Herron would be hurt beyond consoling. Is this the reason you are troubled? You have no liking for Herron?"

"No," I shook my aching head, regretting the movement. "The problem is that Herron looks exactly like my lover."

"Then would it not be to your advantage to consider Herron your center in this world? You lost one familiar through no will of your own and another is given to you in replacement. Does it not seem fitting that there is a balance in this?"

A balance in the cosmos? I sniffed, rubbed at my eyes, then paused to think about that. I'd lost Heero only to gain Herron. In this world I was Duwan and I was Herron's lover and he was mine. In some twisted way, I wondered if Mueller's words were correct. I'd lost the most important person in the world to me, maybe even before I came to take Duwan's place. Strangely, it felt right that if there was indeed some kind of balance in universe, whatever universe this was, the wrongs done to me should be righted. I was being offered another chance to have and to love Heero again. Maybe, given time, I could come to care deeply for Herron, that we could have a real relationship. If so, I'd be smarter this time around, I told myself - although I had no idea what a relationship in this world meant. I understood that I was contracted or married to Hildah in an apparent non-sexual relationship, evidently to have kids with her, and I also had a relationship with Herron that she encouraged. I was confused as to what Mueller and Herron meant, that I was his center. I gathered it meant he loved me, or rather Duwan, but after a passion-filled night, he hadn't stayed until morning. Instead, he'd left me to return to the place he lived with his Chooser, Relna. What the hell did that mean? My headache steadily grew worse as I tried to figure out the whole damn, confusing situation. Maybe I should follow Mueller's advice and take this place a day at a time.

I forced myself to focus on my caretaker after realizing that he'd been speaking to me. "...and it is to the future we look towards today. Mistra Sallah requires us to meet with her at the Life Center. You are to receive your heramone provisions then."

I nodded, remembering that I was supposed to go in to see Sally's counterpart to get the injection of a drug I guessed was used to boost my sperm count or virility.

Mueller was grinning at me as he continued, "Mistra Hildah procured a gift for you before she left for her duties." He gave a nod of his head towards the tray sitting on the bed. I glanced in that direction to see a plate filled with unfamiliar food. Of course, all the food I'd been given had been unfamiliar, but I hadn't seen any of the food on that tray before. I noticed a small gold box, about three inches square, set next to the plate and glass of green juice. I picked it up, opened the hinged lid and studied the contents. Within the box I found an amethyst-like stone set in a one-inch long tubular bead of gold. I picked it up to take a closer look and discovered it included some odd clips behind the setting, but I couldn't fathom any use for it. "What's this?" I asked, holding it up to him.

"If I may," Mueller held out a pale hand and I put my gift on his open palm. "Tilt your chin up."

Obeying his instruction, the blond leaned closer to me and carefully fastened the stone's casing into my collar, clipping it in place. He then stepped back to admire it. "It is as beautiful as your eyes," he said, smiling.

Blushing at the compliment, my hand went to my neck and I felt the placement of the stone, again thinking how odd this world was. Mueller's next words only emphasized that point. "With this gift our mistra expresses her appreciation for the performance you and Herron presented last eventide. Mistra Relna was equally pleased."

My stomach suddenly felt like lead. With disbelief I looked to my caretaker. "Performance?" I choked out, feeling nauseous. "Are you telling me they watched us last night?"

"Certainly," Mueller answered, as if it was an everyday occurrence. "It is the right of a Chooser to view any part of their Chosen's life."

Horrified by the knowledge that two women had watched the drug-driven sexual marathon that Herron and I'd had the night before, my eyes began a frantic search of the room, looking for some type of camera lens. I didn't see anything right off, but then I looked above the bed where a silver, half-dome light fixture was located. I'd wondered at the oddness of it as the dome was solid, leaving the light to spill out from the upper edges of the reflective silver covering and stream across the ceiling. My eyes narrowed on the three-foot wide fixture.

"It is standard in all Chosen's spaces," Mueller stated when he realized I was upset. "Duwan never took issue with being observed by the Choosers, nor should you. Come, let me feed you your waking repast and then bathe you. We are expected to appear at the Life Center before half cycle." There was a tone of warning in the other man's voice that told me to not make a fuss. I wondered if Hildah was still watching. I didn't know and didn't dare to ask, just in case she was, so I decided to squelch my anger, appear calm and do what I had to. One day at a time, I reminded myself, grinding my teeth together.

Still feeling numb from knowing that the whole torrid, erotic and desperate scene with Herron had been watched by Hildah and Relna, I opened my mouth without a word as Mueller fed me my strange food and chewed automatically. For the first time since I'd arrived on Erith, there was actually something I was served that I didn't care for and my caretaker rushed to assure me it would not be offered again. I believe I thanked him, but I'm not sure because I was overly distracted by my thoughts, conjuring up images of what Herron and I must have looked from the view of camera set above my bed.

After I'd eaten my fill, which wasn't much that morning, Mueller led me to the bathing room. Still in a stupor of thought, I responded sluggishly as he stripped and then bathed me, my mind still going over the night before. More than being shocked, I decided that I felt violated. What Herron and I had done was private, or it should have been. It was embarrassing enough to recall the things we'd done while under the influence of the passion elixir, with little to no control over our bodies, but in knowing the entire episode had been watched was nothing short of degrading. I'd acted and probably looked despicably wanton to the two women who'd watched us from another room. I don't think I've ever felt more humiliated in all my life. Maybe it had never bothered Duwan to have his most intimate moments being viewed for entertainment because it was just another accepted practice in this society, but it disturbed me to no end. There were some aspects of this seemingly utopian society that were pretty sick, in my opinion.

As I stood naked and lost in my own thoughts, Mueller dried my scarless, hairless body and then began working on my hair while I dimly came to the conclusion that I'd only been on Erith for a short time and I'd already changed. With every day passing day I seemed to lose more of myself into the role I had been more or less forced to play. I had become more docile, less body shy, and ridiculously obedient. I don't remember those terms ever being used before to describe me. Where had the independent, stubborn, loudmouthed, opinionated God of Death gone? I sighed, letting my head drop and shoulders droop with resignation. I knew that the person I'd been had been left back on Earth. Here on Erith I was becoming the obedient Duwan, doing what was expected of me, fulfilling an agreement that another man had agreed to and all for the fear of being sent down to this society's equivalent of a gutter rat.

After some time, I became more aware of my surroundings and that I was once again in my resting space and Mueller was dressing me. Without looking I knew that the clothing being placed on me would be a specific shade of purple. Though I hated the color, I appreciated the softness of the fabric against my skin. It felt wonderful and comfortable, and more like the expensive, luxurious and decadent pajamas that only the rich would wear than anything I'd ever owned. Once dressed, Mueller pulled my hair back and wrapped the long length hanging down with several purple bands, equally spaced, then the slippers that I wore for shoes were placed on my feet.

Words didn't pass between us as we left the abode nor did we speak as we buckled into the seats of the transport tube. When we emerged from the small compartment, it was to step into a building that seemed to be bustling with people dressed predominantly in Purple. I scanned the area and saw that, like myself, everyone was male, dressed in varying shades of purple with one being led by the hand by another male. The Chosen and the caretaker were easily determined by who was in the lead. I wondered if Duwan had ever been a caretaker, but then I remembered being told that Hildah sought him out before he was about to be put up on the selection block, or whatever it was Mueller had said it was.

"When did you become a caretaker?" I asked.

"Those who are not contracted by their tu deca mark from the day of beginning, are required to serve those fortunate Purples who have been chosen. It is considered training for a vocation if the Choosers look past us."

I thought at the time how sad that was, that Mueller, and perhaps many more Purples, had been raised for one purpose and then, if they were overlooked by the Choosers, were made into a servant for those who had been chosen. Even though he seemed content with his life, my heart went out to the man who'd been so kind to me.

We entered a building and approached a desk that was not unlike that of the Corrective Center. An older woman, predictably dressed in red, lifted her head and greeted us with a smile. Mueller bowed his head and announced, "Duwan, Chosen of Mistra Hildah of Red is here to meet with Sallah and receive his heramone treatment."

The woman nodded and a button on a panel in front of her lit up. "You may take your task to treatment tre-un." Muller nodded, then pulled me along through a door that had opened to our left. We walked down a corridor with Mueller checking the strange lettering on the side of the doors. I thought that if Erith was truly going to be my new home, I should have Mueller teach me how to read and write the chicken scratches that represented their written language.

Moving together, we turned and stopped in front of one of the doors and it opened as we came within inches of it, revealing a person waiting for us inside.

"Wu, how are you?" I asked, excited to see the other man again, then quickly remembered his name was Wudon, not Wufei. With his hair down, framing his face, and eyes softened, lacking the piercing gaze of conviction I was used to, I was reminded once again that the man before me was clearly not my trusted friend and Preventer partner. The ache in my chest told me how much I missed him.

"I am well, Chosen Duwan. Is your body healing in a satisfactory manner? How about your state of thought?"

Like Wufei, this guy got straight to the point. "I'm okay, I guess. Still kind of confused."

Wudon was dressed in the traditional tunic and pants that clearly displayed a set of arm bands that were both red, telling me that he was attached to another red, obviously Sallah, and that his station in life was above my own. It appeared, by the lighter shade of red he wore, that he worked for a living but was subservient to Sallah. The black-haired man proceeded to run an instrument about the size of his palm up and over my chest and the back down before he paused to look at it. I could only guess that some type of medical information was displayed there.

"You are recovering remarkably well," he said, apparently surprised. "Mistra Sallah will be most pleased."

No sooner had he spoken those words, but Sally Poe's equivalent strolled through the door, wearing the typical matching red tunic and pants. She smiled at me then listened to Wudon's findings. If it was medical jargon they were exchanging, I didn't recognized any familiar terms and it all sounded like gibberish to me. She then prepared the thing I'd been told was an infuser with a double dosage of heramones, explaining that we were making up for lost time.

"And this is for?" I was concerned about being given drugs on a daily basis.

Sallah turned, a worried frown on her face. "Your memory has not returned?" she asked.

"Only slightly," Mueller rushed to intervene.

The doctor paused as if thinking the situation over, then looked at me once again. "Do you recall Mistra Hildah is soon to have her seedlings removed and that your own progeny fluid will be introduced to them?"

I nodded. "Yes, I remember that I'm being prepared for that." And, I added to myself, that she sure used a lot of extra words to describe me as a sperm donor.

"That is correct," Sallah said. "The insertion will take place tu units later."

I was getting used to some of their words, so different from what I was used to. I pieced together that I was the official sperm donor and that tu hours after Hildah had an egg removed that my sperm would be introduced and inserted into her womb. With a nod, I indicated to the doctor that I understood what she was saying. "These injections are to fortify me, right?"

Sallah took a moment to try and understand what I'd said, then nodded. "Yes, infused for preparation." Putting out her hand, Wudon place the infuser into it and she in turn placed it to my forearm. I had the sensation of a sudden, forceful burst of air being pressed against my skin, and I blinked in surprise when she removed it. There had been no prick nor pain. Once again I couldn't help but wonder how much money I would make if I could take something like that back to Earth and figure out how it worked. My visions of being a heralded billionaire/philanthropist/genius came to an end when Sallah began speaking again.

"Because we must accelerate your heramone regime, Mueller will be supervising the rest of the treatment, administering the heramones to you tuce a cycle. He will return you to this center in six cycles for the withdrawal and insertion procedure and return to your abode after I deem you recovered." She turned and looked to Wudon again. "If you will, bring the carrier compact we prepared earlier." The man that looked like Wufei but acted so differently turned and quickly left the room.

Sallah then spoke to Mueller. "You will administer the heramones at the beginning and end of each cycle. Any inquiries?" She looked to the both of us.

"No, Healer Sallah," Mueller answered respectfully, his eyes on me, telling me to hold the questions he could see I was about to ask. "Duwan is anxious to fulfill his contract."

The doctor smiled at me with obvious satisfaction. "Very well," she said. "We will meet again at the appointed time, in this center." She turned to the door as Wudon returned, carrying a small black metal case, the size of the binders I'd used in school. He opened it on the exam table and showed us the contents. There looked to be roughly one hundred small tubes, similar in size to those you'd store the lead in for a mechanical pencil, and I recognized the infuser that had been included.

"There is a sufficient amount contained here for several turns. You recall how to use the infuser?" Wudon asked, directing his question to Mueller.

The blond nodded. "I am proficient in administering medicinal aid," he said, and Wudon closed the lid and handed the small box of drugs to my caretaker. "We will see you at the appointed time."

The day had passed quickly and I'd begun to relax, thinking that I'd escaped any reprimand or punishment from Hildah from my less than proper behavior at the Correction Center, but that relief had been short-lived. That evening, only a couple of hours after our return to the abode from Sallah's office and after my evening repast, Mueller was summoned to speak with our mistra. He returned to me, grim faced, and informed me that Hildah had commanded me to present myself. Mueller's whole demeanor had changed. He was tense, grave and strangely distant, telling me without words that I was in trouble with the woman in red who had full control over my life.

With my hand in his, I was led to a room I hadn't been in before. With a quick glance around at he furniture, a desk and several small tables and chairs, I decided that the room must be an office. Hildah was sitting behind a glass, ultra modern desk, and her serious demeanor spoke loudly to me that she was not pleased. As Mueller had instructed, just before leaving my resting space, I bowed from the waist, showing her my deep respect and humility, and waited in that position for her to acknowledge me.

"I have been informed by those in charge that you behaved improperly at the Corrective Center, Duwan. Is there a reason why you dishonor me in this way?"

"I meant no dishonor, Mistra Hildah," I rushed to answer. "I was upset at the unexpected results of what had been done to me."

"And what leads you to believe that you may misbehave in a public center?"

I remained bent over and played the part of a dutiful Chosen. "I meant no disrespect," I told her.

"You have earned two marks, Duwan, and though it pains me to punish you, I know I must before you become too willful. Stand straight before me."

Mueller's previous words of warning came rushing back to me, and his description of how Duwan was incapacitated for a day after a punishment filled me with alarm and dread. I wasn't sure exactly what was in store for me, but I was resolved to take it like a man. Straightening my back, I looked squarely into the eyes of the petite woman who had moved to stand in a place several feet in front of me, dressed in that damned see-through kaftan again.

"Stand away, Mueller," she warned the man behind me a moment before she looked at the choker around my neck and narrowed her eyes. The pain was upon me in an instant. A gasp was the only sound I made as my back bowed from the shock, much like an electrical one, shot from my neck down to my ankles. I had just learned the reason for the metal ankle bracelets. I remember a scream of agony being stuck in my throat as my body convulsed and I fell helplessly forward to the floor, unable to use my arms to break my fall. I hit the side of my head on the edge of a planter, but that pain was nothing in comparison to the torture I was being put through. I was in absolute agony, every nerve in my body was sending rapid messages to my brain of the burning pain that was being inflicted on them. I felt like I was being fried from the inside out. I don't know how long my punishment lasted, but if felt like an eternity.

It stopped as abruptly as it had begun, only I had the lingering aftereffects to remind me for a very long time afterwards of my punishment. I immediately threw up, then laid on the floor gasping and silently crying from the shock to my body as it twitched uncontrollably, my muscles involuntarily convulsing. It's hard to admit, but I was afraid, in dread that my Chooser would think I needed more punishment and would set off the trigger to my collar once again.

Then Mueller was there, hovering over me and trying give me some sort of comfort. Yet because I was in a great deal of pain from the effective torture I'd just been through, his words didn't make any sense. I was just glad that OZ had never tried to put me through that kind of torment; I might have cracked if they had.

I think my caregiver carried me to my bed and I vaguely remember him removing my wet and soiled clothing. I should have been embarrassed that I'd lost control of my bodily functions, but I was in too much pain to care at that point. Though his touch was gentle, it still inflicted horrendous pain to my sensitive, raw nerves and I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Undaunted in his task, Mueller went about cleaning my body with extreme care that I was only barely aware of, and all the while he murmured nonsensical words of comfort into my ear. I couldn't understand anything that he said as he pain had effectively tuned him out. All I wanted, in those agonizing moments after my punishment, was to go home, to hide in Heero's arms and have him protect and shelter me. The many tears I shed that night were again for what I'd lost and longed for as well as for the torment my traumatized body had been put through.

I remained in bed the next day, unable to move much because of cramped muscles. I refused the food Mueller brought to me as my stomach hadn't fared any better. His fair face was lined with concern and worry each time he tended to my needs, but he spoke very little to me, probably sensing my simmering anger.

At the end of the cycle, the question that had plagued me finally came to my chapped lips. A moment after Mueller set down the tray of food he'd brought for my evening repast I asked, "Was my punishment a part of the no violence policy that your people are so proud of?" The bitterness in my voice appeared to have startled Mueller for a moment, but then he turned to me with sorrowful eyes.

Sitting on his stool at the side of my bed he answered my question. "Even a peaceful society requires the means to convince the lower ranks to behave. We, as Purple, enjoy many privileges because of what we provide to the upper ranks. We have to be protected, sometimes even from ourselves. You received warnings knowing that a punishment would come. Upon his arrival, Duwan also tested how far he could push Mistra Hildah and she was obligated to punish him in order to bring him back into the parameters of his contract and the propriety of a Purple. This method of the collar seems cruel but it is effective. You will never forget this form of instruction, will you?"

"I was ignorant of my violations," I said, with as much anger as I could muster, but in my state of weakness and complete body pain it came out sounding pretty lame. "It was unjust."

"Mistra Hildah is not aware of your circumstances. Only you and I understand that you are not Duwan. She acted as any Chooser would when her Chosen has garnered two infractions. Now that you know the punishment, you will be more careful not to act improperly. I will do my best to guide you, but you must behave like a proper Purple."

There it was in a nut shell. I either learned my place in this world or I'd slowly have my brains and body fried like french fries in hot oil. I stewed over that thought the rest of that night.

By the second morning following my correction, I didn't feel much better and a deep depression had seeped into me at the realization that I had very little control over my own life. Evidently, I wasn't allowed to be depressed either. At the end of that long day of aching and despondency, Mistra Hildah came into my resting room, something she hadn't done since my arrival.

Mueller, my constant, near silent companion since my punishment, stood from his stool at her entrance. Hildah inspected the room with a quick, discerning glance before she turned her attention to me. In her eyes was the look of disappointment and sadness, both of which were replaced with the blink on an eye with a determined resolve as she approached the bed.

"Do you fully comprehend the reason for your correction?" she asked me.

I nodded, trying not to scowl.

"You will now cease wallowing in your misery. Mueller will give to you the restorative elixir." She gave a meaningful glance to the blond, standing nearby, ready to serve. He nodded, and exited posthaste out of the room. Several long moments passed as the woman continued to study me in silence while I kept my eyes focused on my hands, tightly gripped together, afraid to say or do anything that would cause her to correct me. My caretaker returned quickly with a tray bearing a small glass filled with a deep red fluid. Mueller took the glass off the tray and pressed it to my lips. Under Hildah's watchful eye, I did as I was expected and swallowed the contents down, wondering with some trepidation what changes this drink would bring. I wasn't as much surprised as I was amazed by how well Erithian drinks worked on the body and mind, for by the time I finished the small tumbler, sip by sip as I'd been instructed, the cramping in my body had ceased, my stomach upset was gone and my head was clear once more.

"Mueller will administer your heramones and you will begin your sleep cycle," Hildah informed me, her air of authority intact. "I trust you to be up and in a better frame of mind early next cycle. It that understood?"

I nodded my head, keeping it bowed, and mumbled that I did. I heard Hildah sigh, then heard the swish of her gown as she sat next to me on my bed and leaned over. I flinched slightly at the kiss she placed on my cheek, hardly believing that someone who could hurt me so badly would turn around and kiss me. The tenderness in her voice surprised me as she said, "Be well and comport yourself in a more proper manner, Duwan. I have no desire nor feel satisfaction administering punishment to you. It is my desire, however, that you do not force me to it again. We are both bound by our contract to each other and our colors, and I must oversee your behavior and reprove you accordingly when you choose to test the rules of conduct."

With words that seem to come from her heart, and Hildah's petting of my hair with what seemed to be genuine affection, some of the ice that had encased my heart all day melted. I realized that even though she really didn't like punishing me, she really had no other option because of the rules and contracts that Erith's society had established. I again heard her sigh a moment before she stood, and out of the corner of my eyes I watched her turn and leave my room.

"Here." Mueller put another drink under my nose the moment the doors shut. "This will help you to slumber. I will administer your heramones after you have begun your rest."

Before I finished the small, shot-sized cup of sweet amber-colored liquid that had been sitting on my food tray, my eyes were closing and Mueller was gently lowering me back down into my bed. "Rest well, Chosen," he whispered. His kiss on my brow and his fingers combing through the hair around my face were the last things I remembered that night.

TBC

Author's note: Sorry for the long wait. Two weddings, two vacations, two novels, dog in heat, babysitting and long days at the beach are my excuses.


	12. Chapter 12

**Through the Vortex  
Part 12 - An Eventful Day  
Warnings: Limey **

The morning after taking the restorative elixir I awoke free of pain. My body was back to normal, as if the excruciating punishment had never happened. Frankly, I was astonished. After two days of abject misery I'd been completely restored to good health with the elixir Hildah had ordered Mueller to give me the night before. It was clear to me at that point that Erith's medical technology far exceeded Earth's, at least where drugs were concerned. I wondered if all the tasty drinks that society enjoyed were laced with some type of drug that caused a specific reaction: undisturbed sleep, prolonged sexual arousal, instant pain reliever, a sense of contentment, etc.

Though my curiosity was piqued, I couldn't help but wonder why, if the drug that had almost instantly cured all my pain had been available, hadn't I been given it sooner? I asked that very question to my caretaker and, in his usual patient manner, he explained that an important part of being corrected was to experience the lingering pain and disapproval of my Chooser. He more or less said that a punished Chosen was allowed to linger in that state of suffering because it gave him an opportunity for introspection. Apparently the standard length of time for this "introspection" was two full cycles before the restorative was given. The whole experience, beginning with Hildah's chastisement, initial punishment, the two cycles of residual pain, ending with instantaneous relief, also by the hand of my Chooser, was to serve as a lesson and lasting reminder to me not to step out of the bounds of my rank and contract. I hate to admit it, but that one shocking punishment effectively achieved its purpose because there was no way in hell I wanted to be punished like that again. The memory of that unbearable pain, caused by my simple looking collar, would have me on my toes from then on, as perfect a Purple as I was capable of being. With that resolve in mind, I decided to pay more attention to what Mueller was telling me in order to avoided any more unforseen pitfalls.

As the next few days passed, our routine back in place, I began to notice a change taking place in my body, which I guessed was due to the heramones. My skin felt softer and was extremely sensitive to touch. When Mueller bathed me, my nipples hurt when the cloth in his hand rubbed across them. I really didn't know what the drug was that I was being given, the heramones, only its purpose. I wondered if the soft and sensitive skin was just a side affect. When I asked Mueller, he assured me what I was experiencing was normal and that the infusions were necessary for the upcoming procedure.

Each night that week, Hildah called for me to share the evening meal with her. She appeared completely at ease with me and was always in control of herself, me and the entire evening. She never spoke of my infractions nor my punishment. However, they were never far from my mind. Knowing that she could give me a neck band a mark without lifting a hand, or worse, that horrific punishing pain with a glance of her eyes, had me feeling jumpy whenever her eyes lingered on me for more than a moment. I forced myself to appear calm, refusing to flinch or cower because that's just not my style. Despite my resolution to be strong, the memory of the pain she inflicted on me was still fresh and, subsequently, I found it hard to look her in the eyes. If she noticed the change in my behavior, she ignored it.

Most of our dining conversation centered around her excitement about the upcoming procedure: the removal, fertilizing and the implantation of her fertilized seedlings. With sincere concern she asked after my health and assured me that all would be well and not to be anxious. I became confused by her expressions of concern and her assurances and began to wonder what it was that I was supposed to be so nervous about. Sure, it had been quite a while since I'd had to rely on my hand for sexual release - Heero had made sure of that - but I was pretty sure I could produce the sperm required as long as I was left alone in a room. Maybe she was afraid I'd feel too pressured to produce on demand. I certainly hadn't experienced any problems in the past, but then again, I'd never been a sperm donor before.

Four cycles, or rather, days after Herron's last visit, he returned for another. Though I was initially reluctant to repeat my betrayal to Heero, Mueller convinced me to see him, telling me Herron wouldn't understand my refusal and would be hurt by my rejection. I told myself to be strong, that a visit didn't have to be a sexual one. I had every intention of sitting Herron down and having a conversation with him, hoping to get to know him better.

He entered my bedroom looking even sexier than he had before - if that was even possible. I decided it really didn't matter what he wore, (and secretly I wondered if he had anything that wasn't see through) for it was his half-lidded, bedroom eyes that took my breath away and turned my libido into a traitorous bastard, foiling my plans to abstain from whatever intentions those devil eyes held in store for me. Pinching myself on the soft flesh of my underarm, I gained some control over myself and manage to sit Herron on the edge of my bed while I positioned myself next to him, at a safe distance. I then commenced telling him that I wanted to talk. He began to scoot over towards me with a wicked gleam in his eyes, so I stretched out my arm and gripped his shoulder, physically keeping him at arm's length. His eyes filled with confusion when I told him I was serious and that I wanted him to tell me something about himself.

He capitulated, reluctantly, began to speak of his progenitors and an older sib who was a blue. He had lived with them on the island of Japai far across the great waters of Olean. He spoke without emotion of his home while inching closer and closer to me as I unconsciously let my guard down. The tales of his youth were whispered against my ear with a talented tongue teased me every now and then, igniting a heated desire for him within me. He was good at seduction, very good. My resolve and ability to offer up any form of resistance to his overtures melted the moment the man, so closely resembling my lover, tilted my head up with his fingertips and tenderly kissed me. With his arms around me and his tongue gently coaxing my lips apart, I didn't have the strength to resist. In retrospect, I blame it on my traumatic punishment from Hildah just days before. I can only guess that being so out of control of my own life left me vulnerable, needy and wanting Heero, for you see I clung to his double with an embarrassing desperation that at the time I didn't have the presence of mind to try and understand. My eyes followed him as he leaned towards the bedside table and poured a minute amount of the recognizable amber elixir into the finger glass, then held the cool rim to my lips. It was only a swallow's worth, but once again the effects were immediate. After pouring a drink for himself and swallowing it down, he replaced the glass and turned his full attention back to me. Our love making was slower that night, with a bit more finesse and not as desperate as it had been the first time. Herron took my breath away.

I awoke the next morning to find myself alone once again. At first I felt hurt and disappointed by the other man's absence. I was suddenly hit with a sense of shame, horrified that I'd had those feelings of longing for someone other than Heero. It wasn't right, I scolded myself. It was wrong for me to transfer my feelings for Heero to someone who merely looked like him, someone who, while able making my toes curl with his tantalizing kisses, did not share a past with me like Heero had. Upset with myself and frustrated by the entire situation, I spent the rest of the day being cantankerous and moody, earning Mueller's scowl of disapproval several times.

Seven cycles passed from the time I'd visited Sallah and Wudon, and I rose from my bed that morning us usual with Mueller giving me my injection and then feeding me my rising repast. We bathed, he dried me and my hair, then dressed us both in our purple clothing. Odd as it seemed, all these activities had become a familiar routine that I no longer balked at.

I was informed that Hildah had left for the Life Center earlier, and that we had several hours until we were expected. Mueller planned a surprise excursion for us, a visit to a Physical Expression Center to help pass the time. At first I didn't know what that meant, but seeing as I didn't have anything else to do, I was game. I hadn't seem too much of Sangor to compare it with Earth, and most of the places I'd been in I'd seen only the interior.

The transport let us off just outside the building that Mueller said we'd be entering. With curiosity I studied the behemoth. The structure of the building he led me to was very different in design than what I was used to, consisting of random sharp angles and a material that looked like white sparkling granite, which jutted out at odd angles from the sides and roof. It vaguely reminded me of several museums I'd seen pictures of and read about on earth, buildings that had been designed by some famous, modernist architects trying to come up with a structure that would surpass the artistic creations stored within their own work of art.

Low and behold my observations were correct. The Physical Expression Center was an art museum. I can't tell you how many pictures or statues of posed, copulating or frolicking naked people we passed by. The so-called art vaguely reminded me of the art galleries I'd seen in Florence, Italy, but after about ten minutes of looking at nothing but naked bodies, they all started to look alike. I had to feign interest after a while, but that came to an end the moment I met up with Quatre and Trowa's lookalikes.

The two familiar looking men were sitting together at a table off to the side enjoying what looked to be a light refreshment. They smiled brightly when our eyes met and it was clear that they recognized me. I quickly reminded myself that those two weren't my friends recognizing and greeting me, but that they were strangers that knew Duwan. Mueller followed my line of sight to see the two men at the table. He looked at me a bit warily, then proceeded to lead me by the hand towards them, quickly whispering under his breath that they were Kattron and Tradell. Quatre's double sat straight backed, confidently carrying an air of authority that I'd seem my friend don in business meetings or negotiations. His smile was gauged to be pleasant but not too friendly. As he waved us closer, I noted that Kattron's hair appeared blonder than Quatre's and much longer, past his shoulders and board straight. It gave the handsome man an ethereal glow that was accentuated further by the ceiling lights shining down and reflecting off the silky strands. He was dressed in a deep burgundy tunic and pants, with one band on his bare, upper right arm, a vibrant blue color. Still whispering, Mueller quickly informed me that Kattron was as high in rank as a male in their society could be, having a mother that was a Blue and a father as the same rank as himself. He was committed to a Blue and Tradell was their Chosen.

My eyes drifted to Tradell, who was dressed in purple, a shade lighter than my own rank of color. He bore the purple band of a Chosen, plus two more above it: blue and deep red. Those two Chooser's tattoos were entwined, loosely weaving around his upper arm. At first glance, I think Tradell reminded me the least of my friends back home. His hair was shorter, the long bang that was Trowa's trademark was gone and its color was a beautiful red, not a brassy, carrot shade but one with blond strands woven through it. The shorter style revealed the other man's eyes which were softer in expression and a less intensely green than the former Heavyarms pilot's eyes were.

As we came to a stop in front of their table, Mueller bowed to Kattron and I followed his example, doing the same.

"Greetings, Chosen Duwan and Caretaker Mueller," Quatre's duplicate said, still smiling.

"Greetings to you also, Kattron Red, Chosen Tradell," Mueller replied formally. "You both appear well."

"Duwan." Tradell's voice was soft as he spoke my name, but there was something in his tone that spoke of neediness.

"Greetings, Tradell," I answered with a smile, unused to seeing the face identical to Trowa's showing so much emotion. It seemed to me as if the other man was trying to tell me something with his eyes, appealing to me for something I couldn't name.

"I have not had the enjoyment of your companionship," the redhead said, still looking at me with a slight blush growing on his cheeks. "Perhaps you will come for a visit soon."

"Duwan meant no slight, Chosen Tradell," Mueller interjected, probably trying to save my butt. "He experienced an unfortunate accident at the Life Center and his mind and body needed a period to regain its balance."

Both seated men focused their eyes on me and no doubt saw the bruise on my right cheek where I'd hit the coffee table after falling during my punishment.

"Are you well?" Kattron asked, concerned.

"He has been a bit unsettled but all will be well soon," Mueller jumped to answer for me again. "We go from here to the Life Center. The Insertion procedure will happen this cycle."

Both men's eyes lit up with excitement. "That is most excellent," Kattron said. "You must rely on Tradell to answer any questions you may have or for a word of comfort and understanding."

A hopeful look radiated from the redhead's eyes as he nodded in agreement.

"I will. My gratitude," I managed to say, a bit shaken at Trowa's twin looking at me in such an openly hopeful manner. There was a spark of excitement in his eyes that I found more than a little disconcerting. I suddenly realized that it was the same kind of spark that shined in Trowa's eyes whenever he greeted Quatre after an extended separation caused by the circus or Quatre's business. I was pretty sure I didn't like what that look, now aimed at me, suggested. Tradell's beaming smile - something I'd never seen from my former comrade - came in response to my simple words of agreement. I was left with a strong impression that the redhead had a thing for Duwan.

"I'll call Mistra Hildah to arrange for you to spend come to our abode to visit with Tradell. It would certainly be a pleasing distraction for him from each cycle's tedium," Kattron said, looking from me to the man at his side. The soft smile displayed on the blond's face as he gazed at Tradell spoke plainly of his affection for the other man. The redhead returned a loving grin of his own, and it warmed my heart that the two men shared a connection in this world as well as in my own.

"Our viewing here has come to an end," Mueller interjected with a tone of regret, his hand squeezing mine. "We must take leave of you and make our way to the Life Center. Good cycle to you both." He bowed to first Kattron and then Tradell. I was quick to follow his example and left them with a last smile. After taking a few steps away, I turned my head for a last glimpse of the two men only to witness a much more sober Kattron putting his arm over Tradell's shoulder in a comforting manner. The redhead leaned into the embrace, looking sad. I couldn't help but wonder what had caused such a sudden downturn in their moods.

Brisk steps took us to the transport tube where Mueller summoned a capsule for us. When it came, he buckled me into my seat, then took his own. "I have sent ahead to the Life Center spare clothing in the event that you desire to change after the procedure."

I wondered if he was just thinking ahead, that if I got sloppy and my ejaculation got on my clothing, he'd be prepared. I'd gotten the idea that a Chosen never appeared in public in less than perfect form, so that explanation made sense. The rest of the short journey was made in silence, and the more I thought about what I was going to be asked to do, the more nervous I got. Maybe Hildah's worries had been justified. As edgy as I was becoming, I began to worry whether or not I'd be able to deliver the cup-of-goods expected. I looked up to Mueller sitting above from me in his seat with his eyes focused on the wall to his right, his lips pursed. His inattentive pose was unusual for him and I had the impression that something was bothering him. Maybe there was something he wasn't telling me. After the incident at the Correction Center, being blinded-sided by something I hadn't understood, my suspicions were easily aroused by things my caretaker did or said that didn't seem quite right. I reminded myself that Mueller had been kind to me, he'd served me, bathed, dressed and fed me. He even warned me of the consequences of my actions and advised me on how to behave in this strange and complicated world. He was my lifeline and I felt an almost desperate need to trust him, to believe that he had my best interests at heart, and so I tucked my suspicions deep down inside of me and decided to follow where he would lead.

We arrived at the Life Center shortly after leaving the museum and I noted that we were taking a different route than we had the week before. After a short walk we reach and then went through opening, red, double doors and were greeted by a man attired in what else but red, sitting behind a crescent-shaped desk. "Greetings," said the bald-headed, square-jawed man eyeing the both of us with an air of superiority that I'd always hated. He reminded me of a handful of people I'd met at Relena's mandatory attendance parties that were always filled with pompous people suffering from delusions of self importance and grandeur.

"Duwan, Chosen of Hildah of Red is here for removal and implantation." Mueller announced, taking on airs of formality himself. I had to keep myself from chuckling at his words to describe my jacking off into a cup in some back room and then inserting my sperm into Hildah's eggs. I guess on Erith there wasn't an easier way to say it.

The man's eyes widened and he stood from his chair looking anxiously at me. "Of course. Welcome once again, Chosen Duwan. I extend the center's regret for the unfortunate incident that befell you during your last visitation. Your Chooser has been compensated for the mishap and we will insure that your contract is fulfilled with no further delay."

I could only guess that the accident that had caused Duwan and I to switch places, if that's indeed what happened, shook the Life Center up a bit, for it wasn't an everyday occurrence for a Red to apologize to a Purple.

"We put our trust in the contract and in your care," Mueller said in response.

"We have not had a recurrence of that mishap since then," the Red said quickly. "We are all fortunate that neither the removal of your Chooser's seedlings nor your progeny fluid had taken place before that unexplained storm appeared. There is no saying what the damage to you or the seedlings might have been."

At that point I was nothing short of being confused. I figured out that this was where Duwan had been when we'd switched places in the vortex, but why would it have been worse after I'd jacked off in a cup? Before I could ask the questions popping up in my mind, Mueller began to speak.

"Mistra Hildah is anxious for us to begin," he said quickly.

The man behind the desk nodded and looked down to an apparently blank panel in front of him. Red lights in odd shapes lit up, and the man nodded to his left. "Follow if you will and Tish will lead you to the process room."

A door to our right opened and a petite young woman with short blond hair and dressed in red came towards us. "Welcome, Chosen Duwan," she greeted me with a smile. "It pleases me to see you have recovered and have returned to fulfill your contract. If you will follow me." She motioned with her hand for me to follow her to the door she'd come out of then led the way through it to the hallway beyond. We didn't walk far before she turned into one of the many doors that lined the red-walled corridor.

Once inside the room, I took note of the exam table with a thick purple pad resting on top of it with a pillow and a light, purple blanket folded neatly at the nearest end.

Looking directly at Mueller, the blond woman directed his next movements. "Remove his garments completely, Caretaker Mueller, and have the Chosen lie upon the resting pad." Tish then looked to the wall and a section of it, adjacent to the top edge of the bed, opened. The inside of the cabinet appeared to be filled with medical supplies and tools. She immediately pulled out several shelves, making the items more accessible.

As Mueller began to unfasten my clothing, I looked nervously at the woman and under my breath I asked my caretaker, "She's not staying in here, is she?"

Mueller frowned at me as he continued his task. "She performs this task frequently every cycle, Duwan. There is no need for shyness."

"I don't think I can do it with an audience. In fact, I know I can't."

Muller pulled my shirt off and said, "You have nothing to do. All that is necessary will be done for you."

"What?" I blinked with confusion at what he'd just said.

Seeing my expression, Muller smiled. "You are not to become anxious, Duwan. This process is unproblematic."

"Can you explain just what is going to happen here?" I asked as I stepped out of my pants and then the g-string underwear. With the woman in the room, I wasn't sure if I should use my hands to cover the front of me or the bared cheeks of my behind.

Before the blond man could answer me, the woman said authoritatively, "On the resting pad if you please, Chosen." Red faced and embarrassed as all hell, I tried to angle my way to the place I'd been directed to, my hands covering the front of me while trying to keep my bare ass out of her direct line of sight. I couldn't help thinking at that moment that if my friends could see me in this predicament, they'd be on the floor laughing their heads off. Judiciously climbing up on the high-set pad was another logistical, modesty-keeping nightmare. As soon as my butt hit the bed, I quickly pulled the folded blanket up and over my exposed body.

"Do you have an enactment?" the woman asked.

"Yes," Mueller answered and dug into the shoulder-strapped satchel that he always wore on our outings and pulled out a small clear case with a two inch disc inside. The woman in red took it from him and slid it into a silver box that resembled a miniature DVD player. "You may go," she told my caretaker. "Your task will be ready for you to attend in un unit. I will come myself to the waiting area for you at that time and deliver you to him. You will attend him until the next phase commences."

Mueller nodded, gave her a slight bow then stepped to my side. Taking my hand in his, he looked deeply into my eyes. "This is all part of the contract, Duwan. Draw from your courage and sense of honor to see this through. I'll return to you before long." Then with a last smile to reassure me, he left me alone in the room with a virtual stranger, and to do the five finger tango on myself.

With little else to do, I turned wary eyes on the only other person present. From the area above the floating tray she removed several items and set them on the flat surface in front of her. Picking one of the items up, she turned her attention back to me and smiled sweetly. "Are you in readiness?"

I swallowed so loud that I was sure she could hear it. "Um... how is this done?"

"You will be placed and required to remain on your back, looking to the scene above. Focus on the images presented and when you are made ready I will attach the receptor to catch your progeny fluid." I was so nervous that I almost laughed out loud at hearing again the term they used to label sperm. My face must have twisted up while trying to hold it in because the woman began to reassure me. "This procedure in not painful, Chosen Duwan. In fact, every Purple I have extracted fluid from has reported this to be a most pleasurable experience."

She turned to gaze upon a silver pad inside the open cabinet, causing a red light to come on. Suddenly, the ceiling above me came to life. The first thing I heard was a low moan, followed by another. I was directed by gentle hands to lie down, and somehow managed to keep the blanket strategically in place as my eyes came to view the scene above me. Shocked, my gasp echoed slightly within the room as I recognized exactly what was being played on the full-sized ceiling monitor in vivid, embarrassing technicolor. It wasn't the film Hildah and I watched together, it was much worse. Displayed above me was Herron and myself on that first night we'd had sex together, when I'd swallowed the passion elixir like a man dying of thirst.

Frozen in a state of shock, I failed to react quickly when the blanket was abruptly removed from my hands and body. "Your eyes will remain on the images above you, Chosen," Tish told me in a no-nonsense voice. "Doing so will make this task easier to accomplish."

Shit, I swore to myself, and was glad that at least I managed to say that under my breath. There was no way I was going to be punished again for simply swearing. I couldn't help but look at the ceiling and only vaguely thought it was weird that I was laying down but viewing myself and Herron on a bed from a camera that had captured us from above. It was disconcerting, a bit disorientating, but I had something else to think about. All I can say is that I'm a healthy male, and as I watched Herron going down on me, my body went on automatic. The scene above me was titillating and damn erotic. My face was a picture of both torture and ecstasy as I clawed my fists into the sheets and arched up with sensations I remembered being so overpowering. I remembered I'd not lasted very long on that first go round, and I could feel myself heating up, probably turning bright red as I watched my recorded self cry out as that first powerful orgasm shook me to the depths of my soul. Herron then moved beside me, putting our naked bodies flush against each other as I recovered. He picked up a cloth from the tray and wiped me clean, then began to trace his fingers over my stomach. When it looked like I'd regained my senses, he placed himself between my splayed legs, spoke to me in a deep low voice, and then leaned over for the blue goo I had been quick to learn was their version of lubricant.

Again, I'm only human, and a man at that, and my body continued to respond to the scene above me. We were damn hot, if I do say so myself. I took the opportunity to look at Herron's body as he prepped me, noting the differences between his and Heero's, and through Herron was slender, trim and attractive, he couldn't come close to Heero's glorious body. I've always loved the feel of Heero's muscles rippling under his skin, especially when we made love. Sure, Herron had muscles, but they weren't the toned, strong ones that Heero had developed even further from regular workouts at the gym since the end of the second war.

Despite the moans and groans of pleasure coming from the recording, the woman next to me spoke quietly from just out of my line of vision, gently encouraging me as my lower regions came to stand-up-and-salute life. I jerked suddenly, feeling something being set around my erection. I looked down, startled to see the blond woman fastening a long, four- inch wide cylinder around my rigid length. "W..what?" My voice squeaked and I flushed deeper at the sound.

"The plector will give you pleasure and collect your fluids," she explained. "I will leave you until you have finished, then return promptly to remove it. We will then begin readying for the next procedure." She glanced again at the panel and several red lights appeared. Satisfied, she left the room.

The tool surrounding the most sensitive part of my body at that moment was light enough not to weigh me down and was snugly fitted but not too tight to be constrictive. And from the moment Tish had given a simple glance to the panel, the casing began to pulsate. I'd never felt anything like it. I experienced a sensation similar to thousands of soft, minute fingers touching me, stroking and teasing me from all directions. It was insanely, unbelievably erotic, and the pleasurable sensation shot up from my groin through my body to my stunned mind, which was already having a problem dealing with the scene above me. Herron had just positioned himself at my entrance while I wrapped my legs around him, locking my ankles together. Within a couple of moments I found myself nearing the edge as the tool and the scene above obliterated all other thoughts from my mind.

The back of my head sunk deeper into the pillow as I gasped for breath and I began to sweat as my hips instinctively jerked upward, mimicking Herron's movements above me. Gripping the pillow with both hands, I came and came hard. Arching my back and gasping from sheer overload, I felt a new sensation begin around my ejaculating member. There was a feeling of a pull, a suction, and going by feeling alone, I vaguely realized that my 'progeny fluid' was being gathered up into the head of the contraption that was designed for such a procedure. I can't even begin to tell you what it felt like to be coming and then have that suction turn on. All I can say is that as unusual was it was, it felt unbelievable and drew my climax out further, leaving me feeling completely drained when at last I slumped back onto the purple mattress.

My completion must have triggered the mechanism that I was done, for the tool around my softened member stopped working and fell limply against my stomach.

The door promptly opened and the woman, Tish, came in with a smile on her face. "Very good," she said, making me feel like a school boy who'd just added a couple of numbers together correctly, only I wasn't proud of my accomplishment but thoroughly embarrassed beyond words. She went to gaze at the panel and shut off the erotic scene being played out above me. I flinched as she reached for the device and quickly removed it. Stepping back from me, she released the rounded tip on the end of it and studied something on the flat bottom. "We have a good sampling," she said in a pleased voice. "I will deliver this to be introduced to your Chooser's seedlings. I will return promptly to cleanse you in preparation for the next stage."

"I can clean myself," I told her, silently praying she'd let me do it myself. I'd had enough humiliation for one day.

Still smiling at me in an unnerving way, she reached into her magic cabinet and pulled out two moistened, disposable cloths. "I will return presently," she said, handing them to me, and then, gratefully, she disappeared out the door.

Glad to be left alone, I busied myself with the cleanup, hoping to distract my thoughts from what had just happened. I was surprised at how little mess there was to clean up and finished the task quickly. Once again, I couldn't help but wonder how much money I could make back home with a gadget like that. Of course there could be a down side to that kind of sexual toy. Maybe men would stay at home every night, getting off with a magical tool instead of going out and making an effort to find a life companion. If I developed such a tool, I might be responsible for the decline in population, which might be considered with a good or a bad thing.

I left off my mental deliberations over the practical uses of the tool Tish had called a plector, and sat up to look around the room, trying to locate my clothing. Tish didn't say I could get dressed, but I wanted to, badly. After failing to see my clothing, I grabbed the blanket that had been set on the bottom of the resting space and placed it around my body. Feeling a bit more secure, I eased myself back down on the mattress and curled up on my side to wait for Mueller to come for me.

The door swished open several long moments later and Tish re-entered the room with another man. He had sandy-brown hair, handsome, classical features and wore a somewhat practiced smile on his face. He dressed in something similar to medical scrubs that were a deep red color. As the man came to stand next to me, my eyes widened with recognition. Though I'd never met this man's double in my life or time, I'd seen plenty of pictures of him and had heard more than enough of stories about my former enemy, Treize Kushrenada.

"Well this is certainly an exciting cycle, isn't it, Chosen Duwan? New life is about to be created."

"Ah, yeah, I... I guess so," I stumbled over my words, still kind of shocked. Added to that, I was feeling extremely self conscious, acutely aware that now there were two people in the room with me that were quite aware of the fact that I was naked under the blanket, and one of them looked like a man that had once been my enemy.

The aristocratic looking man's smile faltered. He seemed to be aware of my discomfort. Little did he know the real reason for it. "It is to be expected that you find yourself a bit timid and fearful about the next process, but I assure you that I have performed the implantation with utmost success. Rest your mind that you will receive only the best of care."

A slight pressure on my upper arm brought my confused mind back to Tish, seeing that she'd just used an infuser on me. Damn but their drugs worked fast. I was instantly drowsy and felt my face slacken and my limbs become too heavy to move. "Whaaat?" My one-word question came out slurred.

Kushrenada's double leaned over me, studying my closing eyes and his voice began fading as I drifted into unconsciousness. His sentences were choppy as I was overcome by the need to sleep. "... insertion will occur... unit before we receive the prepared egg. Before... close and seal the... the new life ... introduced... implantation within your body."

Almost unconscious, I managed to latch onto his last few words and mentally screamed as I was pulled closer to oblivion. Unfortunately, I was too far gone to scream or even try to move to get myself the hell out of there.

**TBC**

Author: Thanks for reviews and support. Both inspire me to keep writing.


	13. 13 Transition

**Through the Vortex  
Banes Desire  
Chapter 13 -Transition**

**Warnings**: Read the warnings on the first page. If you didn't get the reference to the movie Junior, it means male pregnancy. I figure, what the heck, as long as I'm dreaming up a world, I might as well have fun with it, right? Balance the scales, so to speak.

"Chosen?" A female voice seemed to be speaking to me from a great distance and it was the only sound I could pick up from the void I'd been floating in. I became aware of my cheek being persistently, irritatingly patted. "Chosen Duwan, do you comprehend my meaning? You need to awaken," the woman insisted. "Your caretaker is preparing to see you to your abode."

More than the soft spoken voice addressing me and the tapping on my face, it was the pressure from my full bladder that drew me out of my dreamless slumber and forced my eyelids open. I blinked rapidly, trying to focus my blurred eyes in order to take a look at my surroundings. As my vision cleared, I realized with a start that I wasn't in the room I'd first been taken to. I looked up to the woman leaning over me, wearing a pleased grin on her face. I recognized her as the one who'd taken my "donation". My face began to burn as I remembered the whole humiliating episode. Damn, talk about embarrassing. That memory was quickly followed by another one, of having seen Treize Kushrenada's face. Was my memory real or just some convoluted dream, I wondered? Those vague, blurred moments before I succumbed to the drug they'd given me came back slowly. Then I recalled the last fragmented words Kushrenada's double said to me, and I worked to string them together, trying to make sense of them. And suddenly, it hit me, and I almost swallowed my tongue in realizing what he meant.

Reacting immediately, my hands moved frantically to push down the blankets and pull up the loose purple shirt I had no memory of putting on. My eyes searched my pale torso, looking for evidence of some kind of tampering to my body. I can't even begin to describe how relieved I felt at not seeing a healing incision on my abdomen. It had just been a bad dream, I told myself, and I chuckle out loud at the ridiculousness of it. Me, pregnant? What a laugh! I covered myself again and looked up to see Tish regarding me with some humor herself.

"Sorry," I muttered. "Just looking for a scar or something."

"A scar!" she said, looking horrified. "We would never leave such a mark on a Chosen. There is a slight red indentation, however, just below your center cavity where the doctor inserted the now seed-implanted A.U. Have no fear, Chosen, the redness will fade in a few cycles."

I was afraid to ask but I did anyway. "A.U.?"

She looked at me, clearly puzzled. "The Artificial Uterus. Are you feeling unwell, Chosen?"

"Oh, God," I gasped, horrified by what had been done to me. "Bring Mueller here," I demanded in a strangled voice, panicking and having a hard time catching my breath. "I need to... speak with my... caretaker right... now. Please," As an act of preservation, I'd added the word please to my demand, hoping that by trying to be polite I wouldn't earn a mark on my collar by displaying my obvious upset. I was definitely on the verge of becoming hysterical and I'm pretty sure it showed because Tish high-tailed it out of there. Her absence gave me a few moments to try and gather my panicked wits and catch my breath. This is impossible, I kept telling myself. Men can't have babies. It wasn't natural. It can't be done. But something within me told me it was true, and that even though very little in this world made sense to me, it didn't mean it wasn't real.

Knowing I couldn't throw a fit like I had at the Correction Center, I tried to keep my turbulent emotions in check and to think about how to handle this new... situation, whether I would wring Mueller's neck to get all the information I could out of him, or kill him outright for not telling me the truth. I was still undecided when the blond man, my caretaker and focus of my ire, rushed into the room looking anxious.

Clutching the blanket in my fists and holding it up to my chest, I restrained myself from verbally lashing out until the door closed behind him and my deceitful, apprehensive-looking caretaker was standing next to my bed. "Why didn't you tell me the truth of what was going to happen today?" I snarled, my voice shaking as much as my body. "Pregnant? You let them put something inside of me to make me pregnant? Men aren't supposed to have uteruses, artificial or real inside of them. We aren't made for it, we don't work that way, and I had no idea that this was going to happen. This is wrong, wrong, wrong on so many levels, Mueller, that I can't even think straight. What the hell kind of a world is this where men have babies?"

"Calm yourself, Duwan," Mueller said in an low, controlled voice that further fueled my anger. He gave a nervous glance at the door behind him before continuing. "Your loud voice risks a mark and your agitation endangers the life within you while in this transition stage."

"And tell me why I should care?" I hissed. "You did this to me without my knowledge or consent."

"I take issue with you over that statement," the blond stated, as cool and calm as could be. "Duwan's agreement for this procedure is on a binding contract stating his consent to carry the seed-implanted A.U. He undertook this task in order to be compensated with a prosperous and good life before, during and after he fulfilled his contract. You spoke to Mistra Sallah and declared yourself that you comprehended the procedure, and so it was done."

"But I didn't understand it, did I?" I heeded Mueller's warning and lowered my voice a bit so that no one would report me to Hildah and earn me that dreaded mark. I've always prided myself in learning my life lessons the first time around. "You know that I'm not Duwan, I'm Duo Maxwell. I didn't agree to this procedure and you intentionally withheld the truth from me, didn't you?"

"It is my contracted duty to Mistra Hildah to see that Duwan fulfills his contract to her, that he complies to the letter of the contract in every way and, in Duwan's place, that responsibility has become yours. My present duty is to make certain that the life contained in the A.U. within your body is well cared for, and so I will serve you unwaveringly. I acknowledge that I sensed you might not want this honor, as observed from your reaction at the Correction Center, and so I withheld the truth even when I ascertained your ignorance. I have performed the duties of my contract thus far, and as of this cycle, you have begun to fulfill Duwan's contract with Mistra Hildah as well."

I ran a trembling hand through the hair hanging over my forehead. "I can't believe this is happening to me," I whispered to myself, horrified by the reality of my situation. "How is this even possible?"

"Your body has been prepared since Sallah administered the heramones after we returned from the Correction Center. Heramones assist the male body to accept the A.U. You will continue to receive the infusions until the last day of your gestation. You must and will take care of yourself, Duwan, for the life within you is just as much your progeny as it is our Mistra's."

Mueller's last sentence finally brought home the one thing that I'd managed to ignore. I set aside my justified indignation and shock to make room for the sudden realization that I was going to be a father. Somehow, I'd rapidly moved from being shocked and outraged to a state of awe as my trembling hand moved under the blanket and nightshirt to rub my flat stomach. "I never thought I'd have a child of my own," I said more to myself than my caregiver, still a bit overwhelmed by everything that had happened. "Funny, but I don't feel anything, not a bump, not sore..." I was, however, feeling mentally numb and definitely a bit calmer.

"And you will not feel anything for a while yet," Mueller responded, his face and voice softening with my change of mood. "You will most likely experience some illness as the weiks pass, which is standard, but we have medicinals to help ease some of the discomfort. The A.U. has been designed to successfully accelerate the rate of gestation from ine to sev turns. You should start to expand and feel the life within you by sesto weiks "

I'd figured out some of their words for numbers and figured he was saying I was going to deliver this baby in seven months instead of nine, and in six weeks my stomach would be getting bigger and I'd feel the life growing within me. I knew nothing about gestation periods, but that seemed pretty damn quick. I looked at Mueller for a moment, feeling conflicted, torn between the desire to either laugh hysterically or bawl my head off. This, I figured, had to be the most horrific and utterly fantastic thing that had ever happened to me.

As I slowly began to take the tiny steps towards accepting what had been done to me, the more curious part of my mind began to function once again and I wanted some answers. "Why do you do it this way? Why not have babies the natural way with the women conceiving and bearing them naturally?"

"Let me clothe you, and while doing so I will relate to you why our lives have taken a course that differs from the natural method of bearing our progeny," Mueller said, turning to grab the folded clothing on the stool hidden near the head of the bed. He helped me to sit up and removed the blanket and nightshirt from off of me. Once more, I explored my abdomen and found the faint red line Tish told mentioned earlier. Curious, I traced my finger over it, surprised to feel no pain. Meanwhile, Mueller opened the leg of my thong and paused, waiting for me to step into the support garment.

Taking the hint, I stepped off the bed and put my right foot into the opening just Mueller began to explain. "After our females came into power there was a great shortfall of men due to the Great War. That, in itself, would not have ceased the proliferation of the next generation, but the women in the upper casts became immersed in governing a broken Erith and in the restructuring of our society. They were driven to spend the majority of their lives working to save Erith and its people. While the lower levels of society continued to produce progeny aplenty, many of them lacked the leadership skills and higher intelligence to do the critical thinking needed to reform our society. Seeing that this was so, the leaders directed that the lower casts be given the more industrial tasks, a necessity for all in our society. Three color levels were established at that time: Blue, the rulers of our society, Red, their supporters, and Green, the workers."

He paused for a moment to reach for my pants, snapped them open with a sharp flick of his wrists, and began to put them on me as he continued. "The Matriarchal Counsel charged the greatest minds of those who remained after the conflicts, to help those females in the upper ranks to reproduce progeny without taking the ine months needed to carry a child in their body and then to find them the aid they required for the yars of progeny training that followed.

"Several yars later, the first A.U. was tested and proved successful. There were several mishaps, with losses of both progenitor and progeny. Then heramones were developed as well as rejection arresting medicinals that decreased the symptoms that had caused the previous failures. After a deca yar process, the A.U. was deemed completely successful.

During that period of time, it was discovered that males could successfully carry the offspring using the A.U. and young males, progeny of Blue and Red were asked to volunteer for the important societal task and were guaranteed a lucrative compensation. It was then that the Purple rank was formed and contracts were first drawn. Seedlings from Blue and Red were made viable when introduced to the Chosen's donation, producing progeny that ensures life on Erith will be maintained in an orderly, peaceful manner. The Chosens' service ensures the Red and Blue's lifelines do not vanish completely."

In a strange sort of way, Mueller's explanation made sense, but I still had more questions. "After your society flourished and established itself, why didn't you abolish this practice and go back to a more natural way of having offspring?" I asked as the shirt Mueller had slipped on me was being fastened.

"Because it functioned successfully," he replied simply. "As long as Blues and Reds require this service, there will always be Purples to contract with them so that they may continue to focus their attention on governing Erith."

Xxxxxxxxx

The journey back to the abode was made in relative silence as I considered all that had been said and done in the Life Center. I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant. I mean, how does a man come to accept such an unnatural thing? It had been hard enough for me to come to terms with the whole experience of being dropped into another world, but how was I to accept the fact that in this matriarchal society young men were contracted to carry babies that grew within an artificial uterus that was placed inside their bodies? Could I really accept that I was carrying a baby inside of me? I felt as if I were acting out a scene from of some sort of sci-fi movie. Unfortunately or not, I had just learned that what I once thought to be impossible was all too real.

Even though I've always had a good imagination, I don't think even I could have imagined the many new and unusual things that I'd encountered in Sangor. I decided that if I had somehow been asleep this whole time and that this was merely a long, protracted dream, the shock of being told I was pregnant should have wakened me. Given that this wasn't a dream, there was also the chance I was insane and living in a fabricated world conjured up in my own mind. If that were so, this place called Erith sure beat the hell out of my regular nightmares of living once again the dark and frightening existence I'd known on the streets of L-2 or caught in the middle of an unbeatable battle in space in Deathscythe having all the systems shut down and no communications to call for help. I hated those dreams the most.

Whatever my current reality was, a dimensional switch or the fabrication of a warped mind, I decided then and there to make the best of the situation. After all, there was now a child, or at least it would eventually be a child, growing inside of me.

A child. My child.

Each time that thought came to me my heart quickened. Though I was still feeling dazed and having a hard time wrapping my mind around the whole idea of being pregnant, I was definitely past feeling outraged and on the road to acceptance.

Something in my manner must have attracted Mueller's attention, for he studied me a moment before asking with concern, "Are you well, Duwan?"

With so many emotions swirling in my head, I could only look at him in wide-eyed wonder and whisper, "I really have a baby growing inside of me, don't I?" My caretaker responded with a smile and a nod of his head.

I closed my eyes to try and absorb the enormity of what was happening within me and the fact that I was going to be a dad! How crazy was that? But as usual, when I pause to think about something in depth, my mind begins to work overtime. I had barely come to terms with the crazy world I'd been dropped into, with its odd societal workings, and now I had something else to accept, something huge and life changing. Even though the reason why certain men on Erith carried the babies had been explained to me, it still felt wrong to my Earth-trained mind. Men having babies? What kind of a looney world could dream that idea up?

Then again, who was I, an interloper, to say they were wrong. Maybe the people Erith really had something here that had been missing in my own world, namely peace. Heaven knows Earth and the colonies have tried to find peace for centuries and somehow they always seem to come back to war as a final solution.

Would life have been better if women had been put in charge of running Earth? If men shared the burden of carrying their unborn children, would they be so anxious to risk their sons and daughters to war? Would Earth's violent past have been modified by those kinds of changes in the natural order? That thought was immediately usurped by the memory of Lady Une during the war, and I couldn't help but shudder. I suppose women, like men, might fall prey to great power, letting it go to their heads, and that they, too, could become ruthless and cruel. I'll never forget how Une's threat to open fire on the colonies if the gundams didn't surrender to them resulted in Heero self-destructing Wing. An involuntary shudder shook me in response to that memory. It had been the source of many nightmares resulting in my clinging to Heero for hours after I'd awakened in a cold sweat. I deliberately put those thoughts and my questions aside for consideration on another day when I wasn't feeling quite so overwhelmed.

Turning my mind back to the baby, I decided that I was going to be the best father I could possibly be, despite my lack of knowing of how to be one. Not having had a father, I didn't have an example to follow. But on second thought, I knew I'd been fortunate to have Howard and some of the sweepers step into that role while I trained under G; and, of course, there had been Father Maxwell. I decided to take the best of those men, their honesty, honor, patience, affection and care and adopt those attributes when I became a father. That meant that I needed to make some changes. I needed to be a better man.

I thought briefly about the life that I'd left behind, wondering what I truly had to offer a child. I'd had a past that had hurt me in so many, many ways. With luck, my street skills and savvy, I managed to survive not only a grim childhood on the streets, but also two wars, and I considered myself the luckiest person alive when I wound up with Heero as my lover. Unfortunately, I've learned that all good things come with a price . I followed Heero into his chosen profession, just to be near him and make him happy, and found myself saddled with a job that I hated and, later, had my heart broken by my lover's suspected infidelity.

There's no doubt about it, I'd come to Erith an unhappy person, and suddenly, unexpectedly, my whole life had drastically changed. Maybe it was that balance in the universe thing again. From the pain and ugliness of my past, I'd come to live in a world of beauty, in a position of being valued and bringing life into the world instead of taking it. Did I even dare to believe that I was worth this... honor? At that very moment, in light of the day's events, it was clear to me that I needed to let go of my hope of ever returning to Heero, of my nightmarish past and the life I'd once known. It was time to relinquish my life on Earth to where it belonged, to the past. I hadn't wanted to accept the fact that from the moment I landed in Erith, my life on Earth, the good and the bad, was forever behind me. But with a new life growing within me and the prospect of being a dad, I knew that was what I needed to do.

Sitting across from Mueller in the transport tube on the way back to the abode, I let it sink into me that I had truly been given a new lease on life, an incredible opportunity to create a life and to accept the important role I had in this society. Although there were aspects of Erith that I frowned on, there was peace here, unlike any I'd ever known before. I made the decision to accept my place in Erith, accept my role as Duwan, a Chosen, and everything that went with that title. Life there wasn't so bad after all, I decided. A smile grew on my face with that final acceptance, and I found that some of the constant ache in my heart had eased. It still hurt when I thought of Heero, believing that I would never see him again. I knew a part of me would always love and want him, that I would miss and mourn the loss of him as well as my friends for many years to come. Even so, I knew I could have a good life on Erith simply because I was in the process of doing something good, something incredible and worthwhile. I had a purpose here; I was going to be a dad. My heart felt lighter and I had the unique feeling of being hopeful for my future. The grin on my face broadened and, without a doubt, I knew I was going to be wearing it for some time to come.

Ignorance is bliss, I've come to realize, for little did I know then, in that moment of acceptance and happiness, that it was going to be short lived when I learned of yet more secrets that Mueller had been keeping from me.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14 Trouble Comes In Threes

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 14 - Trouble Comes in Threes**

Life as I'd known it slowed to a more sedate pace after that shocking, momentous day when I learned that I was carrying mine and Hildah's child in my body. Hildah was ecstatic at the apparently successful implantation of the A.U. as the first week passed with no sign that my body was rejecting the foreign, man-made uterus. After the first two crucial weeks had passed, she decided a celebration was called for. The gathering at our abode was to take place several days later. Walker was put in charge of preparing and presenting the food and drink and Mistra Hildah rushed off in a blur of red robes to invite her guests personally.

It was at this gathering that I was to meet my friends' counterparts once again. Kattron, not surprisingly, wore deep magenta colored clothing that was elegant yet still masculine on his tall, slender frame. Other than his more ample height and shoulder-length, loose hair, the blond so closely resembled my friend that just looking at him made my heart ache from missing him. I knew that Quatre would be worrying about me, probably making himself sick.

My eyes sought out Herron and found him standing dutifully at Relna's side. I observed her and Dorothy's double as they spoke with each other; they seemed to be quite chummy. I studied Dorothy's double for a moment. There were some slight physical differences between the Dorothy I knew and this one. First, this Dorothy hair was of a softer blonde color and it was cut bluntly at her shoulders. I have to admit that I was glad to see that her Erith twin didn't seem to fancy the forked eyebrows the Dorothy I knew favored. They'd always kind of freaked me out. Yet the first shock of the evening had come when this version of Dorothy had come through our door on the arm of Kattron, and that her other arm had been linked with Trowa's double. Seeing that the twin of Dorothy was paired with Kattron was enough to startle me, but it was nothing compared to how I felt the moment my eyes took in that fact that Tradell had an enormous bulging belly. I guess I hadn't noticed it when I first met him at the museum because he'd been sitting down behind a table. Now, having been enlightened about Purples' function in this society, it was impossible not to see he was in the same condition as I was, only more advanced, much more advanced.

As I stood by Mistra Hildah's side, I tried to keep an eye on my three former friends, noticing more than once that two of them had their eyes on me as well. I was dying to talk to Tradell, to ask him the many questions I had about male pregnancy, but Mueller had instructed me to stay at Hildah's side until she formally dismissed me. I was told to see to her needs, that I was to feed her any food she wanted to sample and to make sure she had a drink in her hand at all times.

At that point, I was learning to be grateful for small things, and that night it was Hildah's lack of appetite due to her excitement. While at her side, I smiled politely and remained silent, speaking only when asked a direct question, as instructed. Along with my Chooser, I accepted happy felicitation from the guests as well as speculations on how attractive our progeny would be.

After all the guests had arrived and enjoyed at least some of the food, Hildah excused me to do as I pleased. My caretaker, standing only a few feet from me, went to the kitchen to see how Walker was coping with the demands of the evening and I hightailed it to Tradell with all my questions poised on the tip of my tongue. Mueller had instructed me that I could speak to anyone within Purple rank at a social gathering but that I mustn't speak to those of a higher color unless they spoke to me first. All the rules of etiquette in Erith's society made my head swim.

As I approached the tall redhead it was obvious that he was pleased to see me. "Duwan," Tradell said warmly, smiling so brightly that I had to blink not to be blinded by it.

"It's good to see you again," I told him. "Are you... well?"

The other man nodded and reached forward and pulled me into his arms. It felt odd for me to be hugging Trowa's duplicate. Sure, Trowa and I were friends, but we weren't the hugging type of friends that Quatre and I were. He'd always been a bit distant when it came to any physical expression of our friendship, and stiff during the few times I attempted to embrace him like I did Quatre. Sensing his discomfort wasn't easing off, I stopped doing it after a while and gave him a playful punch in the arm instead. It was pretty obvious that Tradell didn't have the same problem, though I have to say it was a bit awkward hugging a man with a stomach the size of a basketball. Despite the clumsiness the embrace was warm and I could almost imagine it was my friend reassuring me that everything was fine, here and back at home.

After we parted, I focused my eyes on his bulging belly. "How much longer?" I asked.

The green eyes dropped to follow my line of sight. "Sez weiks until her arrival," he replied as his hands came up and gently caressed the rotund belly. "She is moving, anxious to be out. Would you like to feel her movements?"

"More than anything," I answered eagerly. I reached out my hand towards the other man's belly only to find it clasped by Tradell. He guided me to the lower right side of the bulge, next to his ribs. He held my hand in that place until I felt a sharp push against it. Looking up at him, feeling an overwhelming sense of wonder at having felt life within the other man's body, I asked, "How does it feel from the inside?"

Tradell's smile was soft, almost dreamy as he replied, "Odd, but I like it. Her movements are painful at times but they remind me that she is very much alive."

"You care deeply for the one you carry, don't you?" I asked, and by the startled look on Tradell's face it was easy to see that my simple question startled the green-eyed man.

"Yes, of course," he stated wide eyed. Then the startled expression faded, replaced by one of great affection as he added, "She is Kattron's progeny."

I couldn't help the smile I gave back to him. It seemed so right that even in a different place and/or time that those two men were linked to each other. Tradell loved Kattron, one of his Choosers.

Feeling a hand snake around my waist, I turned and wasn't too surprised to see Herron standing very close to me. His proximity and touch made me feel as if I was being publically claimed.

"Felicitations, Duwan," Herron said in a low, suggestive voice as he leaned over and placed a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Thanks," I replied, and it suddenly dawned on me that Herron, also a Chosen, would go through what Tradell and I were experiencing. The mental image of my very masculine Heero being pregnant almost made me laugh out loud. "So when are you going to be a carrier?" I asked, and I couldn't keep the grin off my face.

"I continue to recover from Naylor's coming. I have at least another yar before I fulfill the last of my contract."

It still surprised me how cut and dry this society was, but I was beginning to understand it better. I'd learned from Mueller that the Chosen typically contracted for two A.U. insertions. The first child was always engineered to be a girl and the second a boy. Therefore, Naylor had to be Herron's daughter.

Looking at Tradell's distended belly, and knowing very well that Herron's was smooth, flat and unscarred, gave me some measure of comfort that carrying a baby inside of me wouldn't be too traumatic on my body. I decided that if these two men could pull off a pregnancy, then so could I.

"Has the sickness begun?" Tradell asked, turning my attention back to him.

I shook my head, liking the feel of my loose hair swishing against the thin and nearly sheer material covering my back. "No, but Mueller tells me it will come in another few weiks if it comes at all." I knew the sickness he was referring to was called morning sickness in my world, and I guessed that even in a medically advanced society like this one that it wasn't completely escapable.

"My sickness was dreadful," the redhead said sadly. "But Kattron found an extract from a herbaceous plant that soothed the upset. If it would please you, I will request he send some to Mistra Hildah for your use and comfort."

I smiled with gratitude at the man I was coming to like more and more. "Yeah, I'd like that, thanks." As I spoke with Tradell, I felt Herron's hand slowly slipping down my back until he took a firm hold of my left butt cheek. I wasn't sure how to react to that, not knowing if public affection was frowned on in this setting. Regardless, I wasn't used to it. Heero and I had always been careful about public displays of affection, not wanting to offend others. I shot a nervous glance around the room to see if anyone had noticed, if they cared. No one seemed to take exception to Heero's hand, placed strategically on my bottom, so I could only guess it was alright. After a while, I got used to the touch, but I kept casting furtive glances about the room, looking for any sign of disapproval. I didn't want to do anything that might earn me a mark.

"You spoke of your desire to visit me at my abode, Duwan, but have yet to follow through," Tradell said, looking at me oddly. I tried to focus my attention on him and not on how Herron's possessive hand made me feel, but it was difficult. Yet having kept my eyes on Tradell, I could have sworn that the redhead was pouting. It was another expression I'd never seen on Trowa's face.

As Herron's grip shifted, turning his hand to let his fingers wander along the crevice there, I found myself wondering what my relationship was with the very pregnant man in front of me. "Well, with the accident and then the implantation I've been kind of busy," I replied.

"Are you repulsed by my shape?"

My eyes widened. That was the last thing I'd expected him to ask, especially in a social setting with Herron standing next to me pawing my ass. "No..no. Not at all. You look... beautiful," I told him, and truthfully, he did. I guess pregnant men glow as much as I'd heard women do in that physical state.

A hopeful expression replaced the look of insecurity he'd worn a moment before. "Then perhaps you can come to my abode soon, before your sickness begins and I reach the time of removal. I could ask Dorothea if she could arrange it with Mistra Hildah."

I winced as Herron's grip turned painful and the situation became much more clear to me. "Can you have a visit in your advanced condition?" I looked doubtful at his large belly.

"We have been creative before," he smiled knowingly at me. "I'm sure we can devise something interesting as well as mutually enjoyable."

The whole situation had become more bizarre with each passing minute. I fought the urge to run to my room and hide in my closet from the soap opera life I was living. Duwan was obviously involved with both Purples. Herron's jealousy indicated he knew of his involvement with Tradell, but with the conversation they'd just had, I wondered if Tradell knew about Herron. I thought the close proximity of Heero's duplicate and his roaming hand pretty much displayed that we were lovers. Becoming a bit overwhelmed, I decided that I needed to speak to Mueller, immediately. I whipped my head around in a frantic search for the man who'd kept me in the dark about a whole lot of shit.

"I'll get back to you on that, all right?" I told Tradell, my eyes still searching the room. "Mueller wanted me to do... something, so I'd better find him. I'll catch up with you later." Breaking free of Herron's groping hand, I fled from the two stunned-looking Purples and made a beeline to my familiar caretaker who I found standing in a corner observing the gathering while talking to another man with brown hair and of the same rank of color. As I approached him, he straightened, sensing my upset. Moving close to his side I hissed in a low voice and between gritted teeth, "I need to speak with you. Now." Taking his arm, I pulled him down the hallway, paused in front of the door until it opened, then rushed us both into my resting space.

Once the doors slid closed behind us, I turned to look up at the taller man while planting my fists on my hip bones, trying hard not to take a swing at the bastard. "Okay," I snapped irritably. "It's pretty clear to me now that Duwan is involved with both Herron and Tradell, right? Oh, and thanks loads for the heads up, man. Is there anyone else he's sleeping with that I should know about?"

"Not in the vicinity of Sangor, no," the other man replied straight faced. "But when Mistra Hildah returned to her place of beginning, you have engaged in bed activities with her ally's Chosen, Rellardo, Relna's younger sib."

I definitely hadn't been expecting that answer, and other than feeling a bit sick to my stomach I felt a definite headache coming on. Sib? That could only mean sibling, a brother. "Does he have very light colored hair, possibly long and light blue eyes?"

"Yes," Mueller answered and then took hold of my hand when I groaned. "Duwan?"

"Great, just great!" I moaned, jerking my hand away from the other man's grasp. "I'm doing the nasty with Milliardo Peacecraft's double! The guy hates my guts in my world and here in Erith we're doing the horizontal tango."

"I don't understand anything you are saying," Mueller said with a puzzled look on his face.

"Duwan's had sex with someone who hates me in my world!" I said, my voice rising to an almost hysterical pitch.

"He does not hate you here," he answered calmly with a trace of a smile on his face. "Though you should know that Herron is not too pleased to be sharing you with the other two attachments you've formed. "

"Well thanks for the day-after newsflash," I snapped. "He about took my butt off out there while Tradell was trying to set up a sleep over."

Mueller frowned. "He had been warned by both Mistras Relna and Hildah regarding his possessiveness. He knows he can not contract a claim with you, making you his own until you have both completed your current contracts."

"So it's alright in your society for people to be openly intimate with more than one person?" I was beginning to think I'd never figure this place out. Every time I turned around something new slapped me in the face.

"It is not an encouraged arrangement, but it is not stipulated in your contract that you cannot have more than one intimate involvement."

"It seems like Duwan's a Purple magnet," I said, scratching my head. "How'd he get involved with three guys at once?"

"He met Herron first, during the time when Hildah was still working to gain Duwan's favor. She purposely acquainted the two with the hope that Herron would convince Duwan that she would be a good Chooser. Duwan told me that there had been many who had inquired after him and scouts from all over Erith were sent to his materna to offer for him, even before he reached the required age of sevdecca yars. He choose Hildah not only because she made the best offer, but because he had met and felt an attachment for Relna's Chosen and desired to be closer to him."

I knew from past conversations with Mueller that materna meant mother, and in this world it made sense that anyone wanting to contract Duwan as their Chosen when he turned seventeen would have to go to the female in his family and not the father, the faterna. The fact that Duwan had fallen head over heels for Herron at first sight shouldn't have surprised me, because that's basically what happened to me with Heero, when I gazed into those blue eyes of his while rescuing him from an Alliance hospital.

"Then how did the other two come to be his... intimates?" I was getting better, but found myself frequently struggling to come up with the words Erithian's used that were similar yet different from words I was more familiar with.

"Herron had a difficult gestation period and wasn't allowed bed guests. Duwan became acquainted with Tradell at a social gathering and quickly grew attached to the other Chosen's gentle ways and quiet need for an intimate. Kattron saw an attachment being formed between his Chosen and Duwan and asked Mistra Hildah if she would agree to you spending time with Tradell and becoming his bed companion. It appears that Kattron regards it his duty to Tradell to assure that his Chosen is content in all aspects of his life."

"And Rellardo?" What a name.

"A long vacation with nothing and no one to do." Muller smiled at his own attempt at being witty.

"Hardy har har," I replied humorlessly and my shoulders slumped as I realized my double was something of a male-slut. "So, am I expected to carry on with these three in order to keep up the facade of being Duwan?"

"Not necessarily," Mueller said, putting a hand on my shoulder to offer a bit of comfort. "Rellardo's Chooser's abode is far from here. You will probably not meet again for several yars, after your's and his contracts have been fulfilled. By then he might have chosen and contracted someone for himself. As for Tradell, his advanced gestation could be a justifiable reason for not negotiating a bed visit with him. Herron, however, is not going to be set aside as effortlessly," he continued. "He had often displayed his possessiveness of Duwan and his attention, as you saw this eventide. Duwan carefully balances his two favorites, especially when the three of them are in a gathering such as this. Tradell is more accepting of the situation, but he won't tolerate Herron keeping you from him."

"Yeah, I think I got a good look at how the two operate tonight," I replied, thinking of the earlier scene and how it had played out. "Herron was staking a claim and Tradell ignored him until he thought I wasn't attracted to him, then he acted hurt." Between the two of them, I'd felt like a ball on a ping-pong table and they were the paddles, both vying for control over the me while taking shots at each other.

With our conversation finished, Mueller led me out of the room by my hand, only to be met in the hallway by Herron. "Persistent, isn't he?" I asked my caretaker under my breath, only to receive an affirmative grunt from him in return. As he approached, I had to admire the other Chosen. Herron was wearing an outfit similar to the one he'd worn to my bedroom that first night. Long, satin-like pants and that damned see-through shirt. He was beautiful, and at the moment he only had eyes for me. A shiver of delight tickled its way up my spine. It was hard to imagine that flat stomach of his was ever as big as Tradell's. As he drew closer, I noted the dark, sculpted eyebrows were drawn together, a sure sign Herron was unhappy about something. Mueller discretely left us standing alone in the hallway together with the sounds of the party in the other room floating towards us.

"What?" I asked.

"Stop dallying with Tradell while I'm present. You know how much I dislike it."

"Listen, Herron," I began, not used to dealing with a jealous lover. Heero had been rather possessive of me at times, but it wasn't due to jealousy or even mistrust - I'd never given him any reason to justify those negative feelings. He just seemed to want to be with me and to protect me. My mind wandered back to Earth for a brief moment, wondering what had changed between us over the time we'd been together. Heero had gone from wanting to be with only me to, if Quatre had been correct, sleeping with one of our friends. I remember telling Heero, after we'd first gotten together, that fidelity was tantamount to our success as a couple. That memory left a bitter knot in my stomach. Now that we'd both slept with other people, I guessed our relationship was really over. I mentally smacked myself in the head for that thought. Of course our relationship was over. I was here in Erith, in a completely different universe, far out of reach of him and unable to ever find out the truth regarding Heero infidelity.

I looked into Herron's eyes, so like Heero's but much more open. It was obvious he was feeling hurt and jealous and trying hard to hold it in. I found myself feeling sorry for him, especially when I remembered seeing a similar look in Quatre's eyes when he spoke to me of his suspicions, believing that Trowa was seeing Heero on the sly. It had been clear that my friend had felt betrayed and was deeply hurt. Recognizing that same look in Herron's eyes and understanding it better now, bought out feelings of sympathy and compassion for him, for Duwan putting him in this predicament. I stepped closer to him, took him by the shoulders and placed a lingering, not-so-chaste kiss on his lips, hoping to alleviate at least some of his pain.

"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable and unhappy," I whispered into his ear after breaking off the kiss and hugging him tightly. "I'm kind of overwhelmed at the moment, Herron, but I'll straighten out this mess soon, all right?"

Herron pulled back slightly and studied my face. I was glad to see some of the pain had receded from his eyes and his expression soften at my apology. "I do not enjoy having to share you," he said, his voice soft yet earnest.

I hugged him again after seeing the deep sincerity shining in his blue eyes that were suddenly bright from the extra moisture welling in them. It was obvious to me that he was hopelessly in love with Duwan.

"Let us draw back to your resting space," he whispered to me.

"Now?" I asked, surprised. "There's a party going on. I'm not sure I can leave."

Herron pressed his body up against mine, and through the flimsy cloth of our clothing I could feel evidence of his desire for me. "I only need a few inits."

"That doesn't sound too satisfying," I said with my breath catching in my throat and my heart speeding up as he began to rock his pelvis up against my hip.

"I need you."

Those three words, spoken in a shaky voice filled with such neediness, made it impossible for me to resist him. I nodded my head and found my hand clasped a moment before I was rushed down the hall and back to my resting space. Once inside the room, Herron proved to be just as capable and thorough as my own mission driven Heero had ever been.

We returned to the party roughly fifteen minutes later, flushed and smiling, only to find Kattron trying to comfort a visibly upset Tradell who burst into tears upon seeing Herron and myself enter the main room together, hand in hand.

""""""""""

"I ask your forgiveness," I said while standing repentant before Hildah later that night, after all the guests had gone. My head was bowed and hands at were at my side in a pose of contrition, as Mueller instructed.

"There is no excuse for the scene you created tonight," Hildah scolded me as she sat imperiously in her maroon-colored chair. "Tradell is near to his time and it appeared as if you purposely set out to upset him. Kattron and Dorothea are very displeased with you."

"I didn't mean to upset him." I rushed to explain myself. "I'd... forgotten we were involved and Herron was upset, too. I had a lapse of memory and judgement and I'm sorry for it."

There was a long stretch of silence before Hildah spoke again. "I will consider your recent accident and your continued lapse of memory as a valid reason for this eventide's fiasco. You will retire to your space and carefully consider what you will say to Tradell next cycle and how to speak your regret to Kattron and Dorothea." She then looked away from me, a clear sign that I had been dismissed.

I more or less backed myself out of the room and stormed back to my bedroom. "Stupid! How someone could get involved with two people at the same time is beyond me," I grumbled. As I approached my room, I wondered if Heero ever found himself conflicted over Trowa and me. A bitter laugh escaped my lips. How ironic, I thought, that in this world _I_ was the person with two lovers who just happened to look like Heero and Trowa, the two who had betrayed me in my former life.

Mueller let me into my room the moment I banged my fist on the door. He hovered by my side while patiently listening to me rant about the evils of having more than one lover. As I carried on, my caretaker undressed me and began the task of putting on my nightshirt and brushing out my hair. I'd gotten so used to him doing these mundane chores for me that I didn't think twice about lifting my feet and arms to aid him as he performed his duties.

"What am I going to do? Hildah says I'm to go next cycle to speak my regrets to Tradell and his Choosers. What do I say to them? How do I handle this situation?"

"We spoke of this earlier," Mueller calmly reminded me, "yet I cannot truly counsel you as to what you should do. Duwan cares strongly for both Chosens, desires them and their happiness, and they freely return such feelings. Tradell will be grievously offended if you turn away from him, particularly in his current emotional state. I can only counsel you to be gentle with him, view him as Duwan would. My task would not willingly harm Tradell, and he strove not to speak to either Purple of the other, knowing they were both aware and not altogether content to share him. Duwan was very adept at managing his two familiars, his centers, keeping both satisfied yet separate, never speaking to them of the other nor displaying favoritism."

"So I royally bungled it. Tonight was just a disaster waiting to happen, wasn't it?" I suddenly felt very tired, and the fact that Mueller was brushing my hair slowly and speaking in a quiet tone didn't help.

"You are untried in handling multiple intimates," my caretaker said sympathetically. Setting the hair brush down on the nearest table, he led me by the hand to my bed and helped me into it, then pulled the covers up and over me. "Rest now. You've had a long, trying cycle. On the rise of the new cycle, I'll bathe you and brush your hair until it shines before we go to meet with Tradell and his Choosers."

As tired as I was, I spent a good hour after Mueller left me lying in my bed and going over what I would say the next day. When I finally fell asleep, my dreams were twisted as the two universes entwined and melded together. Heero and Herron were engaged in a knockdown, drag-out fight over me while Trowa and Tradell stood on the sidelines and urged them on. I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache and a feeling of dread that was as big as a bread box in the pit of my belly. A day at a time, I told myself, recalling the task that had been set for me that day. I just had to get through today, I told myself, then tomorrow would be better. I held onto that oft-repeated phrase, knowing that I was going to be walking into uncharted territory that day, facing a hurt, pregnant man who had only the night before expressed a desire to have creative sex with me. Then there was his protective Chooser, who had given me a look the night before that clearly expressed his desire to give me a mark. Tomorrow couldn't come and go fast enough for me.

TBC


	15. Chapter 15 Go with the flow

**Through the Vortex  
Part 15 - Go with the flow**

Mueller explained to me that Tradell's contract was something out of the ordinary. The child he carried in his artificial, inseminated uterus was the product of Kattron and his match, Dorothea, a Blue. Their daughter would be a born a Blue, and their next child, a son, would be a deep Red like his father. What puzzled me as I'd observed Tradell the night before was that he obviously loved the child he was carrying, even though it wasn't biologically his.

As I was being delivered to Kattron and Dorothea's abode the next morning, I thought of Tradell and of his large distended belly. I found myself mentally groping for what I was going to say to him. I was being sent to their abode to apologize, yet how to do it had been left up to me. Different approaches kept bumping around in my head like a ball being bounced around the inside of a pinball machine. I finally decided to play it by ear, not always my most successful way of accomplishing something.

I was a wound up bundle of nerves by the time Mueller led me to the blue door in the high-rise building occupied by the higher ranks. Ty, Tradell's caretaker, was there to greet us the moment the doors swished opened. I recognized him immediately as the person Mueller had been speaking to the night before when I dragged him into my room for our little heart to heart. Initially, when the doors to the abode had opened, a look of relief shone in the brunet's brown eyes, but his expression quickly changed to one of disapproval as he ushered us inside, letting me know without speaking that he was unhappy with me for upsetting his task the night before.

I was given a slight reprieve, or so I thought, when I wasn't immediately led to Tradell's room but into another area of the large dwelling that appeared to be an office or study. My nervousness increased in seeing Kattron sitting in that room behind a modest sized desk, studying an object that looked similar to a palm pilot. The blond man, dressed in his magenta color clothing, looked up at our entrance and immediately put his work down and stood to greet us. Both Mueller and I bowed our heads until the higher-ranked man began to speak.

"Greetings to you Chosen Duwan. Mueller," Kattron said, sounding grave. From the corner of my eye I could see Ty moving to stand in a corner, well out of the way, and I was suddenly afraid that I was about to be punished, remembering how Hildah had asked Mueller to step back before she set off my neck band and sent my body into hell. I didn't have long to dwell on my remembered horror as the blond man before me began to speak.

"Reminding you of how sensitive Tradell is during this last stage of gestation should be unnecessary, Duwan, and yet I must remonstrate with you the upset he felt last eventide because of your blatant favoritism towards Herron. Your actions were cruel and hurtful. Will you speak in your own defense?"

I bowed a bit more deeply, hoping I was showing the man who could hurt me that I was truly sorry. "I assure you my hurting Tradell was unintentional," I told him. "I humbly request yours and Tradell's forgiveness. Truthfully, I was trying to reassure both he and Herron of my..." And here is where I stumbled to come up with the right word. I wouldn't lie and say I loved them, but I was dedicated to fulfilling Duwan's obligations. I continued speaking when I came up with a suitable world. "... of my devotion to each of them and it turned out all wrong. I'm here to express my regrets to him as well as to you and Mistra Dorothea."

"As you should," Kattron stated coolly, apparently still unhappy. It felt odd being put in my place by this man who looked so like my friend Quatre, especially when knowing he had the power to really hurt me because of his higher rank. I've always tried to avoid being at the receiving end of Quatre's disapproval - not able to bear the look of hurt in his eyes - and having it come from someone who looked and sounded so much like my compassionate, caring friend, well... it stung.

"I have been forthright in speaking to Tradell regarding his involvement with you, Duwan. Despite my admonitions towards caution and his knowledge of your interest in Herron, he declares boldly to me that you are his center. Our Chosen's affection is a precious gift, Duwan, and we will not take it lightly if he is hurt."

"I'd never intentionally hurt Tradell," I earnestly told the man in red and fought the urge to touch the collar of punishment at my neck. "I'm sure Mistra Hildah has told you of my recent accident and loss of memory. I truly regret any actions on my part that made him feel badly, but as you mentioned, he's extremely sensitive right now, and if you'll allow me, I'd like to make amends."

Kattron paused a moment to consider my request. "Very well," he said at last. "I will only allow this because he cares deeply for you. I find it necessary to give you notice, Duwan, that if you cause him to be hurt again I will have no recourse but to sever your interaction with him, no matter how much Tradell pleads your cause. Ty." Kattron broke off speaking to me in order to address the other caretaker and doing so without taking his steady gaze from me. "Take Chosen Duwan to Tradell. Mueller." I felt relieved when he finally turned his eyes and attention towards my caretaker. "If no other necessity calls you away, you may stay with Ty in his resting space until Duwan is ready to take his leave."

"My gratitude," Mueller said bowing, and together we moved back towards the door with Ty preceding us. Once out in the hallway, my caretaker gave me a nod of approval and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, wordlessly wishing me luck. Holding hands, second nature to me now, we followed the brunet from the room and towards Tradell's resting space.

I swallowed hard, knowing there was no way I was going to be able to get out of this situation. I was once again trapped by the rules of this strange society and I really didn't believe I had a way out. I wondered as we walked through the abode, and not for the first time, how I'd come to the point of having given up all hope of returning to Earth and accepting my place as Duwan, a Chosen on Erith. Had I really had any choice but to accept it?

My mind jumped back to what seemed like a lifetime ago, to one particular hot day in the tropics just after I'd arrived on Earth with Deathscythe at the beginning of the war. I'd spent the entire day under the sun with Howard. He'd taken me from his large ocean vessel on a fast moving skiff to a beach on some island in the Pacific Ocean for a training session after having learned of my lack of swimming skills. At first the ocean was a frightening thing to me, so foreign to my former life on L2. I'd stood on the white sand beach, staring at the enormous mass of water and the large swells that rose up and eventually crested just a few feet below the walkway of a nearby pier. The rapidly moving swell curled and crashed, rolling turbulent foam towards the shoreline. Howard had pointed out several people in the water who were balancing on top of surfboards and riding the waves while others rode on their bellies on something he called a boogie board. He'd grabbed my wrist and while laughing like a raving lunatic, dragged my reluctant body into the water behind him.

We waded out until we were waist deep in the ocean and I was startled by the unusual feeling of the water flowing around my body. The waves coming in pushed me forcefully towards shore while the undercurrent, flowing back out, pulled me towards greater depths. Howard had pointed to a larger than usual swell coming towards us, and looking at me with a toothy grin, gave me some quick instructions.

"Here comes a big one, Duo," he'd said, eyes alight with excitement. "You've got three choices. You can stand here and let it crash on top of you, sending you rolling uncontrollably under water, or you can escape it by diving into the wave just as it crests. Lastly, you can turn around and go with the flow, letting the water carry you along with it. That's what I plan to do, kiddo. No pain and a hell of a ride."

Those were my options. I followed Howard's example and turned sideways, eyeing the large wave as it rolled nearer. I remember thinking that I was about to die because I could barely swim; and there was Howard, pitting me against a watery wall of nature.

As the wave began to curl above me, my feet lifted off the ground and I let the mass of water pick me up. With the frantic movements of my arms and legs, the wave carried me forward. I held my breath and moved within the roiling water towards the shore. Being surrounded by all that water scared me at first, but then I experienced what it was like to be one with nature, to be accepted into the curl of that wave and to go with the flow. Once Howard and I picked ourselves off the shore, we laughed our heads off and went back for more.

In remembering that afternoon with Howard, I realized that my adjusting to Erith had been like watching that first large wave moving unstoppably towards me. There were very few options given to me once I'd figured out what was going on, and I'd chosen to go with the flow, taking up the role of Duwan rather than having everything come crashing down on me. I was catching the wave rather than being drowned by it. Had I taken the coward's way out? I didn't think so. I'd like to believe my actions had been motivated by a sense of self preservation. Walking down the hallway towards Tradell's room, I once again found myself being faced with something that was way out of my league, an unknown just as that wave had been years before, but this time it came down to appeasing a very upset, pregnant man. Was the universe laughing at me?

The door to what I guessed was Tradell's resting space opened and Ty stepped aside, motioning me into the room with a wave of his hand. With a final squeeze of my hand, Mueller leaned over and whispered into my ear, "I will wait with Ty. We have no other tasks to complete this cycle so remember my words and do what you must and without haste." He then let go of my hand and from that moment I knew it was up to me to straighten out the mess that was Duwan's love life.

I knew exactly what Mueller implied by saying, "Do what you must", but I wasn't sure I could do what I knew was expected of me. I felt guilty enough for having hot and heavy sex with someone who looked and sounded just like my lover on Earth, but Tradell looked like my best friend's lover, someone Quatre had been head over heels in love with since they first met, someone he suspected was cheating on the both of us with Heero. And that wasn't the only problem. The man in the bedroom was not only pregnant, but very, very pregnant. Oh boy.

As Mueller stepped back, I really had no choice other than to step into the room. My steps forward were small and tentative and I nervously wiped my sweaty palms against the soft fabric of my loose pants. The doors shut behind me, sealing me in with whatever fate had in store for me.

"Duwan?" The voice calling my double's name was exactly like Trowa's, but the only time my friend's voice had ever sounded that uncertain and tremulous was when I found him at the circus after he'd suffered amnesia. I took a deep breath and moved towards the bed on shaky legs. The large-bellied man was lying in the center of the large mattress and surrounded by soft, satin-like pillows, shielding most of his body from view.

"Greetings, Tradell," I said with forced cheerfulness while sitting on the edge of his bed. "I've come to express my deep regret for making you feel badly last eventide. I didn't do it intentionally and I hope you're not too angry with me."

The pale face that turned to me had red-rimmed and puffy eyes, signs of a long bout of crying. A pale, delicate hand came out from under a pillow and was held out to me in invitation. I put my hand in his and let him direct me to move closer to him. "I am not angry with you, Duwan, only pleased that you have come to me at last." To prove this, he managed a shaky smile. "I know I acted foolish and emotional. I regret my outburst that embarrassed you and caused trouble with our Choosers. You did not receive a mark because of my actions, did you?" There was a sudden look of fear in the bright green eyes, suggesting to me that Tradell knew of the pain inflicted by the neck band.

I was leaning over several pillows by then, with our faces a foot apart when I noticed that several others were strategically placed, supporting Tradell's very large belly. "You were right to be upset. I didn't handle the situation very well, did I? And no, I didn't get a mark, just a verbal reprimand by both Hildah and Kattron. But enough of that." I smiled down on him. "I'm here to spend time with you."

That little statement earned me a true smile that showed more emotion than I'd ever seen from Trowa. I reminded myself that this wasn't a former gundam pilot nor my best friend's cheating lover, but a person who merely looked like him and who was currently looking at me with cupids floating around in his watery eyes. The man in front of me appeared so vulnerable and from the expression of adoration on his face, he was obviously in love with Duwan. I wondered if maybe such an expression had won Trowa Quatre's love... and maybe even Heero's. Becoming increasingly nervous from the intensity of Tradell's loving gaze, I didn't think about the ramification of my next question until later. "So, what do you want to do?"

Those words came back to haunt me later that day when I was led back to our abode by Mueller. I really hadn't expected a pregnant man with a belly that big to ask that we have sex right at the get go. I sort of figured I'd be able to skirt around it somehow, or maybe even slowly work up to it. Tradell obviously had other ideas.

Encouraged by the pregnant man's pleading and hope -filled eyes, his soft words, contented sighs and talented, roaming hands, I'd pretty much undressed the both of us, leaving only my flimsy undergarment on myself. Looking at Tradell's firm, round belly, seeming so out of place on his otherwise trim figure, I reverently ran my hands over the taunt skin and felt the child beneath it give an enthusiastic kick. I was fascinated and in complete awe over what was going on inside the other man. I recalled that he'd said the night before that he had six weeks to go before the baby was born. If I considered him huge now, what would he be like by the time the baby was delivered? It came to me suddenly that in a few months I'd be in the same condition as Tradell, sporting a large, round belly. It was sobering and somewhat frightening to think about.

"What does it feel like to have life growing inside of you?" I asked the man lying unashamedly naked before me and watching me with a soft smile adorning his face.

"It is wonderous, humbling and frightening," he answered thoughtfully. "I am honored to be carrying this progeny for my Choosers and especially for Kattron. She means everything to him."

"You care deeply for him," I said, knowing it was true from the way Tradell's face and voice softened each time he spoke of his Chooser.

"I never concealed that from you," he answered, surprising me with that little tidbit. He then put his hand behind my neck and pulled my face to his, tilting his head and sealing his lips to mine. His kiss was passionate and tinged with a sense of desperation. I remember thinking how different his kiss was from Herron and even Heero, but I can't tell you exactly now how it differed. All I can say is that all three men are excellent kissers.

After we parted, the redhead continued to hold me close, whispering against my lips, "I desire you, Duwan. You complete me. I long for your touch and reassurance that only you can give me. Demonstrate with your body that you still desire me, that despite my misshapen form you will not cast me aside for Herron."

Again, I had thought I'd be able to talk myself out of doing this, bluff my way out the door before things went too far, but looking at Tradell as Mueller had asked me to, not as Trowa but as the man who was desperately in love with my counterpart, my resolve weakened. His need for me was evident within his pleading eyes, impassioned words and trembling body, and I found myself unable to refuse him.

"How can I do this without harming you or the baby?" I asked, looking at the distended belly again, seriously doubting that it could be done.

"With your hand and mouth you can bring me to passion's end," Tradell said a bit breathlessly. Taking my hand, he guided it to the area that was begging to be touched. "After which you can lie at my back and take me from behind, spilling your passion within me to claim me as yours again."

I swear I couldn't help it, his low voice and suggestive words had a sizeable bulge almost spilling out of my undergarment. I began by kissing his neck and slowly moved southward, taking my time as my lips moved over the taunt skin, stretched impossibly over his enlarged stomach. I noted his body, trim everywhere else, and the absence of hair, even around his groin. That lack of hair seemed odd at first, but I have to say I didn't miss the curly, wiry hairs getting stuck in my mouth as I went down on him. He moaned and writhed from my attentions, whispering words of encouragement and pleasure, and that was just the beginning of several hours spent together in Tradell's bed that afternoon.

As we entered my familiar living space, I felt tired, ready for a bath and my evening meal. Mistra Hildah had once again left a request that I join her that evening after I'd refreshed myself. As I soaked in the tub with Mueller gently running the soft cloth with soap over my sensitive skin, I relaxed against his chest and closed my eyes.

"How was your encounter with Tradell?" he asked.

"Fine. Everything's all right for now," I answered rather lethargically and then yawned. "You know what's odd?"

"No."

"I spent most of the day in bed with a virtual stranger and it doesn't disturb me half as much as it should."

"Tradell is very likable."

"Yes, he is," I sighed. "I can see why Duwan added him to his harem."

"His what?"

"Collection, or a grouping of favorites."

"Yes, he is very fond of him."

"Do you think they'll be very angry when they learn I'm not Duwan?"

"They must never know."

I turned around and looked at the man behind me, realizing he was only a couple of years older than I was and yet I turned to him as a mentor. "All secrets are found out eventually. I'm sure mine will be too."

"If that should happen, we must hope you have completed your contract and are free to choose your way." It was clear to me that Mueller was sincere in his concern and care for me. Maybe if I didn't love Heero, or wasn't currently involved with two other men, I could have seen my way to eventually falling for my mentor. Damn, each day that I lived as Duwan, taking up his lovers as well as his contract, I was losing more of myself and becoming more and more like him, a male gigolo.

Later that evening I was led to the sitting room where Hildah was waiting for me. She motioned me over to where she rested on the pillowed, backless sofa. After giving her my bow of respect, I sat where she directed and watched as Walker came into the room bearing a tray of food and drink.

Though I was tired, Hildah requested that I feed her that evening. I remember offering my Chooser small bits of food, each followed with a sip of the wine-like drink. In return, I was also offered and accepted small portions of food and drink from her hand.

"I received word from Kattron that Tradell is much brighter and more contented after your visit," she began in a pleasant tone. "Kattron is very pleased and requests another visit soon, though he asked that I caution you regarding your intimacy with Tradel, that as the progeny's emergence approaches, your shared passion will be limited to hands and mouths only."

I could feel my face heating up from her frank speaking. Heero and I had always been private about our relationship, especially the intimate side of it, and to have such a topic spoken so freely made me uncomfortable. Luckily, Hildah changed the topic. Unfortunately, it too was of a personal nature.

"Relna has also made a request for Herron to come for a stay-over. I conveyed to her that next cycle's eventide would be best as you were still recovering from last eventide's gathering."

I think my face might have lost all color and that my hand froze in the air as I lifted the glass of amber liquid to Hildah's lips. Her response was to smile knowingly at me. "You have chosen for yourself a very busy if not demanding path, Duwan. I care not about your dalliances as long as your well being is not affected. However, once the sickness begins you will notify both Tradell and Herron that your rest and health will come before recreation. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Mistra Hildah," I answered appropriately, and felt some relief that I'd finally found a legitimate excuse that the other two men would accept for not being intimate with them as often as Hildah had hinted at. I was almost hoping that the sickness she spoke of would hurry up and come soon.

A week later I regretted ever hoping the sickness would come. The moment I sat up in my bed I was overwhelmed by nausea and I indelicately emptied the contents of my stomach into a bowl Mueller had set by my bedside. He'd informed me only days earlier, when he'd set it on the table next to my bed, that it had been procured by our Mistra specifically for that purpose. My caretaker watched me closely and rubbed my back as the last of my stomach's contents emptied out for a second time. As I straightened, a moist cloth was dabbed at my mouth and chin, then gentle hands pushed me back against my pillows.

"Are you better now?" Mueller asked me, sympathy clouding his face.

I answered with a moan as my stomach churned. I hate being sick, and from what Mueller had told me, this gestation illness could be repeated daily for several months. That thought had me feeling ten times worse. "Quick, put me out of my misery," I whined.

Mueller had the audacity to laugh at my wretchedness. "You are such a little one, Duwan."

"Contact Tradell and cancel our meeting today. Tell him I'm sick." I could feel the bile rising up my esophagus again, and my cheeks bulged as I fought another wave of the sickness down.

"Rest and be still for yet a while. Perhaps you will feel better before long. I'll contact Chooser Kattron to acquire the remedy Tradell spoke of."

I nodded and felt some measure of relief that the smelly contents in the bowl had been removed. Placing my right forearm over my forehead, I willed my rebellious stomach to calm down.

Mueller returned a short while later to administer my heramones. With a little coaxing he managed to get me out of bed and into a restatortive bath. With the blond sitting behind me, his hand working the soaped cloth over my shoulders, back and stomach, I was able to relax, and was pleasantly surprised to find the nausea had eased off. By midday I was feeling much better and was able to eat my mid-cycle repast and the day continued on without further upset.

Unfortunately, the next morning began in the same wretched way, as did the day after. At least I knew that each wretched morning would be followed by a nausea-free afternoon. My daily schedule changed to adapt to the sicknesses pattern, with Mueller and I staying in the abode until after the mid-cycle meal. My "bed visits" with each of Duwan's favorites were limited to once a week each.

One month after the implantation of the artificial uterus, I made a return visit to the Life Center. Wudon and Sallah greeted me in a professional manner and worked together to scan my body and belly and coming up with medical terms to explain how I was doing that I couldn't understand. There was, however, one part of the conversation that caught my ear and nearly stopped my heart.

"The A.U. is functioning well and is sustaining the embries equally."

"Embries?" I choked out. I hoped and prayed in that moment that she'd spoken wrong.

Sallah looked at me, somewhat surprised at my reaction, then smiled. "Of course. You have two embries in the A.U., as your contract stipulates."

Mueller wisely jumped back when I reached out to grab him, intending to strangle the living daylights out of him. I was almost blind with anger that he'd purposely hidden yet another very important bit of information from me. All I had going through my mind was that this was impossible. I shouldn't be carrying one child much less two. This, I decided, was a absolute nightmare. What the hell was I suppose to do with two babies? Suddenly, there wasn't enough air in the room and I couldn't catch my breath, and my vision darkened while my heartbeat sounded ridiculously loud in my ears.

I realized the faint murmurs in my ear was someone trying to tell me something, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. I barely registered the pressure on my arm as being an infuser, but I felt an immediate reaction to the drug administered. I slumped to the side, suddenly relaxed, and caught by someone who was speaking over the slowly calming heartbeats gradually fading in my head. Damn but my head hurt.

"Breathe slowly, Duwan. Take a deep breathe and slowly let it out. Try it once more. Good. Again."

I followed Sallah's directions until my breathing became easier and my heart rate returned to normal. I realized that Sallah was holding my upper body in her arms while she patted my tattooed arm and reassured me that everything was better now. The medication she'd given me might have calmed my body, but my mind, regardless of the headache, was racing. The shot hadn't managed to cure my shock and fears.

I opened my eyes and stared at absolutely nothing as I asked, "How am I suppose to take care of two babies?" I asked, feeling panicked but unable to react to it because of the medication. The three other people in the room looked at me like I was from another planet. Wait, I was, but only Mueller knew that little fact.

"You are not contracted to care for them, Chosen," Sallah answered with a chuckle, sounding as if she were amused by my fears. "Mistra Hildah will contract with a caregiver for them. You will have done your duty once they emerge. Having fulfilled your contract you will be free to live your life however you and your Chooser have planned."

I know I blinked like a dumbstruck owl as I struggled to sit up and look her in the eye. "I won't have a part in their lives?" I asked, my hands moved to rest protectively on my still very flat stomach.

"Only if you have a desire to do so," Mueller cut in, taking a step closer but still out of my range. "A Chooser is rarely cut out of the lives of his progeny if he has a desire to share in their upbringing."

Now if that wasn't a kicker. I was having not one, but two babies, and some unknown nanny was going to raise them. Of course it made sense that if Hildah was too busy to get pregnant she wouldn't have to time to raise her offspring either. I felt as if I'd been double sucker-punched. First, I learned that I was carrying two babies instead of one, and secondly, that I wasn't meant to do much more than carry them inside my body. To say the least, I was more than a little upset by this news, but thankfully I'd learned enough about this place to know that I couldn't throw a fit in public - not that I had the energy to do so at the moment. So I merely pursed my lips together while Mueller finished dressing me, determined to wait until I got home to let my caretaker have it.

I was glad Hildah wasn't home because my behavior would certainly have earned me a mark. Even though the physical lethargy caused my the injection I'd been given at the clinic during my panic attack lingered, I still managed to rant and rave at Mueller until I yelled myself out. I finally slumped down onto my bed while my maligned caretaker left my resting space in order to get me a calming drink.

Regretfully, I really didn't feel much better after my tirade. After all was said and done, I knew I had little choice but to adjust to the idea of having twins. Still, it remained quite a shock. My tantrum had served its purpose though, allowing me to vent some of my anger towards my caretaker and his continued deceptions. I could finally manage to look at him and not want to pummel his face. I remained resolute, however, about not letting my kids be raised by a stranger. I didn't care if that was how things were done on Erith; I just couldn't bear the idea of not having a place in my children's lives. I decided to bring the subject up with Hildah the next time we shared a meal together. If I truly had a say in the matter, I'd do anything I had to in order to be a part of my children's lives.

When Mueller came back with the pink elixir, I gratefully swallowed it. As with all the medicinal drinks, it only took a few moments for it to take affect, helping me to calm down enough to be able to listen to my caretaker explain - in his usual logical and rational manner - the reasons why he didn't tell be about the twins. Going with the flow here on Erith was becoming harder and harder to do. I couldn't see that I had any other option than to accept the unacceptable and hope that Mueller wasn't hiding anything else from me.

**TBC**

**Answer to a few readers' questions**. Yes, I can assure you that this will eventually be the 1x2 I promised, but as you can see, Duo has his hands full on Erith at the moment. And to yaoiphoenix: No, I've not read that book. It does sound similar though, doesn't it? Colors are often used in signifying rank, (like in boy and girl scouts) but I actually got the collar idea from a very old Star Trek show, where Captain Kirk and bridge crew are transported to a planet and are forced to fight other kidnapped being. They are controlled by pain inducing collars by god-like beings who wager on the outcome of their fighting. Sound familiar? I love those old sci-fi shows.


	16. Chapter 16 White Encounter

**Through the Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 16 - White Encounter**

Despite my mixed feelings about Trowa - caused by the doubts Quatre had shared with me and my own discoveries of Heero's lies before I was sucked up into the vortex - I found myself enjoying my encounters with Tradell even though I'd never entertained thoughts of being intimate with his double before. After my first visit to his resting space, our trysts gradually became less sexual as the other Purple came closer to his delivery date.

One afternoon, as we lay in his bed propped up by soft pillows and clothed in only a thin sheet covering our legs, I watched Tradell's long and slender fingers with spellbound fascination as he slowly traced an invisible line from the left side of his protruding belly down to the underside. "This is where they will open me to enter the A.U. and remove the progeny," he explained. "After that is accomplished, the unit itself will be removed. The healing practitioners will then seal my body closed until the time comes again for me to produce another progeny."

"Did you contract to carry two for you Choosers?"

"Three," Tradell answered with a smile. "Kattron and Dorothea wish to have a larger number of progeny than is the norm. I am happy to do that for them."

"What happens after your contract is fulfilled?" I asked, curious.

"I will be given the choice of staying here as a part of this familial unit or live apart in my own abode."

"What will you choose?"

Softened green eyes turned to study my own. "I will dwell wherever you and Kattron are," he answered, his face shining with his love for both of the men in his life. "I don't think I could be ever be content without either of you in my existence or in my bed."

Not knowing what to say to that, I leaned over and tenderly kissed the man I'd been intimate with for nearly a month, but pulled back suddenly when Tradell gasped and put a hand to his stomach. I quickly pulled further away, afraid that I'd somehow hurt him. "What is it?" I asked after noting the sudden lack of color in his face and wearing a look of confusion.

"Call for Ty," he said in a shaky voice. "I believe the progeny is not content to be inside the artificial unit any longer."

A flurry of activity began after I hit the monitor that had been left at Tradell's bedside in case of an emergency. In a voice made shaky by my nervousness, I informed Tradell's caregiver of his task's need. Moments later Kattron rushed into the room with Ty and Mueller behind him. The blond Chooser immediately took charge of the situation, orchestrating the removal of his Chosen from their abode to the Life Center. Excusing us from the drama, Mueller took me back to our abode where we anxiously waited together for word of Tradell's delivery.

Just before the eventide repast began, Hildah received word that a healthy baby girl had been safely delivered and that Tradell was doing well in the recovery space of the Life Center. Mueller arranged to have flowers and several small appropriate gifts (paid from my valuation account) delivered to my lover who, I'd been informed by Kattron via Hildah, would not be receiving visitors for several weiks.

Herron seemed more than happy to take up the extra time that had been allotted for Tradell. I was somewhat surprised to find that I didn't mind the extra time spent with the duplicate of my Earth lover. Just like Heero, Herron had grown on me. He was similar enough to my own Heero that I found the look-alike's presence comforting, especially after spending each morning being sick as a dog. Herron proved to be understanding, compassionate as well as passionate when he made tender love to me. Even without the passion elixir, forbidden during the incubation period, his touch awakened my body to its need to be touched and our joining was always mutually satisfying. Well, physically anyway. Yet even after a powerful climax, I always felt like there was something missing. I would be lying if I said I hadn't grown fond of the two men who were my lovers, but I didn't love them. They shared my present, and complicated my future, but they didn't have a thing to do with my past, like Heero and my former comrades did. Oh, I knew commonality wasn't entirely the reason why I felt something was lacking in my relationships with the other two. It was love, plain and simple, that was missing. I love Heero. His strength, fortitude and dedication combined with his outward appeal and the vulnerable, sensitive side of him that hardly anyone else got to see helped me to fall head over heels for him. Was it just having those traits that cause me to love him? To this day I don't know why we fall in love with one certain person, but I do know that I love him and only him, regardless of our difficulties. I'll probably always love him.

A month after Tradell's delivery, he came to my abode as previously scheduled. I was startled to find that in place of the needy, submissive lover I'd come to know, Tradell, now slender, his bulging belly only a fading memory, was horny, aggressive and quietly demanding. No more than a moment had passed after I greeted him at the door to my room before his mouth was on mine in a devouring kiss, and his hands were busy with the task of removing our clothing. Before I knew it, I was breathless, lying on my back on the bed naked with Tradell above me, nudging my legs apart with his knees.

And so once again my life in this existence had changed. I now had two equally aggressive lovers who seemed intent on possessing me. I tried to act as Duwan would, to keep the two happy and apart as much as possible, and before long I found myself adapting once more and trying to find enjoyment in my new life. I slipped easily into the routine of spending my mornings heaving over my vomit bowl and the afternoons being led around by Mueller to sights around the city. Twice a week I juggled my two amorous, demanding lovers while my waistline slowly began to thicken.

Two months of pregnancy passed by rapidly and I'd grown used to the pampered life I'd been abruptly dropped into. And believe it or not, I pretty much adjusted to the idea that I was pregnant... with twins. On the day I'd found out that bit of information, Mueller informed me that Duwan had wanted to fulfill his contract as quickly as possible, wanting to move on with his life. Evidently it was an option given to all Chosen. Too bad I was the one that had to live out his need to rush the experience.

At my request, Mueller took me out in the afternoon when the weather permitted. Not only did I love the feel of the sun's warmth on my face and the gentle wind on my skin, but I got to see how life evolved in Sangor and view a bit more of the world I was now living in. I'd spent much of my childhood living outdoors rather than in, so I suppose it's natural that I prefer not being locked up in a room, no matter how fancy it is. Still, I was in a foreign world and it had taken me and was still adjusting to the many different hues of nature that existed on Erith that were so dissimilar from Earth. After a couple of months of living there, the blue grass and odd-colored plants, trees and sky didn't seem quite so strange anymore.

However, it was the buildings of Sangor that fascinated me. They were unlike anything I had ever seen before. The structures themselves came in many shapes and sizes, but the one thing that was consistent was the outside walls of the buildings. I could only suppose there was some form of building code that stated they had to be similar, but the total effect was a fantastic visual sight. From my vantage point on the ground, there appeared to be thousands upon thousands of 4x4 inch squares of material similar to a reflective Mylar fixed on the walls. Each one was hooked to a framed base that allowed each tile to move with the gentle currents of the wind. Each building, though, bore a different shade of color. One was silver, another gold. There were bronze, pink, amber and pale violet, plus all the colors that pertained to the societies in Sangor. What made the siding spectacular was when all the tiles moved with the wind. It gave the appearance of looking at a horizontal pool of water that had a gurgling fountain beneath that rippled the surface. The walls of all the city's buildings came alive with movement, and they were spellbinding.

On these frequent outings that we took each afternoon, I kept a curious eye out for those of the lower ranks, also depicted by the color of their clothing, usually just their shirt or blouse. I saw people dressed in yellow and green on the streets and inside businesses. Mueller told me Yellow's were the owners of the many businesses that served the city. Greens were more prominent on the streets and employed by Yellow. The were the lower-wage workers that basically performed the more manual jobs that kept Yellow's businesses running. I noted from my narrow, sheltered view of their society, that it was Green who drove the freight trucks and vehicles similar to busses that were smaller, sleeker versions of the same kind of vehicles used on Earth. Mueller informed me that their vehicles were powered much like the transport tubes, by magnetic bands set just under the surface of the smooth pathways (that I thought of as roads) and on the bottom of the vehicle. That explained why there didn't appear to be any air pollution on Erith.

In all my outings I never once saw a person dressed in white. I asked my caretaker about that and he informed me Whites didn't wear that shade of clothing, but that the color rank referred to their lack of any bands. This group, I was told, was not allowed to roam amongst the general populace where their lawless ways might have an adverse affect on contract abiding civies like ourselves. Several times on our outings Mueller mentioned that there had been incidences where Whites forcibly took goods from other civies, similar to a mugging, and broke into abodes or businesses to steal another's property. He'd related also, with deep disappointment, that Whites had committed other crimes that would extort payment from the upper ranks.

In order to keep the non-law abiding Whites away from the main populous, they were assigned places to live and work in communal abodes in the outlying areas of the city called the hinterlands, near the main food fields where they toiled to make a living. It took me a moment to realize that from the way the Whites were treated and worked in this society, that they were the throwaways. That thought sickened me. After all, isn't that what I had been on L2? A throwaway who had been left to survive or not on the street of that godforsaken colony? I decided that the more I learned about Erith and its culture, the more it became more apparent to me that it wasn't as perfect as it had first appeared, for it still had its social problems regardless of its peaceful state.

My natural sense of curiosity had me wanting to learn more about Erith, of its people and customs. Yet in my protected position, I quickly gathered that it wasn't deemed a necessity that I or any other Purple know how things worked, nor was I encouraged to learn. I came to realize that a Chosen was basically a highly cosseted person who only had one purpose in life, and that purpose seemed to be the reason I upchucked every morning. As far as I could tell, a Chosen like myself lived on easy street with little to no concern about the problems outside his abode. Duwan, Herron and Tradell had been born to this, to their color and future. It seemed as if they accepted it without question.

Despite Mueller's attempts to answer my many questions, my curiosity wasn't easily sated. I wanted to know what happened to those who had lost their rank and had become White, mostly because there always were those types of people in any society. They were the free spirits, unconventional thinkers, odd balls and freaks. With my background, I felt an affinity for that small segment of society.

Mueller told me once, days after my arrival on Erith, that those who didn't fulfill their roles in society, who didn't keep their contracts, were stripped of their colors. With that as the threat for punishment, the majority of Erith's society was successfully kept in line. I had to admit, it had kept me in line also, that and the one experience I'd had with being punished.

I couldn't help feeling badly for the less privileged, namely, those of the White rank. How could a society that seemed to have perfected their way of life so much have such discrimination and prejudice against one of their own? Then again, I didn't really know anything about how the upper two levels worked. For all I knew they were diligently working on social problems and I just happened to be ignorant of the fact because it wasn't part of my contract. I, and probably all other Purples, found myself caught in an in-between state of being useful to the upper ranks and completely separated from the lower ones, with no power other than to help the upper colors produce their children because they were too busy running the world to have them on their own.

Thoughts of Erith, its strange colored landscape, the fantastic buildings and the inequality that existed there had filled my thoughts for many days, but they as my waist began to thicken my curiosity dimmed and I began to look forward to the fluttering signs of life inside me. My full attention turned to my pregnancy and the wonder of it all, and eventually my homesickness for Earth, my friends and lover began to diminish as I fixed my mind and heart on what was going on within my body.

At three months I was proudly sporting a very small, protruding belly. It wasn't so large that anyone could tell from looking at me that I was pregnant, especially in my loose fitted clothing, but I knew it, and it felt oddly wonderful. The A.U. accelerated a Chosen's pregnancy from the usual nine and a half months to seven, so I was almost halfway through my time before I knew it, and I hoped the morning illness would ease up sooner rather than later.

I was also beginning to get used to people touching me. Before coming to Erith I only let Heero touch my body with any familiarity, other than a brief embrace from one of my closer friends or a hand shake in greeting my co-workers or those I'd come into casual contact with. I was now used to Mistra Hildah's nightly inspection, lifting my shirt and pulling down the waist of my pants to view my rounding stomach. She liked to run her hands over it and put her ear to the slightly distended area before placing two kisses on my hairless skin. I was embarrassed at first, but had no choice but to put up with it as well as the open display of my condition when she had guests over. I eventually came to accept others touching me as just another part of my new life. Hildah was obviously excited about the prospect of being a parent and she wanted to share that with her closest friends. I was in no position to deny her.

After emptying my stomach twice one bright morning, Mueller began to give me my daily heramone injection and I asked my usual question about what are we doing that cycle.

Mueller didn't respond until he put the infuser down. Then lifting his head, the blond man answered with a smile, "We visit Mistra Sallah this cycle. She is anxious to see how you are progressing and we need a new supply of heramones."

"I like her," I declared with a lazy smile. "She's a lot like someone I used to know, as is Wudon." I sighed wistfully then, thinking of my former friends.

"Do not think about them," Mueller said in a firm tone, knowing where my thoughts had gone.

"You're right, I guess. That life is behind me. I have to accept the fact I can't go back and that I'll never see my friends or lover again." The depression that came and went periodically was suddenly hanging over me like a dark cloud.

"You are not completely unhappy here," the blond said, sounding confident in his statement.

"No, I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'm surprised at how content I am. Probably more than I've ever been in my life."

That seemed to satisfy the other man. "Let us have our bath and after you have partaken sustenance once more we will make our way to the Life Center, walking through the commons if you wish. After seeing Mistra Sallah, we will do something enjoyable. Perhaps hover sailing over the waterway would please you, or enjoying a cold, tantalizing delicacy."

That guy knew me well enough now to know just exactly what to say and do to get me out of the doldrums. Food and fun did it ninety percent of the time. "All right," I said, perking up. I'd seen small hovercrafts over the lake before, but had never been out on one. The promised treat, too, was something to look forward to.

"Herron left an inquiry on the message board requesting verification for his scheduled bed visit after the eventide's repast. Are you up to such a task?"

"Yeah, he knows by now to leave my bed well before I wake up and empty out my poor stomach," I replied, wrinkling my nose in distaste. "Shouldn't this sickness be over soon?"

The other man shrugged. "Everyone is different. Some Chosen experience it for only a short time and others suffer with it throughout. It is the body's reaction to the A.U. and the increase in heramones. Perhaps it is because you carry two that it has continued this long."

"Are you sure I'm going to be able to carry two?" I asked, touching the slightly rounded belly. "I'm not a very large man and I happen to run on the skinny side. Two progeny seems like a lot."

Mistra Sallah declared you more than capable of carrying two at once. In this one insertion you will have fulfilled your contract."

"It's still hard to believe," I told him. But the evidence was there, under my hand. During my last visit to Sallah she'd told me that I would show more quickly than most because I carried two. She added that I might not carry them the entire thirty weeks, but would deliver before that time because of lack of space needed for the babies to continue growing.

Mueller smiled at me, a warm affectionate grin that an older brother would give a younger one. "Come, let us bathe." Taking my hand, I allowed him to lead me from my comfortable bed to the bathing room. I was long past wondering if this world had a fetish about bathing; I now knew it for a fact. I certainly had never been cleaner in my entire life.

"""""""""""

We left the abode early, opting to walk through the park that day (which Mueller called the commons) instead of taking the transport tube after I discovered the day was cheerfully bright and warm. We'd been to the commons quite a few times and, just like the first time, Mueller reminded me that if we should happen upon any person of a color below our rank, we were not to acknowledge or speak to them. All citizens of Sangor, excluding Whites, were allowed access to the commons, but that didn't mean the upper colors socialized with the lower ranks. He also told me, probably intending to reassure me that I would be safe, that the lower ranks were forbidden to approach an enceinte Purple. That was just one other thing about Erith's society, the definite class segregation, that seemed pretty damn screwy to me. I'd learned from the streets of L2 that forbidding the lower echelons of society something the upper class had usually made them more desperate to have it, and it was the getting it that usually caused trouble.

The sunshine streamed through the leaves and branches of the trees above us, dappling the ground under our feet as we walked hand in hand through the lush blue and beautifully manicured gardens of the park. All around us were flowers, shrubs and trees of the like I'd never seen before coming there, in shapes and colors that were as beautiful as they were strange to my Earth-trained eyes. Since we had plenty of time, we stopped by a large pond to sit and watch the multi-colored striped fish breaking the water's emerald green surface and fly into the air for a second before re-entering the water. Mueller chuckled at the look on my face as I continued to be awed by my surroundings.

I breathed in the sweet, clean air of Sangor and experienced a deep sense of peace that I don't think I've ever really known in my life before coming to Erith. It was a place of no war, little to no crime, and everyone seemed to be living their lives content with fulfilling their tasks according to their birth-appointed colors. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, making sure my braid was tossed over the back of the bench. Letting the warmth of the sun wash across my face brought me an even deeper sense of contentment that was as foreign to me as this world was. I stayed in that position for several moments, listening to the splashing sounds made by the jumping fish. I heard a slight noise behind me a moment before I felt my braid grabbed and harshly pulled down, keeping me in my place and at an awkward angle. I gasped, surprised at the attack and from the sudden pain at my neck and scalp. I suddenly had a hard time breathing with my trachea constricted by having my head pulled back over the bench. My eyes snapped open the same moment that I felt a sharp object press into my neck. From the corner of my eye I saw an unknown man standing right behind me, wearing a wrinkled, rough-textured, dark brown shirt. I had to wonder where the hell my reflexes had gone, letting someone sneak up behind me like that and get the drop on us. I consoled myself by thinking that my reflexes were slow because the attack had been completely unexpected and, as far as I knew, out of the norm for Erithian society.

"Come with me now or your life is forfeit," said the gravelly voiced man behind me.

Chancing a side glance at Mueller, I could see him paralyzed with fear, eyes wide on his unnaturally pale face. It was obvious I wouldn't be getting any help from that corner. I also knew that, given the opportunity, I could probably disarm the man that I figured was a White or disguised as one, but I wasn't acting on my own behalf any longer. I had two babies in my belly that I'd do anything to protect. I only had a moment to decide that it would benefit myself and my babies if I just went along peacefully. Besides, I'd rationalized that this would give me a chance to see how the lower half lived. I didn't doubt that I could defend myself and escape once the pressure on my neck and the sharp object against my throat was gone, so I didn't feel overly threatened. I might be pregnant but I still possessed the skills of a gundam pilot and an L2 street brat. Neither was anything to sniff at.

"Don't hurt him," Mueller pleaded, looking and sounding both panicked and frightened. "He's enceinte."

"His Chooser's name and rank?"

"Hildah, Sangor Red, level deca tu. Her abode is Luminea Tower, deca sev. She'll pay an exchange fee, so there's no need to harm her Chosen."

While Muller answered the man's question, my captor managed to drag my pregnant ass off the bench by pulling my hair. He pressed me up against his chest while the sharp object I could only assume was a knife remained at my throat.

"Return to your abode and inform your mistra. Contact will be made shortly." When Mueller hesitated to leave me, the sharp tip resting against my throat pricked my skin. I could feel a trickle of blood dripping down the exposed column of my neck. My caregiver's eyes widened in horror. "Go!" My abductor ordered sharply, and this time Mueller turned and bolted like a flash of purple lightning, his quick slippered footsteps rapidly fading in the distance.

"Come willingly, Chosen, and you will not be harmed."

I would have nodded my head, but couldn't as the man held my braid too tightly. "All right," I agreed, trying to sound timid. I thought it would be wise to play up to the belief that I was helpless in case I had to defend myself. And honestly, I couldn't see how he'd get out of the park with me. There had been plenty of other Purples and a smattering of other colors in the commons that day. Surely someone would come to my aid if it looked like I was being abducted. As I was more or less dragged across the blue grass, I couldn't help but wonder if citizens of a law abiding society such as this world even know what to do if they met up with the man holding a knife against their or anyone else's throat. Probably not. I couldn't remember if Sangor had some form of law enforcement or not, so I could only hope that the man jerking me around was being honest when he said he'd let me go as soon as Hildah paid the ransom.

That little fleeting thought of being rescued by a good Samaritan was dashed to pieces as the man holding me stopped suddenly and called out the name Satti. My stomach flip-flopped as a round hole in the sidewalk lifted. In an advanced society like this, I hadn't thought they would have sewer drains like those on Earth. A grizzly haired old man's head popped out of the hole, saw the two of us, then disappeared below. "Proceed into the opening," the man behind me ordered, pushing me down to my hands and knees. A not-quite-so-clean, wrinkled hand came up and out of the hole, showing me the way. I followed that hand, letting it guide me. I could only hope that there was a ladder just inside the lip of the hole to lead us down into the space below, because a jump would probably harm the babies. I dangled one slippered foot out and found it clasped and gently pulled to the first rung of a ladder. Slowly, I eased my slightly rounded belly over the opening and climbed down into the darkness. The man above me, now in my sight, looked to be in his forties. He was thin with sharp cheekbones, denoting malnutrition. He had a head of dirty brown, shaggy hair and a matching roughly trimmed beard. I kept my eyes on him as I climbed down the ladder and until my head dipped below the park's surface. I noted briefly that he knelt down and turned, intending to follow us down into the hole.

I quickly took in my surroundings and observed that the sides of the manhole were made of a dull gray metal. Then after entering the main sewage channel moments later, I noted the sides of the more cavernous walls were made of the same substance.

I quickly moved my fingers from the rung they rested on just before the guy above me stepped down on it in his haste to get below the surface and re-cover the hole.

"Decca more rods to the bottom," the voice below informed me now that the opening above had been sealed and we were left in the dark. And sure enough, after ten more rungs my feet came to rest on a cold and damp surface. Cole, seeping moisture immediately leaked through my inadequate cloth shoes, but I was too distracted by the smell of sewage to be overly bothered by the uncomfortable feeling. Unfortunately, with pregnancy, at least with mine, there came a hyper-sensitive sense of smell.

"I'm going to be sick," I informed the two men, gagging as I spoke.

"Then you are in a suitable space to do so," the man behind me chuckled darkly. I clamped my hand over my nose and mouth, trying to delay the inevitable, and turned towards the sound of his voice. The underground sewer line was dark, making it impossible see my abductor or anything else. I felt my upper arm grabbed and then I was being pulled down the vile black passageway, our feet splashing in the water the only sound. I didn't ask any questions and my kidnappers certainly didn't seem to want to talk, which was fine with me. I was feeling as sick as a dog and didn't think I could manage a full sentence anyway. We were forced to pause several times in our dark trek while I got rid of my breakfast and then some, but the two men waited only until I stopped retching before they forced me to begin walking again.

We sloshed through liquid for an indeterminate amount of time, with me holding one hand over my mouth, pinching my nose closed to keep out the vile smell, while the other hand gripped my aching belly. Each of the men had a hold of my upper arms, supporting and dragging me along through the dark, rank tunnel. If there was something to be grateful for it was that I couldn't see what I was wading ankle deep through. I did wonder, though, how these guys could see in the black-as-ink darkness that surrounded us when I couldn't see a thing.

When I began to think there was no end to the black void, a faint light became visible in the distance and I began to hope that I'd soon be able to breath something other than the stink that surrounded me.

I'd say it took another ten minutes of walking before we came to the flashlight, or their equivalent of one, fastened in a bracket over a metal door. One of my kidnappers hit the door with what looked like a rock in his hand and the loud banging echoed through the tunnel. The sound of an old metal bolt being pulled back was heard and then the door in front of us promptly opened, letting out a flood of light that nearly blinded me. I quickly closed my pained eyes while being unceremoniously dragged through the open doorway. The sound of the rusty metal door closing behind us was reminiscent of a prison door clanging shut, and without even seeing where I was, I felt claustrophobic. I put my hand over my eyes with the hope of sheltering them from the light until they adjusted.

"We secured a select breeder this time," the man gripping my arm tightly announced.

"He is eye-appealing for certain," a familiar, scratchy voice said in an approving tone. "His Chooser?"

"Hildah, Sangor Red, decca tu."

"Decca tu?" Now the other voice sounded concerned. "That's a higher rank than we have had dealings with before. She may have Blue connections."

"His caregiver assured me that she would be willing make the exchange."

Blinking rapidly, my eyes finally got used to the light and I discovered that the room I was in was actually dimly lit. I guess the complete absence of light in the tunnel had, at first, made even this limited light unbearable to my light-starved eyes. As I turned my head to see who my kidnapper was speaking to, my eyes almost popped out of my head. Although the new guy looked younger, thinner and more unkempt, he was a dead ringer for Howard. He stood not five feet away from me and his bloodshot, rheumy eyes were fixed on me, moving up and down my purple-clad body.

"He carries the artificial unit," my pseudo, adopted uncle look alike focused on my barely rounded belly and I instinctively put my hands on it, protecting my babies. "That should bring us a greater settlement. What are you called?"

"Duwan," I answered.

He and the others laughed. "That's an odd naming."

I shrugged, not knowing what to say. I took a look at Howard's double and then the men standing around him. It was obvious to me that he was their leader by the way they stood around him, subtly showing him deference. They all wore clothing that was dark, mainly browns and blacks. During the time I'd spent in Sangor, I'd never seen anyone wearing clothing made from these colors. "Are you Whites?" I asked.

The not-quite Howard frowned. "Lacking intelligence, are you?" I thought then that maybe it would be best if I did more observing and less talking, so I remained mute in response to his question.

Howard's twin stepped closer to me and I resisted the urge to back up. I really didn't want him close to my children while he had that spark of desperation and danger in his eyes. "We will send a go-between to your Chooser's abode with a demand for a settlement to secure your safe return. After all has been settled between your Chooser and ourselves, you will be given a choice. You can either choose freedom, to live your days as you would with us, away from your shackling contract, or choose to return to your rank and confinement. The decision will be yours to make."

Now it was my turn to frown. "You can remove the bands?" I asked, bringing my hand up to touch the hated collar.

"Yes."

"And the rank markings?" I nodded to my exposed right arm bearing the two tattoos of rank.

"It is painful, but this we can do."

Suddenly, the vision of a new future captured my thoughts. Once liberated from the collar and tattle-tale tattoos, I would be free to roam Erith, to seek out its sights and meet its people. It was sudden movement within my belly jerked me out of the dream of being free once more. I was hit with the stark reality that I was no longer alone. I had these two babies to carry to full term. Where would I go, pregnant as I was? If I did run off, who would deliver them from the artificial uterus? I knew there was no way the babies could come out of me without medical assistance. And what about Herron, Tradell and Mueller? What would they go through if I just disappeared on them? It was shocking to realize that I was trapped by circumstances as much as I was by the collar and bands that I wore. "I would go back," I told the lookalike.

The man studied me for a moment before saying, "I won't accept your answer until the settlement arrives. Consider well the life ahead of you."

I decided it might be detrimental to my health to contradict the man in front of me. He looked like Howard, but I could see in his eyes a hardness in them that I'd never seen in the man on Earth. This man was no doubt the product of a harsh life, one that had probably squeezed out any bit of compassion for those of the upper, privileged ranks. He wanted me to choose freedom, and by the look in those cold, hardened eyes it looked like he might be willing to force me into it if I chose to return to Hildah. It was disheartening to think I might have to fight my way out of there after all.

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17 Den of Thieves

**Through The Vortex  
Part 17 - Den of Thieves**

The man that looked like Howard lowered his eyes first and abruptly turned away from me. "Find him some place to sit and a covering to keep him warm. His Chooser would not be pleased if he were to become ill."

There was movement behind me as someone left to do his bidding, giving me an opportunity to take a better look at my surroundings. The first thing I noticed and was grateful for was the fact that the floor was dry. My feet were wet and cold as a result of traipsing through the sewer and my footwear was disgustingly soaked, but I comforted myself with the fact that I was free of the disgusting tunnel. I looked around me and counted approximately fifteen poorly clothed people in the room with me, all gaunt and worn looking. As they shuffled around the metal space that I decided must have been a maintenance room, I didn't recognize anyone else as being the double of anyone I knew on Earth.

The four walls were lined with... stuff. That's the best way I can describe it. The overall appearance gave it a look of a poorly organized, overly stocked thrift store, with folded clothing, blankets and who knew what else stacked against the walls from the floor to the ceiling. There were legs of chairs sticking out, mattresses, a small ratty table or two, and all of the furniture was completely covered by the afore mentioned stuff.

One area in particular was being cleared away. Armfuls of various colored articles of clothing were removed to reveal a single, worn fabric chair. A small, hunched person with a dirty face and brown, greasy and ratty hair looked up after the last armful had been transferred to another spot in the room and motioned for me to come over. The hand still gripping my arm more or less dragged me to that point. I sat quickly in the chair, not wanting to be thrown into it. I wish I could have brought my knees up to my chest because the room was cold, and I felt it acutely because of the wet shoes and thin garments I always wore.

The same person who'd cleared the chair, a woman I decided, came back to me a moment later with a worn but clean-looking blanket. The edges were slightly frayed and there were holes in it. "I will search to locate some coverings for your feet," she told me in a quiet voice, watching me even though her face was pointed towards the floor.

"My gratitude," I said, taking the offered blanket and heard the sharp intake of breath from the woman who seemed startled by my words. Then slowly her head rose and a hesitant smile grew on her face, showing the lack of several front teeth. She knelt down and took the impractical shoes - that I referred to as slippers - off my feet, then quickly stood and left.

I waited until she walked away before tossing the old blanket over my shoulders, hoping it would help to ease the chill. With nothing else to do, I sat back and once again looked around the room and sniffed. Although it smelled somewhat better than the tunnel I'd been led through, there was a decidedly damp and rank odor hanging in the air that had no doubt leaked in from the sewer line. My attention was drawn to the man who'd abducted me when he left off speaking to one of the others in the room and strode in my direction. He stopped directly in front of me and proceeded to scowl down at me. If he thought he was intimidating me, he was wasting his time. I'd face a lot worse then him on the streets of L2 and in an OZ prison. "You will not to depart from this space unless you are instructed. Do you understand?"

I nodded, deciding to act like a Purple should and not to tick the guy off. After glaring another moment or two, the surly man finally turned and went about his business. I sighed, wondering why I always seemed to be the one to get into trouble, here as well as in my former life on Earth. I thought about what the guys would think of me at the moment: barefoot, pregnant, and kidnaped by a bunch of sewer dwellers. No matter how you look at it, it was pretty pathetic. If the guys knew about my current circumstances it would no doubt ruin my reputation as a tough guy and Shinigami. In the back of my mind I could hear the four familiar voices commenting on the situation: Wufei's voice sounded slightly exasperated as he said, You're a magnet for trouble, Maxwell. You only get in these kinds of predicaments so that I have to come and rescue you, Heero teased. Duo, please be more careful; Don't take so many chances. Of course Quatre would be worried. And then Trowa would merely give me a half-knowing smirk, communicating that the others were right on all counts. At that moment I felt overwhelmed by how much I missed all of them.

My feet felt like blocks of ice by the time the pitiful woman returned with a pair of ugly, thick green socks. She knelt down once again and slipped them on my feet, then took a moment to vigorously rub each of them with both hands in an effort to warm them up.

"Malia!" The booming male voice of my abductor caused the woman's body to jerk and she shot to her feet, looking fearful. "Do not provide him further comfort." She gave a curt nod of her messy head to the gruff man, gave me a look of apology, then darted off. The man who'd forcibly taken me from Mueller gave me a baleful glare before turning away and ignoring me altogether.

So I sat quietly in that chair with the borrowed socks on my feet and ragged blanket over my shoulders, both giving a small bit of warmth to my chilled bones. Several times I found it necessary to shift in my seat, trying to find a comfortable position, but I soon decided it was a lost cause. I'd softened up living as Duwan, a fact made more pronounced by fact that the chair felt too damn hard on my bony butt. With nothing other than my discomfort to occupy myself, I directed my attention to watching my kidnapers as they worked around the cluttered room. There seemed to be some kind of sorting or organizing going on. The piles of "stuff", carried by the ragged and thin people, came and went through the door opposite the side of the room that I had entered. The eyes of those in the room turned to me frequently, as if they were as curious about me as I was about them. I bet they would like to have talked to me but it obvious they were intimidated or maybe even afraid their gruff leaders because no one approached me. I was disappointed. If no one was allowed to talk to me I probably wouldn't be finding out anything else about his lower class of Erith's society.

With only the bustling about and low voices speaking beyond my ability hear, I quickly became bored. Yawning, it slowly dawned on me that I wasn't afraid of these rough people. I was pretty sure I could defend myself against any of them, if it came to that, but suppose I felt safe because of the way the Whites cast their side-long glances at me. These poor, wretched refuse of Erith apparently had an underlying respect for either my rank or condition. Even my abductor, rough as he'd initially been in the early stages of my kidnaping, and despite the dark glares he shot my way, didn't seem to want to physically harm me. His actions indicated that he'd been trying to intimidate me into behaving, a tactic that had no doubt worked on other timid Purples who'd found themselves in my position.

I was calm enough about the situation, that I wasn't going to be hurt, to relax as I huddled into the sparse warmth that the holey blanket offered. I shifted again, setting the side of my head against the tall pile of cloth next to me and closed my eyes, hoping to catch a few winks regardless of the fact that the air still smelled of mildew and sewage and that my stomach wasn't too happy about either one.

I jerked awake at the touch of a hand on my knee. Through the thin material of the clothing I wore, I could feel heat and calloused palms. My eyes focused on the man crouched in front of me at eye level. Howard's double held a steaming, chipped yellow mug in his hands. "Drink this and it will warm you," he said, offering me the two handled cup. "You are blanched. Are you well?"

I nodded and took the cup from him. "Just cold," was my honest complaint. I brought the cup up and let the steam kiss my face, relishing the warmth and taking in a deep breath, inhaling the odor of the contents. It smelled like... berries, a welcome reprieve from the smell of raw sewage that lingered in the room. Taking a tentative sip, I found the dark brew to be bitter with just the slightest aftertaste of berry. Having had Quatre as a close friend, I was often faced with a cup of tea. It seemed to be some sort of bonding ritual for the blond Arabian. From my first encounter with tea, I'd learned that it was drinkable if I put quite a bit of sugar in it. I didn't think it would be appreciated by my captors if I asked for this world's equivalent. It was probably something these impoverished sewer dwellers didn't have anyway.

After a couple of swallows of the bitter liquid, I looked up to the man still crouched at eye level with me. Unlike the Howard I knew, this man's face lacked the vitality that I'd always associated with the brilliant aerospace/mechanical engineer. His eyes lacked the spark of life and quirky sense of humor that personified the builder of Peacemillion. Sure, the man with the South Pacific tan and Hawaiian shirts had wrinkles on his face, but most of them were from laughter and sunshine rather than the deep, hard-life furrows the man in front of me had etched deeply across his forehead and around his eyes and mouth. "My gratitude," I said, nodding to the hot drink. Its taste was close to vile but it was hot and warmed me from the inside out. "What are you called?"

The man snorted. "It would be unwise for me to speak it, for you will undoubtedly be interviewed if you make the decision to return to your Chooser."

He was right, of course, but I was curious about the Whites and so many other things. "Do you do this often? Snatching a Purple for some kind of gain?"

The man shrugged, not giving up much information. "We do what we must to perpetuate the cause that frees the upper rank's breeders from their degrading servitude."

Degrading servitude? Frowning, I asked, "Are you telling me that the reason you brought me here is not for your own profit but to give me a chance to break my contract?"

The man answered with a curt nod of his head.

Suddenly, and quite surprisingly, I felt... curious yet resentful. "I'm a Purple and carrying my Chooser's progeny. What would happen to me, to my progeny, if I decided to break my contract and choose your way of life?"

The man's eyes lit up with a spark of hope in them, and I could see he thought he could win me over to his way of thinking. "We have a med-tech in another space than here. He will remove your collar and bands. After which he would extricate the AU from your body, freeing you from your burden and rank. You will the have the freedom to choose a new way for yourself."

My frown deepened. It couldn't be as cut and dry as he made it seem. It came to me then that he hadn't mention the child within the A.U. "Do you mean this med-tech will deliver the progeny when it's mature enough to breathe, and then take it and the A.U. out?"

"No, that was not my meaning," the other man answered, his face reflecting the seriousness of the topic. "We have no use for progeny that are from Blues and Reds and not born of females. Even so, the progeny of Whites rarely survive the ordeal of birth. We claw our way through our existence as Whites in Sangor. Our survival is difficult enough without adding the burden of young ones to our suffering."

My hands instinctively went to my belly. "No!" I said firmly. "You said I had a choice, and I choose to return to my Chooser to fulfill my contract."

"You would rather choose demeaning servitude over freedom?" the man asked, disbelieving my choice and apparently not too happy about it.

"I would choose life over death." I looked from him down to my slightly protruding belly and a surge of the strongest emotion I've ever felt swept through me. It was an overwhelming feeling of love for the two small beings forming inside of me. I swallowed hard and had to blink back the tears as I realized the strength of my bond with them. Without a doubt, I would be willingly to give up my life for theirs if I had to. "I gave my own seed to my Chooser and what I carry in the A.U. is a part of me. There's life growing in here and my heart tells me this is the most important thing I have ever done. I'll fight you for all I'm worth to keep you from harming them."

"You are inexperienced as to what you are passing by," the man replied in a rebuking tone. "You were born and trained to be nothing more than a breeder, kept within isolated walls and used as the Blues and Reds desire. You know nothing of freedom, of making choices of your own without collars and stripes of color telling others of your rank and duty."

I had to force myself not to punch at the man in the nose for his insults. From what I'd learned about Purple's role in this society, I knew that some of what he said was true, about Purples as least, but the part about me being naive about freedom wasn't. I decided to tackle the most objectionable thing he'd said first. "I do know what it is to not have freedom, but I also know what it means to fight for it," I told him sternly. "I've known what it's like to be cold and hungry, to live with depravation, death and grief. I've lived a part of my life treated like the lowest of the low, like a White, but it didn't defeat me; it only made me stronger. From all I've gone through, I've learned to choose life and to value it as much as freedom and peace. Erith might not be perfect, and I don't agree with how the Whites are treated, but this place has attained peace unlike the place I've come from."

"Peace," the Howard look alike spat the word out as if it were something unpleasant, interrupting me at the beginning of a rant even Wufei would have been proud of. "Whites know nothing of this peace you speak of. We fight for our food, for shelter and the chance to earn our way. We are trod upon by all other ranks simply because we bear no bands of color on our arms."

I sympathized with the man who was steadily growing angrier as he spoke of the unfairness of his life. "I agree that you and the rest of the Whites have been treated inhumanely."

"What is that word?" the older man snapped angrily.

"It means you've been treated unjustly, wrongly. Whites are those who lost their bands because they couldn't live within the guidelines of Erith or Sangor, correct?" The older man scowled, then grudgingly nodded, telling me it was true. "Let me tell you what happens to people who break the guidelines where I come from and you judge which life is worse."

I noticed then that the others in the room had gathered closer to the place where the other man and I had been speaking. It was obvious they were listening to our conversation. "Where I came from, If a person is found guilty of breaking a rule, or what we call the law, they go to a place called prison. It's a building that contains many small rooms, smaller by far than this room. There are metal bars that keep them in that small space. They eat, work and move about when told, and even retire in the eventide and awaken when they're told to do so. They have no freedom, no choices."

The room became still around us and all eyes looking our way were wide with surprise. Pseudo Howard looked doubtful. "Where is this place of your origin?" he asked.

"Far away,"

After a moment, the man nodded. "It is better to be a White and free than in this place you describe. We have little, but we move about as we please, except in the urbanas." I knew he was talking about the inner city and its streets and commons. Mueller had already explained to me that those places were off limits to all Whites.

Suddenly, the far door to the room was flung open and it crashed with a loud bang against the metal wall behind it. A man I hadn't seen before and whose appearance was the same run-down state as the others burst though the open doorway. "The settlement has been agreed to by the Purple's Chooser," he announced, rather breathless. "We are to take him back to the pool of water where he was taken from his caregiver. The exchange will happen there."

"No enforcers?"

"She made a contract with me that she would not inform the enforcers."

The man in front of me stood, a look of fierceness on his worn face. He looked down at me. "You will not choose freedom?" he asked. I shook my head; the Whites had nothing to offer me. Frowning, Howard's double turned to look at the man who had taken me from Mueller's side. "Bring him," he ordered. Then without a look back, he left me and our earlier conversation.

Without even a grunt of hello, the brute approached and grabbed my arm, roughly, pulling me up from the chair and to my green stockinged feet. With a steel grip on my arm, he pulled me out of the room through the door the messenger had made his appearance moments before. Howard's double was hastily ordering the other Whites about before he followed after us, and I gathered from his words that the ragtag group was going to relocate, just in case something went wrong.

Three Whites walked with me as we traveled through the underground labyrinth of metal, the two original men who had taken me and Howard's double. It seemed to take a longer period of time to return me to the surface than it had taken to bring me down through the sewer tunnels to their hideout, but I was so turned around there was no way I could get my bearings. The underground tunnels were like a labyrinth with countless twists and turns. I decided that even Heero would be confused if he were in my place. Like that would ever happen, I thought, snickering at the very thought of Heero pregnant, wearing something akin to a harem costume and being held for ransom by sewer dwellers. Ridiculous and amusing.

We finally left the narrow corridors and entered another room, similar to the one where I'd been held. Again the walls were lined with more piles of clothing, blankets and other items. We crossed the room to the other door and I hoped it wasn't the entrance to the awful smelling sewer line. The opening of the door and the stench that wafted in dashed my hopes. I was pulled unwillingly into the sewer line, regardless that I was wearing socks on my feet. Just thinking about what I'd stepped into that was wetting my feet, caused my stomach to heave and out came the bitter tea I'd had earlier.

My three silent escorts paused briefly while I finished throwing up, and the moment I stopped, they turned and we continued on our way with a faint light held high in Howard's double's hand. While they dragged me along, I once again put my hand over my mouth and nose to try and keep myself from being sick. There was nothing left in my stomach by that time, but it sure didn't keep the gag reflex from kicking in.

We finally made it to a ladder and stopped. The man I'd first met in the sewer hole when I'd climbed down into the putrid tunnels earlier that day, now moved up the ladder and cautiously opened the manhole. I shut my eyes against the light of day as it came streaming through the opening, feeling like it was burning a hole in my retina with its brightness.

"All is clear," came the announcement from above. Pulled forward, I was nudged into climbing up the ladder's rungs as the man at the top scurried out of the manhole and crouched at the top, waiting to give me a hand up. As I crawled out into the open and onto the blue grass, a hand clamped painfully around my ankle, holding me in place on my hands and knees. The man behind me, my abductor and evidently this group's muscle, held me in place until he crawled out of the hole himself. Once he'd gained his feet, he pulled me up to stand next to him and waited for the last man to climb out after us. His glare in my direction was a clear warning not to pull anything funny. I tried to think of how a Purple would react in this kind of situation. No doubt a pampered, pregnant Chosen would to into hysterics, with Herron possibly being the exception. Yet as I looked at the grim faces of the men leading me, their eyes warily shifting back and forth, probably looking for a trap, they didn't look like they wanted to deal with an over-emotional Purple at the moment. Though it seemed cut and dry and something they'd done frequently, kidnaping apparently still had some element of danger attached to it.

By the placement of the sun in the sky and the coolness in the air I knew it was almost evening. The grip on my arm tugged me forward and across the blue grass while staying behind bushes and shrubs as much as possible to hide our presence. I cast my eyes around and realized we were directly across the pond from where I'd been taken. We hunkered down into the bushes and through the leaves I could see Muller in the distance along with our mistra and another person dressed in red that I didn't recognize. All three were sitting on the bench I'd relaxed on earlier that day.

Skirting the pond and using whatever cover we could manage, we approached the three who were obviously waiting our arrival. From the corner of my eye I saw the metal blade in the hand of the White's muscle a moment before he roughly grabbed me and placed my pregnant self in front of him. I wasn't too surprise to feel the edge of the sharp blade pressed to my neck.

"Don't harm him unless we've been deceived," Howard's double ordered.

He received a deep grunt in reply. At a nod from the leader we moved from out of the bushes and into the open, approximately one hundred feet from where the other three sat. Upon seeing us, they stood as one with Mueller looking frightened as he took a position behind Mistra Hildah. She looked angry enough to spit blood while the man next to her appeared as cool as a cucumber. My instincts prickled, warning me that a trap was about to be sprung. Having learned a long time ago to trust my instincts above all else, I immediately analyzed the situation. If things turned sour, I'd have to disarm the man holding me, the only one who posed a potential threat to me and my children.

"You were instructed to come alone," Howard's double growled, apparently unhappy with the third person.

Hildah's eyes narrowed as she glared at the man. "Anyone who would abduct an enceinte Purple is not a person to be trusted. Release him." She held out her hand, displaying a slim card that looked to me like one of the credit cards I used to carry in my wallet. "The agreed settlement has been met, now dispatch your part of the contract."

"Have your other Purple deliver it to me."

A very timid looking Mueller looked from Hildah to Howard's double, obviously uncertain and fearful. But his training regarding his contract with Mistra Hildah eventually overcame his trepidation and he cautiously stepped forward to take the small card from her hand. He then turned and walked towards us with slow, slightly faltering steps. The blade in the muscle man's hand was pressed against my throat again, something I was very uncomfortable with. Half way to us, Hildah called out sharply. "Mueller, halt!"

The blond man immediately obeyed, stopping mid step to turn his head and look back at her, waiting for further instructions. Hildah's calculating eyes turned to Howard's double once again. "Bring Duwan to his caregiver," she said firmly. "Once Duwan's hand is in his, he will give you the transaction chip."

All eyes turned to the leader of the sewer-dwelling Whites. "Do as she requests," the leader told the knife wielder.

Thankfully, the blade was removed from my neck and I was moved forward with my back still pressed against the taller man behind me. We stopped just short of stepping on my caretaker, who gave me a shaky smile as our eyes met. He reached out his right hand, inviting me to take it while his left hand remained in a semi-cupped position, holding the chip in his fingertips like some form of enticing bribe. The arm pinning me tightly to the solid chest slowly relaxed, releasing me. Putting my hand out, I clasped Mueller's cold palm and he immediately and forcefully pulled me forward and into his arms. The moment I was released, the man holding me snatched the card from Mueller's hand and fled, his footsteps strangely loud on the blue grass. For a reason unknown to me at the time, my caregiver suddenly pushed me down to the ground, forcing me to lie on my side as he put his own body over mine in protective position. With my face pressed into the cool blue grass, I managed to look up at Hildah and the man next to her just as a stream of white erupted from a narrow, cylindrical container that each of them carried in their right hands, pointed in the direction of my kidnaper.

With some effort and a major case of curiosity, I managed to turn my head towards the direction my former captors had been, hearing muffled grunts and a strangled cry of fear. The substance that had come out of the handheld containers appeared to be some form of sticky netting. My original kidnaper and the man who'd opened the manhole were caught in the netting which covered most of their upper bodies. They both struggled briefly before falling to their knees while Howard's double ran to the nearest clump of bushes before turning back to yell with anger and contempt, "Contract breaker." The anger on his face made it seem as if he'd just spoken the worst insult he could have thrown at the two Reds. He then fled, disappearing into the bushes and probably down some other manhole into the sewers below. My eyes went back to the two captured men who were now lying on their sides, unmoving.

"Duwan, are you well?" Mistra Hildah's voice, coming from above me, was filled with concern. Mueller finally got up and off of me and I moved to sit up, looking at Hildah as she crouched by my side.

"I'm all right," I reassured her. "But I really need to bathe." That much was obvious as the stench of the sewers clung to my clothing, hair and skin, not to mention the wet, fetid socks on my feet. I guess the smell didn't bother Mueller too much because he threw himself forward, wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged the daylights and breath out of me.

"My apologies, Duwan," the over-emotional blond cried into my hair as he smashed my face against his shoulder while kneeling in front of me.

"It wasn't your fault and I wasn't harmed," I said as I hugged him back. "There's nothing to be upset about any longer."

"They didn't harm you?"

"No, not really. They weren't unkind to me."

The man who had accompanied Hildah had come to stand by her side. He paused to look down at us and Hildah stood to speak with him. "My gratitude, Otta, for your assistance. It appears my Chosen is unharmed."

I looked to the two men who were laying unnaturally still, partially covered by the white substance that had shot out of the guns. "Are they dead?" I asked.

"They have been netted and rendered senseless by the contact relaxer," Hildah explained. "They will be dealt with appropriately."

"What does that mean?" I asked Mueller as the man in red strode off towards his prisoners.

"That Red is an enforcer," the blond told me as Hildah stood over us. "Our mistra contacted him as soon as I informed her that you had been taken from me. He will deliver them to a holding place and they will stand in judgement for their offense to Mistra Hildah and yourself."

Somehow, I felt badly for the two unconscious men. I know that what they did wasn't right, but they were obviously a desperate, downtrodden people.

"Come, Duwan. Mueller. Let us return to our abode so that Duwan may be cleansed from the taint on his skin and clothing. Otta will no doubt wish to inquire about your being taken, Duwan. I will ask him to come to our abode later this eventide."

Mueller disentangled himself from me and quickly got to his feet. He offered me his hand and helped pull me up. Hand in hand we followed behind Hildah as she led us away from the commons. I looked over my shoulder and felt some measure of pity and regret for the two men that lay on the ground. Regardless of what I'd just been through, I couldn't help but think that their way of bringing the bad guys down was impressive. Apprehended alive and without harming the perps or endangering innocent bystanders was pretty damn cool in my book. At the tug on my hand, I turned my attention back to the path in front of me as Hildah and Mueller led me back to the safety of our abode.

TBC


	18. Chapter 18 Out Of the Pan

**Through the Vortex**

Bane's Desire  
Part 18 - Out Of the Pan And Into The Fire.

I'd always loved taking a bath, deeming it such a luxury, but rarely in my life had I appreciated it as much as I did after returning to my resting space after having been dragged through the sewers not once, but twice. The sweet, musky scent of the cleanser Mueller used on my skin and hair was a soothing balm to my abused nostrils and worn out stomach.

After I'd been thoroughly scrubbed, dried and dressed in my wonderfully soft and clean purple nightshirt, I was tucked into bed and fed a delicious meal by my caretaker. Enforcer Otta was brought into my room later that evening, and he questioned me about where I had been taken and what I'd seen. I told him that I'd been taken down into the sewer line and held there until the men holding me said it was time to go. He asked further questions about how I had been treated and the socks I had been wearing, where I got them and so forth. I fudged a bit, but gave him no useful information. Although I knew what they'd done was wrong, I really didn't want the people who lived in the sewers to suffer any more than they already were.

"What happens to Whites who abduct a Purple?" I asked the man.

He looked at me in a way that could only be described as patronizing and said, "It is not for a Purple to ponder such things."

"They were not unkind to me," I told him.

His eyes moved to my arms, to the visible bruises made by the muscle man's grip on them. "The evidence of bruises clearly shows that you were not treated as a Purple is entitled to be."

All I could think at the moment was that the grip on my arms had been much less painful than the punishment I'd received from Mistra Hildah when she'd activated my collar. I supposed in this society that what the Reds and Blues did to the lesser colors was deemed acceptable. I had bruises on my arms caused by a White and it was considered a serious offense. Hildah actions, on the other hand, nearly shocking the bejesus out of me, was considered acceptable. Go figure.

The man dressed in red left after getting no further information from me, and just as I settled into my warm blankets and pillow the door to my room opened and in stepped Herron. I'd forgotten all about our scheduled evening. To be honest, I really wasn't in the mood to have sex, but I desperately wanted to be held. I watched him as he walked to my bedside and noted an unusual expression of distress marring his handsome face. Without a word I opened up the blankets, inviting him to join me. Herron wasted no time. He climbed under them and pressed his body next to mine, then gently pulled me into his arms and held me close.

"I was told of the events that transpired this cycle," he whispered into my ear. "My relief that you are unhurt is overwhelming."

"I'm fine, Herron. Really."

He didn't seem to know what to say, so instead he ease me onto my back, turned down the blankets covering me and began examining my body. I was touched when his eyes actually welled up with tears as he spied the bruises on my arm. He didn't stop his inspection until I was completely undressed and he'd seen every part of my body, front and back. After turning over to lay on my back once again, his mouth descended on mine in a kiss that was both gentle and needy. My obvious lack of enthusiasm soon stopped him and he pulled back in order to look at me, curiosity and worry filling his eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just kind of tired this eventide," I explained

"Then I should leave," he said, looking reluctant to do so.

Grasping hold of his arms, I said, almost desperately, "No, don't. I'd like you to stay, Herron. Could you please just hold me tonight?"

A smile replaced the worried look, and Herron lowered himself once more to rest by my side. He pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest all night long.

For the first time since I'd had sex with him, I woke up with Herron still holding me. I nuzzled into his neck and moved my hand under the blankets and down his chest. I intended to show him how much his presence pleased me while hoping my morning sickness would hold off for just a little while longer.

""""""""""""

Mueller stood by my side as Sallah examined my stomach and studied the results of whatever her scanner came up with.

"Everything is progressing very well," the doctor said with a smile aimed in my direction. "It appears you have suffered no ill effects from last cycle's unfortunate incident. Both embries are developing as they should and you show no signs of rejecting the artificial uterus."

My smile matched hers. I was genuinely happy that my pregnancy was on track. I'd developed an attachment to the unborn boy and girl that I affectionately called Ying and Yang - not that those where the names they were going to be called after their emergence.

Wudon came into the room carrying a familiar looking case with enough heramones to last another couple of months just as Sallah asked Mueller to come and speak with her out in the hallway. Wudon followed them and I took that as my cue to get up and dress, something I didn't get to do for myself very often.

Just as I finished putting on my clothing, ending with slipping on my soft-soled shoes, a loud, startling sound, like a clap of thunder, came from above me, followed by an ear-aching pop caused by a change in air pressure. A cold wash of air dropped down on me from out of nowhere and swirled furiously around the room. I instantly dropped to ground, an instinct from the wars, and looked up through squinting eyes to see the opening maw of a vortex in the ripped ceiling, just like the one I'd been sucked into before.

"Oh shit!" was all I could manage with the wind making breathing more difficult. My clothing and hair were being whipped furiously around me and I felt my body beginning rise from my current position. I realized that in a moment or two I was going to be sucked up from the floor and into that unnatural vortex. I saw the slim metal box that held my heramones beginning to shake, also succumbing to the gravitational well above me. Seeing it as a source of protection, I grabbed the handle, brought the flat side to my chest and quickly placed it over my belly as a protective covering for whatever was going to happen next. Not more than a few seconds later my feet left the floor. I curled up into as much of a ball I could manage as my body rose upward. In that panicked moment I didn't have time to worry about what was happening or where I might be going, I only wanted to protect my babies.

As I was pulled into the swirling maw, I caught a last glimpse of the door to the exam room bursting open and the wide-eyed and horrified expressions of Mueller, Wudon and Sallah as they clung to the doorframe to stop from being sucked up with me. Then suddenly they were gone and I was moving up through the wind tunnel, bent over and clinging desperately to the metal case that covered the front of my swollen belly even as my back was pressed against that invisible wall I remembered from my first journey through the vortex.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash of color and turned my head slightly to see what it was. My twin, dressed in a purple jogging suit, was pressed against the invisible wall opposite me. I hoped with all my heart that it was Duwan I was seeing, and if it was, that he and I were once again switching places. He looked as terrified as he had been the first time we'd passed through the vortex. In contrast, I was oddly calm.

Hunched over, I closed my eyes tightly to try and ease the building nausea caused by spinning inside the well even as I felt myself drawing nearer to unconsciousness. Throwing up in that place was the last thing I wanted to do. Though there seemed to be fewer objects flying around with me than there had the first time I'd made the journey, I couldn't avoid being hit by what was there. Even with the pain they caused, I knew it wasn't going to be enough to keep me from blacking out soon. Curled up as I was, I didn't think about where I was going or what I would face once the vortex spit me out. Strangely enough, my thoughts were of the two lovers I'd left behind on Erith. The memory of their faces, smiles and expressions of deep caring and tenderness were images I wouldn't forget anytime soon, that is if I survived my second trip through the vortex.

Something hit my hip hard, and a moment later there was another sharp blow to the back of my bowed head. Warm blood streamed across my chilled face but I stayed stubbornly curled up around the metal case, instinctively protecting the life inside me. Then just as I began to slip into a dark void of my own, I experienced the sensation of falling. I suddenly hit something very hard, and became dimly aware that I was laying on my right side on a cold, unrelenting surface. I thought I heard the sound of excited voices and of rapid footsteps approaching, then chilled hands were touching me, trying to straighten out my curled body. My fingers were pried away from the case I'd held onto for dear life as one voice in particular, a very familiar one, called to me. I fought my way from being completely sucked into the darkness of unconsciousness to identify that voice.

"Duo, open your eyes. Are you all right? Dammit, tell me it's you and not another nut case!"

Heero. His demand brought a slight smile to my mind if not my face. I could only imagine how the pampered and privileged Duwan would have behaved in my world. The more I thought about it the more I had an urge to laugh, but didn't, couldn't. Despite being barely conscious, my head hurt something fierce as did other parts of my body.

"Get back, let me look him over." I thought for a moment that it was Sallah's voice, but I knew it wasn't. It was her double from my world that I'd heard. I was back, really physically back in my own universe where my friends and lover lived, where everything was familiar. There were flashes in my mind of the Preventer building, of people I'd arrested, sent to prison or killed in the line of duty. I glimpsed a picture of Quatre's sad eyes as he spoke of his fears regarding Trowa and Heero. Yes I was back, to Earth and all that was familiar, the good and the bad, and with that chilly realization came both elation and abject fear; I had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

"Duo, can you hear me?"

Gentle fingers began lifting my eyelid and I shied away from the light that was shone into my eye. I moaned my discomfort, not only from the bright light, but for the fact that my whole body ached and my head felt like it was about to explode. It wasn't helped when Sally's fingers began a search of my scalp and probed the place where I'd been hit by a flying object within the vortex.

"Let's get him out of here and to the hospital," she ordered, and soon after that I felt myself being lifted and set on a padded surface and straps were fastened over my body to secure me in place. I felt confused and figured I was in some sort of shock. I was vaguely aware of what was happening around me, but when I tried to talk, to ask about the condition of my babies, the words just wouldn't come out.

"I'm here, Duo." Heero's voice was close, soft and filled with worry. "You're home now and everything is going to be all right."

I knew that was the closest thing to an endearment that Heero would say to me while we were in the presence of others. He's always been very private about his feelings for me, speaking and demonstrating his true emotions only when we were alone. He's forever conscious of his surroundings and to not let others, especially strangers, know of our personal involvement. Some other lover might have been offended by his lack of open affection, but I'd always agreed with him, thinking that our life wasn't anyone else's business. Yet now, after having experienced a different kind of life on Erith, I didn't know if I felt that way any longer. I'd changed.

In my half-in and half-out-of-it state, it was easy to shut out everything around me: the faint sunlight through my eyelids, Sally's fussing and Heero's encouraging words. Instead of being distracted by outside stimuli, my unfocused mind reflected briefly on the world I'd just left behind. Without a doubt I knew I would miss the men I'd left behind in Sangor. Even though I didn't love them like I love Heero, I came to care deeply for them. One of the many things I'd come to appreciate about Herron and Tradell was that they never hid their feelings for me, not from me or from anyone else. They didn't often overtly touch or act overly demonstrative out of our resting spaces, but it was in their eyes and behavior that showed everyone that I was their center.

But that was another time and place, I told myself. I felt oddly sad for a moment that I was back in my own world now, and what a complicated mess my return to Earth was going to be. Funny, after all the time I wished for the familiar, for Heero, Quatre and the others, I now felt like my return was more of a punishment than the miracle it truly was. I had returned to my crime-filled world, so different from the place that had found peace and had given me a role in their society along with the many privileges accorded a person of my color. I had none of that now. I was back to my uncertain life, with a job I hated, a cheating lover and a blurry future.

My mind drifted, and I wondered why had it taken a freak journey to an alternate universe for me to finally find peace? All the fighting I'd done in my life, before and during the wars, and all the assignments at Preventers that I'd carried out to keep the peace had never given me the sense of inner peace that my visit to Erith eventually had. With a sinking heart I knew I had to accept the fact that I was back in my imperfect world. There was little doubt in my mind that Heero was not going be happy if or when he learned about the two lovers I'd had while I was away - though why it should matter to me I didn't know. I still wasn't over the hurt caused by believing he'd cheated on me with his best friend. What happened while I was gone? Did Heero hook up with Trowa? Damn, I didn't think that I was ready to face my life once again. Above everything else, I knew that the biggest difficulty facing me was that I was in a world where a man being pregnant was unheard of. My breath hitched as I fought back a sob as a feeling of despair overwhelmed me.

"He's in pain, Sally." It was Heero's concerned voice again, and I was pretty sure it was his fingers that gently wiped the moisture that was leaking from my eyes.

Vaguely realizing I was being lifted again and then settled, I heard the sound of a door slamming shut and the wailing of a siren in the air. I was in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. As my emotions rose, so did the pain in my head, and despite the reassuring voices coming from both Heero and Sally, everything began to slowly fade away. This time I welcomed the darkness as it shut out the reality of being back in my own world, with my old problems and two new complications.

I awoke again to the same throbbing headache and hands prodding my aching body. With a moan I opened my eyes and immediately squinted against the bright light above me.

"Hold on, Duo. We're going to do a CAT scan to check for internal injuries."

My mind reacted immediately to Sally's words. "No!" I blurted out. "No X-rays."

"It's alright. It doesn't hurt. All you have to do is lay still for several minutes until the scanner is finished."

"No, no X-rays of any kind," I repeated, more cognizant this time. I looked up to see Sally leaning over me with a concerned frown on her face. Her hair was shorter than she'd worn it before, cut to the shoulders with the front held back with a clip or something. I thought the style looked good on her and that Wufei finally had the longer hair of the two. I managed a slight smile despite the throbbing headache. "Hi, Sal."

The woman I'd known for years returned the gesture, her own smile was one of relief tinged with happiness. "Alright, Mr. No X-ray, but you have to work with me here so I can find out what injuries you might have sustained in the vortex."

I managed a dark chuckle, then winced at the ache it caused my pounding head. "Vortex. Funny, that's what I called it." My smile faded as I gave her a list of my aches and pains. "My head hurts, Sal, and I ache... everywhere. All in all, though, I'm in better shape than I was after my first trip through that damn wind tunnel."

While speaking, I began a visual search of room to confirm that we were alone. There was no way I wanted anyone else to hear what I had to tell Sally. I decided I really had no choice but to tell her about my condition. It was either now or later, I figured. It wasn't like I was going to be able to continue my pregnancy without my heramones and I was going to have to trust someone to take the babies out when the time came and then remove the A.U. I trusted Sally Chang to take care of me and, hopefully, to keep my secret.

"You appear to have a concussion, Duo. Can you move your legs?"

I did, and the aches from forming bruises I'd gotten from objects slamming into my left side flared with pain. "I'm pretty banged up on my left side, but no broken bones," I told her.

"Arms?"

Again, the left side ached but the bones were intact. "Same thing."

"All right," she smiled. "Now I'm going to lift up your... shirt," she motioned to the long, damaged tunic Mueller had put on me that morning in Sangor, "and examine your abdomen, ribs and chest."

I gave a nod of approval and watched as she lifted the silky purple cloth that I'd come to enjoy resting against my skin daily. I watched her face as her fingers gently prodded my stomach, her eyes narrowing at the bulge she found there. Without comment she went to my ribs and felt each one. "Do you feel any pain here?"

"No, it feels fine."

"Your abdomen is distended. You may have internal bleeding."

"I doubt it. I protected it in the vortex with the case I snatched up when it appeared above me."

"Then why is it distended? I hardly doubt that you would gain weight on only one part of your body."

"You're right," I chuckled, and my amusement soon progressed to laughter and continued on to a full-blown belly laugh as I came closer to being hysterical.

"Duo?" Sally was clearly becoming concerned and I fought to control myself.

My laughter stopped almost as abruptly as it had begun and I wiped away the tears from my eyes as I thought about the reason for my distended belly. My twins. I was now the only person responsible for the two babies growing in my body. Mistra Hildah was gone along with her posh home and assurances that she was in control of everything. Gone too was Mueller, my friend, confidant and ally. He'd cared for me like no one had ever done before or would ever do again, and I felt his loss more deeply than I would have believed. I was on my own again and responsible for the two babies that I carried in the A.U. They were mine. I was going to be their father in my world now, and I'd have to shoulder all the responsibilities that having children entailed. How was I going to do it? I was in no condition to work and it was an absolute necessity that my pregnancy be concealed and kept a secret. There was no doubt in my mind that if word ever got out that I'd been living in another world, and that I, a man, was pregnant with an artificial uterus inserted into my belly with two babies successfully incubating in it, I would become the subject of curiosity, of medical and scientific examination, maybe even experimentation. There was no way in hell I was going to let that happen, not to me and not to my kids. The two growing in my belly were wanted and highly valued in the society I'd just come from. There was no way I'd let them become freaks in my world.

But who should I tell? Who would help me and accept my condition, accept me and my babies. I looked up to Sally with my eyes watering, expressing my uncertainty and fear, only to see that Sally was becoming alarmed.

"Duo, what is it?"

"Sally, I need to tell you something. Something that happened to me in the other place I was in, but I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone else. I need your help and advice."

A gentle, compassionate hand came to rest on my own, laying on my swollen belly. "I promise you, Duo, as your doctor I'll keep anything you tell me in complete confidence."

"This can't go on the hospital reports, on any computer or piece of paper, and... I don't want you to tell Wufei."

She looked startled by my request, confused and concerned, but she nodded anyway.

I paused to think a moment about how to best tell the woman, my doctor and friend, what had happened to me. "Duwan came here, didn't he?"

"Yes," she answered. "I was his physician when he first fell out of the vortex. He was rushed here by ambulance and when he first woke up he was confused and babbling nonsense. We couldn't tell what he was talking about and thought he had a case of selected amnesia. He seemed to recognize some of us, but he had our names all wrong and he didn't recognize anything as being familiar. Heero took him home later that day but we noted that he refused to answer to your name and his general behavior was extremely odd. It wasn't even a week before Heero called me to the apartment, telling over the phone that the person who looked exactly like you wasn't you at all. When I got there, Trowa and Wufei were there also. I looked at the person in question and wondered what was going on. Duwan, looking just like you, had been sitting on the sofa in a satin robe and eating a bag of cookies while flipping television channels when I entered the room. Upon seeing me, he suddenly jumped up, gave me an excited smile, then bowed to me from the waist. That was my first clue that something was definitely off. Duwan then started babbling something about a contract and calling for people whose names I've never heard before. Heero finally got him to settle back down onto the sofa, putting the remote and cookies back in his hands before the four of us adjourned to the kitchen to talk. We each took a seat at the kitchen table before Heero began to tell me his theory, that when the vortex sucked you up you'd been transported to another place or time and Duwan, your double, exchanged places with you. I didn't know what to think of his theory, but Heero was adamant, and said he was going to figure out how to get you back. Wufei told me that Relena showed up at the apartment the next day after Duwan had seen a picture of her and insisted she be sent for. He literally threw himself at her when she entered the front door, begging her to take him to his choice."

"His Chooser," I corrected.

"That's right," Sally said, then continued. "Anyway, Relena, with Heero's permission, took charge of your double, removing him to her home for protection and care. I had occasion to meet Duwan several times in her home. He was interesting, very polite, understandably confused and not the most intelligent young man I've ever met. He did, however, have very set ideas about how he was to be treated. He also had a penchant for purple clothing, of which Relena indulged him."

"It was a sign of his rank in their society," I told her, nervously tugging at the edge of the blanket covering me. "Just as his bands were." I let go of the blanket to point to my arm and the two tattoos, then motioned to the collar around my neck.

"Ah," Sally said. "He didn't talk too much about his world, and seemed almost deathly afraid of ours."

That made sense to me. Duwan had lead a sheltered life on Erith, this world would have been terrifying to him.

"Heero began working immediately to round up the scientists at Leavesly Laboratory and got them working on duplicating the experiment. He believed that if he could re-create the vortex and put Duwan in it, you two would switch back to your own universes."

"Seems he was right," I said, subdued.

"Thank heavens," Sally agreed with a smile, and then it softened as did her voice. "We missed you, Duo. All of us."

"I missed you, too, even though I met most of your doubles on Erith, the place I was dropped onto."

"Well I can hardly wait to hear your story. But first, what is it you needed to tell me?"

"Did Duwan tell you what his role on Erith was?"

"I recall he was in some position of privilege. He referred to himself as being a Chosen. His vocabulary was difficult to understand sometimes, his words were similar to ours but the context seemed quite different. I pieced together that he was chosen to be the mate of a woman who chose him specifically for the purpose of having children. We also found out that he had three lovers, because he tried to become physically intimate with Heero, Trowa and Zechs." She cleared her throat, seeming embarrassed as I covered my face with my hand. "He was very upset when they spurned his advances and didn't seem to understand why they didn't want to have sex with him. Did you have to deal with his lovers in his existence?"

I rubbed my hand over my aching eyes and forehead, imagining Duwan trying to put his hands down Zech Marquis's pants. It wasn't a pretty picture. "Yes," I answered. "I was shocked to learn he juggled three, but thankfully, Zechs' double was located somewhere else on Erith. I never met him."

I lowered my hand and looked into her eyes. "It was so strange there, Sally. Their social system, customs and even the colors of nature were different from ours. I learned as much as I could and, thankfully, I had a someone who believed me when I said I wasn't Duwan. He insisted I take Duwan's role, saying it would be best, especially if Duwan was ever returned. He guided me through the strangeness of that society, though he hid some important things from me until it was too late. Yet as strange as their ways were, they were a peaceful society, Sally. They hadn't had a war in hundreds of years. Their peace was something I don't think our world will ever achieve."

Taking another breath and pushing down the longing I felt for that foreign world where my cares and worries were so few, I continued. "Duwan didn't tell you the full extent of his duties, his contract. I think he probably held back on purpose. He wasn't just a sperm donor for a woman higher in rank, he was a Chosen, and his Chooser was Hilde's double, a woman of consequence, a Red. In their society, women in the higher ranks, Blue and Red, run the government and hold the greatest positions of power." I paused, readying myself to tell her my secret and looked up into the doctor's face. "It's the men in the third rank of their society, the Purples, the Chosen, who not only provided the sperm that fertilizes their Chooser's egg, but he carries the baby in an inseminated, artificial uterus."

I stopped again as Sally's eyes widened and her breath caught as she fully digested what I was telling her. It was obvious she understood when her astonished eyes became fixed on my swollen abdomen.

"I have one of those A.U.s in me, Sally. I'm carrying twins because that's what Duwan contracted with his Chooser to do."

"Oh, I... my... Oh!" Sally gasped, words not coming to her as she tried to come to terms with the evidence before her. "Damn!" she whispered at last, then a look of curiosity crossed her face. "You're really serious, aren't you? How is that possible?"

"I'm not sure about how the artificial uterus works, but I need daily injections to ensure its health and that my body doesn't reject it. The case I carried through the vortex contains a couple of month's injections. I need that, Sally. They're called heramones on Erith, which I can only assume are female hormones, though I didn't understand that until after I was told that I had the A.U. in me and what it was for."

"I'll find out what happened to the case," the doctor told me, still looking shell-shocked. "Wufei was with us at Leavesly when you were brought back. I'm sure he'll know something about it." Her eyes, still fixed on my stomach as she spoke, slowly rose to my face, studying it as well. Reaching out, she placed her hand on my cheek and rubbed the soft skin with an expression that was something other than affection. She was obviously curious as hell. "I suppose the smoothness and soft skin of your face is the result of these hormones," she guessed.

I snorted and blushed. "Sort of. After I arrived there, they took one look at the scars on my body and the stubble on my face and sent me to a place called a Correction Center. I was given some sort of drink that knocked me out, and when I woke up all my scars had miraculously disappeared as had all my body hair, except in a few selected places." I blushed at that point.

"Gone?" she questioned.

"Permanently," I clarified. "As a Purple it was required of me to meet my Chooser's standards. I no longer have a beard, arm, underarm, leg or chest hair."

"Holy shit!" Sally exclaimed, examining my face at close range. "Can you imagine what a procedure like that could get you in this world? You'd be a billionaire if you could offer that service."

"Those were my thoughts exactly," I agreed, wishing I knew how they'd done it so I could copy it and make a whopping profit from the hair removal treatment.

I shook myself from my thoughts, needing to get back to the original subject. "Sally, before we get off on another topic, I need your advice. I can't let my condition be known. Can you imagine the uproar it would cause? I'd become a curiosity, a freak and a medical wonder to be poked and prodded."

Sally's face became serious once again. "What about Heero? Surely he'll help you."

I sighed and shook my head, regretting the movement as pain shot through my skull. "Heero and I were having some... difficulties before I was taken away. These aren't his children and I don't know that he could handle the situation."

Sally looked aghast at what I'd said. "I can't disagree with you more, Duo. It's obvious to everyone that Heero's devoted to you. Once he realized what had happened to you, that Duwan was someone else from some other place, he worked tirelessly to make the scientists work to repeat the failed experiment that caused the vortex in the first place. He wanted you back, Duo. He was desperate to have you back where you belong."

"I don't know that I can go back to how things were, Sally," I confessed, feeling confused by what she'd said and the feelings that I'd harbored for so many months. "Everything's changed."

"How about Relena or Quatre?" she suggested out of the blue. "They both have excellent security and the resources to help you conceal your condition from the public. Relena managed to keep Duwan's background a secret. I'm sure either she or Quatre would be glad to help you."

"Quatre," I decided. Though I knew Relena would probably help out, she and I had some past issues regarding Heero and our friendship now was based on the fact that she was Heero's friend and not necessarily mine. I knew without a doubt that I could trust my blond friend implicitly, not only with my secret, but with my life as well.

"He's outside with the others and they're all anxious to see you," she said, then frowned as she asked, "Do you wish to speak with him now? I'm not sure Heero will understand if you speak to Quatre before you talk to him."

"I think I need to see if Quatre's willing to help me first because his decision will help me determine what I'll say to Heero."

"Alright," my good doctor agreed, though not looking entirely pleased. "But first I'd like to give you a thorough examination, one that I'd normally give any expectant mother who is brought though the emergency room's doors. Tell me what you know of the artificial uterus while I set up the ultra sound."

I told her all that I'd learned of the A.U., which wasn't much, and pointed to the part of my body that Tradell told me the incision would be made in order to take the babies out and then remove the A.U. after the birth.

Sally's eyes lit up with excitement. "Duo, you'll let me have the artificial uterus to study, won't you? Just imagine what we could learn from it. Medical technology from an alternative, advanced world could mean new developments to our own way of thinking about childbirth."

I nodded, then paused to look at her with a proposition in mind. "You've got a deal, Sal, but only if you promise me that whatever medical discoveries you come up with, if the A.U. is replicated and used, that I be included in the patent and get a fair share of its sale and a percentage of future sales."

"Of course," Sally excitedly agreed. "I can only imagine the monetary rewards from developing such a useful device. But more importantly, just think of how it could help women who can't have children naturally. An artificial womb that can carry fertilized eggs full term, and even twins! It opens up a world of possibilities and hope."

"I hope it does some good," I told her. "But in all honesty, I need to find a way to provide for my children. I obviously won't be going back to work at the Preventers." Putting my hand on my belly, I lifted my eyes up to meet Sally's. "Could you please check to make sure they're alright. The vortex was pretty rough going and I'm concerned about them."

Sally seemed to come to herself and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away there, didn't I?" She then brought out the stethoscope that had been in the pocket of her white lab coat and put them to her ears, the other end went to my heart and after a few minutes, to my belly. Shifting the cool, flat end around, I watched a slow smile grow on her pretty face. "Other than your own, I definitely hear two separate heartbeats in here."

"A boy and a girl," I informed her, smiling with relief that the two seemed to be all right.

Sally's smile stayed in place as she moved a cart laden with equipment from a place against the wall, plugged a black cord into an outlet, then turned to place some very cold gel on my stomach. "I'm going to use the ultra sound for a visual check. The gel is a conductor." Making sure the television screen was ready, she then took a small, handheld apparatus and began a systematic search of my stomach. She spent a good five minutes going over every inch of it. Her breath caught several times and she whispered, "Unbelievable! Fantastic!" and, "Oh my God!" My eyes stayed on the screen and I struggled to make out the vague images that seemed to enthrall the doctor.

"They look good, Duo. Both of them," Sally said as she shut off the screen and reached for a cloth to wipe off my stomach. "This is utterly fantastic. This will revolutionize reproductive medicine just as cesarean section, the pill and invitro fertilization did. This is the most exciting moment in my medical career!"

"It's the most exciting and frightening experience of my life," I confessed less enthusiastically, my hand touching my stomach.

Her hand came to rest on my shoulder. "It's going to be all right, Duo. Would you like me to call Quatre in now?"

The moment had come to face my friends, and I guess my nervousness must have shown because she was looking at me with compassion. Pulling down my torn up tunic, and then bringing the blanket up to my chin, I gave her a nod of my head, then took in a shaky breath to ready myself for my first visitor.

TBC


	19. Chapter 19 The Clash

**Through The Vortex  
Bane's Desire**

**Chapter 19 The Clash**

Quatre told me several days later what had transpired in the waiting room in my absence. He reported that when Sally came to the waiting room, she was surprised to find it was full. Not only were my friends there, minus Trowa who was on en route, Zechs, Noin, Director Une and Relena were present as well. Quatre said they all jumped to their feet when my doctor entered the room.

Heero approached Sally first, looking frayed and weary and asked if I was all right. He'd evidently spent every waking moment during the time I'd been on Erith working at getting me back home and his exhausted state had become a worry to everyone who cared about him. Sally told him she had a few more tests to run, but that so far I seemed to be in fairly good health.

Wufei put his arm around Heero's shoulder and said with a small grin of triumph, "All your hard work has paid off, Heero. Let's just hope this is the Duo we know."

Sally assured them that the person she'd just examined was indeed me. Heero asked if he could see me, and Sally, looking apologetic, told him that I wanted to see Quatre first. The room became deathly still and all eyes turned to the shorter blond man. Quatre didn't spare a glance for Heero, not having spoken to him since the day I was sucked into the vortex. "I'm sure it's all right," Wufei said aside to Heero, trying to think of some him excuse for my unusual request. "We need to indulge him for a while. He's been through something we can't even begin to understand."

"Then why does he want to see Quatre and not me?" Heero asked gruffly, clearly unhappy and hurt. "I should be the one to reassure him."

"That's right, Heero, and normally you would be the one," Sally jumped in. "But he's feeling disjointed and unsure of himself. I believe he's just trying to acclimate himself back to this world. He promised that after he spoke to Quatre that he'd speak with you."

Quatre said that Heero still wasn't satisfied with their reasoning, but he nodded anyway, accepting my decision yet frowning deeply at Quatre as he followed Sally out of the room to where I was nervously waiting.

It was at that very moment that Trowa rounded the corner to the waiting room, stopping short of colliding with the familiar blond. Their eyes locked and held for a moment before Heero said with obvious relief. "Trowa, you made it."

"Sorry I couldn't get here any sooner," the auburn haired man said, finally breaking eye contact with Quatre to look at Heero. "My fight was delayed. Was the operation successful?"

Wufei was the one to answer. "We haven't spoken with him yet, but Sally confirms that it is indeed Duo who fell out of the vortex. Our Duo."

Quatre told me that Trowa's smile reflected his genuine happiness for Heero as he smiled at him and said, "I'm glad. What happened to his double?"

"Sucked up into the vortex, squealing like a little girl," Wufei answered with a roll of his eyes. "We can only assume that his entry into the vortex brought about the opening on the other side where Duo was and brought him back to us."

Trowa's green eyes turned back to Quatre, who immediately ducked his head. "Let's go, Sally," the blond mumbled. "Duo's waiting."

After a quiet knock on the door, Quatre entered the exam room I was in. My best friend was a sight for sore eyes and I felt myself becoming emotional from just seeing him after all the months we'd been separated. As his eyes locked with mine, they welled up with unshed tears. I gave him a smile that felt tremulous at best, and it must have shown how insecure I felt for he crossed the room to me in an instant and all but crawled over the bed's side railing to embrace me. Holding me tightly to his chest and whispered, "Is it really you, Duo?"

"Yeah, Quat, it's me. How've you been?"

My friend pulled back to look me in the eyes, weariness showing in his own. "Wretched," he answered. "But a bit better now that you're back home."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Sorry to worry you."

"Everything's going to get better now that you're back," he said, and from the tone of his voice, I could tell he was hoping his prediction would come true.

"I missed you," I told him.

"And you can't know how much I've missed you," he replied, struggling to keep his emotions in check. I sensed that there was something more troubling him than him just missing me, that something had happened to my friend during the time I'd been gone. I watched closely as he fought to compose himself and finally managed a forced smile on his face. "I can't wait to hear about where you've been and what's happened to you while you were gone."

I put my hand to my head, it ached like hell. I'd been trying to decide the best way to break the news of my condition to him, but the damn headache was a significant distraction. "I've got something to tell you, Quat, and I'm not sure how to do it. I guess describing the place I've been would help, so please be patient with me for a couple of minutes before I get to the crux of the problem. It's complicated and I've got the mother of all headaches pounding at my brain."

Quatre didn't bother with the one chair in the room, instead, he moved to the top of the bed rail and leaned the upper half of his body over the mattress to get as close to my face as he could while I began to vaguely describe the world called Erith. I began telling him of its matriarchal and color-caste system and finally the Purple's main responsibility, that of donating sperm to fertilize the Chooser's eggs which were then implanted in an artificial uterus and placed into the Purple's body. His blue eyes widened with disbelief as I described Duwan's world, but he said remained silent as I forged ahead to describe my counterpart's contract with his Chooser, Mistra Hildah, and explained that when Duwan had been taken from his world, switching places in the vortex with me, I was placed smack dab into my counterpart's life, assuming his rank as a Purple and, unbeknownst to me at the beginning, saddled with fulfilling his contract with his Chooser.

"The long and the short of it is that I'm pregnant, Quatre," I told my friend, looking him straight in the eye. I wasn't embarrassed by the fact, even though in my world I probably should have been. I decided that I wouldn't be ashamed of my condition nor by the fact that I needed someone to help me. "And I need your help," I added. It was almost comical to observe his jaw drop and two blue-green eyes almost pop out of his blond head.

Quatre, when a sound finally made it out of his tight throat, sputtered at first, then in a shocked, strangled voice exclaimed, "You're what?"

"Shh," I hushed him frantically, wanting him to keep his voice down. "This has to be kept a secret. That's why I need your help." I caught his nearest hand in mine to emphasize my earnestness. "I need a place that's away from curious eyes, near Sally and a hospital. It's imperative, Quat, that news of this doesn't get out. I don't want to be made into a side-show freak or poked and prodded by scientists as an object of curiosity. I might even need some help once the babies are born and at least until I can get back on my feet to support them."

"Babies?" I swear his voice skipped an octave on the second syllable of that one, astonishing word.

"Two," I chuckled, finding the shocked expression on his face to be pretty damn amusing. I wondered if I'd worn the same expression when I received the same news.

The wide blue eyes left my face and traveled slowly south to my stomach. "That's ... unbelievable. You're sure?"

"Positive. Sally says that despite the return trip through the vortex, they're doing fine."

As Quatre's more coherent reasoning skills kicked back in, his expression of shock was replaced by a more thoughtful one. Blue-green eyes rose questioningly. "Are you going to tell the others?"

I knew the others meant the three that were probably waiting outside the door. "I don't think so."

Quatre frowned at that. "They'll support and help you just like I will, Duo."

I shook my head, doubtful of his statement. "Ya know, Quat, when I was first sucked up into that thing, I was pretty torn up about what to do after our conversation about Heero and Trowa. Did you ever find out if they were cheating on us?"

"A couple of days after the accident at Leavesly, Trowa came home and broke the news that Heero suspected the person we believed was you was actually a double from another world. He also informed me that he was going to stay with Heero for a while, just to help him out until he got his head together. Heero, he explained, was understandably upset." Quatre paused, and a look of guilt crossed his handsome face. "I'm not proud in admitting that when Trowa mad that announcement, I threw a fit," he admitted, looking dismal. "I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I was just so hurt and angry that the accusations came flying unchecked out of my mouth. I asked him point blank if he and Heero had been having an affair behind our backs."

"What did he say?" I asked, my voice a fearful whisper as my stomach twisted into a tight knot. The moment of truth had come, and it filled me with dread

An air of sadness seemed to surround my friend as he answered. "He didn't say anything. Oh, he looked shocked, but I don't know if it was because I'd blown up at him or if it was because of my accusation. He merely turned away from me, picked up his packed bags and left with me yelling at him that you'd been taken from this world thinking you'd been betrayed by both he and Heero and that I would never forgive him for that." Quatre looked deflated as he added, "I haven't spoken to him since. I just now saw him for the first time since then, when he arrived from the airport."

I reached over and embraced my friend who'd obviously been suffering the entire time I'd been gone. Though it still hurt thinking that Heero and Trowa had cheated on us, I was pretty sure I was past the point of shedding tears over it. While holding my friend, my mind went over the few facts I'd been given. They didn't add up. If Trowa and Heero were together, why had Heero worked tirelessly to get me back, as Sally had indicated. Was it guilt or love that had fueled his actions? And if Trowa had just arrived by airplane, that pointed out that he hadn't been living with my former lover. I clearly didn't have enough information to put the pieces of this puzzle together.

"I honestly don't know what to believe right now, Quat. My head feels like it's spinning and, damn, it hurts. Where the hell is Sally with some meds?"

"Lie down and close your eyes," my friend said, sounding sympathetic of my pain. "If Sally doesn't return in a few moments, I'll go find her." I did as he asked, but the headache didn't recede.

"I can't even imagine what you've been through," he said as he placed a cool palm against my forehead, and surprisingly, the touch was comforting. "So, you need a secure place to go, no prying eyes and close to the hospital, correct?"

I mumbled yes, glad for the change in subject.

"Then you're coming home with me. I've been living in London for the last couple of months but I still have the house here and it's only ten minutes from the hospital. Do you want to come live with me, Duo?"

"You shouldn't have to rearrange your life for me," I said, feeling grateful for his offer as well as guilty for having to ask for it.

"I can conduct my business from anywhere, you know that. You need a friend now and I intend to be here for you."

"Thanks, Quatre." I opened my eyes to look at him, gazing fondly down on me from my bedside. I was overwhelmed by his generosity and found myself choked up and unable to express how grateful I was that our friendship had proved steadfast after having weathered months of separation.

"What are you going to tell Heero? He's out there and bent on seeing you."

I sighed and closed my eyes again, dreading the upcoming confrontation. "I'll tell him the truth, or part of it, that I'm confused, disorientated and that I need some time and space to figure things out. Trowa's not living with him, is he?"

"No. Wufei wrote to me often and pretty much kept me up to date on what Heero was attempting to do. He was worried that Heero might be working himself to death over a desperate theory. He was obsessed with re-creating the accident that caused the vortex. Wufei also informed me that Trowa had gone back to the circus, which was traveling through Europe. That happened a few days after he left me to join Heero. If something was going on, Duo, it appears that it didn't last."

"If?" I asked, easing one eye open.

Quatre looked sheepish. "He never admitted to it. I thought for a while that his silence was as good as a guilty confession, but after hearing he'd left Sanq, I wondered if what I'd assumed was correct or not."

"My head hurts," I moaned, closing my eyes again and putting my arm over the top of my aching head. I couldn't deal with any more twists and turns when the simple act of thinking hurt.

"Do you want me to call Sally?"

"Yeah, I'd appreciate it."

I heard my friend leave the room and lowered my arm to rest it over my forehead, blocking out the light coming though the window on the far wall and hoping Sally would return quickly and give me something for the blinding pain.

"Duo?" Heero's voice sounded almost timid as he softly called out to me from the doorway. I lifted my arm up fractionally to squint at him. He stepped inside the door looking the worst I think I've ever seen him since the war. As he walked to my bedside, it was hard to miss the dark shaded circles around his eyes and the unusually long hair that seemed more wild than ever as it fell unevenly just above his shoulders. His face was stubbled and the Preventer uniform, usually a perfect fit and meticulously ironed, was wrinkled and hanging from his thinner body. Frankly, it looked as if he'd been the one sucked up into the vortex a couple of times.

"Hey," I answered him, holding back any comments about his surprising appearance. I lowered my arm back down to my stomach, making sure the blanket covered the bulge there.

We didn't speak for several moments, but let our eyes explore and taking in the changes in each other while searching for appropriate words to say after all that had happened. Then slowly Heero bent at the waist and over the bed rail to bring his face closer to my own. His lips touched mine and he gave me a sweet, chaste kiss. It was brief, but it somehow seemed to represent the change in our relationship. When Heero broke the brief contact, he brought his forehead to rest against my own and at that close range I breathed in the scent that was uniquely Heero. I suddenly was struck by how much I had missed it, missed him. His breathing was ragged and I realized he was struggling to control his emotions. I was having a similar problem. Being reunited after all that had happened brought both feelings of happiness and guilt, the latter resulting from my life in Erith. I also experienced a welling of the anger I'd repressed for so long at Heero's lies. I was definitely conflicted, knowing what I needed to do next and not wanting to deny myself Heero's presence, nor his touch. It was the life growing within me, however, that made the reason for my decision more clearer. Heero didn't make that decision any easier when he placed his hands on both sides of my face and looked deeply into my eyes. I fought the urge to bring him back down to kiss him properly. Instead, my hands kneaded his upper arms, feeling the tense muscles under his shirt.

"I thought I'd lost you forever." Heero's agonized whisper went straight to my heart.

"I thought I'd lost you, too," I answered, swallowing with difficulty. Not too original, but with his eyes devouring my face and my head threatening to crack open from the pain of my excruciating headache, I wasn't thinking very well. "I'm sorry, Heero. So sorry." I wasn't exactly sure what I was apologizing for. Maybe it was remorse for being sucked up into the vortex and leaving him behind, or perhaps it was giving in so easily to the lure of the other world. It could very well have been for having mind-blowing sex I'd had with his and Trowa's doubles. I suppose in the long run I was apologizing for what I was about to do.

Moving my hands from his arms, I gently pushed back on his shoulders, needing some space to compose myself for the task ahead. It was hard, though, when Heero refused to budge and began to stroke my cheeks with his thumbs.

"Are you all right?" he asked, frowning with concern. "When did Sally say you can come home?"

Clearing my throat and gathering my courage, I found my eyes fixed on his neck. It was just too hard to look into Heero's eyes and do what I had to. "I guess I'm all right, just kind of banged up and I have the headache from hell. I think I'm more emotionally messed up than anything else." I paused a moment and was grateful when he didn't say anything. Gathering up my courage, I continued. "I've just come from a very strange world where I had no choice but to fit in and play Duwan's part. It was so different from anything I could have imagined, so alien in comparison to our world. I was just getting used to it, had adjusted to my role there, believing I'd never see Earth or you and the others again, and then I'm suddenly back here. I feel like I'm on a slippery slope, Heero, and fighting in vain for some kind of balance."

"You'll feel better once we get you home," he told me with his usual confidence and from the corner of my eyes I could see part of his soft, encouraging smile.

"Um... that's the thing," I said, chewing on my left lower lip while staring at the third button on his wrinkled shirt. "I don't think I'm ready to pick up where we left off."

I quickly glanced up to his face to gage his reaction and saw Heero's eyebrows draw down with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I need some time to get my head together, Heero. I don't think I can go right back to the apartment, back to my life as it was. I need some time and space to digest what I've gone through without worrying about our relationship. The things I've seen and experienced have had a life changing effect on me." Man, was that the understatement of the century.

A flicker of hurt flashed in the dark blue eyes and I was sorry for it, but I couldn't back down now.

"Tell me the truth, Duo. Is it that you're not ready to come home or is it me you're avoiding?"

Damn, why did Heero always have to be so perceptive? "Let me ask you a question, _Heero_, one that's plagued me all the time I've been gone." I could feel my resolve to not get angry beginning to dissolve even as my temples continued to pound. "Did you lie to me before the accident about doing laundry and visiting Mr. Katsumorri on Tuesdays and taking a class on Thursdays?"

Heero's eyes widened fractionally before he lowered his head, giving me my answer without a single word spoken. Through gritted teeth I asked, "Were you sneaking off with Trowa behind my back?"

This time I heard Heero's breath catch in his throat, and I forged ahead, gaining steam along with rising anger. "I checked, Heero. Can you imagine how I felt after learning from our neighbor that you only spent a few minutes with him, and that for nearly three hours you were unaccounted for, just like Trowa? You lied to me when you said you were doing laundry and visiting that old man on the first floor."

Heero's mouth closed and his lips pressed firmly together even as his eyes blazed with some unknown emotion. "I called the college and, much to my surprise, I found out that you'd lied to me again. There was no Japanese History class taught on Thursday nights. Where were you all those hours, Heero? Were you spending Thursdays with Trowa also?" My voice had risen along with my ire even though I was almost blind from the pain in my head, but I couldn't seem to stop my tirade now that I'd begun. I was definitely on an verbal and emotional roll. I thought, after all the time that had passed, that I'd be able to remain calm and retain some dignity during this dreaded conversation, but the hurt resurfacing was just as strong as it had ever been, and despite the timpani pounding in my head, I began shouting at the shell-shocked man standing next to my bed.

"How do you think I felt believing you were carrying on behind my back with my best friend's lover and your partner?"

The door to my room burst open and Trowa and Wufei came bounding into the room with Sally and Quatre hot on their heels, obviously reacting to my raised voice.

"Duo, you don't understand," Heero pleaded in a strangled voice.

"Were you with Trowa or not?" I shouted, livid, shaking and clutching at my temples with both fists.

"Stop this right now!" Sally interjected, putting herself between Heero and myself.

"Answer me, Heero!" To my utter embarrassment, I began to cry as I waited for an answer that didn't seem to be forthcoming.

"Calm down, Duo. Your getting this upset isn't good for your... condition," Sally said in a firm voice as she put a hand on my face and turned my line of sight from Heero to herself. "Calm down."

I nodded, then turned my tear-filled eyes back to Heero. "Your silence answers for you, Heero," I choked out. "I don't know what I did wrong, but I can't be with you if I can't trust you. Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

I didn't see anyone else's reaction as I turned my face into my pillow and brought my arms up and over my head. I ignored everyone behind me while I struggled to cover my embarrassment at losing control my of my emotions. What the hell was wrong with me? I wondered. I'd been kidnaped the day before and had remained as cool as a cucumber. Now faced with my past and familiar people, the damn need to burst into tears seemed beyond my ability to control. Someone embrace me from behind and Quatre's soft but firm voice address those behind us. "If everyone would please leave the room so we can calm Duo down, we'll settle this matter another time in a more private setting." Even in my miserable state I could hear muffled words of concern and then the quiet shuffling of reluctant feet fading into the distance, telling me that the others were respecting Quatre's request.

"You mustn't upset yourself like this, Duo," Sally said a few moments later. "It isn't good for either you or the babies."

I nodded, but decided that until I could stop the infernal crying, I wasn't going to turn around.

"You can take him home as soon as we sign the papers for his release," Sally told Quatre. "I'll give him something for his headache, but it won't be very strong due to his pre... condition. What he really needs is some sleep. I want you to feed him healthy foods, avoid all alcohol and caffeine and I'll prescribe pre-natal vitamins. He'll need to have daily injections once we get the case Duo said he brought back with him. Wufei just informed me that he's got it in the truck of his car. I'll take the substance from one of the vials and have it analyzed. Hopefully, we'll be able to come close to duplicating whatever it was that sustained Duo's implanted uterus."

"I don't have any clothes to wear," I sniffed, feeling pathetic as I turned around to face the other two and wiped the moisture from my face. "Sorry," I apologized, utterly embarrassed. "I don't know what gets into me sometimes."

Sally gave me a knowing smile. "Women who are pregnant often experience fluctuating emotions. You're no doubt suffering from that same malady."

I nodded, accepting her explanation and remembering that Mueller had said something similar. I motioned down to my torn clothing. "Clothes?"

Quatre eyed my tattered and torn purple outfit I was wearing. "We'll use a patient gown to act like a robe. You can put it over what you're wearing," he suggested. "I'll buy you anything you need after we get you to the house and settled in, all right? Or would you prefer to have me send someone over to Heero's apartment for your things?"

"No." I could only imagine how hurt Heero would be if I did such a thing. "I won't be able to fit into anything anyway," I answered.

Sally left the room for a few minutes, then returned to give me a couple of pain pills. I felt numb from the previous emotional outburst as I forced myself to swallow them down. Quatre then helped me slip on the hospital gown Sally pulled from a drawer and he tired the strings together at the front of my throat. Then the two well meaning but hovering protectors finally left the room for a few minutes, saying something about signing release papers and getting a metal cutter. Their absence allowed me a few blessed moments to myself while I waited for the medication to kick in. I could only hope that the pillow I'd placed over my face sufficiently muffled my second bout of crying.

Continued soon...

Sorry for the delay in updating. Life's been...umm... hectic lately.


	20. Chapter 20 Adjusting

**Through The Vortex  
Bane's Desire  
Part 20 - Adjusting**

It took longer than we'd anticipated to get out of the hospital. Quatre handled the paper work that would release from the medical facility and, since we couldn't find another way to release the damn things, Sally went in search of a metal cutter to remove the corrective bands from my neck and ankles. Once the metal bands had been removed I felt both relieved and oddly bereft. Gone was the fear of receiving horrendous pain for doing something wrong, and so was the tangible reminder of the place that had been my home for several months. I had Sally put them into a plastic bag for me to take when I left the hospital.

My headache had finally faded by the time I exited the hospital doors two hours later, and after a silent ride in Quatre's sleek, silver sports car, we pulled into the private garage of his large home and remained inside the car while the garage door automatically closed behind us. After the morning's excitement of being pulled through the vortex and then my blow-up at Heero in the hospital, I felt both physically drained and depressed.

"Do you still love him?" Quatre's question startled me, but I knew the answer without a moment's hesitation. I glanced at him from out of the corner of my eye to see he was staring at the garage wall in front of us.

"Yeah. I think I'll always love Heero," I replied despondently. "What about you? Are you still in love with Trowa?"

A deep forlorn sigh came from my friend, now my benefactor. Quatre closed his eyes and leaned forward to rest his forehead against his hands, clenching the top of the steering wheel. "I've tried my best not to, but I can't help it. I can't seem to get over him, Duo. It literally hurts... here," he lowered one hand to clutch his shirt over the area of his heart. "Especially when I see him and know that he's no longer mine."

I could only nod my head because I was struggling with myself to not start bawling again. There was only so much humiliation I could take in one day. I decided to hold onto what little pride I had left by changing the subject completely. "I'm hungry. Got any food inside?"

We entered the stately home together and paused to take inventory of the interior. It was obvious that the house hadn't been lived in for a couple of months. Dust was thick on the sheeting that covered the furniture, tables and light fixtures. I looked to Quatre, questioningly. "Where have you been staying if not here?"

"Wufei told me Heero was going to try to retrieve you today. I flew into town last night from London and stayed at a hotel." He turned his head to me and smiled. "How could I not be here if there was the slightest chance that my best friend might be returned?"

I slung my arm around his shoulder and he immediately turned into me, embracing me so tightly that I wondered if he was reassuring himself that I was really there. When we finally separated, we exchanged weary grins, then Quatre returned his gaze his home, which he'd apparently left months ago. He sighed with resignation and said, "Looks like I need to do some housecleaning." He took my arm and lead me through the dusty rooms and into the kitchen. "You should stay in here until I tidy up the place. I don't think all the dust is very good for the babies."

After taking down one of the kitchen chairs from off the tabletop and setting it on the floor, he motioned for me to sit, then promptly disappeared back into the other room with a look of determination in his eyes. I ignored the chair in favor of taking a tour of the kitchen. To my stomach's dismay I found the refrigerator empty and the cupboards bare other than a few cans of vegetables, fruit and jars of sauces and odd things like marinated artichoke hearts. I wrinkled my nose and wondered what in the world someone would use those for? I chalked it up to rich people food, never having had it before.

My friend returned short time later with a laptop which he promptly set up on the kitchen table. After booting it up, he logged onto a local grocery/delivery site and told me to order whatever I thought we'd need for a couple of weeks. Big mistake. The saying, "Never go shopping hungry," is certainly as wise as any Chinese proverb I've ever heard.I blame my growling stomach for my ordering a ridiculous, almost obscene amount of sweet, salty and chocolately treats, all the tasty things I'd missed while I'd been away. I looked the list over and, as an afterthought, I also ordered some quick-fix packaged foods and cans of soup thinking that Quatre or I could use them to whip up an evening meal without too much fuss.

After an hour of dusting and vacuuming, Quatre reviewed my order and promptly placed a re-order, including meat, bread, vegetables, fruits, juice and dairy products. I grinned sheepishly at him as he gave me a slight scolding, telling me I had to eat better, if not for myself then for the two babies. He disappeared once again, leaving me to amuse myself with his laptop. I found a couple of games on it that looked promising, but before getting into them I logged onto a free email website, set up my old email address and sent a message to both Howard and Hilde, telling them that I'd returned. I had no idea what Heero or anyone else told them about my absence, but I knew they would have missed my monthly emails, sent habitually just to keep in touch. During the time I spent on the computer, the constant hum of the vacuum running was heard in the background. I found the familiar sound of everyday life on Earth comforting.

The food came three hours later and Quatre had to handle the massive order himself because I was lounging in his jacuzzi bathtub. As I soaped up the wash cloth, my thoughts went back to Erith and to Mueller's gentle hands as he bathed me daily. How strange, I thought, that I'd gotten used to someone taking care of me in such a personal way, especially since I've always been so independent. Thinking about Mueller, I found myself missing my caretaker even though it had only been that morning since I'd seen him. I was amused by the thought that for the first time in a very long while I was bathing by myself. Unbidden moisture filled my eyes as I mourned the absence of the man who had been my constant companion, guide and friend in a world that had been so foreign to me, knowing that I'd never see him again. It all seemed like some sort of strange dream to me now that I was back on Earth, an escape from all the problems and heartache I'd left behind months ago. Yet the rounded belly that I touched with a gentle sweep of my fingers was proof that Erith had been anything but a dream.

Easing myself against the back of the large bathtub, still smaller than the one in my cleansing room, I let my head rest against the top edge and slid down into a more comfortable position, with the warm water covering all of me but my face. I wondered where Heero was and what he was thinking. Even though the man had caused me unbelievable heartache I hadn't meant to blurt out the questions that had haunted me for months. I realized my condition and shifting emotional state was probably partially to blame, but I just couldn't get Heero's expression of shock out of my mind. I had to work a bit to convince myself that things were better this way. With Quatre's financial support and resources to help me, and his and Sally's pledge to keep my secret, I could have my children without involving anyone else. I couldn't imagine telling Heero that I was pregnant or that I'd slept not only with his double, but Trowa's as well. The ramifications of such a confession were more than I wanted to contemplate. It was better to keep this distance between us, I thought. Once the babies were delivered I could move somewhere else and begin again, possibly telling people I met that my wife had died during childbirth when answering their questions about where the children's mother was. Heero and my other friends would never have to know about my condition, my life as a Chosen nor of my Erithian lovers. Satisfied with that thought, I closed my eyes and slowly began to drift off into a comfortable doze in the warm bath water. I don't think it was too much later that the sound of a cell phone ringing startled me awake.

The water had cooled so I decided to get out of the tub. I rinsed out my hair, pulled the plug and listened to the sound of the water going down the drain while I toweled off. Wrapping my damp hair into a towel upon my head, I put on the larger robe Quatre had given to me and made my way down the stairs, following the sound of my friend's unhappy sounding voice.

"No, Wufei. I appreciate the fact that you want to help but Duo needs some time to rest and recover. Having Heero and Trowa meet with us this soon isn't a good idea. No, I don't think tomorrow is any better. Give me some time to get him settled and to see how he adjusts. You saw how emotional he was. He's upset and disorientated."

Quatre paused, probably listening to Wufei's further arguments.

"I understand," he said, and was obviously striving to be patient. "No." A sigh. "And I want you to see that the both of them stay away from us for the time being. Duo is the priority now. His needs supercede everyone and everything else." There was another long pause before the blond's voice softened. "I really do appreciate your help, Wufei. Yes, I'll tell Duo you called, and I'm sure once I've gotten him settled he'd like to see you, too."

Walking soundlessly into the kitchen with a towel-turbaned head and wearing the large bathrobe I believed had once belonged to Trowa, my eyes went immediately to Quatre. With his back to me, he held a cordless phone to his ear while he continued to work at putting the groceries away in the cabinets and refrigerator. He spun around, probably catching a glimpse of me as I sat at the table, and said a hasty goodbye to Wufei before hanging up and putting the phone down on the counter. He gave me a guilty smile and asked, "You heard?"

"Part of it." I shrugged. "Thanks. I'm really not up to repeating another scene like the one in the hospital this morning."

"I didn't think so." Joining me at the table he sat in the chair next to mine and turned to study me with an appraising eye. "Despite everything you've been through, you look great, Duo."

"Thanks," I muttered, feeling self conscious. "So, do you think we have enough food?"

The blond snorted and rolled his eyes. "I think between the both of us we managed to clean out the store." He nodded his head towards the bags behind him on the counter that looked to number about a dozen.

"Now that I think about it, all the time I was on Erith I never saw food come into Hilda's abode, nor did I see it prepared." Quatre moved to the table and sat down, waiting for me to tell him more. "The food on Erith was completely different than it is here," I told him, warming to the subject. "It consisted mostly of vegetables, if that's what you'd call it. There was nothing I recognized even though the textures seemed similar, as were the tastes of sweet, bitter and sour. But their spices were different, and everything tasted... wonderful." I couldn't help the pleasurable smile that rose at the memory of the food I'd eaten there. "Every morsel that was put into my mouth was like nothing I'd ever tasted before. Still, it'll be good to have familiar food again."

"So their food was better?" Quatre's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"It was very good, but their drinks were out of this world, literally." I laughed at that. "I swear, Quatre, I've never tasted anything as perfect as their elixirs." I then went on to explain the light and fruity-sweet taste of the many drinks I'd sampled, and that I'd come to the conclusion that they were laced with drugs because each one seemed to have a purpose: relaxation, sleep, cleansing the palate, etc. Then I made the mistake of expounding on the virtues of one particular elixir. "One drink worked like an instant sexual stimulant." I laughed and felt my face heat up at the memory of my first encounter with the passion elixir, clearly not thinking about what I was saying. "I thought it was just a regular drink and downed the whole shot glass, not knowing you were supposed to take only a sip of it. The effects were immediate, and damn, Quat, I came more in that night than I ever thought was possible."

Quatre's eyes suddenly widened with shock and I realized that I'd said way too much. "Who'd you have sex with, Duo?" I hated the accusing tone in his voice. Even though I knew that question was bound to come up after I'd spouted out my last sentence, I was still at a loss as to how to explain my actions on Erith and not have my friend think the worst of me. I mentally scolded myself for my lack of discretion. I really had to get a handle on my mouth, a fact that was more important now that I was back home and with so many secrets to hide.

"Duo!" Quatre had been waiting patiently for my answer, but then his eyes narrowed and I knew he was trying to put two and two together. If he'd been informed that Heero and Trowa's doubles were Duwan's lovers, then he'd be figuring out two of my secrets any minute.

"You gotta understand that Erith was completely unlike Earth," I rushed to explain. "The whole structure of their society was so different from ours. I felt lost for the longest time and I honestly didn't think I'd ever see any of you again. Come on," I pleaded with him, hoping for his understanding. "You and I both know it's a damn miracle that Heero was able to get the failed Leavesley experiment duplicated and that his throwing Duwan into the vortex would bring me back. I was dropped into his strange world and had no choice but to fit into Duwan's place until I could figure out what the hell was going on. Believe me, it wasn't easy and most of the time I was so confused that I didn't understand what the was going on until it was too late.

"Duwan's world consisted of making and fulfilling contracts," I explained. "And as a Chosen, he had a binding contract with Mistra Hildah, his Chooser. Mueller, my caretaker, was the only person I confided in that I wasn't Duwan. He advised me to take my double's place completely and fulfill his contract so that I didn't end up having my color stripped from me, one of the worst punishments on Erith. I honestly thought I was just going to be a glorified sperm donor, Quat, and that didn't seem like an impossible thing to do . I didn't know about Duwan's personal life for a while or understand the true role of a Purple until the artificial uterus was already inside of me."

My blond friend nodded. He wore an intense and serious look on his face as he listened to me. Then his eyes widened as he finally put the facts together. "By the colonies, Duo, you had sex with Heero and Trowa's doubles, didn't you?"

I decided that maybe, like Heero, silence was my best answer.

"Duo!" A look of disapproval crossed my friend's usually agreeable face.

"It wasn't like that," I insisted. "You don't understand, Quat. I don't think anyone can. Heeron was Duwan's established lover, and after the passion elixir incident, we were hardly strangers. Everyone, even Mueller who knew my secret, treated me as if I was Duwan. I had virtually stepped into another person's life, just like the understudy of a play, and I was trapped in the role of being Duwan by Erith's society." I looked beseechingly to my friend. "It wasn't horrible being there, just strange and entirely foreign. I didn't know what else to do other than go with the flow.

Quatre's eyes never left my face. I knew he was waiting for me to tell him what he really wanted to know, the part that could end our friendship. Resigned, I had no choice but to tell him about my affair with his former lover's double. "I first met Trowa's double at a place that was similar to an art gallery Mueller took me to hours before I had the fertilized artificial uterus implanted. He seemed nice enough at first, kind of shy and pretty much like our Trowa. But something seemed off with him, and I didn't find out what it was until later. His name was Tradell, and he came with his Choosers to a party Hildah threw to celebrate the success of the implant, about three weeks after the artificial uterus had been put inside me. It was then that I discovered Tradell was also carrying a child. Man, Quat, you should have seen him. He was really big, nearing the end of the pregnancy."

I paused a moment to let my friend visualize not only the world I'd been describing, but also a pregnant Trowa. Quatre didn't say a word, but there was a perplexed expression on his face as ran his fingers through his hair, a sign that he was contemplating something seriously. I could only hope I was explaining myself well enough so that my best friend wouldn't write me off as a complete loser. When his eyes turned and met mine once again, I continued with my explanation.

"Both Tradell and Herron were in attendance at the party that night. Herron acted overly possessive because he was jealous of Tradell. I'd been trying carry on a conversation with Tradell, hoping to get some information out of him about being pregnant and what it was like. It was during that conversation that I learned that Duwan and Tradell were lovers. Shortly after that Herron waylaid me and we disappeared into my room for a short while for a..." I cleared my throat nervously, hoping Quatre wouldn't make me explain about the brief tryst in my room. I quickly went on with the story. "When we came back to the main room, it was obvious that Tradell had been hurt by my lack of attention towards him. There was a... scene. I learned the hard way that juggling two jealous lovers is anything but easy. I was ordered by Hildah to go to Kattron's abode that next day. Oh, that's your double by the way." I added hastily, then continued. "I was expected to make things right with his Chosen. When I went into his room, Tradell was so insecure about his appearance and by my, or rather, Duwan's lack of visits that I didn't have it in me to deny him, especially when he was so obviously in love with my counterpart."

"Trowa was pregnant and I was his Chooser?" Quatre said with a look of disbelief on his face.

"Tradell," I corrected him. "And he was Kattron and Dorothea's Chosen, carrying their child. Tradell was also in love with Kattron, and he loved him enough to contract with his choosers to bear them three progeny... I mean children," I quickly corrected myself. "From what I understood, bearing more than two offspring for a Chooser is a very rare occurrence."

"Dorothea?" Quatre voice actually squeaked as he drew the correct conclusion as to who she was. I couldn't help but laugh at the horrified expression on his face.

"Our Dorothy without the eyebrows," I snickered. "Pretty funny, isn't it?"

The look of horror slowly faded from my friend's face and the corners of his mouth began to twitch upward. I decided to give him a little more information. "And get this, Wufei's double was a nurse, or the equivalent of one, to none other than Sally's twin, though I didn't get to know him on a personal level."

Quatre's smile was both warm and genuine by that time, and I mentally sighed with relief that he didn't seem to hate me for sleeping with Heero and Trowa's doubles. "I think those two were meant to be together," he said. "Yin and Yang, and the baby is the glue that makes their union perfect."

"How is she?" I asked, thinking of Wufei's daughter and how she must have changed during the months I'd been gone.

"From the reports I've gotten from Wufei, Fei-Lyn is healthy, highly intelligent and absolutely perfect. He sent me some pictures and she looks just like a little China doll, so beautiful," Quatre answered wistfully. He and I both have always had a soft spot for children and have fussed excessively over and doted on the little girl we considered our niece.

Several moments passed in silence as I thought of my life on Erith, of children in general and that I now had two life-long souvenirs of my journey to that far away place growing in my belly.

"I don't know what to think about you having sex with two people who looked like Heero and Trowa. They did look like them, didn't they?" Quatre asked.

Damn, I thought we'd finished with that subject. "Yeah, they looked almost exactly like our guys," I answered. "But their faces were soft, carefree in appearance rather than lined with the evidence of our less than peaceful lives. They were also more... naive, sheltered and innocent, in all ways other than sexual." I grinned at that, then continued. "Their world was so... different from Earth, without the level of crime that we have here and where living up to one's contract was the most important goal in their lives. Erith was clean and orderly; even the air smelled sweet, free of the chemicals and fumes that pollute our world. It's a place that has figured out how to live in relative peace and everything was done with a purpose in mind. It was pretty weird how they managed it all, and there were some elements that I found unappealing." I was thinking about the Whites and how they were mistreated.

The blond's eyes lit up as inspiration struck. "I know what you should do," he said, suddenly excited. "You need to sit down in front of my computer and write down everything that happened to you from the day you were sucked into the vortex. Describe this parallel universe that you lived in for the past several months, its customs, food, norms and mores and all of your experiences before you forget some of the details and names."

"I don't know, Quat," I said, worried and uncertain. "What if someone gets a hold of it?"

"Then you tell them you have a vivid imagination. Besides," the blond continued. "Director Une will want a report from you because, technically, you were on a Preventer mission and missing for months. You can just edit out what you don't want her to know."

"I don't want anyone but you and Sally to know about my condition," I told him firmly. "After the babies are born, I'll find a new place to live. I haven't thought it all out yet, but I might just tell people we come into contact with that the twins' mother died during childbirth. That way we'll start fresh with no one delving into where the twins came from and then I'll raise them like normal children."

"Duo!" I was surprised by the look of shock on my friend's face. "You know lying only leads to more lies and they get harder to cover up once you begin telling them."

"Then you tell me what the hell I should do?" I asked, becoming upset. "I can't go around telling co-workers, neighbors, doctors, babysitters and schools that I'm the mother and the father of the two. That truth would draw just a bit too much attention, don't ya think?" I leaned my shoulders against the chair's back and placed my two hands over my stomach. "I won't have my children, two innocents, made a public curiosity."

"You could always say they were test-tube babies, like most of my family," Quatre suggested. "It's a bit closer to the truth than saying their mother died during childbirth. Believe me, that's a painful thing for a child to live with, knowing that their very existence killed their mother."

I gasped, suddenly realizing that my friend was speaking from his own experience. Only a few people knew that the last Winner child was plagued by feeling of guilt for his mother's demise at his birth. I reached over and placed my hand over my friend's hand, resting on the table. "I'm sorry, Quat. You're right, of course. I was only thinking about the easiest way to handle explaining the absence of a mother, not what they'd think when they had to live with that excuse." I offered him a weak smile of apology. "See, I need my best buddy to help me out with things like this. Not ever having any parents is like looking into the great unknown becoming one myself."

"And with not one baby, but two," Quatre added. It was clear that important fact still kind of freaked blondie out. Then a look of apology came to my friend's face. "I'm afraid I don't know much about taking care of babies or raising children either, Duo. My father was absent much of the time while I was growing up. I lived in a wealthy and privileged environment and was basically reared by nannies who were occasionally given respite by one of my older sisters. Don't get me wrong, I was well cared for, but it's not the way I would raise a child of my own."

"Have you ever wanted to be a parent?" I asked while absent-mindedly rubbing my hands over my swollen abdomen.

Quatre leaned back in his chair and gave the question a moment's thought. "I always thought I wanted to be a father, but not of a large family like the one I came from. A couple of children would have been nice, but it's kind of a moot point with my being gay, don't you think?"

"Not necessarily," I grinned. "You could do what they did on Erith, get a surrogate to carry a child for you. You could even do it anonymously through a lawyer, or find out your bi and get yourself a wife." I knew instantly that I'd said the wrong thing by the pained look in my friend's eyes. "Sorry," I said quickly.

Quatre waved off my apology. "No, forget it. It's ridiculous for me to want something I can't have."

"And what's that?" I asked, knowing that Quatre Winner could virtually buy anything in the world or colonies that he desired. "What do you really want, Quat?"

He sighed and his sad-looking eyes rose to meet mine. "I want what I had with Trowa before it all fell apart, before the deceptions, the lies by omission and the silence that followed my questions and accusations." Setting his elbows on the smooth and cool surface of the wood table, Quatre buried his head in his upraised hands and moaned miserably, "What am I going to do, Duo? I don't want anyone but Trowa."

Moving as quickly as I could out of my chair, I went to Quatre's side, bent over and wrapped my arms around him. "What a pair we are," I whispered into his pale blond hair and felt Quatre's arms rise to wrap around me in return, both of us seeking reassurance and maybe, for just a moment, a bit of physical comfort from another person.

"Maybe it's not too late," I told him when I finally pulled away to look down into his handsome but sad face. "Maybe you and Trowa just need to sit down and talk. Now that you've had some time apart, maybe you can do that without so much anger clouding the issues."

"I don't know, Duo," Quatre said, raking his fingers through his fine hair. "In all the time that has passed from the moment he walked out the door, he hasn't tried to contact me in any way."

"Have you tried contacting him?"

The blond shook his head from side to side. "It just hurts too much. With you gone, Heero being part of the problem and obsessed with getting you back and Wufei trying to be supportive to all of us, I didn't know what to do or who to talk to. I certainly couldn't go to my family. They'd have given me the 'I told you so' speech."

"Well I'm here now," I told him with a reassuring grin. "And somehow we'll muddle through this mess. But first, I really need some clothes. Your place is nice and all, Quat, but it's a bit drafty."

His blue eyes took in my slightly gaping robe, the hem of which came to a point just below my knees, and he grinned. "I see what you mean. Buying you clothing is now at the top of my list of things to do, but first..." He reached for the closed laptop and opened it up once again. I watched as he deleted some old programs and documents to free up some space, then he turned it back over to me. "Use this to write your story. If you'd like, I'd be more than happy to do the editing."

It was very late in the afternoon by the time Quatre left me to run to the nearest mall with the intention of purchasing some clothes for me. We'd jointly come to the conclusion that the regular maternity shops wouldn't carry anything that would suit my taste. In his absence, I sat in front of the computer and contemplated how to approach writing down my memories. After ten minutes had passed, I put my fingers on the keyboard and began my story, starting from the moment I walked into the hair salon across the street from the Preventer building on that fateful day.

TBC

Note: Thanks to all who reviewed, especially Keiichisel, who began at the beginning and reviewed along the way. I think that's the greatest number of reviews I've had since the story began. Also, a basket full of gratitude for my long-suffering proofreader.


	21. Chapter 21 Comeuppance

**Through the Vortex  
****Chapter 21**

**Comeuppance**

I can only imagine that Quatre Winner stood out like a sore thumb in the local shopping mall as he picked out large-sized men's clothing, mostly sweat pants, T-shirts and fleeced over shirts. The shopping bags bearing the label of a well-known men's store held three different sizes of boxers, a large number of socks, a pair of expensive tennis shoes and slippers as well as several overly-large sets of pajamas. Along with those items, he bought toiletries he thought I might need, including a toothbrush and paste, shaving supplies, deodorant and hair supplies.

He was probably surprised to come home two hours later to a dark and ominously quiet house. I followed his entry from the garage by the close of the door and listened to his footsteps as he climbed the stairs to the second floor, plastic packages crinkling as he walked. He approached my bedroom and hesitated a moment outside my door before knocking. "Duo? Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I sniffed, answering him from my position in the middle of the large bed. He opened the door and came in, letting the hall light spill into my otherwise dark room. I can't imagine what he thought when he saw me curled up under the covers having yet another emotional meltdown. I'd been set off this time by my writing about the day that changed my life forever and then realizing the enormity of my situation now that I was back on Earth. I went from being mildly optimistic about the future to the depths of despair in less than two-hours.

"What's the matter?" my friend asked, dropping the shopping bags in his hands and coming quickly to the bed. He must have glimpsed my red splotchy face and watery eyes. "Did something happen while I was gone? Are you all right?" He reached out his hand to touch my robe-covered shoulder, no doubt feeling the trembling of my body as I fought and failed to compose myself. "Please talk to me, Duo." He sat on the edge of the mattress, and other than my pitiful sniffles, the room was quiet while Quatre patiently waited for me to answer him.

I've decided that being alone after the sun sets, sitting in the darkness with my thoughts and memories, is not very good for my mental health. After I'd written several pages about my experiences, and ending with my being sucked up into the vortex, I'd paused to contemplate the twists and turns of my life. The enormity of the task that lay ahead of me seemed insurmountable, including living without Heero and the reality of being a single parent to twins. I was just suddenly overwhelmed by it all, and it became too much for me to bear. I suspected the hormones injected daily into my system and my physical condition didn't help matters. The emotions that I usually kept controlled and hidden behind an easy smile, suddenly had a loose valve that let all my inner turmoil come bursting out, whether I wanted them to or not.

"Oh, Quat." I turned my wet, fear-filled eyes to my concerned friend, feeling panic building in my chest. "What am I going to do? How can I raise two kids on my own? I don't know anything about babies or how to take care of them. How the hell do you put on a diaper and what do they eat?" My friend brushed the hair away from my face as I blathered on. "As Hildah's Chosen I didn't have to worry about how I was going to support or care for two kids. I... I can't possibly go back to Preventers and living life on the edge when I'm responsible for two lives. Honestly, I was sick to death of law enforcement, but it's all I know. How can I possibly work and make a living at any job with two babies to take care of?"

I knew I was rambling, but I hadn't realized that my voice had risen or that I sounded as panicked as I felt until I heard Quatre trying to calm me. "Shh, it's all right, Duo," he said soothingly, sounding infinitely calm. He was being the anchor I needed to cling to at that moment. "I told you, I'm here for you. I'm going to help you emotionally, physically and financially. If you'll let me, I'll see to it that the three of you want for nothing."

I shook my head, ignoring the tears on my face. "It's not right. We're not your responsibility." I wiped at my eyes even though more tears were about to spill over.

"Are you saying that if I needed your help in some way that you wouldn't do what you could for me?"

I shrugged and hiccupped. "Of course I'd help. It's just not the same."

"Oh, but it is the same," he gently corrected me. "You and the babies can stay here or at any one of my other houses, and you can take classes online if you want to change careers. Then again, I can always use some help in my company. If you want to work from home, I could hire you for your computer skills on any number of jobs. We'd be helping each other out then, wouldn't we?"

I wiped at my face, trying to push my depression aside. "Sorry, Quat. I don't know what's gotten into me. Well, I do," I added and motioned to my belly. "But you know what I mean. I never gave into the urge to cry before and now I'm bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It's so damn embarrassing."

"I seem to recall one of my sisters doing the same thing when she was pregnant. She blamed the fluctuating hormones and her general discomfort. It passed soon after her baby was born."

"Shit, and I've got over three months to go."

"How far along are you, Duo?" Quatre frowned. I could see he was doing the calculations in his head and the numbers weren't adding up.

"A little more than three months. The A.U. speeds up the natural process. I'll deliver in my seventh month."

"How is that possible?" he asked, surprised.

"I don't know how any of this is possible," I answered, sounding miserable even to my own ears. "But Sally's going to try to find out and maybe use some of the technology to boost our own medical technology."

My friend smiled gently at me. "See? Anything is possible, Duo. You just have to have some faith in yourself and in me, and believe that things are going turn out all right." That's Quatre Winner for you, always looking for the silver lining of even the blackest cloud, an eternal optimist.

With our conversation having been turned to a more positive track, I began to feel marginally better. "Thanks, Quat." I even managed a smile as I wiped my damp face with the sleeve of Trowa's robe.

"You're welcome."

He stayed with me until I calmed completely, and after he'd gone downstairs with the excuse of starting some dinner, I heard him placing a call to Sally Poe, hoping for some insight into how to handle a pregnant, emotional male. I told myself that one day I would tell him how clearly his voice carried to the upstairs.

Quatre brought my dinner to me a short while later and for the life of me I can't recall what it was, only that it tasted bland in comparison to the food Mueller had fed me. Sometime after he left the room, I burrowed under the covers again and fell into a deep slumber, drained by my return through the vortex, my several emotional outbursts, and from all that had happened that day.

I awoke with a start sometime during the night, not sure what had awakened me. I placed my hand over my stomach to remind myself that the day before hadn't been a dream. I really was back on Earth, still pregnant and with a whole new set of problems to deal with.

"Duo?"

I jumped slightly and quickly pulled my blankets up to my chin when I recognized the voice calling my name. "Heero?" I felt a weight settle on the edge of the mattress to my left, and the small reading lamp was turned on to reveal Heero, dressed in dark jeans and a long-sleeve, black T-shirt. His face, even in profile, looked haggard and worn. My former lover, sitting within touching distance on the edge of my bed, turned his questioning gaze from the lamp to me.

"How long have you been here?" I asked, my voice groggy from sleep.

"About fifteen minutes."

"Why?"

There was a long pause before Heero answered, his voice low enough that Quatre wouldn't wake up and come rushing in. "I had to see you," he said earnestly. "Despite what Quatre and Wufei wanted, I couldn't stay away after what you'd said in the hospital this morning. I'm sorry, Duo. I... I thought I was being cautious enough that you'd never find out that I'd been going somewhere with Trowa on Tuesday and Thursday nights."

"Were you having an affair with him?" A part of me was afraid of hearing his answer, but another was relieved that I could finally put to rest the questions that had plagued me for far too long.

"No," he answered firmly.

"Do you love Trowa?"

"Only as a friend, never as a lover."

"Then what were you two doing sneaking around behind our backs?"

"I gave my word not to tell," he answered, looking defensive and conflicted. "It's Trowa's secret, not mine."

"So Trowa has a secret that somehow involves you, one that he doesn't want to tell Quatre and you don't want to tell me," I stated, recounting the facts. "Can you see how bad it looks from where we stand?" I asked.

"I know and I'm sorry," he rushed to say, his hand reaching out and clasping mine. "But I swear to you, I've never been unfaithful to you in any way, and I've known no other love but yours, Duo. Please, come home and let's start again. I've missed you so much." With that confession, he lunged forward, wrapped his arms around me and claimed my lips, kissing me with all the love and passion he possessed.

Call me weak or even a fool, but I accepted his kiss and clung to Heero while my mind tried to reconcile what he'd just said in reply to the accusations that had been bouncing around in my head for so long. If he was to be believed, and I didn't doubt his word, Heero had remained faithful to me. A sudden wave of my own guilt overwhelmed me. I'd made love to two men during the time we'd been apart while Heero had been faithful to me. Suddenly everything had twisted around and I was now the guilty party.

As our kiss softened and drew to an end, I was surprised to find Heero stretched out beside me, our bodies close enough to feel each other's warmth. It dawned on me that if he shifted closer, he might be able to feel the slight bulging contour of my body. I pulled back slightly, enough to curl up on my side to face him, hoping to protect my secret. Any further action on my part was stopped, however, when Heero whispered, "I love you, Duo. I need you more than anything else in my life. Please come home."

He was being honest and sincere - I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. I knew then that I had no choice but to be honest with him as well, at least about some aspects regarding my stay in Sangor. "Heero, I need to tell you about some of the things that happened to me during the last couple of months," I began, swallowing down my growing trepidation.

Pulling back slightly, Heero studied my face and stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. "You can tell me anything, Duo. You know that."

I nodded, wondering how to begin and afraid of how Heero was going to react. "What did you think of Duwan?" I asked, deciding on tackling this unavoidable problem from a different angle. Stalling is what my little inner voice was calling it. "Did he tell you much about his world?"

Heero raised one eyebrow then dropped his hand from my face and sighed. "At first we thought he was you because he looked exactly like you. Moments after he was spit out of the vortex, naked and unconscious, we rushed him to the hospital where Sally took over his care. When he regained consciousness, he started speaking gibberish, calling himself Duwan and asking for people by names we didn't know. He seemed to recognize some of us, but called us by strange names also. Sally thought he'd suffered some sort of brain trauma while in the vortex, which seemed logical because he'd sustained several blows to this head and had a mild concussion. After just a couple of hours in the hospital, I took him home, thinking you'd prefer it to the hospital. I was hoping that after being back in familiar surroundings you'd gain your memory back.

"Of course, he didn't recognize the apartment and didn't know how to do the simplest things for himself. He kept asking for his caretaker and to be taken to his chooser, and to some place called a center where he could complete his contract. At least I think that's what he said. He didn't go into what he meant, but he repeated his demands over and over.

"I began to notice differences in him, other than his odd behavior. Physical differences. He wore delicate chains on his ankles and a metal collar around his neck, like the ones you wore this morning when you returned. His skin was uncommonly smooth and hairless. Like I said, he used different names for all of us, and appeared completely unfamiliar with everything around him, including the city, a car, our apartment and even the food. I became even more suspicious of his behavior, especially when I had to explain to him how to use the toilet and take a shower and by the elaborate and bizarre world he often alluded to. It seemed too detailed to be just the workings of an imaginative mind.

"Then he demand to know what was wrong with me when I refused to have sex with him. I didn't think it was right to be intimate with you when you were so mixed up and kept calling me by another name. I began to entertain the possibility that he wasn't you. Then Trowa came over to help and Duwan threw himself into his arms, demanding of him all the things he'd demanded of me, even sex. That's when I knew he wasn't you. You would never cheat on me, especially with Trowa."

I knew at that moment what that saying meant, "Putting the last nail in the coffin." I was dead meat. Heero had named my sin, and what was worse was that he never believed I was even capable of it. Normally, he would have been right; cheating on him had never crossed my mind. Unfortunately, having been dropped into Erith with all the insecurities I had about myself, Heero and about our relationship, along with the need to fit into Duwan's life, not to mention the Passion Elixir, I was susceptible to Herron and his desire for me in the guise of his lover. The loud and steady pounding of my heart felt like the beat of a dirge being played to mark the imminent death of our relationship. While Heero continued to tell me what happened next, I had to force myself away from my inner turmoil in order to pay better attention to what he was saying.

"Duwan became very unhappy and fairly miserable to be around. He hated the food I prepared, complained about every drink I set in front of him and said his clothing chafed his skin. Nothing Trowa or I did seemed to help until I got a vid call from Relena. Once he heard her voice, he ran to the vid screen and took over the conversation, begging her to intercede on his behalf and find his chooser. Duwan then demanded I take him to visit Relena to re-negotiate his contract if his chooser couldn't be found. Of course we tried to figure out what he was talking about, but he was so agitated that very little of what he said made sense.

"By that time I'd decided he wasn't you. I was convinced that some form of transfer or switch had to have occurred within the energy vortex. I called Relena back, explained my theory to her and that told her I was going to figure out how to get you back. I asked her to care for Duwan until I could figure out how I was going to accomplish that feat."

I nervously cleared my throat, needing to interrupt. I felt unable to meet his eyes as I asked, "So he didn't tell you much about Erith or his role in his world?"

"He ranted, Duo." There was a touch of annoyance in his voice. "Most of the time I could hardly understand what he was saying much less what he meant. He was overly emotional and spoke strangely."

"But you understood that he had two lovers, well, he actually had three but I never met the third guy."

"Someone that looked like myself and Trowa, I assume?"

I nodded, "They looked almost exactly like the two of you."

"Tell me of this other world, Duo. How did you handle being in an unfamiliar place?"

I shrugged. "I was in shock at first, but it didn't take me too long to figure out I was in a completely different world than Earth. Everything was odd, the colors of nature weren't like here and their words and way of life was strange to say the least.

"The first person I met after I regained consciousness was Wufei's double and he corrected me by saying his name was Wudon. Sally's double came into the room and her name was Sallah. Realizing I wasn't just having a bad dream, because dreams don't hurt like I did, I figured I'd been displaced by some mad scientist's experiment gone wrong. During my time there, I learned that the Erithians are generally peaceful people, their society is a matriarchal-caste system. Yours, Trowa's and my doubles are in the third tier of that system, called Purple. Quatre, Wufei and Hilde's counterparts are Red, the second tier. Dorothy and Relena's doubles are Blues, the top dogs in that society. From what I was told, women born Blue had ruled Erith for a long time, beginning with the end of a global war in which the men of their world fought each other to near extinction. But that's another story altogether. Basically, the Reds, consisting mostly women and fewer men, are Blue's helpers, their support system. The women in those two upper levels of color are too busy to take time off to bear their own children, so surrogates are used for that purpose."

I stopped for a moment, wondering again how much more I should tell Heero. My conscience told me he deserved to know the truth. My brain, on the other hand, told me to do myself a favor and shut the hell up. Then Heero asked the question I'd hoped to put off for a while. Unknowingly, by changing the conversation away from what Duwan's purpose in Erith's society was, he'd forced me into a moral corner. To lie or not to lie, that was the question.

"What happened when you met Duwan's lovers?"

I think my swallow was loud enough to wake Quatre, sleeping in the other room. "Well, I didn't know they were his lovers at first," I began, sounding nervous even to my own ears. "Herron was by my side when I woke up in Duwan's room. He kissed me, thinking I was Duwan and then left. He lived with Relena's double as her chosen." I waved off the questions I could see Heero was wanting to ask. I didn't want to become distracted from what I had to say by telling him every detail of Erith's society. "I didn't see him again for a while, and when I did, he was brought to my bedroom again. My caretaker, Mueller, told me he was Duwan's lover, but even though I tried, I found myself at a loss, not knowing to how I should deal with him. I'd already told Mueller that I wasn't Duwan and he'd convinced me to keep up the facade of being my counterpart, fearing the consequences. But I swear to you, Heero, I meant to remain faithful to you."

Heero reached out suddenly and grabbed hold of my upper arm, pinching it painfully in his grip while his eyes, focused on me, dark and forbidding. "What did you do, Duo?"

I shut my eyes in order to block out the look of apprehension that flashed across Heero's face, knowing that his expression would turn to anger the moment I answered his question. Reluctantly, I went on with my story. "I was nervous and skittish, so when Herron approached me, I bolted to my bedside table and took a drink of what I thought was liquor. I'd hoped it would help to calm my nerves so I could think of a way out of the situation." I lowered my head, feeling ashamed. "I couldn't have made a worse move. I drank the whole thing not realizing that what I'd consumed was a drink referred to as the Passion Elixir. I found out almost immediately that it was like drinking a triple dose of Viagra. Herron, startled by what I'd done, drank a good amount of the elixir also... and I was beyond resistance."

The room remained deathly silent for a several long moments, forcing me to open my eyes. I raised my head, hoping Heero could see in my face the remorse I felt for having been so weak. "I'm sorry, Heero. I couldn't help myself. The drug was too overwhelming and Herron looked exactly like you, and in my mind he was you." I reached out for his hand, resting on his thigh, only to have him quickly move it, avoiding my touch.

Cold, steely eyes glared me, filled with hurt and anger. "Did you sleep with him again after that time?" he snarled. Unable to find my voice, I nodded. "And you had the balls to be angry with _me_ for what you believed was infidelity on _my_ part?" he asked, his voice rising with each word. "_You_ cheated on _me_!" he yelled and threw himself off of the bed, getting away from me as fast as he could.

"Heero, I'm sorry,"I said, pleadingly. "I don't know what else to say. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I was in a strange new world where my role in it was pretty messed up. I was confused and scared of the unknown and missing you like hell. I grieved for you countless nights, but I never thought I'd get back here to you. Believe me, I only did what I had to do to keep up the act of being Duwan. I felt obligated to fulfill his contract and Mueller told me that if I didn't, I'd end up stripped of my color. In Erith that means being thrown out to the gutter, to be less than a street rat. I didn't want to be that again, Heero. I... I was afraid." I pulled my blankets up and held them under my chin again, suddenly feeling very insecure under Heero's glowering presence.

"Did you have sex with Trowa's double also?"

I flinched, mentally and physically. One thing Heero has always been good at is getting straight to the point. Forget about beating around the proverbial bush, that was more my forte. What was there to say to such a question but the truth? I was beyond words at that point, so with my eyes burning with tears of shame I opted to give him a slight nod of my head. Heero promptly turned and stalked out of the bedroom, leaving me alone and feeling more miserable than I think I've ever been at any other time in my life. With my heart aching, I listened to him stomp angrily down the staircase. I knew the moment he got to the front door because he carelessly flung it open and let it slam forcefully against the inside wall, setting off the security alarm. Other than the irritating buzzing sound of the alarm he'd set off, the house fell still. He was gone,and my heart broke once again.

Quatre showed up about fifteen seconds after I buried my face into my pillow and let the dreaded tears flow. "Are you alright, Duo?" he asked, sounding anxious. When I didn't answer, I heard him run from the room. A short while after the alarm was turned off, a quick phone call was made and the house fell silent once more. My friend promptly returned to my side and I felt his weight settle on the bed. "Heero?" he asked. With my face still buried into the pillow, I confirmed his suspicions with a nod. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?"

That, I thought, was the stupidest question I'd ever heard. I turned my head slightly to answer him, still crying. "I don't think I'll ever be all right again. I just told Heero I.. I slept with Herron and Tradell."

"Oh, Duo," was the blond's sympathetic reply, and we both knew that it was going to be a long and sleepless night filled with mountains of regret.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22 The Truth Comes Out

**Through the Vortex  
**Bane's Desire  
**Chapter 22  
**The Truth Comes Out

After the first few days following Heero's impromptu visit, life began to settle into a routine. Quatre stalled the requested visit by Trowa and Wufei, stating that I just wasn't up to it, which wasn't far from the truth. My poor friend had never seen me in such emotional turmoil. I went from tearful and upset to being a bit more optimistic and accepting of my life, only to turn around and become depressed all over again.

Heero kept his distance, not phoning or trying to contact us in any way. His actions were noticed by Wufei who called to speak to Quatre about it. Without breaking any confidences, blondie truthfully told him that Heero had shown up unexpectedly and that some of what I'd told Heero about my time on Erith upset him and that he'd stormed out of the house. Quatre urged Wufei to not push Heero, but to be understanding without prying. Wufei reported that Trowa had returned to Spain but that he'd be back in a month's time, hoping for a chance to see me then.

Sally was our only visitor, other than the grocery and various food delivery men. She'd brought the case I'd carried with me from Erith. Unfortunately, a good portion of the vials within it broke during the rough ride through the vortex and fall out of it, leaving me with only several weeks worth of medicine. Sally assured me that she'd find a hormone therapy that would be just as good. I gave myself the injections with the injector and so my pregnancy progressed normally, or at least we hoped it was. The good doctor checked my vitals, kept detailed notes, which she kept at the house, and gave me a weekly pep talk. She brought Wufei with her on her second visit, during which I sat in the corner of the living room sofa with a pillow over my middle while answering his questions. He wrote down a brief outline of our chat in order to give it to Director Une, who wanted to know what was going on and why I hadn't reported in. Quatre had repeatedly informed her that I wasn't up to visitors, and hoped that Wufei's visit and note taking would satisfy the head of the Preventers until my typed account was available for her to read. Wufei left us that day expressing his relief at my return and with my word that I was feeling better. It didn't dawn on me until later that during our conversation he hadn't brought up Heero's name. I wondered how much Heero had told him.

Quatre worked both at home and at the local Winner Inc. offices downtown. I spent most of my days typing on the computer, taking an occasional break to email my distant friends and to play a game or two on the computer. A month passed by surprisingly fast and my stomach grew just as quickly, almost doubling in size. With a nice half ball sticking out where my abdomen had once been flat, I had begun to waddle slightly as I made my way around the house and feeling somewhat accomplished that I was only falling apart emotionally every other day.

Quatre spent an hour in the evenings proofreading what I'd written that day. After reading the part regarding my visit to the Corrective Center, he immediately sought me out in my room and with comically wide eyes looked me over. With my permission, he ran his hands over my smooth jaw and took in my completely unscarred and unblemished skin with an expression of awe on his face. Knowing his talent for observation, I was surprised that he hadn't noticed the changes before then. I guess my being and looking pregnant kind of took his mind off of the other changes in my appearance. The look on his face was priceless when I pulled up my sleeves and pant legs to show him my smooth, hairless limbs. It was the first good laugh that I'd had since Heero had stormed out the front door after his surprise visit.

"If only you knew how they did that, you'd be rich, Duo," my friend said as his hand felt my smooth arm, looking for any trace of hair at all. I told him there were countless things that I saw and experienced on Erith that could make me not only rich if I could invent them, but I'd no doubt be considered genius of the century. The rest of the evening was spent with me telling him of the many conveniences the Erithians had that we didn't.

Trowa called a little over a month after Wufei's visit to request a time convenient for us that he could drop by. Quatre and I were faced with a slight problem. At a little over four and a half months pregnant with twins and with only two and a half more to go, my stomach was more than a little noticeable. There was no way I could pass it off as being a little overweight. We decided to try and hide my condition like I had when Wufei visited. I just hoped I wouldn't have to get up and move while Trowa was in the room.

Seven thirty that evening brought the ring of the doorbell. Quatre, who had been agitated since his former lover's call, answered it formally, politely inviting Trowa into the home that used to be his. It was obviously an awkward moment for the both of them, one that I couldn't help but observe from my place in the living room. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about facing the man who not only had some mysterious secret he shared with Heero alone, but was the spitting image of Tradell, whom I'd come to know quite intimately.

"How have you been, Trowa?" Quatre asked. "How's Spain?"

"Well enough on both counts," the auburn haired man replied with a slight smile. "How are you?"

"I'm all right," the nervous blond answered. Then the two former lover's locked eyes, and even from a distance I could see the naked yearning they had for each other. After several long moments, I cleared my throat, which seemed to catch Quatre's attention.

"Um... let me take your jacket," Quatre said while motioning for Trowa to remove his olive green, bomber-style jacket. The taller man complied, and held his jacket out to Quatre who took and laid it on the back of a nearby chair. He then led Trowa to the living room and me, wedged in the left corner of the living room sofa, clutching a large pillow over my stomach along with a blanket that covered my legs. Unfortunately my simple attempt at camouflage gave me the appearance of being sickly.

Trowa walked around the sofa and came to a stop directly in front of me. I looked up to see him smiling at me, his eyes studying my face. From his gentle smile, usually given to Quatre, I could tell that Trowa was truly glad to see me. But looking into his eyes and smile, soft with... affection, it was like looking into Tradell's face all over again. "Hello, Duo. How are you?"

I suddenly felt unsure of myself and knew by the heat on my face that I was blushing. I chalked it up to my momentary reminder of Tradell and worrying about what Trowa's reaction was going to be when he learned about my relationship with his double. "I'm okay," I answered, lowering my eyes. "Have a seat."

He moved towards the wing-back chair closest to me, but even as he went I could feel his gaze lingering on me. "If you're 'okay', then why are you looking like an invalid?"

I shrugged, knowing he was referring to my position on the sofa and the blanket draped over me. "I'm still recovering from the vortex and get chilled quite often." It was a stone's throw from the truth, but the house was drafty because of its large size and I honestly did get chilled at times.

"Does anyone want anything from the kitchen, a drink perhaps?" Quatre offered, still standing at the far end of the sofa.

"A beer would be good," the auburn haired man answered, turning his gaze back to the blond.

"Duo?" Quatre even sounded nervous.

"Something sweet and carbonated," I answered.

Without another word Quatre left me with Trowa for company. Those intense green and discerning eyes turned back to me again. "You've gained some weight," he stated abruptly.

"Yeah, well, Quat's a so-so cook but he sure knows how to do takeout right. I'm afraid he's been pampering me." I couldn't exactly tell him that the hormones Sally prescribed - which she'd determined from testing were as close as she could get to the ones I brought from Erith - seemed to have an adverse side affect of rapid weight gain, mostly in my face.

"But you're well otherwise?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Trowa glanced back at the doorway, probably to make sure Quatre wasn't there. Seeing the coast was clear, he leaned forward in his chair and said, "I've spoken with Heero and he told me about his visit with you."

Nervously, I pulled the pillow closer to my chest and closely studied the fringed edge. "I'm sorry, Tro. There's not much I can say in my defense."

"Have you ever harbored any romantic feeling for me?"

"No!" I answered adamantly, looking up again. "To me you've always been Quatre's, even when I ..." I stopped cold, not feeling comfortable enough to speak to him about Tradell. "What happened between you guys?" I asked. "You and Quatre seemed to love each other so much, but then you started sneaking out. If it wasn't an affair with Heero, then what was it that was so important that you'd risk your relationship with Quatre over it? You can't blame him for having been suspicious. His suspicions were all he had to go on since you wouldn't talk to him."

A look of remorse flashed in the green eyes of handsome man sitting across from me. "I'm sorry, Duo. I had a ...a problem to deal with, a serious one, and I asked Heero for his help." I watched as Trowa nervously combed his fingers through his hair. It was obviously difficult for him to speak about his "problem", but evidently he was trying to do the right thing. I waited patiently while he gathered his nerve before continuing, which he did a few moments later. "I was embarrassed and humiliated confessing my problem to him, and I only did so after swearing him to secrecy. That's the only reason he didn't say anything to you, Duo, and why he tried to cover his tracks. I had no idea you and Quatre would suspect us of having an affair. Hindsight is 20/20 though, isn't it?

"Why didn't you tell Quatre?"

Trowa took in a deep breath before answering. "As I said, I was embarrassed and I didn't want him to be ashamed of me. Then after he began to demand that I tell him where I was going and what I was doing, I got angry. He clearly didn't trust or have faith in me."

"Will you tell me now?" a quiet voice asked from behind me. Trowa and I both turned to see Quatre standing in the doorway to the living room, carrying a tray bearing three tall glasses filled with ice and a couple of cans. His eyes implored his former lover to give him the answers to the questions that had plagued him for the past half year.

Trowa hung his head as Quatre came forward and set the tray on the table. The blond moved stiffly as he poured my soda into the tall glass before handing it to me. He did the same with the can of beer, but let the foam settle before he held the glass out to Trowa. Their fingers touched at the handoff and the two former lovers paused, their eyes locking on each other. "All right," Trowa whispered. Unable to look away from the blond, Trowa watched Quatre sit next to my feet on the sofa. Before sitting back, he calmly poured himself his favorite grapefruit soda and took a long drink while he waited for Trowa to begin.

After fortifying himself with a couple of large swallows of beer, Trowa set his glass down. "You remember the injuries I sustained last year when I fell off the trapeze?"

"How could I forget," Quatre answered quietly, his eyes looking haunted by the memory. It was a day none of us would forget and it had begun with a phone call from Cathy, crying hysterically over the phone from a hospital in Amsterdam. It took a while to understand her, but Quatre figured out that his lover had fallen during his trapeze act and had been rushed to the hospital. He'd called the rest of us and we all flew to Amsterdam with him, not knowing if Trowa was dead or alive.

"The injuries to my leg and back and subsequent surgeries required me to be on very strong pain medication for quite a while. The therapy seemed too slow, as was my recovery. I was hurting and frustrated by my lack of progress and started to take the pills more frequently than prescribed to help speed up my therapy." With his eyes lowered, Trowa continued to confess what I was just beginning to suspect. "I became addicted to them. The doctor became suspicious after I returned to his office for a refill sooner than I should have. He wrote me a prescription for ten tablets that time, but then cut me off when I went back for more. Instead of a prescription, he gave me a referral to a counseling service for addicts. I was insulted by his accusation, insisting that I wasn't addicted." Trowa's voice lowered until it was barely a whisper. "I was in denial and ignored his advice. But the day after I ran out of the pills, I felt horrible, the pain in my back was still there and not only did I feel wretched, but I also had the shakes. With every hour the withdrawal symptoms got worse. I could hardly function, and the agony of withdrawal by far exceeded that of my injuries. I felt I had no choice but to buy drugs off the street until I could think of a way to get off of them completely."

Looking up with anguished eyes, he met Quatre's unwavering gaze and silently plead for understanding and forgiveness. "I'm sorry, Quatre. I tried to hide it from you, knowing you'd be disappointed in me. I was ashamed of myself, for my lack of control. I didn't want you to despise me for what I'd become." He lowered his head into his upraised hands, looking miserable. "It wasn't until a drug dealer propositioned me, offering me drugs in exchange for having sex with him, that I realized I was in big trouble, that I needed help. I called Heero and asked for both his help and silence, knowing he'd give me both. He took me to a day re-hab clinic and attended meetings for recovering addicts with me on Tuesday and Thursday nights."

I gasped, knowing I had thought the worst of my lover and that it had been completely unfounded. He was merely being a good friend to Trowa and I had accused him of cheating. No wonder he'd turned his back on me, especially after I'd accused him of the very same thing I was guilty of. I felt ill, sick to my stomach and at heart.

"I'm sorry, Duo." Trowa turned his attention to me. "I've talked briefly to Heero and he told me of your suspicions. It was all my fault. I made Heero swear not to tell a soul because I didn't want Quatre to find out just how low I'd sunk and how unworthy of him I'd become."

I turned my eyes to Quatre to see how he was taking this. His blue eyes reflected his own hurt and sorrow after listening to his former lover's confession. "Did you really think so little of me, Trowa?" he asked, his voice quivering slightly as he fought to stay composed. "Or is it that you just didn't trust me?"

Trowa blinked, obviously surprised by Quatre's reaction. "You're everything to me, Quatre. I just didn't want you to despise me as much as I despised myself for what I'd become. Dammit, Love, I was a drug addict!"

"And is that any worse than letting me believe that you were having an affair with Heero?" The blond's pent-up frustration and anger, held in check for all the months I'd been gone, suddenly rose to the surface, his voice rising to match it.

"I didn't know that's what you were thinking until the day I left, and then I was too shocked to answer."

I suddenly didn't want to be in the room anymore. This was way too personal, but I wasn't able to get up and leave. If I did, then Trowa would undoubtedly see my stomach and then more questions would have to be answered. I was stuck.

Trowa continued. "I just couldn't bring myself to tell you of my addiction. And after hurling your accusations at me, my silence seemed to be the lesser lie. I didn't know what else to do, so I left. I don't know," he said, both looking and sounding anguished while repeatedly running his long fingers through his reddish-brown hair. "All I can say is that I didn't know how to handle my continuing recovery, your accusations, Duo's strange disappearance, Heero's theories about him being switched in the vortex with the person in his apartment who looked just like Duo and then his obsession with getting Duo back. Leaving seemed like the best way to deal with the entire situation."

"And that solved everything, didn't it?" Quatre snapped, anger sparking from his pale blue eyes. "Things were all rosy and fine because you ran away to the circus!" It was hard to tell by his twisted facial expression if Quatre was about to physically attack his former lover or burst into tears.

Trowa seemed to deflate in on himself as Quatre's justified anger rose. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Of course it didn't solve anything, but I just wasn't capable of handling all of that plus resisting the physical pull of my body for the drugs I was trying so hard to stay away from. The short time I stayed with Heero was stressful enough to help me make the decision to return to the circus. He was beside himself dealing with Duo's manic double, whose strange and totally inept behavior proved to me that Heero's theory was plausible. He might have looked like you, Duo, but his actions were completely opposite yours. How he ever managed two lovers in his own world is beyond me," he added.

"He was scared," I interjected, feeling someone should day a word in defense for my counterpart. "No doubt he reacted the only way he knew how." Both pairs of eyes turned to me and the war between the two former lovers seemed to take a momentary truce. "Duwan was raised in a sheltered environment and for one purpose in life, to be Chosen. A Chosen has one responsibility, everything else is done for him and he's taken care of to the extent that he's bathed, fed, and led around by the hand by a caretaker. I can only imagine his confusion after being dropped into my life where he was expected to be independent, strong and self-sufficient. No doubt he was scared to death by everything being unfamiliar and reacted badly to everyone looking like people he knew and yet were strange to him."

"Did you adjust to living Duwan's world, Duo?" Trowa asked, curiosity written on his face. I could only imagine he was grateful for the brief respite from the argument he and Quatre had been having moments before.

I shrugged and with a weary sigh answered, "Let's just say that I got wise to it very quickly, though I really didn't understand much. I found myself having to play a certain roll in their society, which didn't make much sense to me even after I'd been there for awhile. But somehow, with its castes, collars, elixirs and corrections centers, Erith's ways worked. What I experienced there, the good and the bad, will stay with me for the rest of my life."

Trowa looked from me to Quatre, both sharing a worried glance when he asked, "Will you tell me about your life there and what happened to you, Duo?"

I looked down at the pillow being mangled in my grasp as I answered. "I'm writing it all down, Tro. When I'm done, I'll give you guys a somewhat edited version. I wasn't mistreated or anything, except the one time I was punished with the collar, but I missed home and you guys. Even though I met your counterparts, they still weren't you, just substitutes. I honestly didn't believe I'd ever get back here," I told him, then shrugged. "For a short while I held onto the faint thread of hope that if Heero did care for me, and if he put his mind to it, he might find a way to bring me back. But as time went on, that idea seemed unreasonable."

I had to stop speaking for a moment because of the huge lump of regret forming in my throat. I thought for a moment about Erith, Mueller, Herron and Tradell and of the peaceful, protected life I'd had there and how I'd gotten so totally sucked into Duwan's life, betraying Heero. The end result of that betrayal was losing the person who was my everything. Yet no matter what my regrets were, if I had to do it all over again, I honestly don't know how I could have done anything differently. Suddenly, I wanted more than anything to get up and go to my room, to grieve again for my losses in private, but I couldn't. My only option at the moment was to bury my face in my hands and firmly tell myself to get a grip. I definitely didn't want to break down in front of the other two men watching me.

Surprisingly, it wasn't Quatre who sought to comfort me, but Trowa. His arm encircled my shoulders as he knelt at my side. His voice was soft and soothing in my ear as he spoke to me. "Just give him time, Duo. You know more than anyone that Heero doesn't always show his feeling and talks even less about them, but he's devoted to you. He always has been. I think he just needs some time in order to come to terms with what's happened. I'll talk to him, all right? Try to make him see that you were just doing your best to survive."

Leaning into the comfort of Trowa's half embrace, I whispered back to my friend, "Thanks, Tro, but I think it's hopeless. I suspected him of cheating on me, and then it turns out I'm the cheater."

"Don't give up just yet," Trowa advised. "If Quatre and I put our heads together, I'm sure we'll come up with something."

I looked up with what I'm sure was a pitiful expression. "I'll feel better if you two would talk to each other and work things out. Don't drift too far apart and do something that might make it impossible for you to be together again." I was, of course, speaking from personal experience.

Trowa looked over to Quatre, a question in his eyes. Quatre returned his gaze and answered, "We can talk. I can't promise anything, but I really don't want this to be the end of us, Trowa. I... I do love you, but I need to trust you. I want you to promise me that there won't be any more secrets, no more deceptions between us. If you have a problem, we should work on it together. At least give me the chance to be supportive."

For his part, Trowa gave a solemn nod. "No more deceptions," he agreed.

Once again I felt like I was intruding on a private moment. Unfortunately, I still couldn't leave the room. "Um, Quat?" Though hesitant, I interrupted the staring fest going on between the other two and waited until both men turned their eyes to me. "Could you and Trowa get me some ice cream? I'm craving it all of a sudden."

"Ah... sure," my friend answered, looking confused by my sudden request at such a moment. "What kind would you like?"

"Any kind will do, just put some chocolate fudge sauce on it. Could you bring it to my room? I think I'm going to lie down. You don't mind, do you, Trowa?"

To his credit, the taller man looked torn. "I did want to visit with you, Duo, and learn more about your experiences. But I can come another time when you're more up to it. Do you need help getting to your room?" The look of concern on his face wasn't what I had been going for.

"No, I just have a bit of a headache, kind of a residual affect from the concussion. I'm fine, really, and you know what they say about three being a crowd. Why don't you go with Quat and get us some ice cream, then stay and talk for a while."

Trowa still seemed hesitant, so I shifted my attention to Quatre, hoping for help and giving him a knowing look. Getting the idea, my blond friend stood and Trowa followed.

"Well, if you're sure?" Trowa said, still wavering.

"Go," I said, waving them off. They both slowly withdrew from the room with only one look back. As soon as they were gone, I threw the pillow across the sofa, tossed off the blanket and made a hasty retreat up the stairs to my room, shutting the door behind me. By the time Quatre came up with a bowl of fudge ripple ice cream I was sitting in bed, under the covers and dressed in my over-sized pajamas. I reached out and took the full bowl from him.

"Trowa's concerned about your health, Duo. I'm not sure what I should tell him."

"Well, after telling him there would be no more deceptions between the two of you, I guess you'll have to tell him the truth."

"Really?" He looked alarmed.

"Yeah. Just tell him that my travels through the vortex have had some side effects, and that I'm still recovering. It's the truth, so even if you don't tell him I'm pregnant, you won't really be lying." I grabbed my friend's hand and held it as I spoke earnestly to him. "This is your chance, Quatre. Go, talk to him and don't blow it."

"Thanks, Duo," Quatre said as he leaned down to embrace me. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I want a full report," I called out as he walked towards the door. A dazzling smile was sent my way a moment before he disappeared out my bedroom door.

The cold dessert was gone in less than two minutes. I set the bowl down, picked up the laptop, and turned it on. I was ready to type up my encounter with Herron and the passion elixir.

Tbc


	23. Chapter 23 home Again

**Through The Vortex  
****Chapter 23  
****Home Again, Home Again, Giggity Jog.**

Two weeks after Trowa's initial visit, Quatre sought me out in my bedroom after arriving home from the office. He knocked on my bedroom door and entered at the sound of my grunt. Sitting cross legged on the bed, I turned down the volume on the TV and glanced up with a smile from the game I'd been playing on the laptop. "Hey, Quat. How was work?"

"Fine," he answered, moving into the room. "Do you have a minute to talk?"

I turned off my computer and gave my friend my full attention as he sat on the edge of my bed. "Sure, what's up?"

A nervous smile grew on the blond's face. "Trowa wants to come home, and I want him back, Duo."

I almost burst with happiness for them, and my smile must have shown how I felt because I could feel facial muscles stretching that hadn't used in a while. "That's great! Really, I knew you guys could work it out."

"Yes, you did." Quatre's smile matched mine. "Thank you for your support, Duo. It means so much to me."

"Ah... it was nothing." I dismissed my part in their getting back together. Sure, I'd pushed and prodded during those few times that Quatre seemed reluctant to forgive Trowa as well as himself for the gross misunderstanding that had caused their breakup, but they were the ones to actually do all the work at patching things up.

"Yes, it was something," my friend insisted. "But now we have another problem."

I sighed, knowing what was coming. "Me," I said. "It's no problem, Quat. If you'll just help me find an apartment, I'll..."

"No!" Quatre said firmly. "You're not going anywhere. What can you possibly be thinking to suggest something like that?"

I reached behind me to rub the ache in the lower part of my back, and awkwardly twisted in order to reach it properly while still looking at my friend. "Well, I'm kind of in the way for a second honeymoon, don't ya think?"

"Duo." There was a hint of a reprimand in Quatre's tone. "I want you here where I can help you. I insist... No, I demand that you get any idea of leaving here out of your twisted little mind. Do you understand?"

"Okay, okay," I laughed, letting some of the tension in my shoulders ease. "So what's the problem then?"

"I want to tell Trowa about your condition."

"No way," I snapped back. "Trowa and Heero are thick as thieves. He'll tell him."

"I trust him not to, Duo. You can get your own promise from him before we tell him, but he wants to move back this weekend and we can't hide your condition from him if he's living here in the house with us."

Both mine and Quatre's eyes looked down at my bulging belly and I soothed my hands over it. "They're really active tonight," I said quietly, thinking things over while feeling comforted by the movement within me. "Wanna feel?"

"Yes," Quatre answered quickly. He moved closer so he could place his two hands on my taunt abdomen after I removed my hands to give him room. After a moment, Quatre's eyes widened while feeling a rolling movement. With eyes filled with wonder he looked up at me. "Does it hurt?"

"No. It can be uncomfortable, especially if one of them gets under a rib or pushes on my bladder. But it's sort of cool, Quat, to feel life growing within me."

"Would you believe me if I told you that I think I envy you, Duo? I don't know if I could ever do what you're doing, but I'm in awe of it." The two of us shared a smile as my friend's hands continued to rest on my distended belly for several more moments before he pulled back.

I felt torn, not knowing what to do about the upcoming predicament. "I don't want to blow your chance at getting back with Trowa, Quat. But do you really think he'll keep this from Heero?"

"Maybe you should tell Heero yourself," he suggested.

"No!" I shook my head, then paused to collect myself before sadly adding, "He made it pretty damn clear that he's done with me, and I really can't blame him. It's probably better this way." I wondered how many times I'd said that, out loud and to myself. I think I was trying to convince myself. "If you can get Trowa to swear he'll not tell anyone, especially Heero, you can give him what I've written so far. It explains everything, at least all that I know about the AU."

"Thank you, Duo." Quatre reached over and hugged me. "You won't regret this."

I patted him on the back then turned to my bedside table and picked up a folder I had sitting on top. Out of it I pulled one of the stapled, hundred and five pages that detailed every moment of my time in Erith. Quatre accepted the copy with all due respect.

"You can read it first, if you like, then have Trowa give you his word he won't speak of it to anyone before you give it to him," I told him. With Trowa back in his life, he hadn't been able to do his regular proof-reading. I was feeling a bit anxious about what Trowa was going to think about everything that had happened to me after reading my transcript. I'd also realized that I was asking Trowa to do the same thing for me that he had asked of Heero: to keep a secret. It didn't sit very well with me, but I didn't see any other choice. "Tell me what he thinks about all of this, all right?"

Quatre gave me an amused smile. "Before or after he passes out when he finds out you're pregnant with twins."

"After, of course," I answered, and we both enjoyed a good laugh - thinking about Trowa's reaction - before it was time for us to think about what to have for dinner.

Friday night came and so did Trowa. Later that evening, as Quatre saw Trowa to the door, he gave him the transcript after he'd agreed to keep the contents of what was written a secret, even from his closest friends. Trowa carried it back to his hotel room to read. Saturday morning came with no word from him, and the day seemed to drag intolerably on until that evening. Quatre didn't say anything but I could tell he was worried that Trowa hadn't called.

I withdrew into myself, brooding. I had an overpowering sense that, once again, I was going to be rejected by someone I cared about. Added to that, I thought that I might have messed up my friends' chance for happiness. I had second thoughts about having given Trowa my transcript and most of the details of my life on Erith. The last thing I wanted was for any of my friends to think of me as a freak, and by his continued silence, that's exactly what I was coming to believe Trowa was thinking about me after he read not only about my pregnancy, but about the Corrective Center as well as my affairs with Herron and Tradell. His prolonged delay in responding to my story brought out my worst fears.

Sunday morning, just after eight a.m., the doorbell rang. Quatre was up and working on breakfast so he answered it and was pleased, if not surprised, to see Trowa standing there. I got out of bed at the sound of the bell and walked to the top of the staircase to see the tall, lean man standing just outside the front door with three large suitcases surrounding his feet with the transcript of my life on Erith clutched tightly in his hand. "Is it true or just one of Duo's hoaxes?" he asked.

"It's true," Quatre answered. "Come in and we'll talk." Stepping back, he gave Trowa enough room to bring in his luggage and set them down in the foyer. "Duo's still asleep," the blond added, keeping his voice low. "Let's go into the kitchen so we can talk without disturbing him."

I returned to my bedroom and dressed as quickly as I could manage. I didn't doubt that Trowa would have some questions and that I should probably be the one to answer them. I took the time to brush out my hair, and paused for a moment and that simple task caused me to once again miss Mueller. He'd always taken such pleasure in brushing my hair until it was tangle free and shining. For some odd reason, remembering him and my time on Erith left me wanting to leave my hair free of its braid. I'd worn it loose it often enough on Erith that if felt more natural to wear it that way than it had ever been before. Creeping down the stairs in my sweat pants, long-sleeve t-shirt and socks, I made no sound as I approached the kitchen. I heard the whistle of the tea kettle and paused when I heard Quatre's speaking.

"Everything you read there is true, Trowa. Duo's edited some of the more private parts, but you get the gist that he was involved with Duwan's two lovers, more out of necessity and loneliness than anything else."

"And he's really pregnant?" Trowa asked, incredulous.

"Yes."

"Twins?"

Quatre chuckled. "Welcome home." From where I stood, the sounds coming from the kitchen that let me know the other two men were kissing, and it brought a smile to my face.

"I missed you so much." Trowa's whisper was easily carried out of the kitchen and to the place where I was standing.

"And I missed you. I know I've said it before, but I'm sorry," Quatre answered.

"No more apologies," Trowa said, and some more kissing sounds ensued. "We agreed to start over, a fresh slate, right?"

"Um hum," Quatre hummed. "I'm just glad you're back."

I was feeling like a voyeur even though I wasn't even looking at the two love birds, so I decided it was time to make my appearance. "So is this what I can expect every time I walk into a room occupied by you two?" I asked in an amused tone. The two men kissing ceased immediately and turned to face me. Trowa's jaw promptly dropped and his green eyes looked like they were going to pop right out of his head as they focused on my protruding belly. "Holy shit!" he whispered. Even though he'd learned from the transcript of my condition, I suspected that some part of his rational brain didn't truly comprehend the truth of my words. Seeing, in my case, was truly believing.

I could feel my face flush under his unrelenting gaze and put a protective hand over my belly. "Um... welcome home, Trowa," I said, suddenly feeling unsure of myself under his wide-eyed stare.

Quatre, standing at Trowa's side, gave his lover a gentle push, and woodenly the taller man moved towards me, his green eyes not moving from my belly. He stopped directly in front of me, and I felt momentarily intimated by his height.

"Can I touch it... or them?" Trowa asked, obviously fascinated by my condition.

"You move pretty fast for a person not properly introduced," I said, not looking up at my tall friend. I was trying to tease him but I came off sounding insecure. I looked around Trowa's body to search out Quatre for his help.

The blond saw my discomfort and nodded as he stepped forward. "Then let's make the introductions," Quatre said, coming to stand by my side. "Trowa, meet Duo's babies, a boy and a girl." He took his lover's calloused hands and placed them on my T-shirt covered belly. "Babies," Quat continued. "Meet your Uncle Trowa. Together we're going to work hard to ensure that you and your dad are well taken care of."

"Yes," Trowa agreed, and I finally looked up to ascertain his expression. The usually unflappable man seeming to be in a daze, maybe even in shock as he let his hands move over the protrusion. Then slowly, his green eyes rose to meet mine. "You're a walking, talking miracle, Duo. You know that, don't you? That you were transported to another world, came to be in the condition you're in now and actually made it back here again can be called nothing else but a miracle. If I didn't trust what I'm seeing and feeling, I'd never have believed it." He gently and awkwardly leaned over and tried to hug me.

I returned the brief embrace, and over Trowa's shoulder I could see Quatre's pleased smile. Stepping back, I felt the need to give credit to the person who deserved it. "Heero's the real miracle worker. He's the one we should give credit to for bringing me back. I'm grateful to him, and that's the one thing you can tell him, Tro, the next time you talk to him."

Trowa stepped back and looked into my face, studying my expression which was bound to show how much I missed my former lover.

"He's asked about you," Trowa said suddenly, probably trying to make me feel better. "He's concerned that you haven't been seen by anyone other than the four of us since you returned. I told him you were well, but not ready to venture out after your experience. I don't know how much longer that excuse will sound plausible."

With a sigh and a shrug of my left shoulder I said, "Don't worry. We just have to put him off until I have these two, then I plan on moving somewhere else, changing my name and all that. Problem solved."

"Duo." Quatre stepped in, clearly unhappy. "Nothing has been decided. You're going to need help with two small newborns."

"The longer I stay the more suspicious everyone will become. How will we explain two infants in your home? If I move, I can make up an excuse, like we discussed already."

"Heero can probably track you down no matter where you go or how you try to hide yourself," Trowa calmly stated.

"Then we'll tell him I've fallen in love with someone else. I'm pretty sure he'll leave me alone after that."

The room fell silent as each of us thought about my suggestion, knowing it would probably be the only thing that would put Heero off, that is if he ever decided to check up on me. But at what price? Heero would most likely be hurt, even though we weren't together anymore. We had a past where promises had been whispered in the dark about forever, and those pillow-talk promises remained with me, haunting me nightly. Looking up at the other two men, it was clear from the expression on their faces that they didn't like my idea. Hell, I didn't really like it either, but I knew it would probably work.

"Listen," I began. "I don't think we'll have to worry about that. Heero's pissed off enough at me that he hasn't attempted to contact me since the night I told him about Herron and Tradell."

"Don't you think honesty would be better?" Trowa asked, frowning. "Whatever happened to your motto of never telling a lie?"

Walking slowly to the table and pulling out a chair, I eased myself down, pulling my loose hair over my shoulder before looking up to my two friends and sadly admitted, "Everyone lies, whether out right or by omission. Why should I be any different?" Silence filled the kitchen for a moment. Each of us reflecting on our own past omissions and the speculation that come from them that had affected our relationships.

The room suddenly felt oppressive, the air heavy with guilt. "This is all my fault," Trowa confessed. "If I'd been up front with Quatre about my addiction, you and Heero wouldn't have become involved in my secret, making the both of you suspect us of infidelity. I'm sorry, Duo. What can I do to make it up to you?"

Quatre slipped his hand into Trowa's, giving it a squeeze to show his support and appreciation for wanting to right a wrong we were all probably responsible for.

I shook my head. "I was the one who was unfaithful, but that's all water under the bridge now. I've got to focus on the future now, to provide a home for my kids. If you'll just help me with that, I'll be forever grateful."

"Of course we'll help, Duo," Quatre assured me, his expression one of sincerity. "How about we start by feeding you? What do you feel like eating this morning?"

And so the week began with Trowa settling comfortably into his former home, bedroom and life once again. He'd contacted the Preventers before coming into town and was reinstated into the local office and his old position without a blink. He was scheduled to start work one week following his return home.

Sally Chang came by the next weekend. Since she worked during the week, she felt it more inconspicuous if she dropped by each Sunday while Wufei took the baby in her stroller for his weekly run through the park. Neither he nor anyone at Preventers was the wiser for her professional visits, so my secret was kept intact.

When she came, she brought with her a two week dose of the female hormones that she felt came as close as possible to the medication I'd been given on Erith. I'd run out of what I'd had in the case the previous day. She'd inquired about the injector, which I told her was a painless syringe. Excitement lit up her eyes a moment before she asked me if I thought I could figure out how it worked. If I could do that, we could patent it, and she convinced me that we would make enough money to keep me comfortable for the rest of my life. Her excitement was contagious. If I could duplicate the injector, I would be able to stay home with my kids and raise them myself. It was enough of an incentive that I couldn't resist giving it a go. Besides, it gave me something to do with my spare time, especially since I'd finished writing my account of Erith, Trowa returned to work at the Preventers and Quatre continued to work for his family's corporation. I now had something new to occupy my hands and mind while I waited for my kids to be born.

TBC


	24. Chapter 24 Heero

**Through the Vortex  
****Chapter 24  
****Heero**

Having Trowa back meant there were adjustments to be made. He was a great help when it came to fixing meals and cleaning the place up, and having a an extra person when playing a board game made things a bit more interesting. However, I couldn't help feeling like a third wheel most of the time, so I made it a regular practice to make myself scarce early in the evening, using the plausible excuse that I was tired. I knew that if I were in their shoes, I'd want some alone time with my lover. Of course there were always the polite protests from the other two, but I dismissed them and waddled my way up the stairs to my room, bed, T.V. and popcorn.

Unfortunately, with long days and evenings spent alone - especially knowing what was going on in another part of the house - I couldn't help but be reminded of how lonely I was. It was during those solitary evening hours that I missed Heero the most. Even though I didn't know how I could ever love another person like I loved him, I promised myself that one day I would try to find someone I could share my life with... perhaps in a couple of years. Once the babies were born, or a couple of months after, I was determined to move away from all that was familiar and the constant reminders of my life with my dark-haired, blue-eyed lover. I kept telling myself it was the wise thing to do, but I couldn't shake the sad feeling that accompanied my plan. For my friends' benefit, I tried to hide my growing despondency and to keep a stiff upper lip when I was with them, but several times a week I gave into my weaker emotional state and cried myself to sleep, with my face turned into my pillow in the dark where no one would be the wiser. I scolded myself for being so pathetic each and every morning after one of those rough nights, but I knew there was little I could do to prevent them.

At twenty-two weeks, Sally proclaimed the twins were progressing well. I had approximately six weeks to go, that is if I correctly remembered the information I'd been given about the gestation time within the A.U. and if it applied to twins. I was getting ridiculously big, and my mis-proportioned belly often unbalanced my small frame. The good doctor insisted that I have help going up and down the stairs, which I thought was ridiculous. Sally didn't listen to my objections and I was more or less forced into promising her, Quatre and Trowa that I wouldn't venture up or down the staircase without assistance. She also expressed concern about the slight rise of my blood pressure and suspected that I had the beginnings of toxemia. She advised me to stay off my feet as much as possible and left me a pamphlet to read about the condition. Frankly, after reading the small, informative booklet, I found myself scared shitless, learning that I could have a condition that might prove dangerous to me and my children. The only treatment for toxemia was bed rest and a mild medication to lower blood pressure. The only cure for it was delivering the babies. If my condition worsened, Sally suggested Quatre might look into working exclusively from home, to make sure I stayed in bed.

Staying in bed depressed the hell out of me. Sure, I watched T.V., listened to music, re-wrote parts of my story and edited it over and over. After that, I began to dismantle the injector, taking careful notes of the parts I removed, making detailed sketches of what they looked like and exactly where they fit. Then I made a guess as to what kind of material on Earth, natural or manmade, could be substituted for the Erithian metal used to construct the medical device.

After two weeks of relative confinement, Sally confirmed that the continued swelling of my ankles and hands indicated that I did indeed have toxemia. Depression coupled with fear and anxiety affected my mood swings dramatically. I know I made it hard for the other guys to live with me, but to their credit they showed me nothing but patience and compassion.

At twenty five weeks, Sally took up the subject of my despondency. She finished my check up and admonished me once again to stay in bed as much as possible. Quatre said he'd be working from home for the rest of the pregnancy with only an occasional meeting at the office.

"I hate messing up his life," I sulked to Sally after Quatre left the room.

"I seriously don't think he believes you are," she replied calmly while putting the tools of her trade into her medical bag.

Looking around my enormous belly and down at my slightly misshapen ankles and feet, I felt my depression deepen.

"How are you, emotionally, Duo? Still feeling depressed?"

"It comes and goes."

"It's important that you try not to get too caught up in negative feelings. I'm not an obstetrician, but I am a mother and I firmly believe that the children in your womb can sense something of what their parent is feeling. It's important to be as hopeful and positive as you can."

"I can't help it, Sally. I'm trying to be upbeat, but sometimes things just get me down."

"No word from Heero?"

I don't know if it was her women's intuition or if she'd been talking to Quatre, but she sure hit the nail on the head with that one. I shook my head in answer, my eyes riveted on my puffy hands resting on my round belly. I felt a reassuring hand touch my shoulder.

"He's been asking about you," she told me, and I looked up to see that she was concerned about telling me that piece of news, probably not knowing if it was good or bad news. "He came by my office to ask if I knew anything about your health, mental or physical. He's concerned because he hasn't had word from anyone that you've left the house since your return."

"Is he spying on me?" I knew that if Heero really wanted information, he had the talent and means to get it.

"I don't think so," she replied after contemplating a moment. "But you know how he picks up on things, and there's been a lot of speculation at headquarters as to where you've been since your miraculous return after several months of being on the Missing In Action List."

I put the palms of my hands against my eyes. I was so tired of worrying about how things were going to work out. I just wished I could wake up one morning and everything would be back to normal; but then that would be wishing away the lives of two innocent children that I already loved. No matter how upset I was or the problems I faced, I couldn't bring myself to do that.

"Hang in there," Sally said softly, her voice filled with sympathy. "In three or four weeks we'll go to the hospital for delivery and then you'll be too busy juggling two babies to worry about everything. Being stuck in bed gives you too much time to think and to dwell on things we have little control over. It'll be over soon."

"I hope so," I whispered.

"Have you picked any names yet?" Nice way to change the subject.

"I've got a couple picked out, but I haven't made a final decision yet."

"Feel like some lunch?"

I shook my head. "Not hungry."

"You need to eat, Duo. Even though your stomach looks large, you've only gained twenty-nine pounds. That might be normal for a single pregnancy, but not for twins. You've gotten thinner, if that's possible. Please, try to eat regular meals or five small ones, if that's all you can manage."

"I'll try," I sighed. Having my stomach compressed by the growing A.U. had taken away my normal appetite and eating had recently become a chore, especially with Quatre and Trowa acutely aware of what did and didn't go into my mouth.

"Good!" The doctor smiled, pleased with my agreement. "I'll just speak to Quatre and Trowa before I leave." She shut and fastened her medical satchel and paused. "If you should begin to feel ill or faint, call me. From your description of Tradell's experience, it sounded like there was some sort of internal signal given to the A.U.'s host that the time to deliver had come. I don't believe you'll go into actual labor, so you need to be alert for whatever sign you're given. Be aware of what's going on in your body and call me if you have any concerns, all right?"

"I'll call if something happens," I told her.

"Very good. I'll see you next week. Remember, stay in bed as much as possible."

I watched her leave the room and closed my eyes, dreading the long drawn-out hours ahead of me. I was pretty damn sure I was going to start losing my mind any minute.

For the next week I dutifully stayed in bed, scared by the memory of Sally's growing frown when she took my vitals and measured my swollen extremities. She'd left a new prescription for Quatre to pick up for me, a different low-dose, high blood pressure medication, hoping that would help with the toxemia. I thought, somewhat sourly, that if I were still on Erith, some magical potion, tasting sweet and fruity, would have been given to me and the problem would have been taken care of instantly. But I wasn't on Erith anymore, I was back on Earth, and I was pretty damn miserable. Eventually my worry and boredom ate away at me and drove me from my bed and out of my room.

Quatre had gone to the office for a meeting that morning and he'd stated his intention of going to the store to pick up disposable diapers, baby wipes, bottles, formula and several other things on the list Sally had given him to start purchasing in preparation for the twins' arrival. While he was out, I had the whole house to myself. I knew full well that I was disobeying orders when I went downstairs, but I took every precaution, holding onto the handrail as I descended the stairs in my bathrobe and slippers, carefully taking one step at a time.

I went to the front closet and retrieved the small box that had been put there a week ago - well, Quatre had actually confiscated it when he found me working on the injector at three in the morning. After a good scolding, he took it away - for my own good, he said. Inside the box was the dissected injector, plus the notes and diagrams I'd drawn. I took it into the kitchen, started the tea kettle, then sat down at the table and began to take out the contents of the box.

Each piece I'd removed from the injector had been tagged and labeled, and a detailed drawing had been done on its exact position within the small foreign tool. I only had one more part to dismantle, label, weigh and draw, before I planned on contacting Howard to see if he'd help me recreate a prototype of the medical instrument. If anyone could do it, I knew that Howard was the man to do so.

I paused in my work to contemplate my older friend for a moment. Howard had been ecstatic when I emailed him that I was alive and well. He demanded I come see him on his ship in the South Pacific, but I told him I wasn't in any condition to do so. I certainly didn't tell him of my true condition, but the old man accepted my excuse and kept up a steady correspondence with me. I missed him, but consoled myself by knowing that things were good between us.

The lighting in the kitchen was the best in the house and the most suited for working on the project that was going to secure the future for me and my kids. I bent over my task for about a half hour before I heard a soft knock at the back door, just behind me. Looking over my shoulder I was shocked to see Heero peering through the window pane in the center of the door. There was a worried expression on his incredibly handsome face.

"Oh shit," I whispered, wondering what the hell I was going to do now. I tugged my robe closed. There was no way I was going to be able to hide my condition if I let him in because I was as big as a barn. I remembered Trowa saying that in viewing me from behind he couldn't see any difference in my shape, and that gave me an idea. Standing abruptly, I kept my back to Heero and more or less waddled as quickly as I could out of the kitchen, away from the window and Heero's prying eyes.

"Duo!" Heero shouted at me from outside the door as I made my not-so-hasty retreat. I could only hope my former lover wouldn't try to follow me. That hope dissolved when a loud bang and the sound of cracking wood signaled that Heero was not happy that I'd ignored him. I quickened my pace, going as fast as I possibly could, knowing that I was never going to make it to the staircase, much less to the safety of my room, before he caught up to me. I held onto my belly while I walked like a penguin towards Quatre's study, knowing it had a thick door and a good lock on it that might be my only salvation. But of course luck was against me... again. I heard footsteps rapidly approaching me from behind and then a vice-like grip on my upper arm forestalled any more progress towards the desired room with the lock.

"Duo, wait," Heero commanded in a voice that sounded both exasperated and worried. "Why did you run? What's the matter?" he asked, still behind me and unaware of my condition.

I was careful to keep my back to him as I answered. "Please, Heero. Just go away and leave me alone." Damn, my voice cracked, my eyes watered and my heart began rebelling against my request.

"Duo." There was a pleading quality to Heero's deep voice, one that hit me straight in the heart. I didn't have any defenses to fight against it. "What's going on? Are you ill? Tell me."

Fighting to control my emotions and the situation, I lowered my head. "We're not together any more, Heero. I'm no longer your concern." Suddenly, two arms wrapped around my chest and Heero's body was firmly pressed up against my back.

"But I am concerned," he whispered against the back of my ear. "You're my only concern, Duo. I've tried to get over you, to get past what's happened, but it's impossible to get you out of my head. I don't know what to do, but I can't let you go. Help me to get over this. Help me to understand why you did what you did."

Bringing my own hands up to hold Heero's in place, mainly to keep them from slipping lower to my distended belly, I silently relished the feel of Heero holding me once again. I'd missed this so much, the strength of his arms and the great sense of security they'd always brought. This was the tender side of the stoic Japanese man that I alone had been privileged to see. A sudden, swift kick from inside my belly brought me back to reality and the reason why I couldn't give in to either Heero's nor my own desperate need to remain like we were.

"I'm sorry, Heero. For everything. But it's too late." I pried his hands off my chest and stepped out of his embrace only to be grabbed once more and held tighter.

"Don't say that, Duo. It's not too late. If you'll just..." Whatever else Heero was going to say was abruptly stopped short when one of his hands slipped lower to try and encircle my waist. "What the..?" And then he was in front of me, his eyes growing impossibly wide as he took in the sight of my enormous stomach covered only by my robe and an extra-large tank top. Slowly his blue eyes rose to meet my own, a stricken look in them.

"A tumor?" he guessed. "Is this why it's too late, because you're dying?"

Before thinking that maybe faking my death could be the solution to my current predicament and to true freedom, I rushed ahead with an answer meant to comfort him. "No... no, Heero. I'm not dying and it's not a tumor."

Heero mouth formed a frown and his eyebrows drew down as he tried to come up with an answer of his own. "It's not simple weight gain because it's not evenly distributed," he mumbled under his breath, obviously puzzled.

I sighed and suddenly felt very tired and a bit light headed. I needed to lie down. I side stepped him to put my hand on a table next to the wall and leaned heavily on it. "This is why I've kept myself hidden, Heero. I don't want anyone to know about my condition."

"Did this happen while you were in Erith?"

I nodded my head, biting my lip to keep it from trembling. I couldn't believe how shaky I was at having Heero so close.

"Does Quatre know?" he asked, looking unhappy.

"Of course."

"Trowa?"

I nodded again.

"Wufei?"

"No, he doesn't know. Sally is the only other person who knows what's going on."

Firm but gentle hands turned me and once again I was faced with the handsome man who had been my lover. "What is it and why didn't you tell me?" I'd have to have been blind not to see the look of hurt on Heero's face.

"When you brought me back, I believed I'd returned to a world where you'd cheated on me with Trowa, so I didn't feel I could tell you what was going on. I know now that I was wrong, on several fronts, but knowing that you hadn't cheated and that I had, well... I understood why you didn't want me any more, after you learned about my life on Erith. I had my own conscience to deal as well as a tall pile of guilt. I decided that you were better off never knowing about my... dilemma." I looked down at my large belly and touched it tenderly. "This has been my burden and my joy to bear, Heero, not yours. It probably would have been better if you'd never come here, that you remained ignorant of this."

Confusion filled the deep blue eyes. "Joy?"

I knew that the moment of truth had come, that I needed to either lie through my teeth to Heero or tell him the truth. Frankly, lying wasn't my thing and it took too much energy and frankly, I was also too tired to go through a long explanation about what had happened on Erith. I decided on the next best thing. "Come up to my room with me. I've written an account about all that happened to me on Erith. Rather than tell you about it, I think it would be easier in the long run to just let you read about it."

Heero studied me a moment before he nodded and stepped aside to let me walk past him. I was embarrassed by how slowly I took the stairs, like an old man with a broken hip. I clung to the railing and lifted my right foot to the step above, then brought my left up to meet it before advancing up another. The last thing I needed was to take a fall. Halfway up the staircase, Heero took hold of my elbow to aid me. I guess it was pretty obvious that there was something wrong and I could feel waves of concern rolling off him as we moved slowly up the staircase together.

Once in my room, I went to the desk, turned on my computer and brought up the first page of the memoirs of my fantastical, almost unbelievable trip to another world. Motioning for Heero to sit down, I simply told him, "Read it and then we'll talk. I need to lie down."

Heero nodded, then sat down in the chair and turned towards the screen. I walked over to my bed, pulled back the covers and crawled under them. I turned to my side with my back to the other man now staring at the words displayed on the computer screen.

Over the course of two hours, the room remained silent except for the soft click of the mouse as Heero scrolled down the page and an occasional sharp intake of breath. Lying in my warm bed in the otherwise quiet room, I was lulled into a more relaxed state, and even though it should have been impossible to do so, I fell asleep.

It was the feeling of a warm body pressed against my back that woke me, as well as an arm coming around my side to rest against the center of my large stomach. Turning my head, I was greeted to the sight of Heero's handsome face. Seeing that I was awake, he rose up slightly to look down on me, wearing a strange expression. "I'm not sure what to say," he said sounding uncertain. "It's all true, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I answered, closely watching for his reaction.

"Are you afraid?" he asked. Then with his hand still on my stomach, he spread his fingers and gently ran his open hand over the firm swell.

"Sometimes," I answered honestly.

"You could have told me. I would have understood." I didn't know if that was true or not, but the look of hurt I'd seen in his eyes earlier was there again, but this time it was because I'd not trusted him with my secret.

"I thought you'd cheated on me and I didn't think I could trust you," I confessed, and then contritely I said, "I'm sorry I believed the worst, Heero. But you have to admit that your actions were suspicious and pointed me to that conclusion."

Heero shook his head. "I should have been up front with you about going with Trowa to his meetings, especially when I could see you were upset and withdrawing from me. I'm sincerely sorry, Duo. I never meant to hurt you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you either," I told him. Then feeling a kick from within, I moved Heero's hand to that spot and, sure enough, the kick was repeated.

"That's the baby?" he asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah, at least one of them. They kick a lot. I don't suppose there's a lot of room in there for the two to share. Kind of like how the two of us fit in Wing's cockpit that time my transport was blown up and you had to give me a lift to the safehouse."

A small smile crept onto Heero's face at the memory. "Ah, I remember that. It was a tight squeeze, but we made good use of that opportunity, didn't we?"

"Didn't we always?" I smirked at the memory. Suddenly, I was beginning to feel much too warm. Heero's hand slid out from under my hand and moved to brush away the fringe of hair that partially covered my eyes.

The mood quickly sobered again. I felt the strong need to close the distance between myself and the only person I'd ever loved. "Can you forgive me, Heero? I can tell you again all the reasons for what I did on Erith, but it all really comes down to the fact that I thought I'd lost you forever."

"Shh." Heero's fingers on my lips stopped my continuing apology. "After reading what you wrote, I understand; but that doesn't mean I have to like it." He lowered his head and brought his lips to rest gently against my own. The kiss was tender and gentle and not nearly as long as I would have liked. When he pulled away, we both opened our eyes and exchanged twin smiles of contentment.

"Will you take me back?" Heero asked, his eyes heartbreakingly hopeful.

"Will you have me?" I asked in return, bringing my hand up to comb my fingers through his thick, coarse hair.

In answer to my question, Heero swooped down once again and kissed the living daylights out of me. It was immediately clear, even without words, what the answers to our questions were.

In the distance, we both heard the sound of the front door open and then close, signaling that someone had come home. "That's gotta be Quatre," I whispered, my lips feeling somewhat numb from the make-out session I'd just enjoyed with my lover. I lay somewhat comfortably on my back with Heero pressed against my side, his head on my shoulder.

"Can I see?" His hand was once again moving over my stomach.

I was surprised by how shy I suddenly felt at the idea of Heero looking at my bloated belly. I'd always been slender, my stomach flat. I couldn't help but wonder if he'd be repulsed by my distorted body. Logic countered my fear by saying that if I was going to be with Heero again, his seeing me in all my glory was going to happen sooner or later. I'd shared with him all that had happened on Erith, what else did I have to fear? Being honest with him, in all aspects of my life, was the next step after confessing and apologizing to each other. "Uh... sure."

When I didn't move, Heero sat up and slowly began to undo the belt to my robe and then slid the two sides away. He carefully lifted my tank top, then his gentle fingers worked down the elastic waistband of my large sweat pants to fully expose the firm mound with the skin stretched tightly over it. Using both hands, Heero explored every inch of my stomach, and the babies seemed to react immediately, kicking against the light touch.

"They're active," Heero mused, and with a smile he added, "Just like their father."

I grinned. "Guess this proves the saying, 'What goes around, comes around'. I think I'm gonna have my hands full."

"We'll have our hands full," Heero amended, and then our eyes locked onto each others'.

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling excited and nervous about his answer. "You didn't ask for this and it's a huge responsibility, one I'm not sure I'm ready for."

He placed a kiss on my exposed belly, then moved up to place another one on my nose and smiled. "I'm sure. This should prove to be the adventure of a lifetime for us."

"Lifetime?"

Heero nodded and his face became serious once more. "Let's make this legal, Duo. I want to be your partner in every way, help you raise your children and grow old with you. That is, if you'll let me."

"Damn, Heero." My breath hitched as an enormous lump formed in my throat. "That's the most romantic thing you could have said to me."

Heero blushed. "I'm not the most romantic guy in the world, but I mean it. Just say yes and I'll arrange everything." A gleam of anticipation sparkled in the dark blue eyes that I'd always thought so beautiful.

"How about hell yeah?"

"Perfect."

Quatre's gasp at the door broke the heated kiss that followed my acceptance. "Heero?" the blond questioned. Our friend was obviously taken aback by the Japanese man's presence in my bed.

Not moving from his place next to me, Heero looked over his shoulder and said, "Get used to it, Quatre. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."

Over Heero's shoulder, I saw a large smile grow on the blond man's face. I had no doubt that he was seeing and feeling waves of love coming off of Heero and myself. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'll go make some lunch for us. I'll bring it up... and knock when it's ready." He then backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

**TBC**

We're nearing the end. My thanks to all of you faithful, encouraging reviewers.


	25. Chapter 25

**Through The Vortex  
Chapter 25**

When Trowa arrived home from work that evening, he was greeted by three smiling faces. Without going into the details of the day and all the decisions that we'd made, the four of us shared a pleasant evening meal together with Trowa's eyes shifting back and forth between Heero and myself and then to Quatre, hoping for an explanation for the sudden reunion. Quatre, wearing a smile that wouldn't quit, couldn't hold it in any longer, and in a rush he informed his lover that Heero would be moving in with us immediately. Then looking like he was about to jump out of his skin, he announced that after the babies were born Heero and I were going to become legal partners and that Heero intended to adopt the babies, becoming their second father. The evening became one of celebration with everyone in high spirits, that is until Quatre caught a glimpse of my swollen hands and announced that I'd been up too long and needed to lie down. Heero turned to me with a worried expression on his face and I explained to him what toxemia was.

When Sally came for her regular visit on Sunday, she didn't seem very surprised to see Heero by my side with a list of questions he'd prepared for her regarding my condition and care. It was kind of embarrassing to have Heero observing Sally check me over, but the encouraging smile he gave me helped soften my discomfort.

As Sally packed her bag, I couldn't help but notice her frown and neither did Heero. "What is it?" he asked, shifting his eyes to me and looking worried. "Other than Duo's blood pressure being stubborn about going down, I'm concerned that Wufei is going to be hurt at being left in the dark about this." She looked to me, her expression pleading. "Now that the four of you share Duo's secret, can't you trust him with it also? You know that he would keep your secret, even from Director Une if you ask him to."

I looked from her to Heero and he gave me a slight nod of his head. "All right. Why don't you bring him over for dinner tomorrow night and we'll tell him then. I've missed him," I added. "It's been hard to only communicate with him over the internet and vid phone and to mislead him about why I couldn't leave the house."

"He's about to storm the place, much like Heero did," Sally said, with a slight grin of affection as she referred to her younger husband. "He respects the fact that you requested time and space to readjust to being back, but he's thinking enough is enough. And now that he knows you and Heero have reconciled, he thinks it's time for him to be welcomed here also, as your friend and former partner."

"He's right. Enough is enough," I said, feeling guilty.

"He's missed you," she said. "I'll bring him for dinner then. What time?"

"Seven," I said. "We'll break the news as soon as he arrives, put the smelling salts under his nose and then eat dinner," I joked, causing Heero tp snort and Sally to laugh.

"I'll wager that he'll remain conscious and merely blink his eyes when you tell him," Sally chuckled.

"I think he'll hyperventilate," Heero said. "I know I nearly did."

"He'll probably get mad and rant about me being so stupid for not using protection," I said, teasing. That got me another laugh from the other two. Sally left shortly after that and I was glad we'd decided to tell Wufei. I could see that my decision had made Sally happy as well.

Since Heero's arrival, he displayed his dedication to me by sleeping each night in the king-size bed next to me and _The Belly_. I knew it wasn't an easy thing for him to do because with my added girth, I had become a restless sleeper, shifting my bulky belly constantly during the night, trying to find a comfortable position. I told him he should find another room to sleep in so he would be rested for work, but he refused, saying we'd already spent too much time apart.

When I woke up that Monday morning, I could hear the shower going in the bathroom. Heero was getting ready for work, and that thought brought a lazy smile of contentment to my face. I stretched like a cat after a long nap and relished the idea that I was no longer alone. Despite everything that had happened, Heero was with me again and it looked as if everything was going to be all right.

I shifted my cumbersome body slightly and even without looking I could tell by the tightness of my skin and numb sensation in my lower extremities that my feet and ankles were swollen. Opening my eyes, I glanced down at my hands and saw they were in the same sorry state. I figured I must have overdone it sitting up the night before playing poker with my three house mates. I sighed, forlornly and resigned, knowing that I'd be spending the entire day in bed, my feet slightly elevated and Quatre fussing over me, wearing a worried expression on his face.

The sounds coming from the shower suddenly stilled and I turned my head towards the door, anticipating Heero's exit. I wasn't disappointed when a few moments later he appeared with his wet hair sticking out in every direction as a result of a vigorous towel drying. Heero walked into the bedroom with only a towel wrapped around his slender hips, looking sexier than ever. As his eyes met mine, we shared a warm smile.

Moving to the bed, Heero climbed up on it to lie next to me, and as he drew closer I could smell the floral scent of my shampoo on his damp hair as his head came to rest on my pillow.

"Morning," he said in his deep, sexy bedroom voice. Despite my condition, my body began to react to that suggestive tone and the way Heero's hand stroked my thigh didn't help me one bit at trying to keep my libido in check.

"Come on, Heero," I moaned. "Have a little pity here."

"Where? Here?" he asked teasingly while redirecting his hand to caress the growing bulge under my enormous boxers.

"I... I.." I could only gasp and then let out a long, drawn-out moan replace what I was intending to say. It felt so good to have Heero touching me again, but I wasn't sure I was capable of doing much in my condition. Then the memory of Tradell came to me, of how sexually active he'd been on his last day of pregnancy. Sure, we didn't try penetration, but hand stimulation worked just fine and it didn't seem to have any adverse effect on him or the baby he carried. With that reassurance in mind, I decided to just enjoy anything Heero might want to try.

"This is okay, isn't it?" he asked. I only had the ability to nod my head. Then my lover's mouth became as equally active as his hand, and I found it hard to catch my breath as my body responded to the titillating touch. Somewhere along the way Heero lost his towel, further exciting me by his own obvious state of arousal, which was pressed against my upper thigh. It had been too long since we'd been together and within moments I came in Heero's hand with a long, deep moan, dulled slightly by Heero's mouth covering my own. Heero's gasp came a moment later and the boxers I was wearing became uncomfortably wet and sticky, inside and out.

Heero settled next to me, uncaring about the mess he'd caused as he showered me with grateful kisses on any part of my neck and face that he could reach. For my part, I could only gasp, trying to get air into my lungs and willing the dizziness that came with my orgasm to go away.

"It's been so long," Heero whispered into my ear, and I could only reply with a nod of my head. "How long before we can be together, more intimately?" he asked.

"I don't know," I answered breathlessly. "We'll have to ask Sally." I closed my eyes as the room continued spinning, my stomach with it. "I'm going to have my stomach cut open, and we're not quite sure what it will entail until Sally gets in there to remove the babies and then the A.U."

"Are you all right?" Heero asked, sounding concerned.

I forced a smile but couldn't manage at the moment to open my eyes. "You just take my breath away," I joked.

There was a pause before Heero spoke again. "We'll need to change your boxers and the sheets before Quatre brings up your breakfast."

"Hiding the evidence?" I chuckled. Heero had always been very private about our love life, so I wasn't really surprised by his wanting us to clean up a bit. "The sheets are in the linen closet down the hall, next to Quatre's bedroom," I told him. "I'll roll myself out of bed and strip it... and me."

After one more brief kiss from Heero, the warmth of his body next to mine disappeared. Opening one eye cautiously, I was grateful that the room seemed to be coming close to a stand still. Damn, but I was feeling odd that morning. I struggled to my side and eased myself off the bed. The long, extra-large T-shirt I wore to bed at night had a wet spot on it also. It would have to be washed along with the sheets and my boxers. Taking the corner of the blankets, I pulled them down to the bottom of the bed, then tugged at the top sheet, pulling it out, then worked at freeing the fitted corners of the bottom sheet. I stopped short as the room began to spin again and I felt a surge of heat racing through my body. Black spots filled in my vision and I barely managed to call out in a strangled voice for Heero before I was overcome and collapsed to the floor.

I was told later by Heero what had happened after he'd left me to go to the linen closet, intent on collecting the softest sheets possible for our bed. Clad in only his bathrobe, he said he was feeling unbelievably happy again, and vowed to himself that nothing would come between us again if he could help it. He was pondering the long months that had passed, that had, at times, been sheer hell for him, thinking I had been taken from him, maybe forever. He'd worked himself to exhaustion in badgering and coercing the scientists at Leavesly Laboratories to re-create the experiment that had taken me by rebuilding their machine and the exact conditions that had created the vortex. He told me he'd almost broken down in front of Wufei and the scientists surrounding us after I'd been delivered back to Earth, something the private and stoic man would have fought to keep from doing. And then, just when he thought his life had been righted, I'd accused him of having an affair with Trowa and then disappeared with Quatre. The night he'd snuck into the house to talk to me was painful for him to recall, and he chose to try and not to think of it at all. He was devastated, hurt and furious after learning that I'd taken on two lovers during my absence.

When Heero began to emerge from his anger weeks later, he realized that no one had seen or heard from me since my return. His bitterness slowly turned to curiosity and he began inquiring after me. His curiosity became concern when he learned that no one, other than Sally, Quatre, Trowa and one brief visit from Wufei right after I left the hospital, had seen me. Fearing that something might have happened and that the other's were purposely keeping it from him, he knew he'd not rest if he didn't go to Quatre's house and get the answers for himself. It was that unannounced and fortuitous visit that had brought about the shocking revelation about my condition and the reason why he was now living at the house with me back in his arms.

Closing the linen closet door, Heero returned to the bedroom, hearing faint sounds coming from downstairs, from the kitchen. He was thinking about Wufei's visit that night and felt relieved that we were going to include our friend in on the secret reason for my confinement. He wondered how Sally had managed to keep her weekly visits with me a secret and Wufei from visiting.

He entered the bedroom again, only to find it empty. "Duo?" he called out. Setting the sheets on the partially stripped bed, he went to the bathroom to see if I was there. Seeing it empty, he wondered where I could have gone. Sally had forbidden me to take the stairs alone, so he didn't think I'd go down to the kitchen by myself, especially knowing Quatre would be bringing my meal up to me. "Duo?" he called out again, in the hallway this time, and he frowned when he didn't get an answer.

He walked back to the nearly unmade bed with the intent of stripping it completely and then remaking it. With a sigh he began to strip off the bottom sheet from the side he'd slept on. He moved to the other side of the bed and found me lying unconscious on the floor. He called out to me, panicked, and fell to his knees next to my prone body and began to examine me for injuries. He noted my pulse was rapid and my face was flushed. Turning his head, he yelled towards the doorway, "Quatre, come here now!" Within moments the blond man came bursting through the bedroom door. Heero told me that Quatre's eyes were wide with panic.

"What's wrong?" he gasped.

"Duo's fainted. Call Sally." If he hadn't been so concerned by my current state, Heero said he might have been impressed that even in his pajamas and bathrobe, Quatre was prepared, having had his cell phone on him. No sooner had he flipped it open and hit a few numbers than he was speaking to the good doctor.

Heero kept an ear to the conversation, but his thoughts were concentrated on me, partially cradled in his arms. He pulled the top blanket off the bed and wrapped it around me. "You'll be all right," he'd whispered, brushing back the strands of hair that covered my eyes. "Nothing is going to happen to you. I won't let it."

"Sally wants to know if we can bring him to the hospital or if we need an ambulance," Quatre relayed his conversation, speaking quickly. "She says the least amount of people involved, the better. She'll arrange for a private room and have the surgical unit ready with a nurse from Preventers that she says she trusts implicitly to be discrete. She'll also have an anesthesiologist on hand and will try to hide the fact that Duo's a male."

Heero nodded. "Go bring your car out front then come back and help me carry him down the stairs. I don't want to take a chance of dropping him."

"Got it!" Still holding the phone to his ear, Quatre relayed their plans to Sally even as he flew out of the bedroom, his robe fluttering behind him.

He was back five minutes later, dressed in pair of wrinkled slacks, one of Trowa's shirts and a jacket that he'd hastily thrown on before getting the car out of the garage and pulling it up to the front of the house. "How is he? Any change?"

"No," Heero answered, his eyes shifting briefly from me to the blond. "Come hold him while I get dressed, then we'll leave."

"Right!" Quatre came and switched positions with Heero and kept his eyes on me while my lover rushed to throw on some clothing. Heero was ready in moments, and the two of them managed to get me off the floor and secured between them as they worked together to carry me down the staircase and out the front door. The blanket covering my large belly kept me from being seen by any bystander observing them as they maneuvered me into the back seat of the car, my upper body cradled once again in Heero's arms.

Quatre told me later that he drove like a bat out of hell as he rushed us to the hospital, and that the silence in the car felt oppressive as the two of them worried about my condition.

I came to a few minutes before we arrived at the hospital. With a slight moan from the massive headache I had, my eyes fluttered open to see Heero above me, looking like he was about to cry. "You fainted," he told me in a choked voice. "We're on our way to the hospital. Sally's going to meet us there."

"The babies?" I asked. Frantic for their well-being, my hands went immediately to my stomach.

"I'm sure they're fine," he answered me, though the look in his eyes told me he was worried about them as well.

I suddenly felt more afraid than I'd been in a long time. "Heero?" There was so much fear in my voice, and I could that see my lover was at a loss as to how he could ease it. "If something happens to me, I put it in my will that Quatre's to have custody of the babies, if they survive. I'm sorry, but you weren't in the picture when I made it out."

"They'll be fine, Duo, and so will you. Nothing is going to take you away from me again," my lover said in a firm, don't contradict me manner.

"Listen, Heero." I reached a hand out of the blanket to clutch at his shirt. "If I'm not around, will you help raise my kids? Be a part of their lives and tell them about me and how much we loved each other?"

"You're not going anywhere, Duo. Do you hear me? You will not leave me behind again." With his eyes welling with tears and his lips were pressed tightly together. I found it hard to tell whether Heero was angry, afraid or just determined that what he said was true.

"Please, Heero. They're a part of me, and I want them to know you, to see why you were my only love."

Heero leaned over me and buried his face in my hair. "Don't leave me, Duo. Be strong for yourself, for the babies and me."

"I'll try, Heero," I whispered, even as Quatre announced that we'd reached the hospital. "But if something does go wrong, promise me you'll be a part of their lives."

As Heero held me, tight enough to make me believe he'd never let me go, I felt him nod his head, giving me the answer I needed... but lying all the same. During the war, Heero used to take his life lightly, seeing himself as a tool to be used and then discarded. But when he discovered he had feelings for me and that they were reciprocated in full, he later said he'd found a reason to live, to see past the pain and constant struggle. He told me, just days before my fainting spell, that losing me to the vortex had nearly killed him, that only thing that kept him going, after he'd learned that Duwan wasn't me, was the hope that he could re-create the experiment and possibly retrieve me. We both knew he couldn't go through that again. If I died, the ultimate no return scenario, I felt in my sinking heart that he'd follow soon after. Even the prospect of caring for the two infants I carried, or that fact that I wanted him to live a long, full and happy life, was probably not enough incentive for him to endure a life without the only love he'd ever known. How the hell could I have ever doubted his love for me?

The car stopped and Quatre turned his head, tears coursing unchecked down his pale cheeks. It was obvious that he'd overheard our conversation. Heero looked out the window to see Sally approaching the car from the emergency room doors with a nurse, a Preventers' insignia on her pink uniform, standing beside a gurney. Quatre was out of the driver's seat and opening the back door, ready to help me out of the back seat. It took the three of them to remove me from the car and get me up on the bed with wheels. Sally rushed us into the hospital, past nurses' desks and medical personnel who got out of the way as we sped down the corridor.

Once I was secured in a private room, Sally's exam began. Her expression was troubled as she took my vitals and did an ultra sound to check the babies.

She pulled the blanket from my body and it was obvious that my ankles and feet were more swollen then they'd been before. "The toxemia is getting out of hand," she announced, draping her stethoscope around her neck. "Your blood pressure is dangerously high and you're close to having a stroke, which could very well be life threatening."

Thinking back, the only good thing about the serious discussion was that everyone seemed to ignore the fact that my boxers and T-shirt were wet with spots of white cum on them. Despite my concern for myself and babies, I was ridiculously embarrassed and made an effort to cover myself up after Sally's examination of my stomach and ankles.

"So what do we do?" Heero asked, his face stony.

"We need to take them out now," Sally replied solemnly and all eyes in the room turned to look at me. Then a smile grew on her lips. "Ready to be the first man to deliver twins from an artificial womb?" she asked, and there was something about her sudden change in manner that buoyed my spirits and made me think that everything was going to be all right.

"If you're sure they'll be okay, then let's do it," I answered, with a shaky smile of my own.

"All right. I'll be back after I make sure the surgical room is free. I won't be long." And then she was gone.

"I'll call Trowa," Quatre said in the background as Heero reached for my hand and brought it to his lips, his fear for me taking away his ability to speak.

"Call Wufei," I said, my eyes not leaving Heero's. "Tell him what's going on once he gets here."

"I'll do it," Quarte said, now closer to the bed. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Just stay close, Quat," I told my friend, once again feeling fearful about so many things. And as the blond moved closer, on the side of the bed opposite Heero, I held my hand out to him, my steadfast friend. "Thanks for everything. If something should go wrong.."

"No!" Quatre stopped me from going further by putting his fingertips to my lips. "There will be no ifs. I'm here for you and so is Heero. You'll be fine, trust me."

A tear gathered at the corner of my right eye and leaked out. "I trust you," I said, my voice a breathy whisper. "Both of you. Guess I'm just... scared."

Quatre smiled down on me with a look of understanding. "You've survived the streets of L-2, losing everyone you cared about and came out a winner after two wars. Then you took a trip to another world and came back with two lives growing inside of you. You're not going to let a little thing like giving birth to twins bother you, are you? Women do it all the time, and so can you."

I couldn't help the chocked laugh that came from his pep talk. I gave Quatre a grateful smile. "Nah. Hell, if Tradell and Herron could give birth to one baby, I can easily do two." I turned my head to look at Heero, his face was still grave. "Isn't that right, Heero?"

"You can do anything you set your mind to," my dark haired lover replied somberly.

"We're all set," Sally announced the moment she stepped into the room. "Let's go."

Quatre helped her and the nurse to move the bed back out the door while I kept a firm hold on Heero's hand, determined not tp let go until we reached the doors to the surgical area.

"You'll need to stay here, Heero," Sally said gently to my pale-faced lover as we reached the double doors leading to the surgical wing. "We're going to put Duo out completely because it might take a while before I figure out how to get the A.U. out of his body. But I'll send word to you as soon as the babies are delivered."

Heero nodded, then looked to me. "Do you have names chosen for them?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Our daughter is to be Hillary and our son..." I paused a moment as an idea came to me. "I want you to name him, Heero. He'll be your son, too. You can tell me what you've chosen when I see you again, all right?"

Heero leaned over the bed rail to bring his face mere inches from my own, looking at me as if he were memorizing every aspect of my face. "Don't you dare leave me again, Duo," he said in a tense whisper. "I need you every bit as much as your children do." He then closed the distance between us for a brief kiss, then reluctantly straightened. He held onto my hand until the last minute, and as the double doors of the surgery section of the hospital closed behind us, I kept my eyes locked onto his face as he peered through the small inlaid window in the door. Just before we turned into the operating room, I glimpsed Quatre coming to stand close to him, also looking through the small window as he spoke to Heero. I could only imagine that Quat was reassuring him that everything was going to be all right.

TBC

Sorry for the wait. >shrugs > The holidays, you know. Heads up, there's only one more chapter to go.


	26. Chapter 26

**Vortex  
****Chapter 26** **A New Beginning**

I wasn't there to see it, but from the detailed descriptions I got later from Quatre, Trowa and Heero, I was able to piece together what happened after Wufei arrived. Evidently, the look on the Chinese man's face was priceless as Quatre broke the news to him of my condition. Wufei's dark eyes reportedly narrowed as they moved slowly from Heero to Quatre and then to Trowa, who had arrived only minutes before him. Wufei saw sincerity on Quatre's face, concern and worry in Heero's and humor in Trowa's eyes.

"You're kidding me," he stated, both black eyebrows drawing together as Quatre nodded solemnly that what they'd just told him was true.

The blond could see Wufei was not convinced. "I'm dead serious, Wufei. Duo was taken for being Duwan in Erith and they implanted an artificial uterus in him with two fertilized eggs. He's the biological father to the eggs provided by Erith's version of Hilde Schweibeker. After Duo is out of surgery and we're sure everything is fine, I'll go back to the house and get a copy of the transcript he wrote detailing his time on Erith and everything that happened to him."

Wufei eyes widened when he realized the three were indeed serious. He moved to the pumpkin orange sofa in the waiting room and sat down, a dazed expression on his face. "How is this possible?" he asked.

Quatre continued to answer for the group. "Duwan was part of an elite group in Erith which is a cast society. The women of the upper class govern the population and it's their practice not to bear their own children. Their scientists came up with an A.U., an artificial uterus that sustains life in a male's body. Duo learned that the young men of the rank he found himself in were selected and contracted to carry an inseminated egg in this artificial womb for a woman or couple of a higher rank. That's one of the reasons why I think Duwan was carrying on in such an emotional way. He'd contracted with Hilde's counterpart to bear her children and was about to receive the inseminated A.U. when he and Duo switched universes."

Wufei's back stiffened. "So Duo showed up and they proceeded with the placement of this... A.U.?" All three of his friends nodded. "You're not just trying to pull one of Duo's practical jokes on me, are you?"

Heero answered, somewhat distractedly. "We'll give you all the proof you need shortly, when a baby girl and boy are born." His eyes wandered to the doorway of the room, anxious for some word about how things were going. "I know it's hard to believe, Wufei," he continued. "But we've seen and felt the proof of Duo's claims. Sally's been seeing him every Sunday since his return and is in the process of delivering them now."

Wufei looked absolutely dumbfounded, no doubt from the fact that his wife had withheld such important information regarding his former partner. Trowa sat next to him and spoke in a reassuring manner. "I can assure you that we have no doubt of what Duo claims is true. We've felt the babies moving in his bulging stomach."

The clock on the waiting room wall ticked the seconds off slowly and they spent the next forty minutes speaking in low tones, if they spoke at all, about Duo's present condition and some of his experiences on Erith. Time dragged on, and when no word came from Sally about what was going on in the operating room, the mood in the small room turned pensive.

"Something's wrong," Heero stated after an hour had passed. He stood once again and paced the small area between the two sofas the faced each other.

Trowa stood along with him, also restless. "I'll see what I can find out." Yet as he moved towards the door a young woman in nurse's scrubs came through it. "Mr. Yuy?" she asked, looking at the four young men for the person she sought.

"That's me." Heero said as he stepped forward.

"Dr. Poe asked me to come and tell you that you're now the father of two healthy children, a boy and a girl. Your wife is still in surgery, but the doctor says things are going well and that you're not to worry."

Heero sagged with relief at her words, and Trowa was there to steady him.

"Wife?" Wufei asked, one eyebrow raised in surprise to the reference made supposedly about Duo. He was instantly elbowed by Quatre as a warning.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the nurse said, realizing her mistake. "I just assumed you were married," she said to Heero.

"Engaged," Heero said, having enough presence of mind to respond appropriately.

The woman smiled, dismissing her understandable blunder. "In any case, after the babies have been cleaned and checked by the on-call pediatrician, you'll be able to see them in the mother's room."

"Congratulations, Heero," Trowa said, clapping the Japanese man on the shoulder. "You're a dad. How does it feel?"

Slightly unfocused blue eyes rose to meet his friends. "Scary as hell."

Quatre looked to the nurse. "Would you please let us know when the mother is out of surgery? We've been worried about her."

"Of course," she replied, then turned and left the room.

The four friends glanced at each other with smiles growing on each of their faces. "We're uncles again," Quatre announced happily.

"Wife?" Wufei asked, looking both confused and amused.

"Sally's trying to hide the fact that Duo's male," Quatre answered. "It'll be rather hard to explain his giving birth to a baby much less twins, so we're doing what we can to protect both Duo and the babies."

Though the blond made it all sound reasonable, he and the other two noticed that Wufei still looked a bit unsettled by the recent revelations and the event happening in the other room.

"Have you thought of a name for your son yet?" Trowa asked Heero as the four returned to their previous seats with Heero and Wufei on one sofa and Quatre and Trowa sitting across from them.

"I've thought of a couple but haven't decided on one yet."

"Such as?" Trowa hedged.

"Sam or Ben."

"Sam or Ben?" Quatre parroted, surprised.

"They're rather common names, Heero," Wufei said. "Why those?"

"I like them." There was a defensive tone in Heero's reply.

Quatre looked questioningly to the new father. "Are you sure you don't want something a bit more... distinct?"

Heero frowned. "All of us have distinctive names, whether they're our own or ones we've selected for ourselves. Look at the lives we've led. We trained early, lost our childhoods, fought in two wars before we even had stubble on our chins. I don't want that for our children. I can hope that with an average, traditional name they'll have a chance at a normal life."

"I can't argue with that," Trowa said, looking at Heero with approval.

"And the girl's name?" Wufei asked.

"Duo chose Hillary, but I don't know why."

"Hillary." Trowa tried the name out on his tongue and gave Heero a smile. "I like it."

"Me too," Quatre piped in. "I'll bet Duo chose it because it sounds like their mother's name."

The room then fell silent with only the hum of the muted television, which was bolted to metal brace that was attached to the wall.

After five minutes had passed, Wufei spoke up. "Anyone want to fill me in on how Duo managed to get himself pregnant without throwing a major temper tantrum?"

Quatre looked from Heero to Trowa and saw that they preferred he do the telling. "Well, since you don't want to wait to read about it, let's start at the beginning."

Quatre, I was told, gave a brief account of my time on Erith as Duwan's replacement. Yet the lengthy tale went unfinished when the same nurse as before brought them news that Heero's "fiancé" had come out of surgery and everything appeared to be fine. She then led the four men down the corridor to a room that she said the babies' mother would be placed in after a short period of time in recovery. In the mean time, Dr. Poe had requested the babies be brought to the room to be held by their family members.

Two clear-sided infant beds were wheeled into the room moments after they arrived. In one bed was a small, pink blanket, cocoon-wrapped baby; in the other, a slightly smaller bundle in blue.

Heero walked up to both bassinets and gazed down on the tiny, slightly fussing infants. "Which one was born first?"he asked the nurse.

"The little girl," she replied. "She's also the larger of the two, weighing in at five pounds one ounce. That's actually a decent weight for a twin and considering the doctor reported her as being several weeks early."

"How much does the boy weigh?" Trowa asked, coming to stand next to Heero and peering over his shoulder to look down on the two.

"Four pounds ten ounces."

"So tiny," Quatre whispered in awe, standing across from Heero and Trowa with Wufei moving to position himself next to him.

"So, Daddy," the nurse looked at Heero. "Ready to hold one of them?"

With his body as stiff as a tight spring, Quatre told me it seemed a miracle that Heero managed to nod his head to the affirmative. The nurse promptly reached into one of the little beds and effortlessly picked up the pink blanketed bundle.

"If you'll sit in the chair, I'll hand her to you," she instructed.

Surprisingly, Heero did exactly as he was told, and a moment later the baby was set in his arms. He looked down upon a miracle of science and nature. "How is it possible to be so tiny and functioning?" he asked, a bit dazed.

The nurse gave him a contemplating look before saying, "You haven't been around babies much, have you?"

"No, not at all," Heero answered, in short, crisp words.

"May I hold the other baby?" Quatre asked, his blue eyes looking eager.

"Of course," the young woman smiled at him in return, and in a moment, the blond young man was holding Duo's son in his arms. He gazed down on the little boy whose eyes were open and looking around. "Trowa, look. Doesn't he look so wise?"

The uni-banged man chuckled at that notion then put his arms around Quatre's waist and guided him back towards the other vacant chair. When they reached it, Trowa took the seat and eased his lover to sit down on his lap. Looking over the blond's shoulder, he joined his lover in studying the baby's soft and serene face.

"He's beautiful," Quatre whispered, gazing at the little being in his arms.

"They're probably hungry," the nurse said. "I understand their mother won't be breast feeling, so I'll be back shortly with a bottle for both of them and you can feed them." The comment about not breast feeding came without judgment as the woman made her way towards the door, but she must have wondered at the snickers that followed behind her as she left the room.

As the door closed, Wufei was the first to speak. "It's still incomprehensible that Maxwell actually carried two babies in his body and that these are his children. They're aliens," he said as the idea occurred to him, causing him to frown. He then reached down to touch the soft pink cheek of the little girl, remembering the birth of his own daughter. He reminded himself that this infant was as innocent and pure as any child of Earth and that she deserved love and protection, but he knew there was going to be complications. "Will their organs and blood be human? If they should be detected as different, what will happen to them?"

"We're going to protect them, Wufei," Heero said, holding the little girl in a protective embrace. "They're also a part of Duo who is very much human. Sally will have the necessary tests performed and we'll see what our challenges will be and how best to meet them. We'll trust her to be their doctor and oversee their medical care. Duo and I intend to see that these two live a normal life."

A snort came from the Chinese man, causing the other three to look at him. "Normal? Do any of us know what that is?"

"We're intelligent enough to figure it out," Trowa answered.

Four sets of eyes turned to the door of the room as it opened once again. Sally entered and smiled at the scene before her. She looked first to her husband and gave him a small apologetic smile, then opened her mouth to say something. Yet before she could speak she was interrupted.

"How's Duo?" Heero asked abruptly.

"Still out from the anaesthetic, but everything looks good," she answered, pulling her eyes from her husband to give Heero her attention. "The artificial uterus I pulled out of him is unbelievably ingenious," she declared, her expression and rush of words displayed her excitement. "The material of the A.U. is like a tough, thin-skinned membrane, much like an embryonic sac in a woman. I haven't been able to study it too closely, but it's obvious that it functions the same as the uterus in a woman's body, sustaining the babies with everything they need to grow and develop normally. It's a scientific wonder of a magnitude I can't even begin to fully understand. It was adroitly attached to several of Duo's organs, keeping the blood flowing, but it was fairly easy to remove. Just a stitch or two closed the openings to the organs that were used to keep the blood supply circulating through it. This is a technology far beyond our understanding, and in creating life, it's unmatched. It's revolutionary!"

Quatre wore a worried expression as he asked, "Will we be able to keep this quiet, protecting the babies and Duo?"

Sally sobered a bit and answered, "As you know, I've registered Duo here as a female and let it be known that 'she'd' be in this single room with a private nurse. I know the four of you can change a bandage and check the sutures for signs of infection, right?" All four heads gave a nod in answer. She continued. "He's in recovery and I plan to stay with him until he's able to be brought in here. He should stay in the hospital for three days, but that might increase the risk of discovery. Once he opens his mouth, everyone will know he's no woman, even if we let all his hair out and put him in a dress. So I'm thinking that we should keep him here until tomorrow morning, each of us taking turns caring for him, then I'll take a couple of days off from work to care for him in your home." She was looking at Heero for his approval.

"That sounds like a good plan," he answered.

Sally smiled, and her eyes and heart softened in seeing the former gundam pilot holding Duo's child with such tender regard. "I see you're becoming acquainted. How's it going?"

Heero returned his gaze to the tiny girl in his arms. "We have no training in giving proper care to infants. Will you instruct us?"

"I'd be happy to," she answered then turned her eye to Quatre. "Do you have any experience, Quatre? You have a lot of sisters. Surely you've come in contact with some of your nieces and nephews."

An apologetic smile came to the blond's lips. "Most of my family is older than I am, some even have children my age, so I don't have much, if any, experience with them, certainly not in feeding, changing or bathing. The only way I knew how to keep any of them from fussing and crying was to give them back to their mother."

"Well then we have our work cut out for us," Sally said with a grin. She then looked to her husband. "Will you be able to take care of Fei-Lyn while I'm gone for a few days?" she asked.

"If Winner has enough room, I could bring her over and help. I'm not totally without experience in this area."

"Of course you're not," Sally rushed to reassure him. "You'll be a great help, that is if there's room." She looked at Quatre for his answer.

"Of course. I have two bedrooms to spare."

"Good, then it's settled. Tomorrow morning, after the little guy here is circumcised, we'll all go to the house together." All four men winced at the word Sally uttered.

"Is circumcision absolutely necessary?" Heero asked, looking over to the sleeping infant in Quatre's arms.

"Duo said he wanted to have it done. Do you have any objection to it?"

"Will it hurt him?"

"We do what we can to ease the pain, but yes, there is some pain. It's a common practice and babies heal remarkably quick, much quicker than if he decides to have it done much later in life."

"Well, if Duo wants it done then I guess we should do as he asks," Heero mumbled, watching as Quatre bent over and kissed the sleeping cherub's cheek.

The door opened yet again and the nurse who'd left earlier returned, carrying two bottles containing warm formula. She stopped to exchange a friendly smile with the doctor.

"Ah, lunch," Sally grinned, then reached out her hand for one bottle and carried it to Heero. "Just touch the nipple to her mouth, and then ease it in. It will only take her a moment before her instinct to suck kicks in." Sally demonstrated, and Heero's breath caught as the baby latched onto the latex nipple and began to suck on the bottle's contents.

Turning her attention to Quatre, sitting behind her, she handed him the other bottle and watched as he introduced it to the baby boy he was holding so tenderly. When the slight sucking sounds indicated that success was met again, she saw the happy grin the four men exchanged with each other. "Make sure you keep the bottle tilted so that no air gets into the nipple, just formula. And after about ten minutes, you remove the bottle, bring the infant up to your shoulder and pat it on the back, helping to remove any air that's gotten into his or her tummy."

"I can show them how to do that," Wufei stated, having become quite adept at that particular chore with his own daughter.

"Just remember, gentlemen," Sally said as she backed away to take in the whole scene. "Slow and gentle is the way to handle a new born. Always support the neck and hold them securely. I'm going back now to check on Duo, so Wufei will supervise until I return."

The men gave her a nod, unwilling to take their eyes from the babies, now quite adept at drinking their first nourishment.

Heero dutifully checked his watch, marking off the time until he needed to do this burping thing. During that time, Wufei spoke of his experiences with his daughter: the diaper blowouts and their sometimes horrible smell, spitting up, the long nights of walking the floor until she fell back to sleep, the laundry and the worry about SIDS. Heero had heard of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome before, and knew it was feared by all parents of infants. His worries for our ability to care for the two babies increased by leaps and bounds.

After Wufei help him guide the baby up to his shoulder and showed him how to pat her on the back, Heero looked up at his Chinese friend. "You'll help us, won't you, Wufei? You and Sally will help us raise these two so that they'll grow up to be good people? I'm sure we'll make mistakes at times, not having any fathers of our own, but we don't want to make the kind of mistakes that would make them grow up to be unprincipled people or to hate us."

Wufei smiled indulgently at Heero and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Part of being a parent is trial and error, Heero. But yes, Sally and I will be here to help. I have a few books at home that I'd highly recommend. The first one covers the time between birth and six months. I'd have brought it with me if I'd known the real reason why I was summoned to the hospital this morning."

A rare expression of apology crossed the Japanese man's face. "We were going to tell you tonight when you and Sally came to dinner," he told Wufei.

Wufei huffed in exasperation. "I can't believe my own wife hid such a thing from me."

"She's Duo's doctor," Trowa interjected, looking up from the little boy in Quatre's arms. "She couldn't say anything without his permission."

"That's another thing I don't understand," Wufei stated, perplexed. "Why did he keep this such a secret from us when he first returned? We're his closest friends. I was his partner at work. Did he not have faith in us that we would keep his secret? We could have been there to support him instead of being held at arm's length."

Quatre handed the bottle to Trowa and lifted the grunting baby up to his shoulder. Then following Heero's example, he began to pat the baby's back as he answered their friend's questions. "Duo was trying to protect himself and these two," he began. "He and Heero had problems and he wanted his condition had to be kept secret. Try not to be angry with him, Wufei. He's been through a lot and needed the time and space to come to terms with being back here as well as being pregnant. His first concern has been the babies, that their origins are kept a secret. You can only imagine the uproar if word got out that he'd been to another world and returned to our own pregnant. He and the babies would never know a moment of peace or normalcy."

Hillary chose that moment to burp, eliciting grins from all four men. Her brother followed her example a few moments later.

"I'm not mad," Wufei started up the conversation again. "Just a bit... hurt that he didn't trust me."

"He trusts you, Wufei," Heero said, laying the baby back down and offering her the bottle once again. "It was me he didn't trust. I made some rather poor decisions, leaving him to doubt my feelings for him. He went to Erith believing I was cheating on him. Which I wasn't," he said quickly yet firmly so there would be no doubt.

"It was my fault," Trowa said, trying to take his fair share of the blame.

"No," Quatre jumped in. "I was the one to take my concerns to Duo and had him doubting Heero enough to start checking on him."

"Then we're all at fault," Heero surmised.

Wufei looked from each speaker with growing alarm. "What the hell went on and why doesn't anyone ever tell me anything?" he asked, sounding highly perturbed.

"It's a long, personal story," Trowa said. "But you're right, we've kept too many secrets and it's caused nothing but trouble. We're family and we should turn to each other when things go wrong."

"I've got all afternoon," Wufei said, perching himself on the arm of Heero's chair, showing the other three that he was prepared to listen to the whole story.

"It all started with the accident at the circus last year." Trowa began at the beginning and stopped abruptly at the point where he left Quatre when Sally came back into the room.

Sally smiled at the group. "If someone will help me, Duo's ready to be moved out of recovery." Wufei and Trowa went to assist her while the two men remaining gazed adoringly at the two infants now sleeping in their arms.

"Do all babies look this... funny or is it because their half Erithians?" Heero asked, drinking in the sight of the infant's small face, her eyes, nose and mouth seeming much too close together.

Quatre chuckled softly. "Yes, they look like normal babies. Duo said the people of Erith looked just like we do."

"Sam," Heero said suddenly.

Quatre looked up, then smiled after realizing what Heero meant. He lowered his eyes back to the little boy in his arms and said softly with a smile, "Hello, Sam. I'm you're Uncle Quatre."

I woke up feeling like my eyelids were lined with lead. I struggled to open then as Sally's voice continued to nag, telling me to wake up. My stomach felt as if I still had morning sickness all over again.

"Congratulations, Dad," Sally said after I finally forced my eyes open, only to see her blurred visage above me. She was either wearing a mask or she was smiling, I couldn't tell.

"Okay?" I managed to ask, my mouth feeling like it had been housing a large cotton sock.

"Everyone's all right. Including you," she replied. "I got the A.U. out without too much trouble and noted the exact location of the connectors, or that's what I call them. They conducted the blood flow from your body's organs to the A.U. The whole system is absolutely amazing. It literally took my breath away."

"It's out?"

"Yes, and I've got the A.U. in a cooler where it will stay until I can get it to a lab of a very close friend of mine, a research scientist from the medical school where I earned my degree. He's willing to keep a lid on what I'm bringing. I've only hinted at what it is and he's unbelievably excited about examining it. I'll have to tell him where it came from, Duo, but you will remain anonymous as will the babies.

"Can I see them?"

"As soon as I take your vitals we can wheel you to your room. Heero and Quatre are feeding them their first bottles."

Despite how disoriented I felt, a feeling of warmth began to grow in the center of my chest and spread out until it filled my entire being.

"They're doing very well, even if they came a bit early," Sally continued. "Your daughter weighed five pounds one ounce, and your son four pounds ten ounces. They're small but in great shape. You'll be able to take them home tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" My sudden joy was replaced with fear. I didn't even know how to fix a bottle or change a diaper. Was there something different that you did while changing a girl's diaper than a boy's? My fear must have shown on my face, for Sally put a hand on my shoulder to get my attention.

"Wufei, Fei-Lyn and I are going to move into the house temporarily to help out. Seems the four of you men living in that house haven't a clue as to what to do. I'll teach the other three because you're going to need to take it easy for a week or two to let the internal and external sutures heal."

A wave of relief washed over me. "Thank you, Sally."

"Glad to help. Now, let me check you over quickly and then I'll get a couple of the guys to help me wheel you to your room."

After she poked and prodded, took my temperature and blood pressure, Sally left the room but was gone no more than a couple of minutes before she returned with Trowa and Wufei, both of them grinning like loons. Where's a camera when you need one?

"Congratulations," Trowa said, beaming as he came to my side. "They're wonderful."

"Really?"

"They're almost as beautiful as Fei-Lyn," Wufei said with a grin. "Almost."

I chuckled and it hurt. "Let's go see them," I said through gritted teeth.

The three wheeled me through the corridors that smelled strongly of antiseptic until we came to a room far from the nearest nurses' station. Trowa opened the door to the room of which I couldn't quite make out the numbers posted to the right of the door as I was pushed inside. I strained to lift my head to see the room's occupants and was rewarded by seeing both my best friend and my lover holding my newborn children. Damn, I thought the water works were supposed to stop after I delivered the two, but to my embarrassment the tears began to flow as I realized that in many ways I was possibly the luckiest man on the planet.

Heero stood with a pink bundle in his arms and watched as my bed was set in place with the headboard going up against the wall. Sally eased the head of the bed up slowly so that I could sit up more properly. I couldn't help the wince as my incision complained loudly to my nerves.

"Are you okay?" Heero asked, his concern visible in both his eyes and voice.

"Yeah. Sally says it's going to be tender for a while."

Heero leaned over and kissed my mouth gently, then cautiously set the baby in my arms. Together we gazed at one of the two miracles and I felt like bawling. What I could see of her looked perfect, though kind of pink and wrinkled. Then it struck me that she was mine, a part of me and something that no one could ever take away. I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't bend over to accomplish the simple task. "Could you lift her up for me, Heero?" I asked my lover, who remained close by. "I want to kiss her."

He picked her up so tenderly that my heart swelled with love for him all over again. It was easy to see that Heero was well on his way to loving my babies as much as I did already.

Hillary's cheek was so soft as I pressed my lips to it. I let them linger there for a moment, hoping to somehow convey my love to her and that I wanted her more than I ever thought possible. When I pulled away, I looked curiously at the stocking cap she wore on her head. "Does she have any hair?"

"I don't know," Heero confessed, and looked to Sally for permission to remove the cap.

"Go ahead and take it off," she told him. "But put it back on when you're done as it helps to retain heat. It's important to keep them warm."

"Let me help," Wufei said, seeing some hesitation from Heero to remove one of his supporting hands in order to take off the cap. All eyes in the room were focused on the baby's head as Wufei slipped the tiny cap off. Surprised gasps filled the air. Hillary's head was covered with short, black downy hair.

"She's got Hildah's hair," I said, feeling a bit remorseful that the babies' mother would never know the progeny she'd looked forward to.

"Want to meet your son?" Quatre asked, now standing on the other side of the bed with the blue-blanket bundle in his arms. Heero pulled up with Hillary back in his arms... and then my son was presented to me. After he lay in my arms, Quatre repeated Wufei's movements and removed the cap, revealing a lesser amount of hair than Hillary's and a completely different color. The blond hair was a definitely bit longer in length.

"I'll bet he takes after you, Duo?" Sally said. "Blond hair often turns brown as the child gets older."

I looked up to Heero, my heart about to burst with happiness. "Has he got a name yet?" I asked.

"Sam."

"Sam?"

Heero nodded.

"Sam," I said again, a bit more thoughtful. "Yeah, that's a cool name."

Quatre then gathered Sam up, just as carefully as Heero had Hillary, and brought him closer to my face. I gave my son a kiss identical to his sister and felt an enormous amount of love for my little boy. I just hoped I wouldn't screw up as a parent and have them come to hate or despise me one day. I didn't think I could bear for that to happen.

Things calmed down after that and as evening approached Wufei and Trowa left to get food for everyone. Quatre and Heero stayed with me and the babies while Sally moved in and out of the room on regular intervals. I learned from Sally that babies as small as my two needed to eat often, and that they have a very effective way of telling you when it's time. During the middle of the night, Sam began crying so hard that it looked like he couldn't get a breath, which scared the hell out of both of us. Heero produced a bottle and quickly showed me how to hold the baby and the bottle and then informed me that after a short while I would need to put him up to my shoulder and pat the air out of his tummy. The moment Sam began sucking the nipple and stopped crying I felt like I'd just won an Olympic medal.

The first diaper change was certainly an adventure. Wufei oversaw Quatre changing Hillary's diaper and told the wealthiest businessman in the colonies that he was lucky that time around, that the diaper was only wet. Quatre looked almost afraid to wipe the little bottom, but Wufei put the wet towellette in his hand and instructed him how to do it properly. After putting the diaper's tape closures in place, the relieved look on Quatre's face had all of us laughing. Then Heero took a chance at changing Sam, and not having a boy baby, Wufei didn't know to tell my lover that you have to be on guard for an unexpected spray. My kid's a dead shot, just like his dad; he got Heero in the spot right over his heart. But my stout-hearted soldier continued with his task, undaunted by the snickers from the other guys or the trail of wetness on his shirt. He also smiled after his task was completed, yet his smile was different from Quatre's relieved one; his was one of accomplishment.

The other guys left at eight o'clock that night; visiting hours were over. Sally had arranged for a cot to be brought in for Heero after he volunteered to stay and be my nurse that night. Neither of us knew at the time that the babies were going to be left in the room with us. Bonding, they called it. The twins woke each other up every couple of hours. We developed a routine with Heero going to the nurses' desk to request the formula, then we'd both feed them without a word, too tired to muster up the energy. Then Heero changed one baby's diaper while I burped the other. By morning, we were both exhausted and didn't even wake up when the nurse came for Sam just after sunrise for his little snip job.

The guys showed up at ten a.m. and found the four of us asleep. Sally came in with the release papers while Trowa and Quatre gathered up all the stuff the hospital was sending home with us. By the time they roused us, it was time to go.

Because I was told to spend the next few days in bed, the care of myself and the babies fell to my four friends and Sally, and I finally got caught up on my sleep.

After two weeks of being tutored in caring for my infant twins, Sally, Wufei and Fei-Lyn returned to their own home, Trowa resumed his work with the Preventers and Heero brought home his lap top to finish up some reports. Quatre continued to work from home and eagerly answered any calls for help. By the way he responded to the babies and how he spoke, I was pretty sure my friend was becoming enamored with the idea of having kids of his own one day. Quatre confided in me, while holding Hillary one evening, that if he and Trowa ever made their relationship legal, he'd like to adopt if not seek out a surrogate mother to carry a child for them.

By the time Heero went back to work, the twins were five weeks old I had pretty much recovered from my surgery. I found out that taking care of twins was a full-time job, but I was pretty sure I was getting the hang of it. The two seemed to grow like weeds. At six weeks, they both weighed around eight pounds, Hillary was closer to nine. Have I mention that they're the most beautiful children in the world?

Even though I was busy as hell, my days were rather routine and monotonous. Thankfully, when the guys came home at night, they took a turn at caring for the babies so that I could go for a walk or jog or drop into the health club Quatre had given me a membership to.

Six months passed quickly. I'd gone over the schematics of the injector with Howard and we discovered it's a sonic technology. Evidently sonic waves open up the pours on the skin surface and the medicine is pushed into them by a strong burst of air. No doubt there was an absorption ingredient put into the drug administered. We've patented it and have begun to replicate parts to construct a working model to present to medical manufacturers. With just this one invention, I've pretty much secured the future for myself and my children. I am, for now, a contented though very busy stay-at-home dad.

Sam and Hilly, as we've come to call her, are getting close to sleeping through the night, but when one wakes up crying, the other almost always wakes up to join the chorus. We've decided that when the momentous event of sleeping the night through occurs, some sort of celebration will be called for. At this age they're getting some personality, reaching for things and grabbing at my hair without mercy. They also smile a lot, which brings incredible joy to the whole household. To our relief, both children seem to be normal, healthy and relatively happy children. There's no question that they're both intelligent. Sam, with his dark blond hair curling slightly as it grows, is the more easygoing of the two. My darling Hillary has a fiery little temper, but she has a smile that can charm even the most disagreeable person. Heero declares it's a toss up whether she gets that trait from me or her mother.

This morning, which happens to be a Saturday, Quatre and Trowa offered to take care of the babies, allowing Heero and I some alone time and to sleep in. Heero had absolutely no intention of sleeping away the precious alone-time that we rarely enjoyed. While we were relishing a lively, early-morning roll between the sheets, arms and legs entwined as we wrestled for top, Quatre was looking at two fussy babies, both freshly diapered, dressed, and obviously hungry. Trowa was occupied in the bathroom, leaving blond to try to figure out how to take care of both of the fussing babies at the same time.

He bent to pick up Hillary, who always screamed the loudest and demanded more attention than her more malleable brother. Yet as soon as he had her in his arm Sam began to wail.

"Hurry up, Trowa!" Quatre called out to the hallway and got absolutely no answer, or at least he didn't think he had. It was hard to tell with Hillary screaming in his ear. He settled the squirming and loudly complaining baby into his left arm and picked up one of the two prepared bottles. He quickly placed it into her mouth, grateful that at least half of the noise in the room had come to a stop.

Sam was not to be soothed by Quatre's cooing sounds. "It's all right. Just a minute, Sam. Uncle Trowa will be here in a minute."

Then suddenly, Sam calmed a bit, his eyes settling on the bottle that was sitting on the top of the dresser on the opposite wall. Quatre was puzzled by his sudden change in mood and wondered what had calmed him. He moved closer to the baby seat to see if everything was all right. He decided that Sam had probably just been sympathetic to his twin in her cry for attention. When she stopped, he most likely forgot what he was crying about.

Hearing a slight noise behind him, Quatre thought that his lover had finally come to help. "It's about time, Trowa. You really shouldn't read while on the toilet, you'll get hemorrhoids." He turned his head, expecting to see the tall man, but was surprised to find he wasn't there at all. Then a movement caught his eye, and those baby blue eyes of his widened, almost to the point of popping out of his head. "DUO!" he screamed, loud enough for his voice to carry to our bedroom. Hillary, surprised at his loud voice, let the bottle slip from her mouth and began to cry again.

That morning I discovered that it's possible to lose a solid erection almost instantly. Hearing Quatre's panicked voice had that amazing effect on me. Heero's mouth released me the instant we heard his cry, and after jumping out of bed and hastily throwing on our robes, we ran to the babies' room, fearing something terrible had happened. We stopped short just inside the doorway and stood next to a transfixed Trowa. I'm sure our stunned expressions matched the one on Quatre's face as the four of us stared incomprehensively at the formula-filled baby bottle... hovering in mid air. It teetered to the left, and then to the right before moving slightly towards the place where Sam lay. The beautiful, curly-haired cherub sat safely strapped in his chair with his two pudgy arms reaching out to the teetering bottle several feet in front of him.

"Duo," Quatre whispered to me as if he was afraid his voice would affect what was happening. "What is this? Is Sam doing that?"

I turned to Heero, instantly noticing that his hands hung limp at his side, his expression was one of shock, and mouth as well as his robe were wide open. I reached out to hole the front of his robe closed. Slowly, his eyes shifted from the sight before us to me, silently looking for my answer. With an apologetic smile I looked up through the fringe of hair over my forehead and chuckled nervously. "I guess I kind of forgot about that Erithian trait. I think our lives have just gotten a bit more complicated." Is there a prize for understatement of the year?

Trowa's voice was a bit shaky when he finally managed to speak, stating the obvious. "I think baby-proofing the house has just taken on a whole new meaning."

The End

Thanks to all who reviewed, commented or emailed, and especially LW, my proofreader. It's been a laot of fun writing GW stories. With a new and demanding job, my life has been sucked up, leaving me little time to do anything, including writing. I've got ahalf dozenstories half finished on my computer but I honestly can't promise they'll be posted. All I can do is tell you that I'll try and get to them when I can.


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